Fathering and Testosterone(30 slides)

Creatively compiled by dr. michael farnworth

Fathering and lip service

• Fathering is one of those institutions of the culture that is filled with hypocrisy and deceptive slogans.

• It has only been recently that we even have talked about the importance of fathers in our culture.

• And the talk is far removed from masculine behavior.

The Arrest

(door bell rings - door opens)

Wife: Yes?Police: Lady, we pick up this guy hangin’ around your house.

Father: Officer, this is ridiculous. This is my own house.Police: That right lady?

Wife: The brown suit looks familiar.Father: Myra, this is not a joke, I…

Police: Any of you kids recognize this guy?Father: Tell the nice policeman who I am Georgy.

Jeffery: I’m Jeffery.Police: OK let’s go.

Father: But wait. I can explain. It’s all a mistake. (fade out)

Announcer: Ever get the feeling you’re not spending enough time with your family?

There was a study done once…

• That asked junior high boys to keep track of the time they spent with their fathers over a two week period.

• The results showed an average of 7 and a 1/2 minutes of father-son togetherness.

• Fathering is simply not valued as a masculine activity, not withstanding our rhetoric.

The issue…

• The issue is work. • Men typically get their egos defined and fed by the things

that happen at work. • Men have to compete and they are often forced into

spending more time and effort that they may even want.

• Most of us grew up with out our fathers, simply because they were not there and even when they were they were present they were often distracted by other concerns or activities.

Where are our priorities?

• We love to say that family comes first but that is only in an ambiguous non literal sort of way.

• Typically work comes first, then church or social concerns, or leisure pursuits and then the family.

There are only so many hours in a week…

• 168 total• 40-45 hours at work• 56 hours of sleep• 21 hours for meals, eating and sitting around• 7 hours a week at church and church callings/meetings• 10 hours commuting/travel/errands• 5 hours yard, car, house, maintenance• 6 hours exercising, sports, recreation, etc.• 10 hours Miscellaneous, T.V., socializing, reading• Leaving around 8-10 hours for family, marriage, children

Can you say workaholic?

• Many men in this society become addicted to the very process of work that make them feel good and give them highs about who they are and what they can accomplish.

• There are many men who put in 60, 70, and 80 hour work weeks all in the name of succeeding and supporting their families.

An example:

Steele, who will graduate in May, juggles family, work, school, and church responsibilities, all with the cool

headedness of a veteran. He works 40 hours a week for Boise Cascade, arriving at 5:30 a.m. most days, is a full

time student at Boise Sate and serves as president of the Boise State University Human Resources Association. He is also active and serves in his local church to the tune of

10-12 hours a week. He’s serving 10 hours a week internship at Idaho Housing and Finance Association and

is also a husband and a father of one young child and he’s only 26 years old. “I do better when I’m busy,” this

Rexburg native and Ricks College graduate says modestly.

Fatherhood training…

• Men are not socialized to value or prepare to be fathers.

• It is just assumed they will be available to support their families and besides that not much else is expected in the family arena.

• Many men have no clue as to what they are suppose to do even if they want to be involved.

• We learn how to father or how not to father, from our own fathers, the good and the bad.

Fathers that are hostile…

• I have talked to many people that didn’t want there fathers around even when they were around.

• He would just get on my back about laying around or something.

• I hated it when he came home he always made us work.

• He would just yell or get mad at somebody, it was better when he wasn’t around.

In this culture men, fathers are not important and of value to the family!

I don’t hold out much hope of the culture or society changing that much although it has gotten much better and healthier that our Fathers and

Grandfathers generations.

You can make it better in your family if you have the courage to live life with integrity and putting your money where your mouth is, so to speak.

Please read:

To Steal a Father

by michael farnworth

What is Testosterone Poisoning?

Testosterone…the following information is take from the article by Andrew Sullivan, The He Hormone, The New York Times Magazine

• Testosterone has been referred to as the ‘He’ Hormone.

• Men produce 10-20 times more of it than females.

• It is a chemical closely related to cholesterol and was first isolated by a Dutch scientist in 1935.

• The levels of testosterone starts decreasing around 25 years of age.

• Both men and women create testosterone naturally: men via the testicles and women via the ovaries.

• Testosterone effects changes in the body and the brain in both males and females.

• It has an anti-depressant effect in both males and females.

• Both men and women have base line levels of testosterone and only in cases of hormonal imbalance will females exceed male base line levels.

• Testosterone levels in both sexes can be influenced and changed by the environment (i.e. military, combative, competitive environments raises the level of testosterone).

An interesting biological fact…

• At conception, every embryo is female and unless hormonally altered will remain so.

• You need testosterone to turn a fetus with a Y chromosome into a real boy.

• Males experience a flood of testosterone two times in their lives six weeks after conception and puberty.

• Without testosterone, humans would always revert to the default sex, which is female.

The effects of testosterone are systemic… it affects the whole.

• The behavioral traits associated with testosterone are: energy, self confidence, competitiveness, tenacity, strength, sexual drive, and restlessness.

• It has been compared to gas in an engine that it revs you up.

• It has also been associated with dominance in social settings and risk taking in dangerous settings in business, sexual, military and criminal.

The ‘down side’ of testosterone…

• Testosterone seems to have a suppressant effect upon the immune system.

• It can lead to baldness, heart disease and a greater susceptibility to infectious diseases.

• There is a higher rate of prostate cancer among blacks which have a higher rate of testosterone (3-19%) than whites.

• It can also lead to aggression and the risks of involvement that lead to injury or death.

The medical uses of testosterone:

• Testosterone has been used for: HIV victims to help restore their energy, weight, affect and appetite.

• It has been used in females for hormone replacement therapy after menopause.

• It is used in gender neutrality cases where the gender of the child is ambiguous.

• It is also used in recreational situations for body builders.

• It is used in sex change therapy to create or diminish secondary sexual characteristics.

The social implications…

• If the levels of testosterone impact the body and mind of males and females to such an extent what are the implications of changing ‘T’ levels for various, non medical purposes like for business advantage, competitive sports advantage, military advantage for females serving in combat, or limiting its production in violent males, rapists, sexual predators and the like?

How much of our human (gender) behaviors are a function of not only this, but the many other hormones flowing through our bodies?

What is the essence and foundations of maleness and femaleness when it can be so easily manipulated in the medical fields?

Competition, friendship and men.

An interesting phenomenon…

• Many men do not nurture friendships as they grow older. • It is very common for older men to have acquaintances but no

close friends.

• Often men have friendships with other family members such as fathers, brothers, or sons.

Men in general are socialized to keep things to themselves and will often not develop their friendships with other men

as they age because it is not expected and because of competition and expected vulnerability if they share too

much.

There is the phenomenon of drinking buddies, sport buddies and the like.

I think it is rather sad for men in general to be so shut down and removed from their inner life.

Many do not have close friends that they can share their inner most feelings and fears with (won’t because the threat of

vulnerability is real) and many suffer from a depression malaise that colors much of what they do or don’t do in life.

Many settle in front of the TV and live out a superficial vicarious life devoid of passion and energy.

Many men, after they retire, begin to awaken to what may have been more important than their profession.

They desire to connect with their children who are now grown and gone.

But often to no avail.

The role of grandpa can open up an exploration to the nurturance, love and involvement that many men pass up with

their own children.

These same men can be a great relationship with their children’s children and the fun they receive from their grand

children can be a great reward.

It changes them for the good.

the end