FAST LOVE

by

James Lloyd, Alex Erting-Haynes, and Jak Cochrane

CHARACTERS

JOHN M. HEATS - protagonist character who goes speed dating - an average man who has been content in life up until now. He is averagely confident and dresses not-too-casual but never too smart.

KEITH BELLOWS - flamboyant speed dating manager - dresses extravagantly with bright colours and walks with big and confident strides.

MOLLY - first speed date for JOHN - she is fairly average but dresses as if she lives in five different decades.

HOLLY - second speed date for JOHN - she is attractive, maybe a little too attractive for JOHN, and this makes him feel very awkward. She has long blonde hair and wears a pretty red short dress and has a little bit too much make-up on, though not overly excessive. She wears black high heels.

POLLY - third speed date for JOHN - she is a mature woman, in her mid 60's, who dresses as if she thinks she can still pull 20 year old students at the local night club.

DOLLY - fourth speed date for JOHN – she is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. A single mother with 3 kids in a house that’s seen better days. She has turned to speed dating in a desperate attempt to find someone to share her work-load.

DAVE - fifth speed date for JOHN - DAVE is a homosexual man, who wears motorbike leathers and a red bandana. He is quite flirtatious, often leaning forward to engage in conversations. JOHN is significantly awkward around him.

SYNOPSIS

JOHN M. HEATS (JOHN) is a lonely man looking for love. He ventures out one night to a speed dating session. Upon entering, he is reluctant - almost walking out - but KEITH BELLOWS, floor manager, draws him back in. During his time there, JOHN meets many diverse characters. However, he finds himself still without true love. £20 down, he returns home to his collection of cardboard cutouts of himself [This will act as our narrative twist to end the short film].

EXT. OUTSIDE JOHN’S HOUSE – EVENINGJOHN has just left his house and is walking to the speed dating venue. He looks slightly forlorn and as though something is missing, though this emotion shouldn’t be projected to the extreme. A non-diegetic score – with an eerie piano feel – is playing. At this point, still titles are fading in and out, displaying cast and crew names.

JOHN[Voice-over]

[Slightly slow and thoughtful] I’ve never been the sort of man to do something like this. To be fair, I’ve always been a bit cynical about the idea. Truth is, I’ve never felt the need to. It’s just

another thing I could do without. I’m going to pay money to participate in a load of shit. An abstract idea personified by

physical acts and gestures. Being 33 is, an interesting age: half-way between nightclub sensation and living with 7 cats. That’s what

it feels like anyway.

JOHN now has the speed dating venue in sight.

JOHN[Voice-over]

[With a hint of anxiousness] Right, this must be it.

EXT. OUTSIDE SPEED DATING HALL - EVENING JOHN approaches the speed dating hall. He reaches for the door handle, and moves into the building.

INT. SPEED DATING HALL – EVENING

Realising the event has already begun, he checks his watch to see he is two minutes late. He walks forward two steps before KEITH BELLOWS approaches him.

KEITH[Enthusiastically] Ah hello there! My name is Keith. I assume you’re here for the speed dating... or as we like to call it: ‘Spating’.

[Turns round to address speed daters] Don’t we girls?

No response.

KEITH[Turns back to JOHN] Ah, we do.

JOHN looks hesitant and considers bluffing to KEITH he’s in the wrong building.

JOHN[Reluctantly] Yeah... yeah I am, yeah.

KEITH

[In a high voice] Fabulous. [Normal voice] We’ll get you seated right away at a spare table, or a spable [he chuckles to himself and

quickly glances over his shoulder].

JOHN remains a little reluctant.

KEITH Okay then, right this way.

KEITH rings the bell. JOHN is shown over to a table.KEITH

[Subtly] Oh and I’ll need one of those beautiful £20 notes if you don’t mind.

John digs into his pocket. The instant he waves it to KEITH, KEITH snatches it off him and places it under his hat.

KEITH (CONT’D)[Enthusiastically] Thank you.

JOHN is seated opposite Molly.

MOLLY[Upbeat] Hello. Hi. This is exciting isn’t it?

JOHN[Matter of fact attitude] I’m an engineer. And a homeowner.

MOLLY[Negatively surprised] Well that’s great. How-

JOHN[Interrupts] When I was younger I always thought I’d be a pilot.

Never quite worked out though.

MOLLYRight. So what hobbies do you have?

JOHN[Thoughtful] Well I’m quite interested in art you see.

MOLLY

[Eagerly] Ah brilliant me too-

JOHN[Stubbornly] Hang on, I haven’t finished. But I’m more into,

portraits.

Molly looks awkwardly at him.

Switch to John’s second date, HOLLY.

JOHN[Subtly laughing] She’s a bit, scary, isn’t she?

HOLLY[Confused] Who... that one over there? [Points]

JOHNYeah, yeah. [Jokingly] This room is full of them.

HOLLYI hope I’m not one of them.

JOHNOh no, you’re extremely pretty.

HOLLY[Smugly] Well, many people do say so.

John smiles.There is a short awkward pause.

JOHNI’m an engineer.

HOLLYThat’s great. I work in an office. I hate it.

JOHNSo you’re the people that ring me up about my PPI, are you?

HOLLY[Laughs] No, I hate those people.

JOHNYou seem to hate a lot of things.

Switch to John’s third date, POLLY.

POLLY[Leaning in] You alright there sweetheart.

JOHN looks mildly uncomfortable.

JOHN

I am, I am. And how are you?

POLLYOh I’m just fine, my love.

POLLY attempts to rest her palm of JOHN’s hand, but he pulls back just in time.

JOHNEnjoying yourself?

POLLY[Grinning] Yeah, very much.

POLLY can tell JOHN isn’t too keen.

POLLYSo, what do you do for a living?

JOHNI’m an engineer.

POLLY[Suggestively] So you’ve got nice strong arms then?

JOHNI have yes.

POLLYI do like a man with strong arms.

Switch to John’s fourth date, DOLLY.

Within seconds of sitting down, Dolly immediately starts the conversation.

DOLLYI’m Dolly.

She stands up and reaches out her hand to accept a handshake.

JOHN[Taken-back by her abruptness] John.

DOLLY[Quickly] So have you come speed dating before?

JOHNNo. This is my first time.

DOLLYOh good.

DOLLY is anxiously fidgeting and playing with her hair.

DOLLY (CONT’D)So what are you into?

JOHNWell to be quite honest, I’m kind of into you.

DOLLY is uplifted by this, and stares into JOHN’s eyes. JOHN realises that what he said may be a little forward.

JOHN[Thinking on his feet] Uhh... I’m an engineer.

DOLLY[Excited] An engineer? So you can fix things?

JOHN[Smugly] I suppose I can.

DOLLYThis is so good!

JOHN