Feedback – Greco-Persian Wars Essay

Good work – Congratulations!

BRING YOUR PLANNING SHEETS

Clear Meaning

• Spelling

• Capitalisation

• Apostrophes

• Contractions

Word Choice

• Amazing plan

– clever

– strategic

– effective

– tactical

– inspired

– robust

Amazing elephant hedge

Amount or Number

Decimate

• Punishment in the Roman Army

– One soldier out of every ten was selected by lot and then beaten to death by the other nine

• NOT a general word for defeat

WE ALL NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS

• Be organised – know dates

• Be ready – bring what is needed to class

• Be prepared – do required work/revision by the due dates

• Follow instructions

• Ask for help – well before the due date

Topic Sentences

• Example – Battle of Salamis – para on importance of Geography

• Geography was an important factor in the Battle of Salamis.

OR

• Geography was used by the Greeks to maximum advantage at Salamis.

Practice Topic Sentences

• Write/Read/Swap/Re-write

• Watch out for good topic sentences in your general reading

• Note them down

Organising your evidence

• Step 3 on planning sheet

• Dot points are fine

• Keep carrying references forward

Referencing

• In-text referencing used in essays

• Format is (Author, date of publication, page)

• Purpose is know whereinformation came fromand to give credit toauthor

Room for Improvement

• Short sentences for clear meaning

• No “I” “we” “our” (first person) statements in formal history essays

• Capital letters on proper nouns/adjectives – Greek, Persian, Australian

• Practice using correct capitalisation –always!

Room for Improvement (contd.)

• Xerxes Xerxes’ army, troops, ships, victory

• Jesus Jesus’ miracles

• James James’ good work

• Too = as well

• Handwriting

Spelling

• Spelling helps your meaning be to be clear

• Use the space provided to record the correct spelling of tricky words–Bias, biased–General–Historians, history–Opponent–Enemies