100:00:00,813 --> 00:00:04,068 It seems todaythat all you see 200:00:04,168 --> 00:00:07,437 Is violence in moviesand sex on TV 300:00:07,471 --> 00:00:11,007 But where are thosegood old-fashioned values 400:00:11,042 --> 00:00:14,010 On which we used to rely?500:00:14,045 --> 00:00:17,514 Lucky there's a family guy600:00:17,548 --> 00:00:20,817 Lucky there's a manwho positively can do 700:00:20,851 --> 00:00:22,385 All the things that make us800:00:22,420 --> 00:00:23,753 Laugh and cry900:00:23,788 --> 00:00:24,503 He's... a...Fam... ily... Guy! 1000:00:25,104 --> 00:00:29,104 Family Guy 12x10 Grimm JobOriginal Air Date on January 12, 20141100:00:29,105 --> 00:00:34,105== sync, corrected by elderman ==@elder_man1200:00:34,131 --> 00:00:36,366We now return to An Early Draft1300:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,534of A Streetcar Named Desire.1400:00:38,569 --> 00:00:42,272Deb? Deb!1500:00:42,306 --> 00:00:45,341Debbie!1600:00:45,376 --> 00:00:46,743Good night, Lois.1700:00:46,777 --> 00:00:48,444Sorry about hittingyou at dinner.1800:00:48,479 --> 00:00:50,647It was nice of the managernot to call the cops.1900:00:50,681 --> 00:00:52,048Yeah, it worked out.2000:00:52,082 --> 00:00:53,583Happy anniversary.2100:00:53,617 --> 00:00:55,518Hey, hey!2200:00:55,552 --> 00:00:56,920I can't remember if I'm supposed2300:00:56,954 --> 00:00:58,655to sleep on my stomachor my back.2400:00:58,689 --> 00:01:00,657What doesthe current literature say?2500:01:00,691 --> 00:01:01,991Peter, go checkon Stewie.2600:01:02,026 --> 00:01:04,127Fine.2700:01:04,161 --> 00:01:06,362Oh, my God, look at you.2800:01:06,397 --> 00:01:07,497You're out of breath.2900:01:07,531 --> 00:01:10,133It's 15 feetfrom your door to mine.3000:01:10,167 --> 00:01:11,534Aw, what's the matter, Stewie?3100:01:11,568 --> 00:01:12,936You a little scared in here?3200:01:12,970 --> 00:01:14,737Don't worry,there's no monsters.3300:01:14,772 --> 00:01:16,205Of course there'sno monsters.3400:01:16,240 --> 00:01:17,674Or are you worriedabout what happened3500:01:17,708 --> 00:01:19,275to that familydown the street?3600:01:19,310 --> 00:01:21,644Those three guys broke in,beat up the father3700:01:21,679 --> 00:01:23,713with a croquet mallet,and then stole the baby,3800:01:23,747 --> 00:01:25,782and nobody knowswhere the baby is now?3900:01:25,816 --> 00:01:27,456Is that what you'rethinking about, buddy?4000:01:27,484 --> 00:01:28,885I am now!4100:01:28,919 --> 00:01:31,754Tell you what, Daddy'llread you a bedtime story.4200:01:31,789 --> 00:01:33,089Ah, let's see.4300:01:33,123 --> 00:01:35,058Dr. Seuss, Peter Rabbit...4400:01:35,092 --> 00:01:38,127Ah, here we go,James Michener's Hawaii.4500:01:38,162 --> 00:01:40,363Let's skip three feet in.4600:01:40,397 --> 00:01:42,298Aah, Pearl Harbor!4700:01:42,333 --> 00:01:44,033Okay, let's see, uh...4800:01:44,068 --> 00:01:45,168Ah, here we go.4900:01:45,202 --> 00:01:46,936Fairy Tales.5000:01:48,505 --> 00:01:50,006Oh, not on your lap.5100:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,675Aah, gross!5200:01:52,710 --> 00:01:54,544"Jack and the Beanstalk."5300:01:54,578 --> 00:01:57,046Now, that title could bea fairy tale or a porn.5400:01:57,081 --> 00:01:59,082Let's find out.5500:02:08,359 --> 00:02:10,526Jack, we need to putfood on the table.5600:02:10,561 --> 00:02:11,861Oh, give me a break, Wife.5700:02:11,895 --> 00:02:13,696You know, if you couldspin straw into gold5800:02:13,731 --> 00:02:15,932or-or maybe meth,I wouldn't need a job.5900:02:15,966 --> 00:02:17,333Well, then, sell the cow!6000:02:17,368 --> 00:02:19,369And be sure you getreal money for it.6100:02:19,403 --> 00:02:20,737What else would I get?6200:02:20,771 --> 00:02:22,739I don't know-- magic beans?6300:02:22,773 --> 00:02:24,240There are magic beans?6400:02:24,274 --> 00:02:25,274I don't know.6500:02:25,309 --> 00:02:26,609Who cares?6600:02:26,643 --> 00:02:28,478Well, what'smagic about them?6700:02:28,512 --> 00:02:30,580Don't get magicbeans, you idiot.6800:02:30,614 --> 00:02:32,115What? I-I'd nevereven freaking heard6900:02:32,149 --> 00:02:33,783of magic beanstill you said them.7000:02:33,817 --> 00:02:36,285If I do get them,it's you what caused it.7100:02:41,392 --> 00:02:42,859So, you're selling me?7200:02:42,893 --> 00:02:44,360Yeah, well, you heardher back there.7300:02:44,395 --> 00:02:48,164She wants her stupid magic beansso the whole world has to stop.7400:02:48,198 --> 00:02:49,565Halt, travelers!7500:02:49,600 --> 00:02:50,833Oh, my God!7600:02:50,868 --> 00:02:52,201Why do you look like that?7700:02:52,236 --> 00:02:54,871Ah, all of these storieswere written by Germans.7800:02:54,905 --> 00:02:57,840But nobody can cross my bridgewithout paying a toll.7900:02:57,875 --> 00:02:59,208A toll? Like what?8000:02:59,243 --> 00:03:01,411You have to name threegreat Jewish athletes8100:03:01,445 --> 00:03:03,813or pay a thousandgold coins.8200:03:03,847 --> 00:03:06,082Uh, Hank Greenberg,8300:03:06,116 --> 00:03:07,583Sandy Koufax8400:03:07,618 --> 00:03:09,619and, uh, Gal Fridman,8500:03:09,653 --> 00:03:11,154Olympic windsurfer.8600:03:11,188 --> 00:03:12,588Took gold in Athens in 20008700:03:12,623 --> 00:03:14,390and the bronzein Atlanta in '96.8800:03:14,425 --> 00:03:16,426I can see you'reon your phone.8900:03:16,460 --> 00:03:18,094Oh, come on,I'm supposed to go into town9000:03:18,128 --> 00:03:19,362and sell this cow.9100:03:19,396 --> 00:03:21,097Ooh, you're selling that cow?9200:03:21,131 --> 00:03:24,200I don't have much, but I'll giveyou some magic beans for it.9300:03:26,103 --> 00:03:29,439That's exactlywhat I was supposed to get!9400:03:30,641 --> 00:03:32,942I said not magic beans.9500:03:32,976 --> 00:03:34,844Look, le-let'sjust admit we both9600:03:34,878 --> 00:03:36,179kind of got ourwires crossed,9700:03:36,213 --> 00:03:38,614and commit to beingclearer in the future.9800:03:38,649 --> 00:03:41,084Jack, I'm sick of yourirresponsible behavior.9900:03:41,118 --> 00:03:43,619Like when you were supposedto be babysitting Georgie Porgie10000:03:43,654 --> 00:03:46,055and his sleazy brotherRick Porgie.10100:03:46,090 --> 00:03:48,658Hey, Rick, you want to kisssome girls and make them cry?10200:03:48,692 --> 00:03:52,095No, but let's thumb-blast themand make them puke.10300:03:52,129 --> 00:03:54,363What the hell are we supposedto do with these anyway?10400:03:54,398 --> 00:03:56,632I knew you'd be mad, soI've asked the band Heart10500:03:56,667 --> 00:03:59,635to explain these beans in away you can dreamily digest.10600:03:59,670 --> 00:04:01,938 These beans10700:04:01,972 --> 00:04:05,942 Go on when I close my eyes10800:04:05,976 --> 00:04:08,978 Every second of the night10900:04:09,012 --> 00:04:12,115 I live another life11000:04:12,149 --> 00:04:17,753 These beans that sleepwhen it's cold outside. 11100:04:17,788 --> 00:04:21,324They changed the word"dreams" to "beans."11200:04:21,358 --> 00:04:23,926I-I was hoping they'dchange a few more words11300:04:23,961 --> 00:04:25,728to pertain to our situation,11400:04:25,762 --> 00:04:27,864but I-I-I'm justhappy they did this.11500:04:27,898 --> 00:04:29,232Jack, this is ridiculous.11600:04:29,266 --> 00:04:31,134Tomorrow I want youto go back out there11700:04:31,168 --> 00:04:33,803and look for a jobthat pays actual money.11800:04:33,837 --> 00:04:35,671These things are worthless.11900:04:37,774 --> 00:04:39,942I know she's gone,but can you do the other one?12000:04:39,977 --> 00:04:42,145 What about beans?12100:04:42,179 --> 00:04:46,182 Don't you want someoneto care about you? 12200:04:59,830 --> 00:05:02,165"Mary Davis gives birth to...12300:05:02,199 --> 00:05:04,167lamb?"12400:05:04,201 --> 00:05:06,202Holy crap!12500:05:15,145 --> 00:05:17,079Oh, my God!12600:05:17,114 --> 00:05:18,548Wha-What is that?12700:05:18,582 --> 00:05:21,984I think those magic beansgrew into a giant beanstalk.12800:05:22,019 --> 00:05:23,699Hey, where the hell'dthat thing come from?12900:05:23,720 --> 00:05:26,222It's blocking my view ofLittle Miss Muffet's tuffet.13000:05:26,256 --> 00:05:28,257Ooh, isn't my tuffet soft13100:05:28,292 --> 00:05:30,359and pink and wonderful?13200:05:30,394 --> 00:05:31,994Ah, damn it!I need to see that13300:05:32,029 --> 00:05:33,696so I can make curds and whey.13400:05:33,730 --> 00:05:35,198Relax, Rumpleforeskin.13500:05:35,232 --> 00:05:37,767This is a magic beanstalkthat grew overnight.13600:05:37,801 --> 00:05:39,135And I'm gonna climb it.13700:05:39,169 --> 00:05:40,503Jack, what are youtalking about?13800:05:40,537 --> 00:05:42,171You can't climb allthe way up there.13900:05:42,206 --> 00:05:43,339I have to.14000:05:43,373 --> 00:05:45,541My old gym coach is over therewith a whistle.14100:05:46,577 --> 00:05:48,277Come on, Jack,your brother was14200:05:48,312 --> 00:05:50,012varsity beanstalk climbing.14300:05:50,047 --> 00:05:52,048He's dead!14400:06:03,594 --> 00:06:06,262And now to throwthis handful of change down14500:06:06,296 --> 00:06:09,265because I'm a psychopath.14600:06:09,299 --> 00:06:10,566Aah, damn it!14700:06:10,601 --> 00:06:12,501Thank you!14800:06:14,238 --> 00:06:16,639I say, who thedevil are you? Go away!14900:06:16,673 --> 00:06:17,840Aw, I-I'm sorry.15000:06:17,874 --> 00:06:19,475Are you takinga goose poop?15100:06:19,509 --> 00:06:21,177I'm not defecating,you nitwit.15200:06:21,211 --> 00:06:22,211I'm laying an egg.15300:06:26,950 --> 00:06:28,951Golden eggs!15400:06:28,986 --> 00:06:30,519Oh, my God!15500:06:30,554 --> 00:06:32,121This is probablywhat famous black rappers15600:06:32,155 --> 00:06:35,024eat for breakfast.15700:06:35,058 --> 00:06:37,059Who goes there?!15800:06:37,094 --> 00:06:39,629Oh, boy.You woke up dum-dum.15900:06:40,864 --> 00:06:43,699Fee-fi-fo-fum.16000:06:43,734 --> 00:06:47,470I smell the bloodof an English man.16100:06:47,504 --> 00:06:50,039It's odd that you would speakgibberish of your own choosing16200:06:50,073 --> 00:06:51,741and not make it rhyme.16300:06:51,775 --> 00:06:53,309How did you get here?16400:06:53,343 --> 00:06:54,443By beanstalk.16500:06:54,478 --> 00:06:55,778How did you get up here?16600:06:55,812 --> 00:06:57,680This is just a housefloating in the air.16700:06:57,714 --> 00:06:59,282I fell from a higher cloud.16800:06:59,316 --> 00:07:01,384That is not what happened.H-He's out of his mind.16900:07:01,418 --> 00:07:04,053He just sits in his room allday and inhales hair spray.17000:07:04,087 --> 00:07:06,389Well, you can't have my goose.17100:07:06,423 --> 00:07:08,524Okay, two menfighting over me.17200:07:08,558 --> 00:07:09,825Neat.17300:07:09,860 --> 00:07:11,794All right, we're just gonnahave to quietly run away.17400:07:11,828 --> 00:07:13,262I'll create a diversion.17500:07:13,297 --> 00:07:14,563Aah! Look at me!17600:07:14,598 --> 00:07:15,998Look at me! Look at me!17700:07:16,033 --> 00:07:17,066Aah!17800:07:38,889 --> 00:07:40,256Damn beanstalk.17900:07:40,290 --> 00:07:41,957Hey, Little Boy Brown!18000:07:41,992 --> 00:07:43,592You said you weregonna help me saw.18100:07:43,627 --> 00:07:45,161I can'tfind no gloves!18200:08:04,214 --> 00:08:05,448Aah!18300:08:10,887 --> 00:08:13,422Jack six, giant zero.18400:08:13,457 --> 00:08:15,925What? What? Why-whyis that six points?18500:08:15,959 --> 00:08:17,426Oh, Jack, you're safe.18600:08:17,461 --> 00:08:19,061I was so worried.18700:08:19,096 --> 00:08:20,596And I got this golden goose.18800:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,631Our troubles are over.18900:08:22,666 --> 00:08:24,533Well, our-our moneytroubles are over.19000:08:24,568 --> 00:08:27,937Our sexual troubles are still...are still very much alive.19100:08:34,478 --> 00:08:37,246Now we wait.19200:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,681"The end."19300:08:38,715 --> 00:08:40,649So, the lesson there isif you steal,19400:08:40,684 --> 00:08:42,651you better be readyto murder, too.19500:08:42,686 --> 00:08:44,820What do you saywe read another one?19600:08:44,855 --> 00:08:47,757Wow, you got a great viewinto Bonnie's window from here.19700:08:47,791 --> 00:08:49,825Man, how do you getany work done?19800:08:49,860 --> 00:08:51,660What do you mean?Lois is prettier than Bonnie.19900:08:51,695 --> 00:08:52,962Oh, I get it.20000:08:52,996 --> 00:08:54,363It's worse, but it's different.20100:08:54,398 --> 00:08:55,464Okay, all right,so that's something.20200:08:55,499 --> 00:08:56,499Okay.20300:09:00,888 --> 00:09:03,122So I got out of thecar to take a leak,20400:09:03,157 --> 00:09:04,824because I'd been drinking,and I didn't know20500:09:04,858 --> 00:09:06,325it was next to achildren's park.20600:09:06,360 --> 00:09:07,660But anyway, that'swhy this lady20700:09:07,694 --> 00:09:09,762has to watch wheneverI play with you.20800:09:09,796 --> 00:09:11,230Both handson the book, please.20900:09:11,265 --> 00:09:13,199It's my son!Come on!21000:09:13,233 --> 00:09:14,200Geez!21100:09:14,234 --> 00:09:15,568Thank you, Maya.21200:09:15,602 --> 00:09:19,272All right, the next story is"Little Red Riding Hood."21300:09:23,744 --> 00:09:25,845Red Riding Hoodwas choosing her clothes21400:09:25,879 --> 00:09:28,214for a journeyacross the forest.21500:09:28,248 --> 00:09:29,515You know, if I had the guts,21600:09:29,550 --> 00:09:31,050I would beLittle White Turtleneck.21700:09:31,084 --> 00:09:33,119And by "guts," I mean "body."21800:09:33,153 --> 00:09:36,989Red, don't forget this basketof food for Grandma.21900:09:37,024 --> 00:09:38,858This whole thing isway too heavy.22000:09:38,892 --> 00:09:40,993Wh-why are you puttinga bag of ice in here?22100:09:41,028 --> 00:09:44,230Is this... is thisa Coors Party Ball?22200:09:44,264 --> 00:09:45,398Is Grandma goingto be entertaining22300:09:45,432 --> 00:09:47,433Florida Jet Ski people?22400:09:47,467 --> 00:09:50,069Remember, stay on the pathand you'll be fine.22500:09:50,103 --> 00:09:52,305Oh, yes, great advicefrom mother of the year.22600:09:52,339 --> 00:09:56,042You do realize Grandmalives 68 miles away, right?22700:09:56,076 --> 00:09:58,544You-you're sending yourchild out there to die.22800:10:01,915 --> 00:10:03,516 Tra-la-la-la-la22900:10:03,550 --> 00:10:05,818 Skipping song,skipping song 23000:10:05,852 --> 00:10:08,354 No one's hereto call me gay. 23100:10:08,388 --> 00:10:10,790If you were my son,I would kill you.23200:10:10,824 --> 00:10:13,459Really? Because I hearyour son is a sap.23300:10:14,828 --> 00:10:16,095If you're gonnahit the king,23400:10:16,129 --> 00:10:18,130you better kill the king.23500:10:27,808 --> 00:10:28,874Oh, hey.23600:10:28,909 --> 00:10:30,109You're the wolf, right?23700:10:30,143 --> 00:10:31,844Yup, and don't forget"big" and "bad."23800:10:33,513 --> 00:10:34,680Nah.23900:10:37,651 --> 00:10:40,953So, um, what happened with youand those three little pigs?24000:10:40,988 --> 00:10:42,855Wh-Why did you wantto eat them so badly?24100:10:42,889 --> 00:10:46,158It-it's so amazing that that'swhat people think happened.24200:10:46,193 --> 00:10:48,327First of all, I didn't wantto eat them, all right?24300:10:48,362 --> 00:10:49,729I wanted to talkto one of them.24400:10:49,763 --> 00:10:50,730About what?24500:10:50,764 --> 00:10:51,964Well, she wasmy ex-girlfriend,24600:10:51,999 --> 00:10:54,533and I believedI was due an explanation24700:10:54,568 --> 00:10:56,836about why she wassuch a whore.24800:10:56,870 --> 00:10:58,671All right, well, I'moff to my grandmother's,24900:10:58,705 --> 00:11:01,307but before I go, I bettertake a deep-woods dump.25000:11:01,341 --> 00:11:03,843Her bathroom is rightoff the dining room.25100:11:03,877 --> 00:11:07,647So, it's either nowor three days from now.25200:11:10,984 --> 00:11:12,351Where are you going, dear?25300:11:12,386 --> 00:11:14,754I got to go checkon my shoe apartment complex.25400:11:14,788 --> 00:11:17,523Old woman breedslike a gopher.25500:11:21,628 --> 00:11:23,663Hello?Is anyone home?25600:11:23,697 --> 00:11:26,432Ay, no, no.25700:11:26,466 --> 00:11:29,368I can hearthe muffled Mexican music.25800:11:30,771 --> 00:11:32,305Look, if you guysdon't shape up,25900:11:32,339 --> 00:11:33,439I'm gonna rent this place26000:11:33,473 --> 00:11:35,841to Goldilocksand the three bears.26100:11:35,876 --> 00:11:37,810Ooh, this is nice.26200:11:37,844 --> 00:11:40,446It's every bit asdarling as you said.26300:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,381They're gonnafix up the place.26400:11:47,454 --> 00:11:48,888Who is it?26500:11:48,922 --> 00:11:50,856It's your granddaughter, Red.26600:11:50,891 --> 00:11:52,591How do I know it's you?26700:11:52,626 --> 00:11:54,293Oh, come on, that'sa perfect imitation.26800:11:54,328 --> 00:11:57,530Open up. I brought strawberryshortcake and Cool Whip.26900:11:57,564 --> 00:11:58,531And what?27000:11:58,565 --> 00:12:00,266Oh, sorry.I mean Cool Hwhip.27100:12:00,300 --> 00:12:03,002That's my little girl.27200:12:03,036 --> 00:12:06,105Oh, my!27300:12:12,212 --> 00:12:14,280Come in.27400:12:14,314 --> 00:12:15,881Who the hell are you?27500:12:15,916 --> 00:12:17,583Why, your grandma,of course.27600:12:17,617 --> 00:12:18,651All right, fine.27700:12:18,685 --> 00:12:19,785I guess we're doing this.27800:12:19,820 --> 00:12:22,455My, what big eyesyou have, Grandma.27900:12:22,489 --> 00:12:24,990All the betterto see you with, my dear.28000:12:25,025 --> 00:12:26,592My, what big...You know what?28100:12:26,626 --> 00:12:27,860I-I'm sorry, I-I can't.28200:12:27,894 --> 00:12:30,229I-I can't do this.I-I'm not an idiot.28300:12:30,263 --> 00:12:31,831My grandma is a human woman.28400:12:31,865 --> 00:12:33,499How-how was this ever a scene?28500:12:33,533 --> 00:12:34,734All right, fine, yes.28600:12:34,768 --> 00:12:35,835It's me, the wolf.28700:12:35,869 --> 00:12:37,370Must we go throughthis charade?28800:12:37,404 --> 00:12:38,604It's insulting.28900:12:38,638 --> 00:12:39,905I don't knowwhy you're complaining.29000:12:39,940 --> 00:12:41,040I'm the one who's about29100:12:41,074 --> 00:12:43,142to get violently bisectedby the woodsman.29200:12:43,176 --> 00:12:44,877What woodsman?29300:12:44,911 --> 00:12:47,580Ha-ha!29400:12:58,325 --> 00:13:00,493You know, I'm not sureif that's our hero29500:13:00,527 --> 00:13:01,727or just a lunatic29600:13:01,762 --> 00:13:03,429going house to housemurdering people.29700:13:03,463 --> 00:13:04,864Ha-ha!29800:13:09,202 --> 00:13:10,636Yeah, he-he-hejust did it again.29900:13:10,670 --> 00:13:11,871I think we should...30000:13:11,905 --> 00:13:13,973I think we should call somebody.30100:13:20,291 --> 00:13:22,525Aw, look at the little guy.30200:13:22,560 --> 00:13:24,460So peaceful.30300:13:24,495 --> 00:13:25,962Hey! Wake up! We got one more!30400:13:27,398 --> 00:13:30,199Now, if this don't get youto sleep, nothing will.30500:13:30,234 --> 00:13:33,169"Cinderella"by nobody remembers.30600:13:35,539 --> 00:13:38,441A long time ago,in a magical, faraway land,30700:13:38,475 --> 00:13:41,844several women lived togetherand, surprise, surprise,30800:13:41,879 --> 00:13:43,980they didn't exactly get along.30900:13:46,317 --> 00:13:48,985Hey, Cinderella,how's the scrubbing going?31000:13:49,019 --> 00:13:51,721God, we have so few femalecharacters to work with.31100:13:51,755 --> 00:13:53,623You just keep scrubbingthat poo spot31200:13:53,657 --> 00:13:55,892so I can come backand poo on that spot again.31300:13:55,926 --> 00:13:58,861You guys are gonna regretbeing mean to me someday.31400:13:58,896 --> 00:14:00,463Mean to you? Us?31500:14:00,497 --> 00:14:03,032When are we evermean to you?31600:14:03,067 --> 00:14:04,934Remember the timeyou told King Midas31700:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,636to go to third base with me?31800:14:06,670 --> 00:14:08,404Now I'm dealing with this.31900:14:09,907 --> 00:14:11,908I dated him, too.32000:14:18,582 --> 00:14:21,618It's so unfair that we're calledthe "evil" stepsisters.32100:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,686Yeah, I mean,you'd be evil, too,32200:14:23,721 --> 00:14:25,622if your stepdad wasBruce Jenner.32300:14:25,656 --> 00:14:28,891Hey, girls, feel my cheek,it's like a bottom!32400:14:31,161 --> 00:14:32,895He stole me horn!32500:14:36,233 --> 00:14:38,067Well, I don't,I don't know what that was,32600:14:38,102 --> 00:14:40,436but th-the first one hasa parchment from the Charmings.32700:14:42,773 --> 00:14:44,941It's an invite to a partyfor the prince!32800:14:44,975 --> 00:14:46,442I hear he's lookingfor someone32900:14:46,477 --> 00:14:47,777to spend the restof his life with.33000:14:47,811 --> 00:14:49,245Well, it won't be you.33100:14:49,279 --> 00:14:52,148Yeah, there's a reason thisstory's not called "Cinderella."33200:14:52,182 --> 00:14:53,549Actually, it is.33300:14:53,584 --> 00:14:56,486Ah, that does notbode well for us.33400:15:00,858 --> 00:15:02,892Now, since we're allplanning on drinking,33500:15:02,926 --> 00:15:04,994I called us a pumpkin.33600:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,162Wait for me!33700:15:09,833 --> 00:15:11,901You said if I hada nice dress,33800:15:11,935 --> 00:15:13,436I could go to the ball.33900:15:13,470 --> 00:15:15,672How did you even makethat dress so fast?34000:15:15,706 --> 00:15:18,107Oh, you know,I-I have an eye for fashion,34100:15:18,142 --> 00:15:20,276and I'm pretty goodwith my hands.34200:15:20,310 --> 00:15:21,644Unbelievable.34300:15:21,679 --> 00:15:23,946Now I'm worried about thatscreenplay we gave her.34400:15:23,981 --> 00:15:25,581You're not goingto the ball!34500:15:25,616 --> 00:15:28,551It's for ladies,not scumbag nobodies.34600:15:28,585 --> 00:15:32,021Girls, shred her dress anddivvy it up for monthlies.34700:15:45,869 --> 00:15:47,737Well, that'snot cool, either.34800:15:47,771 --> 00:15:49,338They're all kind of bitches.34900:15:53,377 --> 00:15:56,746And then they ripped up my dressso now I have nothing to wear.35000:15:56,780 --> 00:15:59,849Well, sometimes"nothing to wear" is a fun time.35100:15:59,883 --> 00:16:01,884You know, just get weird.35200:16:04,054 --> 00:16:07,123Cinderella, I amyour fairy godmother.35300:16:07,157 --> 00:16:10,827"Fairy" in the magical sense,not about kissing guys.35400:16:10,861 --> 00:16:12,462Oh, my God!35500:16:12,496 --> 00:16:15,598I want that bitch Snow White tojust admit she had an abortion.35600:16:15,632 --> 00:16:16,799Whoa, whoa!35700:16:16,834 --> 00:16:19,335I was thinking more likea new dress for the party.35800:16:19,369 --> 00:16:20,970Or a bunch of chew toys.35900:16:21,004 --> 00:16:22,105Your choice.36000:16:22,139 --> 00:16:23,506Chew toys.Take the chew toys.36100:16:23,540 --> 00:16:24,841A new dress?36200:16:24,875 --> 00:16:27,076Well, that means Icould go to the ball!36300:16:31,849 --> 00:16:34,183Oh, what a beautiful dress.36400:16:34,218 --> 00:16:35,985B-But how will Iget to the ball?36500:16:36,019 --> 00:16:38,221I-I don't have a horseor a carriage.36600:16:44,361 --> 00:16:46,963Oh, yeah, that's... yeah,just change me into whatever.36700:16:46,997 --> 00:16:48,564Yeah, that's cool. Thanks.36800:16:48,599 --> 00:16:50,266Well, is everythingall right in here...?36900:16:50,300 --> 00:16:53,703This hurts! This hurts!37000:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,047This ball is kind of lame.37100:17:05,082 --> 00:17:07,850All these royal typesare inbreeding, walleyed,37200:17:07,885 --> 00:17:10,153bucktooth monsterswho have to be wheeled around37300:17:10,187 --> 00:17:11,287under a blanket.37400:17:11,321 --> 00:17:14,223I say! Wherever is Grandmum-mum?37500:17:14,258 --> 00:17:17,426She would so enjoythe festoonities!37600:17:17,461 --> 00:17:18,861That's not a word, sir.37700:17:18,896 --> 00:17:21,964My mind races from the damp!37800:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,299Hey, how are you?37900:17:23,333 --> 00:17:25,301Hey, hi, there.Thanks for coming.38000:17:25,335 --> 00:17:28,571These are my daughters,and they will do anything38100:17:28,605 --> 00:17:31,574to be your princess,right, girls?38200:17:31,608 --> 00:17:33,142See anythingyou like?38300:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,578Oh, I'm so fancyand moist.38400:17:35,612 --> 00:17:36,979Ew, you guys are gross.38500:17:37,014 --> 00:17:39,482But stick around in caseI don't find anyone else.38600:17:45,455 --> 00:17:48,558Okay, first of all,obviously the dress.38700:17:48,592 --> 00:17:49,926Wow.38800:17:49,960 --> 00:17:51,961And you smell slightlyless worse38900:17:51,995 --> 00:17:53,830than everyone elsein the kingdom.39000:17:53,864 --> 00:17:56,399Oh, why, thank you,I just bathed last year.39100:18:21,692 --> 00:18:22,959Hey, wh-where you going?39200:18:22,993 --> 00:18:23,993Come back here!39300:18:24,027 --> 00:18:25,328You brushed up against it!39400:18:25,362 --> 00:18:27,096You got to take care of it now!39500:18:36,540 --> 00:18:39,075Wait, wait, you forgotyour glass slipper.39600:18:42,412 --> 00:18:43,646And a box of condoms.39700:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,549Aw, man!Things were gonna happen.39800:18:52,756 --> 00:18:54,724We almost kissed.39900:18:54,758 --> 00:18:57,093Why couldn't the magic havelasted five more minutes?40000:18:57,127 --> 00:19:00,229Now I'll never get to bea rich, do-nothing wife.40100:19:00,264 --> 00:19:03,532Sorry your dreamshaven't come true.40200:19:10,474 --> 00:19:13,209My lord, there is no signof her, and we searched far.40300:19:13,243 --> 00:19:15,111Did you search wide?No.40400:19:15,145 --> 00:19:17,346You got to search wide,that's like half of it.40500:19:19,750 --> 00:19:21,984And so the prince searchedall over the kingdom40600:19:22,019 --> 00:19:23,619for the footthat fit the glass slipper.40700:19:23,654 --> 00:19:24,887Well, not "all" over.40800:19:24,922 --> 00:19:28,124He skipped the, uh,south side of town,40900:19:28,158 --> 00:19:29,892which, uh, evenin fairy tale times,41000:19:29,927 --> 00:19:31,761was, um...41100:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,829let's just say "loud."41200:19:37,834 --> 00:19:40,970And so, whoever fits in thisslipper will be my princess.41300:19:41,004 --> 00:19:42,805Or prince.41400:19:42,839 --> 00:19:44,507I'm bi.41500:19:44,541 --> 00:19:46,542Oh, there's my slipper!41600:19:46,576 --> 00:19:48,056Oh, I've been lookingall over for it.41700:19:48,078 --> 00:19:50,780Well, when I'm notdoing gymnastics.41800:19:50,814 --> 00:19:52,782This could be your life.41900:19:52,816 --> 00:19:54,483Enough!42000:19:56,653 --> 00:19:57,987It's you.42100:19:58,021 --> 00:19:59,288Her?42200:20:10,033 --> 00:20:12,802I can't wait to make loveto you a hundred years42300:20:12,836 --> 00:20:16,205before the inventionof toilet paper.42400:20:16,239 --> 00:20:19,141And so, two people who dancedtogether one time42500:20:19,176 --> 00:20:22,144entered into an ill-advised,long-term relationship.42600:20:22,179 --> 00:20:25,047And they lived happily everafter for seven months42700:20:25,082 --> 00:20:27,750and then separated withthe goal of fixing themselves42800:20:27,784 --> 00:20:29,151and getting back together.42900:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,287They got into a huge fightwhen his mom got sick.43000:20:31,321 --> 00:20:33,489And now they don't even followeach other on Twitter.43100:20:33,523 --> 00:20:35,124The end.43200:20:41,999 --> 00:20:45,234Good night, Stewie.43300:20:45,268 --> 00:20:47,803Good night, Chris.43400:20:49,272 --> 00:20:51,273Good night, Meg.43500:20:51,308 --> 00:20:56,308== sync, corrected by elderman ==@elder_man