February 2010MissionNewsMen’s Shelter | Men’s Recovery Program | | Crisis Shelter for Women and Children

Women’s Recovery Program - Anna Ogden Hall | Youth Outreach | Thrift Stores | Motors

Sean Stevens, 40, was a career military man. He spent 17 years on active duty in the army, serving in many of the world’s hot spots – policing in Haiti, searching for abandoned mines in Ethiopia, peacekeeping in Kosovo, and interrogating prisoners in Iraq. He had reached the rank of E7 – sergeant first class – with top secret security clearance and had just returned to the United States after leading 93 men on a mission in Iraq when his

life exploded like one of those abandoned mines. While he had tried his best to ignore it, trouble had been lurking just below the surface for some time. When he and his wife, also a member of the military, married at 21, they already had twin girls. From the beginning, Sean said, he felt inadequate, unequipped and overwhelmed. He turned to alcohol as a way to escape the pressure and have fun. Then, for the next 20 years, it became his

Band of brothers. From Shakespeare to Stephen Ambrose, the term has been used to describe men in battle – the camaraderie built fighting side by side against a common enemy. Here, the term is used to describe a slightly different kind of brotherhood. Men in the Union Gospel Mission Freedom Bound recovery program are certainly fighting a battle against very real – albeit unseen – enemies, but the weapons, the goals and the methods have changed.

(continued on page 3)

Weapon #1: authentic friendship. Sean (center) and the men in his small group – Lester, Rob, Chris and Gerald – have become close friends. “We trust each other.”

HEART TO HEART | page 2

wounds created by relationship can only be healed by relationship. As long as the true self stays hidden, it cannot heal because God created us for relationship

– relationship with Him, relationship with each other. Coming out from behind the mask, however, means risking further injury. That’s why the Union Gospel Mission strives so hard to create a safe, healing environment for our guests. We try to make their first steps into the open as their true selves as positive as possible. Graduates from our program often speak of discovering for the first time what it means to be truly known and loved, of experiencing a sense of family. And then, after 18 months to two years, they leave that newfound community. Hopefully, during their stay they have been equipped with the skills and knowledge required to create new relationships, but we have observed that this transition can be difficult. I am excited to share with you a new program we are launching to facilitate this move from one community to another. It’s called our Aftercare Program, and our staff will be training mentors who can come alongside our graduates as they seek to rebuild their lives outside our shelters. In addition, we will be working with churches to help them create safe, accepting environments for people in recovery. Our desire is to deepen our partnership with the community as we continue to help men and women return to society as contributing members.

Quality relationships have shaped my life. From growing up with four brothers to active participation in athletics, camaraderie and team have had a huge impact on the man I am today. Throughout this newsletter, you will read about the significance of relationships in the work of life change taking place in this ministry. We have learned that homelessness and isolation tend to go hand in hand. The people who enter our shelters have been hurt in relationships, and so they withdraw in order to never be hurt again. They isolate. They hide behind masks. Sometimes those masks are meant to look intimidating so no one dare come near. Other times, the masks are quite attractive and approachable, but they are still masks – built to hide the true self, the wounded self. Here’s the catch – or what our treatment team calls “a double bind” – the

The Flip Side of Relationship

2010Annual Banquet

Impacting LivesImpacting LivesImpacting Lives

Phil AltmeyerExecutive Director

underwritten by

Friday, March 19 Lunch 12:00 | Dinner 6:30 Red Lion Hotel at the ParkMore information 509-535-8510Come celebrate the work of life transformationtaking place within the ministries of theUnion Gospel Mission.GUEST SPEAKER: Mel Jones Founder of Bethel Colony South rehabilitation program

BAND OF BROTHERS | page 3

best friend – the one he desired and sought after more than any other. Human friends were elusive. He feared people outside the military wouldn’t understand his experiences, and amongst his fellow soldiers, there was a bravado to be maintained – both because it was expected and because he wanted to advance in his career. Sean remembers being disturbed by the sight of pigs feeding on the bodies of gang victims in the slums of Haiti but having nowhere to go with that emotion: “I wasn’t going to go out and say, ‘Man, I’m having trouble today. I saw that pig eating those people, and it’s messing me up’ . . . It wasn’t manly. That wasn’t the military norm. You couldn’t feel bad. You couldn’t talk to anybody.” Alcohol helped him to forget and to cope . . . until alcohol itself became the problem. Sean had trouble seeing that at first. He lost his job, his family, and ended up at the Union Gospel Mission but didn’t consider himself an alcoholic. He had hit rock bottom and didn’t know he was there. Enter the brotherhood. Sean’s job at the Mission when he first came was helping to stock and organize the coolers. The men working alongside him spoke into his life: “Dude, you got a problem.” He said he was thinking about joining the recovery program, and one of them said, “What are you doing for the next 17 months? Ruining your life? Join the program. You’re not doing anything else.”

“This is the first place I’ve ever felt connected or had the family structure, you know, a bunch of brothers, and everybody actually loves you

and cares for who you really are.”

(cover story continued) Sean came to the Mission in September 2008, joined the recovery program in December and started phase one of his classes in February 2009. In April, just as he was beginning to make some progress, a mistake from his drunken past caught up with him. Two police officers came to the Mission and arrested Sean for failure to appear at a child support hearing in Maryland. He spent the next four months in a Maryland jail. His counselor and men from the Mission stayed in touch. After the charges were dismissed, he knew he wanted to come back and continue his recovery, but he didn’t have any money. Men from the Mission took up a collection and sent him enough for a bus ticket back to Spokane. “I knew I had to come back to change myself, and this is the first place I’ve ever felt connected or had the family structure, you know, a bunch of brothers, and everybody actually loves you and cares for who you really are. I could have had a million friends in the army or wherever, but nobody was close to me. I wasn’t going to tell anybody my struggles.” Being transparent is part of what builds the brotherhood at the Mission. Through small group therapy and a large-group self-evaluation process, men work through the thoughts and feelings behind their behavior. In Sean’s words: “You share your feelings with each other, and for the first time, you’re able to tell other guys what you’re thinking and what’s happened to you and stuff you’ve never been able to tell anybody before . . . and nobody’s going to use it against you. I can trust these people. We can all trust each other.” Sean is in phase three of the Freedom Bound recovery program. He hopes to go into military ministry when he finishes.

To see a video of Sean and his friends and learn more about the recovery process, visit our website:www.ugmspokane.org

THE SISTERHOOD | page 4

One of them came from prison. One was in rescue work herself at a mission in Seattle. Two were previously roommates and fellow drug addicts. Now, all four – Kim, Sue, Keri and Jessie – make up a tight-knit sisterhood in the Women’s Recovery Program at Anna Ogden Hall – encouraging, supporting and holding each other accountable on their road to recovery. Interestingly, the women said they’re not sure they would even be friends under different circumstances. Kim can be intense and loud. Keri likes quiet and time alone. Jessie is older than the others. Sue likes Harley Davidson motorcycles. Kim has an eight-year-old. Keri’s a grandmother. Their personal brokenness, however, draws them together. “We come from four entirely different corners,” Kim said. “But even with vastly different experiences, the healing hurts in the same way.” “We pray together a lot,” Jessie said – over courts dates and custody issues, over past abuse and loss, over children, grandchildren and the future. Sue and Keri were an invaluable support to Kim at the graveside of her sister who committed suicide.

“A lot of people are uncomfortable with each other’s grief,” Keri said, “and so they want to say something…but I think we’re all pretty good at just being present with each other, letting each other know it’s ok to be ourselves.” “This is the first time I’ve ever felt like there was somebody who actually spent time with me because they wanted to be with me,” Kim said, “not because of what I could give them or what I could do for them.” Sue added that she has learned how to be secure in the friendship even when she’s alone: “When I got here, it was discovered that I had huge abandonment issues.” She felt jealous and angry when she wasn’t included, but “these girls have come along and, as my sisters, have made me feel so comfortable that . . . even when I’m not with them, I don’t feel left out anymore.” The women stressed that their sisterhood is not picture-perfect. “It’s sloppy and messy and ugly sometimes,” Keri said. But, then, it’s not about being perfect. It’s about being honest and real and standing alongside each other through it all. ●

“We come from four entirely different corners,” Kim said. “But even with vastly different experiences,

the healing hurts in the same way.”

Seated from left: Kim, Jessie and Keri

UGM UPDATES | page 5

MINISTRY NEEDSFebruary 2010

Thank You!

Feb. 9 – Volunteer Orientation, 6 p.m. at Union Gospel Mission Call to register 509-535-8510. Feb. 18 – Volunteer Orientation, 10 a.m. at Union Gospel Mission Call to register 509-535-8510.Feb. 21 – Open House, 11:30 a.m. at Union Gospel MissionFeb. 23 – Volunteer Orientation, 6 p.m. at Anna Ogden Hall Call to register 509-535-8510.Mar. 6 – Life Languages Seminar/Marriage, 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. at UGMMar. 15 – Women’s Auxiliary, 1 p.m. at Union Gospel MissionMar. 19 – Annual Banquet, “Impacting Lives” at Red Lion Hotel at the ParkApril 4 – Easter Sunrise Service, 7 a.m. at Union Gospel Mission

Donations can be dropped off atthe Mission, 1224 E Trent Ave.

Daily from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m.

UpcomingEvents

work bootsmen’s athletic shoescough drops & cold medicine

herbs & spicescoffeesliced cheese & lunch meatsham & beefsalad dressing

toilet papertissueslarge garbage bagsdrain cleanerdishwasher detergentlaundry suppliestowel setslight bulbs

pajamasbrushes & hair productspull-upsbras & underwear (large sizes)razors & shaving geljournals

Women & Children:

Food Items:

General:

URGENT:

The bicycle shop, 2 Wheel Transit, located at 1405 W. 1st Avenue, is partnering with the Union Gospel

Mission in a creative way. If you have an unused bicycle cluttering your garage, you can take it to 2 Wheel Transit and receive an in-store credit ranging from $25 to $100 toward the purchase of a new bicycle. Meanwhile, the technicians at 2 Wheel Transit will assess the bike for safety and serviceability, make needed repairs, and transport the bikes to the Union Gospel Mission for the use of the guests at our shelters. Owner Geoff Forshag expressed his desire to help individuals and families struggling to make ends meet: “I have seen the impact a sound bicycle can have in helping people meet their transportation needs in an affordable way.” Call the Mission at 509-535-8510 or 2 Wheel Transit at 509-747-2231 for more information. Program ends February 28.

CASH FOR CLUNKERSBike

You are invited for lunch anda tour of the Men’s Shelter

FEBRUARY 2111:30 a.m. - 3:00 p.m.

1224 E Trent Ave. Spokane509-535-8510

Are you and your spouse speaking the same language?

Are you and your spouse speaking the same language?

Come find out at this special marriage version of ourLife Languages Seminar.

Trained facilitators, Jerry and Kari Reese,will help you improve your relationship

through better communication.Call 509-535-8510 to register or for more information.

Saturday, March 6, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.Union Gospel Mission 1224 E Trent Avenue

OPEN HOUSE

MEMORIALS | page 6

In Memory of: The Gift of:Ted Allen: Evelyn AllenEarline & Harry Altmeyer: Nellie & William Heaton, Walt & Marlene ArthurDell Anderson: Nathan & Joanne MarksDelbert Anderson: Merlin & Catherine AndersonThomas Anderson: Katherine AndersonLarry Arneson: Les ArnesonGrace Arthur: Shirley & Denny CorneliusDale Barbour: Jean BarbourHoward Bass, Jr.: Howard & Beverly BassArt B.: Harry BattyBob Barnett: Georgia UnderdahlKen Batton: Georgie BattonTroy Bennett: William BennettStuart & Marion Benshoof: Carol Haskell-ByronLarry Benzel: Allie BenzelDon Bielenberg: Alice BielenbergGary Bird: Christine HobbsJimmie Blanton: Ron & Carla ThurlowTom Blossom: Robert & Lois Strader, Quality Life Health Center, Inc., Kathleen & Loren Miller, Dorothy MorseVivian Brookman: AnonymousMollie Francis Brown: E. Louise Elkins Ellis Stephen Brown: Mr. & Mrs. Glen M Anyan, Marilyn MourerScott Brosvik: Jeannette BrosvikDon Bunge: Jane BungeBill Buckley: Opal BuckleyElmer Buck: Fred & Edna WilcoxArlin Blair: Lawrence McGee, William & Esther Richter,John & Erna Brennan: Kevin & Teresa BrennanRobert Caldwell: Jeanette CaldwellClarence & Mary Campbell: Patricia CampbellBealah M. Clarke: Tom & Lonni HillmanMarjorie Carkuff: Beverly MillsapHelen Carlson: Esther & Alfred SchulzLloyd Carlson: Sue GilmanDelbert Carstens: Kathleen CarstensMarlene Charneski: Margaret KernkampWally Christensen: Dale & Betty Savidge, Paul & Gail Eacker, Dorthea WeitzRudy Claassen: Dean & Freda MillerVic Close: Vernal Mackie-TrusteeDonald Collin: JoMarie CollinKen Colling: Shirley CollingBetty & Clint Corliss: Anne C. MorrisSusan Cosby: Jay& Kathy ScruppsMax Davis: Robert DavisHulda Decker: Kevin & Teresa BrennanDave DeGraaf: Sandy RamseyBarbara Dowd: John DowdJon Driver: Fred & Edna WilcoxGeri Eastburg: Lynn FallowsKatherine Eckhart: Gordon PetersonForence Eddy: Steve & Barbara SmithKeith Ehlenfeldt: William EhlenfeldtEllen Emerson: Lois HodgsonDavid Emerson: Mike GelhausDusty Etzrviler: Dr. & Mrs. I Blake McKinleyJohn Patrick Fahey:Rob & Kate SorensenCharles Falconer, Sr.: Doris & DwayneBetty Fennen: Dustin & Monika StumJack Fischer: Shirley FischerMark, Ron & Jerry Foote: Batrice FooteMy Father: Thersia ForsythWilliam Forsgreen: Rosemarie PhillipsDorothy Friedly: Duane & Billie WidmanHarry Fries: James & Kathleen Kroll, Esther Kroll Don Gelhaus: Genevieve GelhausRon Gerkensmeyer: David & Jody PeelgrenRobert Goggin: Katherine Goggin

GIVEn TO UnIOn GOSPEL MISSIOn MInISTRIES nOVEMBER 12, 2009 TO JAnUARY 8, 2010Dr Donald M. Gumprecht: W Wray & Antoinette WilsonLynn Gould: Paul & Vicki GreifR.J. “Speedy” Gunsaulis: Clarence & Barbara BennettPhylis Hansen: Elaine BottsBlaine L. Hanbaugh: Kristin MegyJune Heimbigner: Gary Heimbigner, Craig HeimbignerClark Heger: Karl & Jean KolbDiane Hereford: L. McKayAllen Hibbard: Lorraine LarsonMarie Hinkelmann: Tom & Nancy PurcellJohn Hocking: James & Pauline AndersonWayne Hodges: L. McKayClif & Jackie Holm: Apryl WraspirLyle Honn: James & Kathleen KrollCory Hubbard: AnonymousHelen Inman: Georgia UnderdahlRobert & Vivian Irons: Viola MartinBuzz Irvin: Evelyn IrvinBarb Iwai: Vicki LiljenbergLeslie & Alene Jackson: Fracine & Richard CutlerVernon ‘Tootie’ James: Margery Kristin, Bob & Mary Nuttleman, Helen & James WeddleDavid James: Lori VeitenheimerEmile Rober Jannucci: Oscar & Gaye OscarsonOrion Johnson: Steven & Janice BootsThelma & Carl Johnson: Jo Ann Workland StanleyRon Kammeyer: Warren & Kaye LarsonJerry Kapelke: Tom & Beverly Forkner, Griff & Linda Griffith, Helen AlbrechtKathleen Kendall: Richard KendallPat Kendall: Joy Ann DeerheimLinda Kendrick: Jack KenddrickBetty Kent: Bob & Jeanne DaultAlbert & Anne Kiefer: Patricia SeverudBill & Lurane Kortness: AnonymousHarvey Kragt: Dean & Freda MillerErma Jean Krueger: Margarete Hill, Ann Ensley, Lois Abegglen, Mary Lou Belll, Dean & Freda Miller, Clarita LiddleCharles “Chuck” King: James Sundahl, James Carson, Dorothy Morse, Warren & Kaye Larson, Ann & Shari Wint, Carole BehlCliff & Laurie Lawerence & Family: AnonymousJewel Odell Lebow: Daryl & Jan ZiemerCarl Lemon: Dean & Freda MillerAudrey “Toots” Leonard: Jim & Ralene FryMarilyn Lystad: Ray & Elaine Lukes, Melvin & Grace Carlson, Christ Lutheran ChurchJennie MacDonald: Roald Tangvald, Donna & Donald HolmFrancis “Frank” Madden: Lee & Judy LeflerJames Maguire: Janet MaguireLyle & Jennifer Manser: Regina ManserGwen Martin: Georgia UnderdahlOur Parents: Tom & Claudia MayRobert McHoes: David & Phyllis Cothran, Laura McHoesJohn T McCauley: Juanita McCauleyMary & Lisa McClung: Cynthia & Richard EnglemanJanet McIntyre: James & Betty McIntyreGem Medina: The EastepsRobert McNeilly: Janice D McNeillyRondaele Mierer: WilkanasDaniel Mitchell: Shirley MitchellSteven Morris: Anne C. MorrisBabe Morrison: Bonnie MorrisonBob Mortimer: L. McKayWilbur Morton: Wilco- Supercut Bandsaw Co., Inc.

Daphne Motz: EM BottsMichael George Murdock: Betty TaylorNadine: Lorraine SchmeerMary Newbern: Carmen, Leila, Margaret Ann & AaronKenneth R. Newton: Beverly NewtonRoy Nichols: Lois Abbott, Curt & Patricia Blakesley, Margie AustinGeorgia Niemi: Yvonne HayesJoan Nortell: Laraine & Douglas NortellEarnest & Lola O’berg: Thomas WetherholtMary Lou O’ Donnell RN: W Wray & Antoinette WilsonVelm Jo Cardter O’Roarck: Jim & Connie Taylor, Wayne & Cheryl Evans, Ruth S. Young, Lorna StevensonRichard Paul: Mary Jane KrupkeSteve Pontius: Robert & Marilyn PontiusRobert A. Pitney: Lydia & Monica PitneyWayne Powel: Robert & Donna HaasRev. Luther M. Powell: Richard PowellJim & Jane Potesky: John & Joann SimmonsLarry Powers: Jay & Betty PowersWilliam Quayle: Betty L QuayleSister Cecelia: Richard QuirkCarl Radanovsky: Pearl RadanovskyWarren Reeves, Sr: Jay& Kathy ScruppsTed Rice: Gordon PetersonJohn & Bev Richard: Barry & Sharon LivengoodBob & Vicki Richards & Family: AnonymousWinnie Richards: Robert RichardsLois Riddle: Mrs. Robert ZoyerConrad “Robbie” Roberts: Mary Jane KrupkeEsther Robinson: E. Louise Elkins EllisLeslie Robinson: George & Nadine LehmanOur Son David Ross: James & Willma RossJohn Rosand: Michele & Larry MoranArt Rudolph: Glenn& Peggy Yingling, John & Betty Tunison, Hal & Joanne HalvorsonJoe & Rose Ruscio: Elizabeth RuscioRuss & Edith Sames: AnonymousRuss Sames Jr. & Family: AnonymousMarian Samuels: Julie Scheffler, Lynn SamuelsElda Schluneger: Larry & Joann Wood, Harold S. Herman, Dean & Freda MillerMargaret Schmauder: William & Michelle LiljeGene B Schur Sr.: Cheryl JohnstonHenry & Alice Schrader” Dennis & Patricia RiegelJulia Shefer & Family: AnonymousRay Shefer & Family: Anonymous Clarence Sheldon: June SheldonEve Sires: L. McKayWayne Slonaker: Dean & Freda MillerFrancis Smith: Allene HenryGuy Robert Smith: Gail & Steven SmithJeff Smith: Jeanette SmithMargaret Stapleton: Lynn & Brian StapletonGloria Staley: Tom & Lonni HillmanDan Stark: Melvin & Joyce ChristopherDon St. John: Shirley St. JohnMelinda St. John: L. McKayAl & Bernie Stagman: Peter & Kathy StrahmSophia Stoltz: Susannah StoltzSuess: Marc & Gail LangeKatie Summers: Alyce and Lea DurheimEyzra & Rodney Swope: Sandra GeierBruce Tainio: John & Shirley McLean, Fred & Edna Wilcox, Gary AkslandLydia Tipke: Larry & Peggy LewisAlma Turnidge: Carol UppJohn Ulmer: Jessica UlmerJohn & Irene Van KlavevenDaniel Votava: Ruth, Tyler & BlairDon Wacker: Don & Effie Frick

Darroll Waller: Darlene WallerRobert Walsh: Geraldine WalshTyler Ward: Evelyn RussellEd Walters: Michael & Betty CronkJordan Watson: C.J. & Betty WatsonMaurice Weishaar: Betty SmithJohn & Margaret Wetherholt: Thomas WetherholtNick Wilcox: Grandpa & Grandma WilcoxRichard “Dick” Williams: L. Esther WilliamsJoel R. Wilson: Guy & Gail SmithDr. & Mrs. Charles R. Wolfe: Michael & Lisa WolfeJohn Yoshikawa: Karol SaitoVirgil Zier: Barbara ZierIn Honor of: The Gift of:Chris Babcock: Pam WeigandDon & Melba Barton: Karen & Jim Collier, Andrea CrumplerBarry Bergau: Terry & Debbi MontgomeryAshley & Tony Byrne: Bernadette SomersRoger Elber: Wes & Joy HughesEmployee of AgForestry Leadership: David RoseleipDanielle, Joel & Micah Estelle: Estelle WalterRita Figlenski: Pam WeigandA.A. “Tony” Gasperino: Jim & Lisa StackLoren & Beth Guske & Family: Katie McCallumChristine Kennedy & Wm Hammersky: Colleen KennedyMitch Graves: John LyonsFred & Dianne Jacot: Sam & Donna JacotDebbie Jennings: Pam WeigandPenelope Klaue: Jolie JensenLisa Ladyman: Harold a& Mary Ann LadymanWarren & Joyce Lashua: Evelyn & Wayne RussellMerv Lewis: James CooperTom & Jackie Lyons: Suzanne BehlaMark Magee: Laurel MageeCraig Leone: Paula McGuireNancy Mason: Edwin Mason Tom & Judy Macf: Duane & Marilyn UllelandDarrell & Rita Miller: Laura MillerBetty & John Milton: Sam & Donna JacotSteve Monek: Michael MonekKaren Morley: Pam WeigandDorothy Morse: Anita AllenJesus Christ of Nazareth: Roman FedinJerry & Anna McGlade: Brenda ChasePixie: Kay & JohnThomas Plumb: Judith PlumbPatrick Shea: David NobleRicki Family: The Rice FamilyJoann Roberts: Robert PrestonAmanda Russo: Karen & William MaharAdam Schuller: Mark SchullerStaff at Christ Lutheran Church: Duane & Marilyn UllelandThe Simonds Family: Jae HamShar: Pam WeigandDonna Smith: Pam WeigandThe Smith Family: Charlotte SmithDick & Yvonne Snell: James ThompsonLanny Stolp: Amber BrownNelda Sanford: JoanneSpokane City: Dorieann BishopRobert Strader: Janet Rose ReaCindy & Ray Thornton: Lory WilliamsJudy Tibesar: Joelle BradleyBertha J Tuttle: John C. TuttleEileen Wascisin: Pam WeigandVicki Nostrat Whipple: Thomas & Barbara GaverCurt & Winnie Woodard: Tim & Janice FarmerJessica Woodley: Edythe BenjaminHoward Zehm: Janet Wright