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Transcript of Fast Forward to the Past
“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
FAST FORWARD
TO THE
PAST
1 Copyright MMXII – Max’s Scout Services & Communications, LLC – Latest draft – 9/26/12 –
D. A. D. Publishing & Associates
All Rights Reserved
1
“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
List of Characters
Character’s names / Ideal Actress or Actor to Play the Part:
MARGARET / MAGGIE, Bunny’s best friend / Charlie Thereon’
BERNADETTE / BUNNY, Maggie’s best friend / Scarlett Johansson
EVE / EVA, Newest best dormitory friend / Michelle Williams
JACKSON / JACKO, Latino who befriends the co-eds / James Franco
TRIXIE, Hometown college-aged girl not in college / Ellen Page / Kristin Weig or Victoria Jackson
BABE, townie woman with multiple personalities / Emma Stone
QUEEG, undiagnosed “lunatic” who may have a dependency disorder / Johnny Depp or Ryan Gossling
RALPHIE, man living in town with Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome / Kevin Kline
PENELOPE, young aspiring scientist with panic attacks / Jeaneane Garofalo or Catherine O’Hara
ZEKE, driver who appears repeatedly throughout the story offering the students a ride in a classic car of that time period / Jay Pharaoh
HOAGY CARMICHAEL, Infamous musician and composer who was born in Bloomington and received both a bachelor’s and law degree from I.U. / Billy Joel
2 Copyright MMXII – Max’s Scout Services & Communications, LLC – Latest draft – 9/26/12 –
D. A. D. Publishing & Associates
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2
“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
DOCTOR KINSEY, Nephew of Alfred Kinsey / Christopher Walken
DOCTOR DEAN, University Dean of Students / Robert DiNiro
GUY, man living in town with obsessive-compulsive disorder / Matt Damon or Mark Wahlberg
JAMES A. WOODBURN, Professor of Philosophy / Dustin Hoffman
DOLLY, mental health care worker / Lisa Lapinelli or Rita Rudner
DICK, 1960s protester / Steve Buschemi
DELILA, Woman of the Roaring 20s / Elizabeth Shue
TOOTSIE, Women of the 1890s / Susan Sarandon or Kim Basinger
GRETCHEN and VANESSA, Women of the 1930s and 1940s / Cameron Diaz and Uma Thurmann
ERIN and “Go Braghless”, female police officers / Kelly LeBrach and Edie Falco
BUTCH, p/ Danny DeVito or Joe Pesci
PHYLLIS and FEEDUS, cocktail waitresses at local bars / Rea Pearlman and Tracy Ullman
GERALDINE, woman of the 1980s / Penelope Cruz or Marisa Tomei
3 Copyright MMXII – Max’s Scout Services & Communications, LLC – Latest draft – 9/26/12 –
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
Opening Scene: A woman in a full dress is walking her dog.
She is wearing dark glasses under a dark bonnet.
01 FADE IN – Following the woman walking her dog.
Birds can be heard singing and chirping in the distance. All of a sudden, a crow crows aloud. There is no traffic of any kind.
02 FADE IN - After a few seconds, view approaching college girls.
Three college-age girls are chatting and giggling as they approach one another on the sidewalk.
After they gather, they approach the dog-walker.
A tall limestone church built around 1905 (1st Presbyterian at 6th and Lincoln) is in the background. It is a sunny, quiet morning.
03 FADE IN – Suddenly, the dog walker’s hat falls off and is blown by the wind to the co-eds while she bends over to pick up her dog’s poop.
The dog poops and while picking up the muck,
the woman’s fancy hat falls off, blows in a sudden zephyr,
and the college girls offer her help.
TRIXIE
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
Awe, sheeeeeeeez . . .
MAGGIE
I am sorry for your loss.
TRIXIE
Are you being serious? My dog losing his poop is really not a big deal to me.
(laughter)
Thank you for retrieving my hat. That trick of yours is not one that my dog knows how to do.
MAGGIE
Oh, wow, but this is such a beautiful hat. I would forever hate to lose this one if it was mine.
BUNNY
Did you get this hat in Bloomington?
TRIXIE
It is a long story – let’s cut to the chase. Yes, I found it at the Saturday Farmers Market.
04 FADE IN - A middle-aged professorial-looking gentleman is walking his dog and comes across Babe’s dog. He says good afternoon and smiles as his dog and Babe’s smell one another.
DOCTOR DEAN
Have a wonderful day, ladies.
5 Copyright MMXII – Max’s Scout Services & Communications, LLC – Latest draft – 9/26/12 –
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
(He continues to walk past the group of women.)
MAGGIE
Excuse my manners. May I introduce my friends?
TRIXIE
(looking at Bunny’s hat and blouse)
Oh, of course. I love this girl’s taste in clothes.
EVA
What is your name hun?
TRIXIE
I am Trixie and this is my dog Usher.
EVA
Pleased to meet you!
I am Eve. You met Maggie.
And this pretty girl is Bernadette.
BUNNY
You may call me Bunny, hunny.
(chuckles)
05 FADE OUT – From street scene (present day 2013)
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
06 FADE IN – To a wintertime scene (1907) – The gang finds themselves into Christmas scenes outside of First Christian and First Presbyterian Churches between Lincoln and Washington Streets; many new cars are getting stuck in mud, ice and snow.
SANTA CLAUS
Merry, Merry Christmas!
TOWN REVELER
I love that dear Baby Jesus!
CHORUS
Emmanuel, Emmanuel . . . O come, O come Emmanuel…
The students are bewildered. They think they have been in these familiar surroundings before and cannot understand the hundreds in costumes.
With time, they acclimate themselves and figure out the location of the corner of downtown Bloomington streets where they are.
This is the same place where Maggie, Bunny, Eve, and Trixie met. They are in wonderment with the Christmas decorations and festival.
They have no idea how they got to this street party, whether it is even reality, and if they might have been dreaming back into a date in history.
EVA
Do you know any of these people?
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
MAGGIE
I recognize Santa Claus.
BUNNY
Eva, Maggie, who drove us to this Christmas party?
MAGGIE
I don’t remember getting into any car.
Up drives a 1906 Model-T automobile. The Negro driver leans out the car window with a big, wide smile. There happens to be a white man to his right in the front seat.
ZEKE
Do you kids want a ride?
EVE
Well, ah . . .
(Eve takes a look at Ralphie sitting next to Zeke)
Are you the frat boys that drove us here?
MAGGIE
We don’t know your name.
Do you expect us to ride with strangers?
Who are you?
ZEKE
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
My name is Zeke.
And how did you know I was a fraternity brother?
BUNNY
I really think all the Greek letters on your new car give us some idea that you are a frat bro.
(there are nearly a dozen Greek letters
randomly stenciled on his car)
EVA
Zeke, do you work for us?
ZEKE
Naw, I work for The Man.
MAGGIE
What man?
ZEKE
Barry is the man. He wants me to keep an eye on you four college children?
BUNNY
What four of us?
There are only three of us.
Children! We aren’t little kids.
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
Who does the man think he is!?!
ZEKE
OK, settle down. It is all good.
Where is your #4?
Where is that dancing Latino buddy of yours?
BUNNY
Huh?
ZEKE
You know. Jacko.
MAGGIE
Jacko, who?
ZEKE
Don’t get me started.
Go get him. Jacko is over there building a snowman with those other women.
BUNNY
Wait a minute. We wouldn’t take a ride from a stranger.
Who is the dude seated next to you?
ZEKE
This is Ralphie. He checks out OK.
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
Say hello Ralphie.
RALPHIE
Hel-low (slowly).
MAGGIE
If Ralphie was a gentleman, he’d get out and open the doors for us.
RALPHIE
Hey, you got to wait another five minutes. Right now I am on my break time.
06 FADE IN - Jackson appears half-drunk with three ladies nicely dressed in Victorian winter garments attempting to build a snowman in front of the church.
EVE
Oh, no, not that weirdo!
ZEKE
Now I am confused.
Is his real name Weirdo or Jacko?
EVE
Both of those names apply to him.
ZEKE
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
You better go get him.
07 FADE IN – The local police assist the young co-eds pick up their male college friend from the snow. Jackson is carried to the back of the car.
TRIXIE
What took you sorority girls so long?
MAGGIE
Trixie, it is so good to see you!
EVE
What a delightful holiday party!
BABE
Come closer. It is about time. I’d like you to meet my friends Penelope and Babe.
EVE
From what year are everyone’s costumes?
BABE
1907.
(friendly hugs in the back seat)
MAGGIE
Maybe Eve will become a sorority sister but Bunny and I definitely are not sorority girl types.
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
BUNNY
Maggie and I flunked Greek rush during our freshman year. Is that really Trixie? Oh wow!
(hugs)
JACKSON
Hey, who is that fox?
(Jacko jumps, hits his head on the top of the door,
and scrambles himself into the community hug)
BABE
Hey cut it out. No piling on.
This is no football scrimmage.
08 FADE IN - Commotion in the back seat.
CHORUS
The time travelers sing Alvin and the Chipmunks’ Christmas song
(laughter)
09 FADE IN – The modern day blue jean and down coat dressed bunch singing silly from the back seat of a Model T get odd looks from the people of the ‘00s day.
10 FADE IN – Focus on the group in the back of the car.
PENELOPE
You gals, check out the newly constructed county courthouse on your left.
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
BUNNY
Babe, are you kidding me?
Are we dreaming of a White Christmas, or what?
MAGGIE
This feels real to me.
JACKO
Oh my God, Jesu’ Christi.
What is going on?
EVA
Jacko, if you are lucky, you might understand after you get over tomorrow’s hangover.
TRIXIE
No bones about it. Maggie, you are not dreaming but witnessing history live and in technicolor for real.
12 FADE IN - Zeke takes a drive a two blocks west over to the Courthouse Square and watch men build the new courthouse.
ZEKE
The building and monuments are being constructed exclusively out of locally-mined limestone.
PENELOPE
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
It is pretty funny that they bought the clock for the tower from two carpetbaggers from Kentucky, rather than buy a better quality clock from Switzerland.
TRIXIE
It seems they have been building it for more than ten years! The only cheap bit about the project is that timepiece built by the Kentuckians.
MAGGIE
Stop the car! I want to get out and see.
13 FADE IN - The County Courthouse of limestone is in-process of being erected with a clock on the town square.
The occupants of the car driven by
Zeke can overhear three limestone quarry working experts.
CONSTRUCTION WORKER #1
Ya ja. Mr. Dee, we got the dynamite all hooked up!
CONSTRUCTION WORKER #2
Hurry up, Mr. Dum-Dum. The boss says he wants this job done as soon as possible. We’ve got his written orders right here.
CONSTRUCTION WORKER #3
Hey, are you sure we’re supposed to tear down this limestone?
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
CONSTRUCTION WORKER #2
It must have imperfections.
CONSTRUCTION WORKER #1
Hey you guys! Step back.
CONSTRUCTION WORKER #2
Ready, one – two – three.
14 FADE IN - The clock tower, under construction, mistakenly gets blown to pieces by illiterate quarry work crew who were given the wrong address but was following the boss’ orders.
(colorful explosion of the clock tower)
BUNNY
Did you hear the names of the limestone workers?
MAGGIE
One was Dum-Dum and the other was Mr. Dee.
BUNNY
I imagine their first names were Tweedle!
TRIXIE
All right! Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.
(laughter)
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
15 FADE OUT – In order to get out of harm’s way, Babe and Trixie usher them to a safe area where the group is transported back to the TV room in Babe’s townhouse.
16 FADE IN – Sitting comfortably in Babe’s television room in front of the TV.
BABE
Settle down girls! Jackson, you too.
Act like an intelligent fool.
EVA
Acting like a fool shouldn’t be difficult at all for Jacko. Did you see him make a spectacle out of his head case at the church community Christmas party!
TRIXIE
We should not have left him there.
Have you ever learned what the law authorities did to people with his type of behavior during the Victorian Age?
EVA
Babe, you are far too nice to this guy.
I need to tell you about what he did to me last weekend.
BUNNY
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
Eve, Eva, let’s not get into all that old baggage.
Babe, are we dreaming or what?
MAGGIE
This sure feels real to me.
17 FADE-IN - While the women are talking, Jackson sneaks over to the DVD player
BABE
Had we left Jackson in front of those churches, he would have been left behind in 1907, might have ended up in hell in the future eternity, or could have died on the European battlefields during World War One.
JACKO
(“Earth-shaking” after he presses a button on the DVD player)
Oh my Goodness, Jesus’ Christi. What’s up?
EVA
Jacko, what did you do now?
BABE
I was just about to tell you about the time machine next to the TV.
Hang on you guys!
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
17 FADE IN – Focusing to the television on the final minute of the 1976 NCAA basketball championship game between I.U. and the Michigan Wolverines. After the end of the game, there are simultaneous celebrations all over the town of Bloomington.
Maggie and Bunny are in Nick’s tavern on Kirkwood Avenue.
Eve, Xavier, and Penelope are in Bear’s Place on East Third Street.
Babe, Jacko, Trixie, and Ralphie are in the Bluebird bar on Walnut Street.
After looking for one another in the crowds, (see, cell phones don’t work in 1976) Penelope, Babe, and Trixie gather the groups along Kirkwood Avenue where they are greeted by a bus driven by Zeke.
18 FADE OUT – As Maggie passes out.
18 FADE IN – The time travelers’ drop from a seated position, while falling down several feet, only to land on a hard marble floor. They begin to look around and find themselves in a busy classroom hallway.
The year is 1876 – James A. Woodburn’s and other debating clubs discuss the future issues of 19th century America and the world.
The gang notices that more than a dozen bearded men are in a crowd, speaking loudly following one man who is James Woodburn.
WOODBURN
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
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Gentlemen, please (the crowd gets quiet) please there will be plenty of time to debate that issue tomorrow.
“If this Union, is to be formed only by our people equally honoring those who fought for and those who fought against our country . . . then I can earnestly say let the day never come. Did the people of the United States, honor Benedict Arnold when they spoke of heroes of the Revolution?
I ask you rhetorically, why were Northerners and Southerners disposed to honor Robert E. Lee? And Jefferson Davis, indeed all Confederates, when “the great fact remains that they fought on the wrong side, against their country, against liberty and humanity.”
18 FADE OUT – Babe and Xavier usher the gang together to be transported back to the current day and year inside Babe’s TV room.
19 FADE IN – The gang is seated in Babe’s TV room. Many are out of breath.
MAGGIE
I am exhausted from all this time travel.
EVE
This is fabulous. So exciting!
BUNNY
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
No woofing now.
Babe, please tell us how this is happening to us.
BABE
That DVD player is programmed to take us around town and the college campus.
BUNNY
What year did we just come from?
PENELOPE
1976 and then 1876.
EVE
Huh, where are we going to go back in time to next?
MAGGIE
I am not going anywhere until I get some sleep.
RALPHIE
Right on.
BUNNY
Let’s pick a time to travel back to and meet up tomorrow.
QUEEG
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
I say let’s go to 1976, 1987, 1981, 1953, and 1940 when I. U. won the national college basketball championships.
MAGGIE
I am not sure I want to go anywhere with Ralphie.
EVE
I like the idea about checking out what this campus and town were like prior to World War Two.
JACKSON
I had so much fun in the snow before World War One. Let’s go to World War Two, then!
QUEEG
Are you nuts?
We aren’t going to fight in any war.
BABE
You guys go home and rest up.
Now, go, go, go. Get now!
20 FADE OUT – End of the day
21 FADE IN – There is a whirlwind of activity on the driveway of the I.U. Auditorium with the Showalter Foundation in the foreground; women are wearing gowns and men are dressed in suits, ties, and hats. There is a Gala prior to the showing of “Gone with the Wind.”
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
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Zeke drives up in a 1939 sedan and drops off
the group of time travelers.
Ralphie, dressed in a tuxedo opens up the
back door of a 1939 classic luxury car.
MAGGIE
Wow, this place is beautiful.
BUNNY
I am more than speechless, I am breathless.
PENELOPE
Welcome to the I.U. Auditorium’s gala premier opening of the classic movie “Gone with the Wind.”
BUNNY
That fountain with Venus in the middle is breathtaking!
JACKO
Everybody is really dressed to the tees’ and look at me.
EVE
Jacko, just stay out of trouble tonight.
BABE
You all better be careful what you wish for.
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
JACKSON
I wonder what Indiana University was like in the beginning.
All of sudden, the time travelers are sucked into
the wormhole and taken back in time.
22 FADE IN – The gang is transported back over 125 years to where the Indiana Theological Seminary was established during the 1820s near the present day Second and South Walnut Streets in the Southern Indiana town of Bloomington.
Other possible settings: Dr. Wylie house; examples of segregation in town; funnier times during the Industrial Revolution out at the Hoosier Hysteria Ranch of pre-teens south of campus.
23 FADE IN – Among the confusion, the gang of time travelers move another 30-years into the future. 1855 - Lightning strikes the original university building;
The gang is at first frightened by the severe weather they encounter. There is constant thunder and lightning
with a hard pouring rain.
MAGGIE
Hey, come get in here!
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
24 FADE IN - Maggie signals others over to a wooden structure. They make their way through a muddy ground where a large group of pigs live. Some fall down. Eve is one of them.
BUNNY
Awe, it smells terrible in here!
JACKSON
Doh!
What did you do now, Eve?
25 FADE IN - One of them bumps into a cow that “moos.”
Then the horses in this barn begin to stir and neigh.
EVE
What is going on in here?
MAGGIE
Settle down, we’re just in a barn with some domesticated animals.
EVE
Awe, but the stench!
PENELOPE
Quit sniveling.
It is 1855. We are not going to find any flush toilets around here.
BABE
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
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If you cannot handle it, get outside in this rainstorm.
Now it is raining harder.
EVE
What is a snivel anyway?
BUNNY
You do it all the time. You should know its definitions, etiology, and spelling front-ward and backward.
26 FADE IN - Suddenly a series of bolts of lightning strike the adjacent school buildings.
27 FADE IN - Everyone reacts by falling to the ground, covering their eyes, or putting their hands over their ears.
EVE
I have had enough.
Let’s go partying.
BABE
OK, let’s go to the great American 19th Century party – the end of the bloody Civil War.
28 FADE OUT – The group goes through a short worm-hole and ends up ten years into the future. 1865 –
29 FADE IN - Celebration at the conclusion of the Civil War [April 6, 1865]
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
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Scene: Farmers’ Market by the Monon B-Line train tracks.
BEARDED TOWNSMAN
Huzzah!
RALPHIE
Huzzah, what’s up?
BUNNY
During the American Revolution, soldiers used this exclamation word to cheer.
RALPHIE
I do not think we are in the 1770s man.
30 FADE IN - People are cheering as Xavier rides through the crowd atop two horses. He has one foot on one horse and another foot on the other while he stands holding the reins of both horses.
BUNNY
Is not that Xavier?
How can he do that?
MAGGIE
Is there is a circus in town?
EVE
Check out that huge steam engine!
31 FADE IN – Steam locomotive pulling into town.
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
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MAGGIE
I never heard of any redcoats driving trains into battle against the minutemen.
BUNNY
Look over there!
(pause)
MAGGIE
Aw, they are burning the confederate flag of Dixie.
QUEEG
Robert E. Lee has surrendered!
BUNNY
Long live the Union of the United States of America!
(cheers from the huge crowd)
MAGGIE
Hurray for the Indiana-educated President Abraham Lincoln!
The market place is filled with citizens celebrating and farmers selling produce and other goods in the marketplace adjacent to
the Monon Line Train Station.
DOCTOR DEAN
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“Fast Forward to the Past”
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This is the best part of a war… the end.
FARMER’S WIFE
I am just so happy. So full of it – elation!
All of my four sons are coming back home alive.
32 FADE OUT - A worm-hole sucks all the time travelers back to in front of the TV/DVD player at Babe’s.
33 FADE IN – Group discussion at Babe’s
MAGGIE
Awesome… that last trip was amazing!
BABE
The Civil War was no joke.
So many sons and brothers lost their lives over issues they could never resolve in Congress.
PENELOPE
Oh don’t get me started about all the political differences and ‘haggering’ in D.C.
JACKSON
But there ain’t anything worth shooting another American about.
EVE
Go tell the Marines!
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BUNNY
Wait a minute. That kind of stuff, justified on first and second amendment rights, could be rationalized by the perpetrator.
QUEEG
Take the dude on the 10-dollar bill. He wasn’t killed fighting over a woman, or money, or anything important. Alexander Hamilton lost a street duel with Aaron Burr over politics.
MAGGIE
Where are we going to next?
BABE
Jacko, back off from the DVD machine!
BUNNY
Let’s find a feel-easy leisure time of local Indiana history to visit.
RALPHIE
Here’s the ticket. Let’s trip out to the “Gay ‘90s”, the 1890s.
34 FADE OUT - Xavier presses a button on the VCR.
35 FADE IN - They are transported to the Indiana University campus that they do not recognize.
JACKO
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What’s up?
EVA
(looking around at the trees and natural foliage)
This is nice.
BUNNY
I am thirsty.
DOCTOR DEAN
There is a new water fountain in front of Owen Hall.
36 FADE IN - Up drives Zeke in an 1893 Haynes automobile made in Kokomo, Indiana.
ZEKE
Hey kids, do you want a ride today?
MAGGIE
No thanks Zeke. I think we better relax.
PENELOPE
Zeke, you too should take a day off.
What year are we now in?
ZEKE
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Miss Penelope, the man wants you guys to figure out that answer for yourselves.
BUNNY
Maggie means we need to seriously chill-lax today.
ZEKE
OK, but you better be careful. Sure as heck, I am not sticking around here. I hear Dunn Woods is haunted. Excuse me. I am spooked.
37 FADE IN - While Zeke races away, the time travelers look at one another.
1894 – Kirkwood Hall built out of Indiana limestone
on the present day location of the university campus.
Setting: Dunn Woods (with talking trees recite poetry)
38 FADE OUT – Babe, Trixie, and Penelope usher them to a safe area where the group is transported back to the TV room in Babe’s townhouse.
39 FADE IN – Focus on Babe and Trixie.
BABE
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If we are going to go any place today, we better hurry. Hurry up now. President Teddy Roosevelt is about ready to speak.
TRIXIE
Grab some Gatorade (or other energy drink), drink it up, and let’s go!
40 FADE IN - The group zips through the travel worm hole.
41 FADE IN - The gang is transported into a large crowd who are listening to Teddy Roosevelt speak outside the student union. It is the year 1912.
EVA
Bully! That really is Teddy Roosevelt.
XAVIER
You know what I think about politics?
Elephants and asses, both screwing the masses.
MAGGIE
I hope the two party system would go the way of the Titanic. Sink.
Teddy Roosevelt comes to town during his presidential campaign as the national leader of the progressive Bull Moose Party!
The group listens to his speech.
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PRESIDENT TEDDY ROOSEVELT
“Our opponents have said that we intend to legalize monopoly. Nonsense! They have legalized monopoly. At this moment the Standard Oil and Tobacco Trust monopolies are legalized; they are being carried on under the decree of the Supreme Court. Our proposal is really to break up monopoly.
Our proposal is to lay down certain requirements, and then to require the commerce commission - the industrial commission - to see that the trusts live up to those requirements. Our opponents have spoken as if we were going to let the commission declare what those requirements should be. Not at all! We are going to put the requirements in the law and then see that the commission requires them to obey that law.
And now, friends, what Mr. Woodrow Wilson has done about trusts in New Jersey would read precisely like a chapter describing snakes in Ireland, which ran: "There are no snakes in Ireland." Mr. Wilson has done precisely and exactly nothing about the trusts.
MAGGIE
What was that about St. Patrick?
RALPHIE
He chased all the snakes out of Ireland.
EVA
Maybe I’d like Ireland. I sure do hate snakes.
BUNNY
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Listen up you guys!
TEDDY ROOSEVELT
I tell you, and I told you at the beginning, I do not say anything on the stump that I do not believe. I do not say anything I do not know.
What I am about to say now I want you to understand. If I speak of Mr. Wilson I speak with no mind of bitterness. I merely want to discuss the difference of policy between the Progressive and the Democratic Party and to ask you to think for yourselves which party you will follow. I will say that, friends, because the Republican Party is beaten. Nobody needs to have any idea that anything can be done with the Republican Party.
When the bosses in control of the Republican Party, the Barneses and Penroses, last June stole the nomination and wrecked the Republican Party for good and all - I want to point out to you that nominally they stole that nomination from me, but it was really from you. They did not like me, and the longer they live the less cause they will have to like me.
Now, the Democratic Party in its platform and through the utterances of Mr. Wilson has distinctly committed itself to the old flintlock, muzzle-loaded doctrine of States' rights, and I have said distinctly we are for people's rights. We are for the rights of the people. If they can be obtained best through National Government, then we are for national rights. We, the Bull Moose Party, are for people's rights however it is necessary to secure them.
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BUNNY
Hurray!
(followed by cheers of the crowd that Bunny leads)
TEDDY ROOSEVELT
I ask you to look at our declaration and hear and read our platform about social and industrial justice and then, friends, vote for the Progressive ticket without regard to me, without regard to my personality, for only by voting for that platform can you be true to the cause of progress throughout this Union.”
(Loud cheers)
42 FADE IN – There are some hecklers from the Democratic and Republican Parties disturbing the gathering. The local police (acting like silly keystone cops) attempt to restrain the protesters.
43 FADE OUT – In order to get out of harm’s way, Babe and Ralphie usher them to a safe area where the group is transported to a more peaceful time.
44 FADE IN – It is 1926 – Famed musician Hoagy Carmichael is playing outside of Nick’s; Zeke drives up in a 1926 Chevrolet.
ZEKE
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Hey Jackson, do you and those college girls want to go for a ride?
BUNNY
Yay, let’s go check out the town.
ZEKE
What do you kids want to do?
JACKO
I’m guessing we are in the middle of the “Roaring Twenties.”
BABE
You ain’t kidding. Yep, it is 1926.
(Eve pinches Jackson)
JACKSON
Ow! Eva, don’t do me like that!
EVE
I was just checking if you are for real.
MAGGIE
I cannot remember when I last had a cocktail.
ZEKE
I know just the place. There is a nice speakeasy on the west side. Put your blindfolds on and we’ll
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go. You know we are under prohibition laws here, particularly on Sundays.
RALPHIE
You have to swear to tell no one about where the speakeasy is located.
BUNNY
I cannot swear. I’d fear the consequences.
EVE
I don’t care what day of the week it is.
I’ll take a beer for sure.
(The car drives away.)
Other potential scenes: Music in front of Nick’s under construction on Kirkwood Avenue; outside people’s homes and at IU Pres Bryan’s; . The “Roaring Twenties”
There is raucous music.
A couple flappers come greet the group as they arrive.
QUEEG
I am going to check out the backroom.
BUNNY
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Maggie, I’d like you to try that.
EVA
This dancing is unbelievable!
BUNNY
Check this out.
(As she tries to dance like the flappers)
MAGGIE
Come ‘on over. Try this, Bunny.
(She hands her a cocktail to drink)
BUNNY
Whew, that is strong.
EVA
Let me try it.
Cough, cough, cough
TRIXIE
What were you expecting?
That is the real thing – homemade hoosier moonshine.
45 FADE IN – Suddenly many policemen and FBI excise agents burst through the front door. It is a bust.
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46 FADE OUT – Trixie, Ralphie, and Queeg usher them to a safe area where the group is transported to a new point in time.
47 FADE IN - The students find themselves at the Starlite Drive-In. Zeke is in the driver’s seat.
ZEKE
Where would you like to go after the movie?
EVA
What kind of movie theatre is this?
PENELOPE
This is a drive-in. These types of places became very popular in the 1950s.
MAGGIE
Is that where we are? In the 1950s?
PENELOPE
Yes, this is 1953.
BUNNY
I am hungry. Let’s drive and get something to eat.
TRIXIE
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I know just the place in town close to campus. The restaurant recently opened. You will be surprised what you will experience.
48 FADE OUT – Zeke drives them off in his 1953 Oldsmobile. is a prosperous time in America. Locally significant results arose from scientific studies.
49 FADE IN – The classic automobile pulls up along Kirkwood Avenue that is a hub of activity. They get out and are seated at a table along the sidewalk outside of the Café Pizzaria.
BABE
Hello, I’d like you to meet Doctor James Watson.
BUNNY
How do you do Doctor?
BABE
Doctor Watson received his PhD in 1950 from I.U. and his latest work with Francis Crick led to the discovery of the double helical structure of DNA.
MAGGIE
It is wonderful to meet you Doctor Watson. DNA is part of every form of biological life. It is the fundamental basis of molecular genetics!
PENELOPE
May I introduce to you the distinguished Indiana professor Alfred Kinsey. He has just published the
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second half of the astounding Kinsey Report about human, both male and female, sexual behavior.
EVE
Oh my, I have read so much about your accomplishments! It is my pleasure to meet you.
MAGGIE
Dr. Kinsey, I have heard what Columbus did for the field of geography, you have done so for sexual behavior research!
BUNNY
What do we have here?
RALPHIE
It is a Stromboli sandwich. This is the latest and most popular menu item here at the Café Pizzaria.
XAVIER
The Strom has cheese, onions, marinara sauce, and Italian sausage on a fresh baked roll.
MAGGIE
It smells so great. I wish I was not on a diet.
JACKSON
I am on a light diet. I will finish it. I eat by daylight, lamplight, sunlight, and sometimes even by refrigerator light.
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(laughter)
MAGGIE
Who are these three tall good looking men?
BABE
Those are three members of the Indiana University 1953 national championship basketball team.
PENELOPE
Allow me to introduce them to you.
Meet Don Schlundt, Dick Farley, and Bob Leonard.
RALPHIE
The 1952-53 National Championship team was unbelievable!
XAVIER
Coach Branch McCracken’s 23 and 3 team was led by 3-time All American six-foot-nine Don Schlundt, guard 6-3 Bob Leonard, and 6-3 forward Dick Farley. They beat Kansas LSU, Notre Dame and DePaul in the tournament and became the champs.
JACKSON
I heard McCracken was one of the winningest coaches with 364 career wins.
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50 FADE OUT – Before anyone could take another bite from their Stromboli sandwich, the time travelers go through a worm hole to another place and time.
It is 1967 – A time of cultural change –
The football team goes to the Rose Bowl.
The scene is outside the Indiana University Memorial Union building along the Jordan River in Dunn Meadow.
The time travelers arrive amid a civil rights rally.
Music is playing the new Beatles’ song, “All You Need Is Love.”
51 FADE IN - People are dancing in the Meadow.
Many women are dressed with flowers in their hair. The time travelers are caught up in the dancing.
BUNNY
What lovely days these were.
MAGGIE
Everyone is so into the themes of love and peace.
PENELOPE
Oh what fun it is to dance with everyone.
BABE
There are hundreds of students and young townspeople here.
52 FADE IN - Suddenly the loud music stops and a protester speaks into a microphone.
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DICK, PROTESTER
It is time to let our voices be heard.
All over the country, young citizens are making it known that all the killing going on in Vietnam and rioting over racism in our own country must come to an end.
The Be-Ins held earlier this spring and summer in New York City’s Central Park have made it clear that United States’ policies of racial inequality and warring actions in Southeast Asia can no longer be tolerated.
During June’s four day Quang Nam offensive, 114 Americans died. Over 10,000 protesters marched in San Francisco last June.
Over 100,000 protesters showed up in New York City last. The attendance at the October 21st protest in Washington, D.C. was phenomenal!
Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara should resign.
53 FADE IN – To Maggie and Bunny
MAGGIE
Maybe he should go work for the World Bank.
BUNNY
You are right, Secretary McNamara did resign and became the president of the World Bank in 1967.
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54 FADE IN – To the speaking protester
DICK
This summer’s race riots in Detroit, and D. C., and Minneapolis, and Newark New Jersey, and Buffalo New York were terrible. The racism within our country’s borders are as severe a social problem as the killing happening throughout the world.
55 FADE IN – To the three girls
EVA
What else happened in 1967?
DICK
American airplanes have been shot down over Communist China. This year, the Chinese developed and tested their first H – Hydrogen Bomb.
EVA
Oh no, another American adversary had the capability of starting a nuclear war.
MAGGIE
It is amazing that our parents lived through these times. We might have never been born.
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56 FADE IN – To the speaking protester
DICK
It is time we put an end to all this domestic injustice and international destruction!
Join us. Let’ put our voices together and get our government to act positive.
57 FADE IN – To the girls and Jackson
They walk over to a group of non-politically involved ‘jocks’ who are discussing the good fortunes of the 1967 football team that are headed to the Rose Bowl.
BUNNY
Hey are you guys getting behind this rally?
BUTCH
We’re listening but reliving our football team’s good fortune about going to the Rose Bowl.
BUD
Purdue came into our stadium ranked #3 in the country and we beat them in the Old Oaken Bucket game 19 to 13.
BUTCH
You know it, Bud, Harry Gonzo is one terrific quarterback!
JACKO
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Who is Indiana going to play in the Rose Bowl?
BUTCH
Number 1 Southern Cal and their Heisman Trophy winner O.J. Simpson.
MAGGIE
Do you think we should tell them what O.J. did after he quit playing football.
BUNNY
He is such a ruthless player that I think he could kill his family.
BUD
Huh?
EVE
I bet you that he will become such a loser that he will have to sell that Heisman Trophy he won.
BUTCH
Huh? The vote on the Heisman Trophy is two weeks away.
MAGGIE
That man would run over his own girlfriend.
TRIXIE
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O.J. has a real mean streak.
58 FADE OUT – All of a sudden, they are sucked through the worm hole to a different place and time.
59 FADE IN – The gang is seated together at an indoor movie theatre. The camera first focuses on their lighted faces (left to right: Ralphie, Penelope, Jackson, Eva, Trixie, Maggie, Bernadette, Xavier, Babe, Queeg). They are viewing the 1979 movie, “Breaking Away.” The annual Little 500 bike race is immortalized on film.
Scenes from “Breaking Away”: tbd
XAVIER
Can you believe that movie was filmed over 20 years ago?
QUEEG
Does anyone know what time it is?
RALPHIE
None of the Cutters would know.
BUNNY
Why would you say that?
QUEEG
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Well even if a Cutter did own a watch, it probably would be broken.
(laughter)
MAGGIE
What time is it?
PENELOPE
1999
(laughter)
QUEEG
The year 1999 was not all that funny.
RALPHIE
Remember the Y2K scare?
Do you know how much ramping up in software projects there were in 1999 for corporate computer security?
Hundreds of millions!
Maybe more like billions of dollars set aside to prevent major computer crashing.
QUEEG
In retrospect, Information Technology’s Y2K Anxiety was a phenomenon.
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60 FADE OUT - All of a sudden, they are sucked through the worm hole to a different place and time.
61 FADE IN - 1987 - Scene behind Swain Hall and Memorial Hall near the red musical clock.
62 FADE OUT – In order to get out of harm’s way, Babe ushers them to a safe area where the group is transported back to the TV in Babe’s townhouse.
63 FADE IN – Everyone’s hair is a mess as it appears that the gang either just got out of bed or just came inside from a windstorm. They are seated around the TV.
JACKSON
Let’s go to another time that ain’t so threatening.
Heck, I mean college should be risk free.
QUEEG
Life without risk is not worth living (he states as he presses the DVD machine.
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64 FADE IN – The gang is assuming that all travels are going back in time. They are surprised because they go 7 years forward for a peak into the future.
2020 – The students are sub-planted at the end of their time-space travel and are situated in a deep fog. The setting is Oak Hill Cemetery.
They look around and note that the tomb stones have various individual’s names and in almost every case the year of death is 2012.
They become further puzzled wondering what is was that led to all these deaths.
GUY
Let me tell you about it. In 2012, there were at least a dozen types of viruses, pink eye, lung illnesses, and bacterial infections going around affected the public. An early flu season started in August. The annual anti-viral serum vaccines had not come out until months later. There waa a flu epidemic in the area that was transmitted among the disadvantaged.
RALPHIE
The poor economic times have had a hard effect on the disadvantaged. We are talking about all kinds
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of people: the poor, veteran, senior, unemployed, and homeless in our wonderful community.
QUEEG
There are many helpful organizations in town but the demand had been so high.
65 FADE IN - Zeke, this time in a long hearse, drives up and demands that all the young adults get in the back of his vehicle. Except for one of them (the co-ed he has “the hots” for - Maggie).
Zeke pulls up in front of I.U.’s Wright Quad residence halls.
Ralphie gets as soon as the new hearse stops and opens the
back doors for the passengers.
MAGGIE
I do not recognize this place.
EVA
This place looks unfamiliar to me.
QUEEG
Go check out the courtyard straight ahead in the middle of Wright Quad.
66 FADE IN - There is a strip beach volleyball match scheduled that Barry believes they must attend between
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the housekeeping and dietary staff and the Campus policemen (climax).
67 FADE IN – There is a lot of excitement and action
68 FADE IN - The game progresses as when one team earns a point on the other, a member of the losing team must shed one piece of clothing. The Wright Quad Squad ends up winning the game.
69 FADE IN - One of the good looking muscular men on the Campus Police team has his handcuffs used on himself by one of the middle-aged cafeteria workers. His cuffs are tied to the volleyball net pole and she snuggles in the sand with him after their victory.
70 FADE OUT – Just as the couple begins to get intimate, the camera scene fades out. Members of the gang are transported back to the TV room in Babe’s townhouse.
71 FADE IN – The door bell rings. One of the men answers the door and hollers that Trixie has a visitor.
72 FADE IN – Trixie stumbles a clutter house and then makes her way to the doorway where the Dean of Students is standing with flowers and a hat box.
DOCTOR DEAN
TRIXIE
I’d invite you in but I have not done any housework in ages.
DOCTOR DEAN
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TRIXIE
DOCTOR DEAN
73 FADE IN – In the TV room, there are many conversations in a room that is more than messy, it is in a shambles.
BUNNY
(speaks quietly in a private discussion with Maggie)
Whatchs’ going to do?
I mean, you know.
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MAGGIE
I’m thinking that he is not such a bad dude
after all.
BUNNY
You understand most things more than I do, but I do recognize the feelings of kismet when I get them.
MAGGIE
You are thinking of Zeke, aren’t you?
BUNNY
Yep, but how about you?
RALPHIE
(gets closer after overhearing the end of the conversation)
Ya, yeh. How about you and I?
MAGGIE
That is the biggest problem facing us. You, Ralphie. But I still sort of like you despite your many faults and silliness.
RALPHIE
I dig it. I dig you.
Let’s go digging together, tonight.
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MAGGIE
That is cool as long as we don’t end up in that cemetery again.
Bunny, Bunny, honey, you go out. Give Zeke a call now. I am sure he is waiting for you breathlessly.
(laughter and giggles)
BUNNY
And you think the Man will approve of Zeke.
(more giggling)
MAGGIE
You know the Man always wanted to see you andZeke that way.
74 FADE OUT – Maggie and Ralphie leave arm in arm.
75 FADE IN – At the airport.
2013 - Return to the present (anticlimaxes)
EVE
How you think you are going to get through the TSA checkpoint, Jacko?
JACKSON
It is easy, Eve.
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Just submit to it all, Eva.
I think one of us will get strip searched.
I wouldn’t mind it. I’d rather watch you.
EVE
Stop kidding around, Jacko. Get serious.
TSA INSPECTOR
Go ahead Miss. You move along out of here too, Sir.
EVE
Whew, it is nice to get another break and a free ride, Jacko. Jackson, I have been thinking. We have been on a whirl-wheel-wind tour of the ages.
JACKSON
That is for sure. Eva, I am really ready for some R and R – rest and relaxation.
EVE
Hasn’t these adventures taught us a lesson?
JACKSON
Ya, you are persistent.
You keep doing me like that!
Now what are you trying to say?
(as they are boarding the plane)
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EVE
I never want to see us end up in a graveyard like those folks at Oak Hills.
JACKSON
You are right. That left an unforgettable impression on me.
(the two of them go through the process of boarding the plane)
EVA
I now believe it is important to live the best we can in the present.
The Man has paid for this trip and all and given each one of us the chance to step away from college for a week to kick back in the Caribbean.
(as the plane begins to move away
from the boarding gate, they kiss passionately)
JACKSON
Does that mean no more woofing?
(Eve nods yes)
Does that mean no more sniveling?
(Eve nods yes)
JACKSON
I am all in.
59 Copyright MMXII – Max’s Scout Services & Communications, LLC – Latest draft – 9/26/12 –
D. A. D. Publishing & Associates
All Rights Reserved
59
“Fast Forward to the Past”
- - A 200-year historical perspective of humorous life around I.U.
(they kiss again passionately)
JACKSON
Time really flies when you are having fun.
76 FADE OUT – The plane is shown taking off into the setting sun.
The End
60 Copyright MMXII – Max’s Scout Services & Communications, LLC – Latest draft – 9/26/12 –
D. A. D. Publishing & Associates
All Rights Reserved
60