Eyewitness account English subject leaders and...
Transcript of Eyewitness account English subject leaders and...
SecondaryNational Strategy
Eyewitness accountYear 9 writing task
Teacher pack
Guidance
Curriculum andStandards
English subjectleaders and teachers of EnglishStatus: Recommended
Date of issue: 01-2006
Ref: DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
Assessing pupils’ progress in English atKey Stage 3
Eyewitness account
Year 9 writing task
Framework objectives Writing 11 Make telling use of descriptive detail.
Writing triplet Inform, explain, describe
Assessment focuses AF1 Write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts. AF2 Produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose. AF3 Organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing and
structuring information, ideas and events. AF4 Construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between
paragraphs. AF5 Vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect. AF6 Write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases,
clauses and sentences. AF7 Select appropriate and effective vocabulary. AF8 Use correct spelling.
Time needed Two consecutive one-hour lessons. Timings will need to be adapted if lessonsare longer or shorter than 60 minutes.
These timings are estimates for guidance rather than obligatory timings. The most important consideration is that pupils should have sufficient time tocomplete the task, working independently. Unfinished tasks are unlikely toproduce evidence on all the assessment focuses.
Teachers may adjust the timings for the task to take account of their particularcircumstances, but should bear in mind that spending overmuch time on anysection may disadvantage pupils.
Pack includes Teacher notesOHT 1 – task and features of writing to describe OHT 2 – basic sentence activity OHT 3 – model text: Captain’s JournalOHT 4 – extract for exploration OHT 5 – fact sheet OHT 6 – planning sheet Marking guidelines Annotated exemplar responses
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Task outline This task requires pupils to write an eyewitness account of a volcanic eruption,using information from a fact sheet. As preparation for the task, they study ajournal entry about a storm at sea, identifying the language features that makeit an effective account. Pupils write the opening of their eyewitness account asa shared class composition. They then complete their account independently,drawing on what they have learned from the journal entry and selectinginformation from the fact sheet.
3© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Teacher notes
Teaching sequence
LESSON 1 � Share lesson objectives with the class, rephrasing as appropriate for
the group.
Introduction (20 minutes) � Introduce the task to the class, using OHT 1 (page 2 of the pupil booklet).
Explain that they are to describe the experience of being in the vicinity of avolcano eruption, using some information about a real event, to be lookedat in detail later in the lesson. Explain that descriptive writing uses selectivedetail carefully to help the reader imagine and visualise the scene/event.
� Ask pupils to highlight in their booklets, the audience, purpose and form ofthe task. Take brief feedback on this and clarify any misunderstanding.
� Introduce the “features of writing to describe”, as shown in the table onOHT 1 (page 2 of the pupil booklet) and explain that they are going to lookat how these features can be used by working on two simple sentences.
� Show OHT 2. Explain that both examples are taken from the journalaccount that they are going to read in the next part of the lesson. Askthem to look at Example 1, a basic sentence to which detail must beadded in order to create a vivid image in the mind of the reader. Talkthrough Example 1, drawing out how the original sentence has beenexpanded to provide descriptive detail. Then ask pupils, in pairs, to use thebasic sentence given in Example 2 to build a picture of threat and danger.
� Take selective feedback from some pairs on suggestions they have madefor Example 2.
Development (35 minutes)� Show the Captain’s Journal entry, OHT 3 (page 4 of the pupil booklet).
Encourage pupils to highlight, in their booklets, any descriptions that helpthem picture the events being recounted, as you read.
� After reading out the model entry, collect suggestions from the class ofdescriptions that they think are particularly effective. Ask the class to pointout which of the examples fit the features on OHT 1.
� Ask for feedback on the way the writer has expanded the sentence on OHT 2.
4 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
� Explain that you are now going to look in more detail at the first threeparagraphs on OHT 4. Below, in the table, is an annotated version of OHT 4, matching examples to the features on the checklist. Go througheach feature in turn and draw out in discussion how each featurecontributes to the overall descriptive effect.
5© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Text Annotations on features
Looking at the sea now, I could never haveimagined that what we’d had to endure less thana week ago could have had such a devastatingeffect on our small community: families withoutfathers, mothers without sons.
It began early on Thursday morning, only minutesafter leaving shore. As I looked through mytelescope due west, the sea was flat calm, and the deepest blue, reflecting a cloudless sky. To aninexperienced eye, the view held no danger, butthe instruments and the horizon told medifferently. Squalls, which signal a storm, layominously in wait, their silhouettes likemountains, laden with snow.
Ahead, the sea stretched out, like a carpet,enticing me. Unfortunately, I had no choice but tocarry on with my journey. The delivery wasessential to the survival of Pelican Harbour: theyhad been snowed in for more than a week andthis was their lifeline. The radio hailed me.Knowing it would be the Coastguard, Ben, I answered, although I knew that he would be trying to dissuade me from the voyage. I confirmed my route and that I would keep in contact.
Vary sentences for clarity,purpose and effect:opening phrase toestablish setting andposition the reader.
Connectives used forjoining ideas together:phrase establishing timesequence.
Language used to createimages: a picture iscreated for the reader.
Imaginative treatment ofmaterial: a backgroundstory has been created toadd detail for the reader.
� Direct pupils to do the same with the remaining four paragraphs of thejournal entry, looking for one example of each feature on the checklist. To make it easier, pupils can number the highlighted examples, correlatingwith the checklist on OHT 1.
� Take feedback from a few pupils about their decisions and the reasons forthem. Clarify any misunderstanding about any of the features and correctany that are not on the features checklist. Remind pupils that they aregoing to write their own eyewitness account in a similar style.
� Show the fact sheet about the Mount St Helens eruption, OHT 5 (page 6of the pupil booklet). Explain that these are some facts about a realvolcano eruption that happened in 1980. Ask pupils to read through theinformation and select, by highlighting in their booklets, some detail thatthey might want to include in their eyewitness account.
Plenary (5 minutes) � Take selective feedback from some pupils about the detail they have
chosen and the reasons for their choice. Remind them of the task they willbe doing next lesson.
At this point the teacher may wish to introduce some further stimulus, forexample photographs of a volcano erupting or video footage.
6 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
LESSON 2 � Remind pupils of the learning objectives for these two lessons.
Introduction (20 minutes) � Direct pupils’ attention to the Mount St Helens fact sheet (page 6 of the
pupil booklet) and remind pupils of their task and the information theyselected in the previous lesson. Show the planning sheet, OHT 6 (page 7of the pupil booklet), and ask pupils to transfer the information that theywant to include in their description from page 6 onto the planning sheet onpage 7/OHT 6.
� Remind the class that they have to translate the information into a detaileddescription. Read a small section of the Captain’s Journal to give them anidea. Demonstrate how to create a description from the fact sheet on OHT 5. There is a suggestion below. As you are writing, explain to theclass how the writing meets the features on OHT 1.
Fact sheet information: 8.30 – ash and steam emerge from volcano top
Demonstration: The day had only just started. People were eating breakfast, driving towork, walking the dog. All seemed normal. The sky was blue and the sun was warming the ground. I looked out of the window to check whether ornot to peg out the washing, when, in the distance, I noticed that the usualsilhouette of the Mountain was blurred by what appeared to be a lone,dense, storm cloud.
� Ask the class for suggestions for composing the next sentence. Elicit suggestions which would create a vivid picture of the beginning of the eruption. Briefly discuss some of the suggestions and possibleimprovements.
� Look again at the features checklist on OHT 1. Ask pupils to write theopening sentence for each of the sections they have chosen on theirplanning sheet, bearing in mind the features required.
� Ask the class to share their sentences with the pupil next to them andsuggest to each other how they might restructure or further develop the sentence.
7© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Development (40 minutes) � Explain that they are now going to write their own eyewitness account of a
volcanic eruption based on the information in the fact sheet. Emphasisethat they need to write in imaginative detail so that the reader can picturethe experience for themselves. Remind pupils to make use of the modeltext, the checklist of writing features and their planning sheet to help themwrite. They should start writing on page 8 of the pupil booklet.
These are not test conditions so prompt pupils if necessary (e.g. to writemore, to explain themselves more clearly and so on). Do not, however, providesupport of a kind that means that pupils are no longer responding to the taskindependently. If this kind of support is necessary for an individual in thecontext of the lesson, you will need to take the degree of support into accountwhen making the assessment judgement.
It is good practice to: � tell pupils if they have not written enough or are writing too much; � prompt them to explain their answer more clearly; � generally encourage them; � clarify a question or issue for the whole class if there seems to be a fairly
general misunderstanding; � remind pupils how much time they have left to complete the task.
� In the last ten minutes, ask pupils to check their work for technicalaccuracy and against the checklist of writing features. They should tick thefeature when they have found evidence that it has been addressed.
Assessment � Use the marking guidelines to judge pupils’ overall levels on the specified
assessment focuses. Highlight, then tick, the sections of the markingguidelines according to the features you find and then consider whetherthe weight of evidence is at secure or low level 4, 5 or 6.
� Annotated exemplar responses for each question at every level are alsoincluded for reference and to give guidance on how the criteria are to be applied.
8 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
These materials have been developed by QCA in partnership with the Secondary National Strategy.
The help provided by the teachers and pupils who have trialled the materials as part of the Monitoring Pupils’ Progress in English project has been invaluable.
9© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
OHT 1/page 2 of pupil bookletTask and features of writing to describe
Task:
Write a descriptive account of a volcano eruption, from the point of view of aneyewitness, for a geography textbook to be studied in year 7.
Features of writing to describe Included in own account
1 Sentences varied for clarity, purpose and effect
2 Imaginative treatment of material
3 Language used to create images
4 Connectives used for joining ideas together
10 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
OHT 2/page 3 of pupil bookletBasic sentence activity
Example 1:
The sea was calm.
As I looked through my telescope due west, the sea was flat calmand the deepest blue, reflecting a cloudless sky.
Example 2:
The boat was being thrown thirty metres.
11© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
OHT 3/page 4 of pupil bookletModel text: Captain’s Journal
Eyewitness account: Captain’s Journal
Looking at the sea now, I could never have imagined that what we’d had to endureless than a week ago could have had such a devastating effect on our smallcommunity: families without fathers, mothers without sons.
It began early on Thursday morning, only minutes after leaving shore. As I lookedthrough my telescope due west, the sea was flat calm and the deepest blue, reflectinga cloudless sky. To an inexperienced eye, the view held no danger, but the instrumentsand the horizon told me differently. Squalls, which signal a storm, lay ominously inwait, their silhouettes like mountains, laden with snow.
Ahead, the sea stretched out, like a carpet, enticing me. Unfortunately, I had no choicebut to carry on with my journey. The delivery was essential to the survival of PelicanHarbour: they had been snowed in for more than a week and this was their lifeline.The radio hailed me. Knowing it would be the Coastguard, Ben, I answered, althoughI knew that he would be trying to dissuade me from the voyage. I confirmed my routeand that I would keep in contact.
Four hours into the journey, the howling winds had reached gale force. Even with thethrobbing engines on full, I could only just make headway. At this rate, I was in dangerof running out of fuel. As it was, I only had enough to reach my destination, not to getback. I knew that once I arrived, I would have to stay in Pelican until another boat couldweather the storm or until the snow plough could break through the mountain road.
At its peak, the boat was being thrown thirty metres and then plunged into troughsthat felt like they might reach the centre of the earth. I looked through the window.There was little visibility due to the constant bombardment by the waves. Wall afterwall of water presented themselves to our tiny boat. We had lost everything that wasnot battened down, the hold was full of water and we were listing to starboard. In amoment of clear air ahead of me, I caught sight of a tumultuous wave, greater thanany I’d ever seen. I had little time to act; I had to turn her otherwise we would havebeen somersaulted backwards to our deaths. As the mountain of a wave descendedover the boat, all daylight disappeared. I pictured my family, waiting at home. Theforce of the water drove me from my hiding place in the cockpit and bounced mearound for what seemed like an eternity, every move appearing in slow-motion.
Once the greatest impact had passed, I realised that I had lost all feeling in my armand that blood was gushing through a tear in my waterproofs. The violent pitchingcontinued, preventing me from finding a secure place to lie. I rolled myself up in aball, hoping that the next rock would wedge me in a corner. I waited, listening to thepounding of the waves, imagining with every crash that the boat would split apart.
Eventually, after an eternity, the undulating was lessening and I realised I’d survived.I carefully lifted my bruised body from the floor, trying to decide what to do next. I had few options, than to wait to be rescued. At least I had survived.
12 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
OHT 4/page 5 of pupil bookletExtract for exploration
Looking at the sea now, I could never haveimagined that what we’d had to endure less than aweek ago could have had such a devastating effecton our small community: families without fathers,mothers without sons.
It began early on Thursday morning, only minutesafter leaving shore. As I looked through mytelescope due west, the sea was flat calm and thedeepest blue, reflecting a cloudless sky. To aninexperienced eye, the view held no danger, butthe instruments and the horizon told medifferently. Squalls, which signal a storm, layominously in wait, their silhouettes like mountains,laden with snow.
Ahead, the sea stretched out, like a carpet, enticingme. Unfortunately, I had no choice but to carry onwith my journey. The delivery was essential to thesurvival of Pelican Harbour: they had been snowed infor more than a week and this was their lifeline. Theradio hailed me. Knowing it would be theCoastguard, Ben, I answered, although I knew that hewould be trying to dissuade me from the voyage. I confirmed my route and that I would keep in contact.
13© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
OHT 5/page 6 of pupil bookletFact sheet
Mount St Helens
Volcanic Eruption Fact Sheet
Location: Pine Creek, Washington State, North West Coast, USA.Date: 18th May 1980
Eruption day.....Eruption day.....Eruption day.....Eruption day.....Eruption day.....
Sequence of events:8.30: ash and steam emerge from volcano top8.32: earthquake measuring 5.4 on Richter Scale occurs8.33: side of mountain explodes:
– huge, boiling lava stream travels south-east at 700mph– steam, dust and rocks hurled up to 25km north, continuing all day
Consequences:
� Local villages destroyed
� 57 people dead
� 17-mile radius circle of destruction
� Ash encircled earth by day 8
Build-up to eruption day:
20th March: minor earth tremor1st–14th April: small daily eruptions.Mountainside bulged by 2.5mper day14th April: nearby villagesevacuated, but many returnedwithin days
14 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
OHT 6/page 7 of pupil bookletPlanning sheet
Detail:
Sentence:
Detail:
Sentence:
Detail:
Sentence:
Detail:
Sentence:
15© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
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raphs
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ara
gra
phs c
learly
str
uctu
re m
ain
id
eas a
cro
ss
text
to s
up
po
rt p
urp
ose
to
de
scri
be,
e.g
. lo
gic
al lin
ks
be
twe
en p
ara
gra
phs
•w
ithin
para
gra
phs/
se
ctio
ns,
a r
an
ge
of d
evic
es
support
cohesio
n, e.g
. se
cu
re u
se o
f p
rono
un
s,
co
nn
ectives,
refe
ren
ces
ba
ck to
text
•lin
ks b
etw
ee
n
pa
rag
rap
hs/
se
ctio
ns g
en
era
lly
ma
inta
ine
d a
cro
ss w
ho
le
text
•re
leva
nt
ide
as a
nd
m
ate
rial develo
ped w
ith
so
me
im
agin
ative
deta
il
•d
eve
lop
me
nt
of
idea
s
an
d m
ate
ria
l a
pp
rop
ria
tely
sh
ap
ed f
or
an e
ye
witn
ess
acco
un
t in
a s
ch
oo
l te
xt
•cle
ar
vie
wp
oin
t e
sta
blis
he
d,
ge
nera
lly
consis
tent, w
ith s
om
e
ela
bo
ratio
n,
e.g
. som
e,
un
eve
n, d
evelo
pm
en
t of
indiv
idual voic
e o
r ch
ara
cte
risa
tio
n in r
ole
•m
ain
pu
rpose o
f w
ritin
g
to d
escrib
e is c
lea
r a
nd
co
nsis
tently m
ain
tain
ed
•fe
atu
res o
f w
ritin
g a
n
eye
witn
ess a
cco
unt
cle
arly
esta
blis
he
d w
ith s
om
e
ad
ap
tatio
n t
o w
riting
to
describe
•appro
priate
sty
le c
learly
esta
blis
he
d t
o m
ain
tain
Y
ea
r 7
au
die
nce
’s inte
rest
thro
ug
hou
t
•vo
ca
bu
lary
ch
ose
n
for
effect o
f cre
ating
im
agery
•re
aso
nab
ly w
ide
vo
ca
bu
lary
use
d,
tho
ug
h
no
t a
lwa
ys a
pp
rop
ria
tely
corr
ect spelli
ng o
f:
•com
mon g
ram
matica
l fu
nction
word
s c
onsis
tently
•alm
ost all
infle
cte
d w
ord
s
•m
ost deri
vatio
nal suff
ixes,
e.g
. -ion
, -ise, -a
l/ia
l, -
able
/ible
•m
ost pre
fixes,
e.g
. dis
appe
ar,
un
cert
ain
, excla
im
likely
err
ors
:
•occasio
nal ph
onetica
lly
pla
usib
le s
pelli
ng in
conte
nt
wo
rds, e
.g. bo
ard
, a
csept,
hungre
y, te
ryfing
•double
conso
nants
in
pre
fixes,
e.g
. ir
regula
r,
unnece
ssary
IE
Ove
rall
asse
ssm
en
t (t
ick o
ne
bo
x o
nly
) S
ecu
re 6
L
ow
6
Se
cu
re 5
L
ow
5
Secondary
Nat
iona
l Str
ateg
yfo
r sc
hool
imp
rove
men
t
16 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
Mark
ing
gu
idelin
es –
Year
9 t
ask –
Eyew
itn
ess a
cco
un
t
Asse
ssin
g p
up
ils’ p
rog
ress in
En
glis
h a
t K
ey S
tag
e 3
Pupil
nam
e........................................................................................
Form
.................................
Date
...............................
A
F5
– v
ary
se
nte
nc
es
fo
r cla
rity
, p
urp
os
e a
nd
e
ffe
ct.
AF
6 –
wri
te w
ith
te
ch
nic
al
accu
rac
y o
f s
yn
tax a
nd
p
un
ctu
ati
on
…
AF
3 –
org
an
ise a
nd
p
resen
t w
ho
le t
exts
e
ffe
cti
ve
ly…
AF
4 –
co
nstr
uct
para
gra
ph
s a
nd
use
co
hesio
n w
ith
in a
nd
b
etw
een
para
gra
ph
s.
AF
1 –
wri
te i
ma
gin
ati
ve
, in
tere
sti
ng
an
d t
ho
ug
htf
ul
tex
ts.
AF
2 –
pro
du
ce t
exts
w
hic
h a
re a
pp
rop
riate
to
ta
sk, re
ad
er
an
d p
urp
ose.
AF
7 –
se
lec
t ap
pro
pri
ate
an
d
eff
ec
tive
vo
ca
bu
lary
.
AF
8 –
use c
orr
ect
sp
ellin
g.
L5
•a v
ariety
of sente
nce
length
s, str
uctu
res a
nd
su
bje
cts
pro
vid
es c
larity
a
nd
em
ph
asis
•w
ide
r ra
ng
e o
f co
nn
ective
s u
sed
to
cla
rify
re
latio
nsh
ip
be
twe
en
id
eas,
e.g
. g
rad
ua
lly,
next,
m
eanw
hile
•so
me fe
atu
res o
f sente
nce s
tructu
re u
sed
to b
uild
up
deta
il o
r co
nve
y s
ha
des o
f m
eanin
g, e.g
. vari
atio
n in
w
ord
ord
er,
modals
in
verb
phra
ses
•fu
ll ra
ng
e o
f p
unctu
atio
n
use
d a
ccu
rate
ly t
o
dem
arc
ate
sente
nces,
inclu
din
g s
peech
punctu
ation, w
here
appro
priate
•syn
tax a
nd
pu
nctu
atio
n
with
in t
he s
en
tence
ge
ne
rally
accu
rate
inclu
din
g
com
mas to m
ark
cla
uses,
tho
ug
h s
om
e e
rrors
occu
r w
he
re a
mb
itio
us s
tru
ctu
res
are
att
em
pte
d
•m
ate
rial is
str
uctu
red
cle
arl
y,
with
se
nte
nce
s
org
an
ised
into
ap
pro
pri
ate
p
ara
gra
phs
•d
eve
lop
me
nt
of
mate
ria
l is
effe
ctive
ly m
an
ag
ed
a
cro
ss te
xt,
e.g
. clo
se
re
fers
back to o
penin
g
•o
ve
rall
dire
ctio
n o
f th
e
text
su
pp
ort
ed
by c
lea
r lin
ks
be
twe
en
pa
rag
raphs
•p
ara
gra
phs c
learly
str
uctu
re m
ain
id
eas a
cro
ss
text
to s
up
po
rt p
urp
ose
to
de
scri
be,
e.g
. lo
gic
al lin
ks
be
twe
en p
ara
gra
phs
•w
ithin
para
gra
phs/
se
ctio
ns,
a r
an
ge
of d
evic
es
support
cohesio
n, e.g
. se
cu
re u
se o
f p
rono
un
s,
co
nn
ectives,
refe
ren
ces
ba
ck to
text
•lin
ks b
etw
ee
n
pa
rag
rap
hs/s
ectio
ns
genera
lly m
ain
tain
ed a
cro
ss
wh
ole
te
xt
•re
leva
nt
ide
as a
nd
m
ate
rial develo
ped w
ith
so
me
im
agin
ative
deta
il
•d
eve
lop
me
nt
of
idea
s
an
d m
ate
ria
l a
pp
rop
ria
tely
sh
ap
ed f
or
an e
ye
witn
ess
acco
un
t in
a s
ch
oo
l te
xt
•cle
ar
vie
wp
oin
t e
sta
blis
he
d,
ge
nera
lly
consis
tent, w
ith s
om
e
ela
bo
ratio
n,
e.g
. som
e,
un
eve
n, d
evelo
pm
en
t of
indiv
idual voic
e o
r ch
ara
cte
risa
tio
n in r
ole
•m
ain
pu
rpose o
f w
ritin
g
to d
escrib
e is c
lea
r a
nd
co
nsis
tently m
ain
tain
ed
•fe
atu
res o
f w
ritin
g a
n
eye
witn
ess a
cco
unt
cle
arly
esta
blis
he
d w
ith s
om
e
ad
ap
tatio
n t
o w
riting
to
describe
•appro
priate
sty
le c
learly
esta
blis
he
d t
o m
ain
tain
Y
ea
r 7
au
die
nce
’s inte
rest
thro
ug
hou
t
•vo
ca
bu
lary
ch
ose
n
for
effect o
f cre
ating
im
agery
•re
aso
nab
ly w
ide
vo
ca
bu
lary
use
d,
tho
ug
h
no
t a
lwa
ys a
pp
rop
ria
tely
corr
ect spelli
ng o
f:
•com
mon g
ram
matica
l fu
nction
word
s c
onsis
tently
•alm
ost all
infle
cte
d w
ord
s
•m
ost deri
vatio
nal suff
ixes,
e.g
. -ion
, -ise, -a
l/ia
l, -
able
/ible
•m
ost pre
fixes,
e.g
. dis
appear,
uncert
ain
, excla
im
likely
err
ors
:
•occasio
nal ph
onetica
lly
pla
usib
le s
pelli
ng in
conte
nt
wo
rds, e
.g. bo
ard
, a
csept,
hungre
y, te
ryfing
•double
conso
nants
in
pre
fixes,
e.g
. ir
regula
r,
unnece
ssary
L4
•som
e a
ttem
pt
to v
ary
le
ng
th,
str
uctu
re a
nd
su
bje
ct of se
nte
nces
•use o
f som
e
su
bo
rdin
ating
co
nn
ective
s,
e.g
. if,
when,
be
ca
use
•so
me
va
ria
tio
n,
genera
lly a
ccura
te, in
te
nse
and
ve
rb f
orm
s
•se
nte
nce
s d
em
arc
ate
d
accura
tely
thro
ughout th
e
text,
inclu
din
g q
ue
stio
n
mark
s
•sp
eech
ma
rks,
if u
se
d,
genera
lly a
ccura
te, w
ith
so
me
oth
er
pu
nctu
atio
n
with
in t
he m
ark
s
•com
mas u
sed in lis
ts
an
d o
cca
sio
na
lly t
o m
ark
cla
use
s,
alth
ou
gh n
ot
alw
ays a
ccura
tely
•id
ea
s a
re o
rga
nis
ed
by
clu
ste
rin
g r
ela
ted
poin
ts
•id
ea
s a
re o
rga
nis
ed
sim
ply
with
a f
ittin
g o
pe
nin
g
and c
losin
g, possib
ly lin
ked
•id
ea
s o
r m
ate
ria
l g
en
era
lly in
lo
gic
al
se
qu
ence b
ut
ove
rall
dire
ctio
n o
f w
ritin
g o
ften
not
cle
arl
y s
igna
lled
•p
ara
gra
phs/s
ectio
ns
he
lp t
o o
rga
nis
e c
on
tent,
e.g
.m
ain
id
ea u
su
ally
su
pp
ort
ed o
r e
lab
ora
ted b
y
follo
win
g s
en
tences
•w
ithin
para
gra
phs/
se
ctio
ns,
limite
d r
an
ge
of
co
nn
ective
s b
etw
ee
n
se
nte
nce
s,
e.g
. over-
use o
f “a
lso
” o
r p
ron
oun
s
•so
me
atte
mp
ts t
o
esta
blis
h s
imp
le lin
ks
be
twe
en
pa
rag
rap
hs/
se
ctio
ns n
ot
alw
ays
ma
inta
ine
d,
e.g
. Late
r, n
ext
•re
leva
nt
ide
as a
nd
conte
nt chosen
•so
me
id
ea
s a
nd m
ate
ria
l d
eve
lop
ed
in
deta
il, e
.g.
descriptions e
labora
ted
by
ad
ve
rbia
l a
nd
exp
an
de
d
no
un
ph
rases
•str
aig
htf
orw
ard
vie
wp
oin
t g
en
era
lly
esta
blis
hed a
nd m
ain
tain
ed,
e.g
.m
ain
tain
ing a
consis
tent sta
nce
•m
ain
pu
rpose o
f w
ritin
g
to d
escrib
e is c
lea
r b
ut
no
t a
lwa
ys c
onsis
tently
main
tain
ed
•m
ain
fea
ture
s o
f w
ritin
g
an
eye
witn
ess a
ccou
nt
are
cle
ar
an
d a
pp
ropri
ate
to
pu
rpo
se o
f de
scri
ptio
n
•sty
le g
en
era
lly
ap
pro
priate
to t
ask,
thou
gh
aw
are
ness o
f Y
ear
7
au
die
nce n
ot
alw
ays
susta
ined
•so
me
evid
en
ce o
f delib
era
te v
ocabula
ry
ch
oic
es t
o d
escrib
e
•so
me
exp
an
sio
n o
f g
en
era
l vo
ca
bu
lary
to
m
atc
h topic
of
revis
ion
corr
ect spelli
ng o
f:
•m
ost com
mon g
ram
matical
function
word
s, e.g
. you,
because
,alth
ough
•m
ost ad
verb
s w
ith -
lyfo
rmatio
n
likely
err
ors
:
•hom
oph
ones o
f co
mm
on
gra
mm
atical fu
nction
word
s,
e.g
. th
ey’re/t
heir/th
ere
, o
f/have/o
ff
•occasio
nal ph
onetica
lly
pla
usib
le s
pelli
ng in
conte
nt
wo
rds, e
.g. bo
ard
, a
csept,
hungre
y, te
ryfing
•occasio
nal in
flecte
d w
ord
s,
e.g
.-e
s,
-ed, -i
es, -ie
d, -e
r,
-est, -
ier,
-ie
st, -
ing
B4
IE
Ove
rall
asse
ssm
en
t (t
ick o
ne
bo
x o
nly
) S
ecu
re 5
L
ow
5
Se
cu
re 4
L
ow
4
Be
low
4
Secondary
Nat
iona
l Str
ateg
yfo
r sc
hool
imp
rove
men
t
17© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Level 4: Response and commentary
Frequentphoneticallyplausiblespelling (AF8 L3 b2)
Main purpose ofwriting todescribe is clear(AF2 L4 b1)
Sections help toorganise content(AF4 L4 b1)
Materialgenerally inlogical sequence(AF3 L4 b3)
Correct spellingof words withinflectedendings (AF8 L4 b5)
Straightforwardviewpointestablished andmaintained(AF1 L4 b3)
Sentencesdemarcatedaccurately, (AF6 L4 b1) butsome evidencestill of comma-splicing
Some expansionof vocabulary tomatch topic (AF7 L4 b2)
Some attempt tovary length andstructure ofsentences (AF5 L4 b1)
Withinparagraphs,some use ofconnectivesbetweensentences (AF4 L4 b2)
This response selects and elaborates relevant material, adopting a straightforwardeyewitness viewpoint (AF1) and establishing an appropriate style that attempts toemphasise the nature of the disaster by means of contrasting description of previousbeauty (AF2). The account is logically sequenced, with some clustering of related pointsinto paragraphs (AF3) and with some use of connectives within the two paragraphs tosupport cohesion (AF4). Some attempt is made to vary the length and structure ofsentences (AF5), but the demarcation of sentences is not always secure, and there is littleuse of other punctuation (AF6). Vocabulary choices are generally appropriate to the topic(AF7). Although there are few errors in the spelling of words with inflected endings (AF8),there are frequent phonetically plausible spellings.
For most of the assessment focuses, there is evidence of the pupil addressing the level 4criteria and in many cases fulfilling these quite confidently. Hence the overall judgementis secure level 4.
Annotated exemplar responses
18 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
Mark
ing
gu
idelin
es –
Year
9 t
ask –
Eyew
itn
ess a
cco
un
t
Level 4 e
xam
ple
Asse
ssin
g p
up
ils’ p
rog
ress in
En
glis
h a
t K
ey S
tag
e 3
Pupil
nam
e........................................................................................
Form
.................................
Date
...............................
A
F5
– v
ary
se
nte
nc
es
fo
r cla
rity
, p
urp
os
e a
nd
e
ffe
ct.
AF
6 –
wri
te w
ith
te
ch
nic
al
accu
rac
y o
f s
yn
tax a
nd
p
un
ctu
ati
on
…
AF
3 –
org
an
ise a
nd
p
resen
t w
ho
le t
exts
e
ffe
cti
ve
ly…
AF
4 –
co
nstr
uct
para
gra
ph
s a
nd
use
co
hesio
n w
ith
in a
nd
b
etw
een
para
gra
ph
s.
AF
1 –
wri
te i
ma
gin
ati
ve
, in
tere
sti
ng
an
d t
ho
ug
htf
ul
tex
ts.
AF
2 –
pro
du
ce t
exts
w
hic
h a
re a
pp
rop
riate
to
ta
sk, re
ad
er
an
d p
urp
ose.
AF
7 –
se
lec
t ap
pro
pri
ate
an
d
eff
ec
tive
vo
ca
bu
lary
.
AF
8 –
use c
orr
ect
sp
ellin
g.
L5
•a v
ariety
of sente
nce
length
s, str
uctu
res a
nd
su
bje
cts
pro
vid
es c
larity
a
nd
em
ph
asis
•w
ide
r ra
ng
e o
f co
nn
ective
s u
sed
to
cla
rify
re
latio
nsh
ip
be
twe
en
id
eas,
e.g
. g
rad
ua
lly,
next,
m
eanw
hile
•so
me fe
atu
res o
f sente
nce s
tructu
re u
sed
to b
uild
up
deta
il o
r co
nve
y s
ha
des o
f m
eanin
g, e.g
. vari
atio
n in
w
ord
ord
er,
modals
in
verb
phra
ses
•fu
ll ra
ng
e o
f p
unctu
atio
n
use
d a
ccu
rate
ly t
o
dem
arc
ate
sente
nces,
inclu
din
g s
peech
punctu
ation, w
here
appro
priate
•syn
tax a
nd
pu
nctu
atio
n
with
in t
he s
en
tence
ge
ne
rally
accu
rate
inclu
din
g
com
mas to m
ark
cla
uses,
tho
ug
h s
om
e e
rrors
occu
r w
he
re a
mb
itio
us s
tru
ctu
res
are
att
em
pte
d
•m
ate
rial is
str
uctu
red
cle
arl
y,
with
se
nte
nce
s
org
an
ised
into
ap
pro
pri
ate
p
ara
gra
phs
•d
eve
lop
me
nt
of
mate
ria
l is
effe
ctive
ly m
an
ag
ed
a
cro
ss te
xt,
e.g
. clo
se
re
fers
back to o
penin
g
•o
ve
rall
dire
ctio
n o
f th
e
text
su
pp
ort
ed
by c
lea
r lin
ks
be
twe
en
pa
rag
raphs
•p
ara
gra
phs c
learly
str
uctu
re m
ain
id
eas a
cro
ss
text
to s
up
po
rt p
urp
ose
to
de
scri
be,
e.g
. lo
gic
al lin
ks
be
twe
en p
ara
gra
phs
•w
ithin
para
gra
phs/
se
ctio
ns,
a r
an
ge
of d
evic
es
support
cohesio
n, e.g
. se
cu
re u
se o
f p
rono
un
s,
co
nn
ectives,
refe
ren
ces
ba
ck to
text
•lin
ks b
etw
ee
n
pa
rag
rap
hs/s
ectio
ns
genera
lly m
ain
tain
ed a
cro
ss
wh
ole
te
xt
•re
leva
nt
ide
as a
nd
m
ate
rial develo
ped w
ith
so
me
im
agin
ative
deta
il
•d
eve
lop
me
nt
of
idea
s
an
d m
ate
ria
l a
pp
rop
ria
tely
sh
ap
ed f
or
an e
ye
witn
ess
acco
un
t in
a s
ch
oo
l te
xt
•cle
ar
vie
wp
oin
t e
sta
blis
he
d,
ge
nera
lly
consis
tent, w
ith s
om
e
ela
bo
ratio
n,
e.g
. som
e,
un
eve
n, d
evelo
pm
en
t of
indiv
idual voic
e o
r ch
ara
cte
risa
tio
n in r
ole
•m
ain
pu
rpose o
f w
ritin
g
to d
escrib
e is c
lea
r a
nd
co
nsis
tently m
ain
tain
ed
•fe
atu
res o
f w
ritin
g a
n
eye
witn
ess a
cco
unt
cle
arly
esta
blis
he
d w
ith s
om
e
ad
ap
tatio
n t
o w
riting
to
describe
•appro
priate
sty
le c
learly
esta
blis
he
d t
o m
ain
tain
Y
ea
r 7
au
die
nce
’s inte
rest
thro
ug
hou
t
•vo
ca
bu
lary
ch
ose
n
for
effect o
f cre
ating
im
agery
•re
aso
nab
ly w
ide
vo
ca
bu
lary
use
d,
tho
ug
h
no
t a
lwa
ys a
pp
rop
ria
tely
corr
ect spelli
ng o
f:
•com
mon g
ram
matica
l fu
nction
word
s c
onsis
tently
•alm
ost all
infle
cte
d w
ord
s
•m
ost deri
vatio
nal suff
ixes,
e.g
. -ion
, -ise, -a
l/ia
l, -
able
/ible
•m
ost pre
fixes,
e.g
. dis
appear,
uncert
ain
, excla
im
likely
err
ors
:
•occasio
nal ph
onetica
lly
pla
usib
le s
pelli
ng in
conte
nt
wo
rds, e
.g. bo
ard
, a
csept,
hungre
y, te
ryfing
•double
conso
nants
in
pre
fixes,
e.g
. ir
regula
r,
unnece
ssary
L4
•som
e a
ttem
pt
to v
ary
le
ng
th,
str
uctu
re a
nd
su
bje
ct of se
nte
nces
•use o
f som
e
su
bo
rdin
ating
co
nn
ective
s,
e.g
. if,
when,
be
ca
use
•so
me
va
ria
tio
n,
genera
lly a
ccura
te, in
te
nse
and
ve
rb f
orm
s
•se
nte
nce
s d
em
arc
ate
d
accura
tely
thro
ughout th
e
text,
inclu
din
g q
ue
stio
n
mark
s
•sp
eech
ma
rks,
if u
se
d,
genera
lly a
ccura
te, w
ith
so
me
oth
er
pu
nctu
atio
n
with
in t
he m
ark
s
•com
mas u
sed in lis
ts
an
d o
cca
sio
na
lly t
o m
ark
cla
use
s,
alth
ou
gh n
ot
alw
ays a
ccura
tely
•id
ea
s a
re o
rga
nis
ed
by
clu
ste
rin
g r
ela
ted
poin
ts
•id
ea
s a
re o
rga
nis
ed
sim
ply
with
a f
ittin
g o
pe
nin
g
and c
losin
g, possib
ly lin
ked
•id
ea
s o
r m
ate
ria
l g
en
era
lly in
lo
gic
al
se
qu
ence b
ut
ove
rall
dire
ctio
n o
f w
ritin
g o
ften
not
cle
arl
y s
igna
lled
•p
ara
gra
phs/s
ectio
ns
he
lp t
o o
rga
nis
e c
on
tent,
e.g
.m
ain
id
ea u
su
ally
su
pp
ort
ed o
r e
lab
ora
ted b
y
follo
win
g s
en
tences
•w
ithin
para
gra
phs/
se
ctio
ns,
limite
d r
an
ge
of
co
nn
ective
s b
etw
ee
n
se
nte
nce
s,
e.g
. over-
use o
f “a
lso
” o
r p
ron
oun
s
•so
me
atte
mp
ts t
o
esta
blis
h s
imp
le lin
ks
be
twe
en
pa
rag
rap
hs/
se
ctio
ns n
ot
alw
ays
ma
inta
ine
d,
e.g
. Late
r, n
ext
•re
leva
nt
ide
as a
nd
conte
nt chosen
•so
me
id
ea
s a
nd m
ate
ria
l d
eve
lop
ed
in
deta
il, e
.g.
descriptions e
labora
ted
by
ad
ve
rbia
l a
nd
exp
an
de
d
no
un
ph
rases
•str
aig
htf
orw
ard
vie
wp
oin
t g
en
era
lly
esta
blis
hed a
nd m
ain
tain
ed,
e.g
.m
ain
tain
ing a
consis
tent sta
nce
•m
ain
pu
rpose o
f w
ritin
g
to d
escrib
e is c
lea
r b
ut
no
t a
lwa
ys c
onsis
tently
main
tain
ed
•m
ain
fea
ture
s o
f w
ritin
g
an
eye
witn
ess a
ccou
nt
are
cle
ar
an
d a
pp
ropri
ate
to
pu
rpo
se o
f de
scri
ptio
n
•sty
le g
en
era
lly
ap
pro
priate
to t
ask,
thou
gh
aw
are
ness o
f Y
ear
7
au
die
nce n
ot
alw
ays
susta
ined
•so
me
evid
en
ce o
f delib
era
te v
ocabula
ry
ch
oic
es t
o d
escrib
e
•so
me
exp
an
sio
n o
f g
en
era
l vo
ca
bu
lary
to
m
atc
h topic
of
revis
ion
corr
ect spelli
ng o
f:
•m
ost com
mon g
ram
matical
function
word
s, e.g
. you,
because
,alth
ough
•m
ost ad
verb
s w
ith -
lyfo
rmatio
n
likely
err
ors
:
•hom
oph
ones o
f co
mm
on
gra
mm
atical fu
nction
word
s,
e.g
. th
ey’re/t
heir/th
ere
, o
f/have/o
ff
•occasio
nal ph
onetica
lly
pla
usib
le s
pelli
ng in
conte
nt
wo
rds, e
.g. bo
ard
, a
csept,
hungre
y, te
ryfing
•occasio
nal in
flecte
d w
ord
s,
e.g
.-e
s,
-ed, -i
es, -ie
d, -e
r,
-est, -
ier,
-ie
st, -
ing
B4
IE
Ove
rall
asse
ssm
en
t (t
ick o
ne
bo
x o
nly
) S
ecu
re 5
L
ow
5
Se
cu
re 4
L
ow
4
Be
low
4
Secondary
Nat
iona
l Str
ateg
yfo
r sc
hool
imp
rove
men
t
19© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Level 5: Response and commentary
Variety ofsentencestructureprovides clarityand emphasis(AF5 L5 b1)
Overall directionof the textsupported byparagraph links(AF3 L5 b3)
Writingstructured withsentencesorganised intoappropriateparagraphs (AF3 L5 b1)
Links betweenparagraphsgenerallymaintained (AF4 L5 b3)
Relevant ideasdeveloped withsomeimaginativedetail (AF1 L5 b1)
Clear viewpoint(AF1 L5 b3) andfeatures ofeyewitnessaccount (AF2 L5 b2)established
Main purpose ofwriting todescribe clearand consistentlymaintained (AF2 L5 b1)
Reasonably wide,appropriatevocabulary used(AF7 L5 b2)
Withinparagraphs,connectives andpronounssupport cohesion(AF4 L5 b2)
Paragraphsclearly structuremain ideas (AF4 L5 b1)
Some errors inendings ofinflected words(AF8 L4 b5)
Sentencesdemarcatedaccuratelythroughout(AF6 L4 b1)
20 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
This is a confidently organised response (AF3), selecting and developing relevant subjectmatter with some elaboration (AF1) and establishing and maintaining appropriatefeatures for an eyewitness description of events (AF2). Material is organised intoparagraphs (AF3) that provide a structure for subject matter, and coherence and cohesionare further supported by the use of connectives both within and between paragraphs(AF4). Sentence structure is varied for effect and emphasis (AF5), and sentencedemarcation is consistently accurate but with little use of other punctuation (AF6). A reasonably wide range of vocabulary is used (AF7), but there are a number of spellingmistakes, including endings of inflected words (AF8).
For most of the assessment focuses, there is evidence of the pupil addressing the level 5criteria and fulfilling these in many cases quite confidently. Hence the overall judgementis secure level 5.
21© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Mark
ing
gu
idelin
es –
Year
9 t
ask –
Eyew
itn
ess a
cco
un
t
Level 5 e
xam
ple
Asse
ssin
g p
up
ils’ p
rog
ress in
En
glis
h a
t K
ey S
tag
e 3
Pupil
nam
e........................................................................................
Form
.................................
Date
...............................
A
F5
– v
ary
se
nte
nc
es
fo
r cla
rity
, p
urp
os
e a
nd
e
ffe
ct.
AF
6 –
wri
te w
ith
te
ch
nic
al
accu
rac
y o
f s
yn
tax a
nd
p
un
ctu
ati
on
…
AF
3 –
org
an
ise a
nd
p
resen
t w
ho
le t
exts
e
ffe
cti
ve
ly…
AF
4 –
co
nstr
uct
para
gra
ph
s a
nd
use
co
hesio
n w
ith
in a
nd
b
etw
een
para
gra
ph
s.
AF
1 –
wri
te i
ma
gin
ati
ve
, in
tere
sti
ng
an
d t
ho
ug
htf
ul
tex
ts.
AF
2 –
pro
du
ce t
exts
w
hic
h a
re a
pp
rop
riate
to
ta
sk, re
ad
er
an
d p
urp
ose.
AF
7 –
se
lec
t ap
pro
pri
ate
an
d
eff
ec
tive
vo
ca
bu
lary
.
AF
8 –
use c
orr
ect
sp
ellin
g.
L5
•a v
ariety
of sente
nce
length
s, str
uctu
res a
nd
su
bje
cts
pro
vid
es c
larity
a
nd
em
ph
asis
•w
ide
r ra
ng
e o
f co
nn
ective
s u
sed
to
cla
rify
re
latio
nsh
ip
be
twe
en
id
eas,
e.g
. g
rad
ua
lly,
next,
m
eanw
hile
•so
me fe
atu
res o
f sente
nce s
tructu
re u
sed
to b
uild
up
deta
il o
r co
nve
y s
ha
des o
f m
eanin
g, e.g
. vari
atio
n in
w
ord
ord
er,
modals
in
verb
phra
ses
•fu
ll ra
ng
e o
f p
unctu
atio
n
use
d a
ccu
rate
ly t
o
dem
arc
ate
sente
nces,
inclu
din
g s
peech
punctu
ation, w
here
appro
priate
•syn
tax a
nd
pu
nctu
atio
n
with
in t
he s
en
tence
ge
ne
rally
accu
rate
inclu
din
g
com
mas to m
ark
cla
uses,
tho
ug
h s
om
e e
rrors
occu
r w
he
re a
mb
itio
us s
tru
ctu
res
are
att
em
pte
d
•m
ate
rial is
str
uctu
red
cle
arl
y,
with
se
nte
nce
s
org
an
ised
into
ap
pro
pri
ate
p
ara
gra
phs
•d
eve
lop
me
nt
of
mate
ria
l is
effe
ctive
ly m
an
ag
ed
a
cro
ss te
xt,
e.g
. clo
se
re
fers
back to o
penin
g
•o
ve
rall
dire
ctio
n o
f th
e
text
su
pp
ort
ed
by c
lea
r lin
ks
be
twe
en
pa
rag
raphs
•p
ara
gra
phs c
learly
str
uctu
re m
ain
id
eas a
cro
ss
text
to s
up
po
rt p
urp
ose
to
de
scri
be,
e.g
. lo
gic
al lin
ks
be
twe
en p
ara
gra
phs
•w
ithin
para
gra
phs/
se
ctio
ns,
a r
an
ge
of d
evic
es
support
cohesio
n, e.g
. se
cu
re u
se o
f p
rono
un
s,
co
nn
ectives,
refe
ren
ces
ba
ck to
text
•lin
ks b
etw
ee
n
pa
rag
rap
hs/s
ectio
ns
genera
lly m
ain
tain
ed a
cro
ss
wh
ole
te
xt
•re
leva
nt
ide
as a
nd
m
ate
rial develo
ped w
ith
so
me
im
agin
ative
deta
il
•d
eve
lop
me
nt
of
idea
s
an
d m
ate
ria
l a
pp
rop
ria
tely
sh
ap
ed f
or
an e
ye
witn
ess
acco
un
t in
a s
ch
oo
l te
xt
•cle
ar
vie
wp
oin
t e
sta
blis
he
d,
ge
nera
lly
consis
tent, w
ith s
om
e
ela
bo
ratio
n,
e.g
. som
e,
un
eve
n, d
evelo
pm
en
t of
indiv
idual voic
e o
r ch
ara
cte
risa
tio
n in r
ole
•m
ain
pu
rpose o
f w
ritin
g
to d
escrib
e is c
lea
r a
nd
co
nsis
tently m
ain
tain
ed
•fe
atu
res o
f w
ritin
g a
n
eye
witn
ess a
cco
unt
cle
arly
esta
blis
he
d w
ith s
om
e
ad
ap
tatio
n t
o w
riting
to
describe
•appro
priate
sty
le c
learly
esta
blis
he
d t
o m
ain
tain
Y
ea
r 7
au
die
nce
’s inte
rest
thro
ug
hou
t
•vo
ca
bu
lary
ch
ose
n
for
effect o
f cre
ating
im
agery
•re
aso
nab
ly w
ide
vo
ca
bu
lary
use
d,
tho
ug
h
no
t a
lwa
ys a
pp
rop
ria
tely
corr
ect spelli
ng o
f:
•com
mon g
ram
matica
l fu
nction
word
s c
onsis
tently
•alm
ost all
infle
cte
d w
ord
s
•m
ost deri
vatio
nal suff
ixes,
e.g
. -ion
, -ise, -a
l/ia
l, -
able
/ible
•m
ost pre
fixes,
e.g
. dis
appear,
uncert
ain
, excla
im
likely
err
ors
:
•occasio
nal ph
onetica
lly
pla
usib
le s
pelli
ng in
conte
nt
wo
rds, e
.g. bo
ard
, a
csept,
hungre
y, te
ryfing
•double
conso
nants
in
pre
fixes,
e.g
. ir
regula
r,
unnece
ssary
L4
•som
e a
ttem
pt
to v
ary
le
ng
th,
str
uctu
re a
nd
su
bje
ct of se
nte
nces
•use o
f som
e
su
bo
rdin
ating
co
nn
ective
s,
e.g
. if,
when,
be
ca
use
•so
me
va
ria
tio
n,
genera
lly a
ccura
te, in
te
nse
and
ve
rb f
orm
s
•se
nte
nce
s d
em
arc
ate
d
accura
tely
thro
ughout th
e
text,
inclu
din
g q
ue
stio
n
mark
s
•sp
eech
ma
rks,
if u
se
d,
genera
lly a
ccura
te, w
ith
so
me
oth
er
pu
nctu
atio
n
with
in t
he m
ark
s
•com
mas u
sed in lis
ts
an
d o
cca
sio
na
lly t
o m
ark
cla
use
s,
alth
ou
gh n
ot
alw
ays a
ccura
tely
•id
ea
s a
re o
rga
nis
ed
by
clu
ste
rin
g r
ela
ted
poin
ts
•id
ea
s a
re o
rga
nis
ed
sim
ply
with
a f
ittin
g o
pe
nin
g
and c
losin
g, possib
ly lin
ked
•id
ea
s o
r m
ate
ria
l g
en
era
lly in
lo
gic
al
se
qu
ence b
ut
ove
rall
dire
ctio
n o
f w
ritin
g o
ften
not
cle
arl
y s
igna
lled
•p
ara
gra
phs/s
ectio
ns
he
lp t
o o
rga
nis
e c
on
tent,
e.g
.m
ain
id
ea u
su
ally
su
pp
ort
ed o
r e
lab
ora
ted b
y
follo
win
g s
en
tences
•w
ithin
para
gra
phs/
se
ctio
ns,
limite
d r
an
ge
of
co
nn
ective
s b
etw
ee
n
se
nte
nce
s,
e.g
. over-
use o
f “a
lso
” o
r p
ron
oun
s
•so
me
atte
mp
ts t
o
esta
blis
h s
imp
le lin
ks
be
twe
en
pa
rag
rap
hs/
se
ctio
ns n
ot
alw
ays
ma
inta
ine
d,
e.g
. Late
r, n
ext
•re
leva
nt
ide
as a
nd
conte
nt chosen
•so
me
id
ea
s a
nd m
ate
ria
l d
eve
lop
ed
in
deta
il, e
.g.
descriptions e
labora
ted
by
ad
ve
rbia
l a
nd
exp
an
de
d
no
un
ph
rases
•str
aig
htf
orw
ard
vie
wp
oin
t g
en
era
lly
esta
blis
hed a
nd m
ain
tain
ed,
e.g
.m
ain
tain
ing a
consis
tent sta
nce
•m
ain
pu
rpose o
f w
ritin
g
to d
escrib
e is c
lea
r b
ut
no
t a
lwa
ys c
onsis
tently
main
tain
ed
•m
ain
fea
ture
s o
f w
ritin
g
an
eye
witn
ess a
ccou
nt
are
cle
ar
an
d a
pp
ropri
ate
to
pu
rpo
se o
f de
scri
ptio
n
•sty
le g
en
era
lly
ap
pro
priate
to t
ask,
thou
gh
aw
are
ness o
f Y
ear
7
au
die
nce n
ot
alw
ays
susta
ined
•so
me
evid
en
ce o
f delib
era
te v
ocabula
ry
ch
oic
es t
o d
escrib
e
•so
me
exp
an
sio
n o
f g
en
era
l vo
ca
bu
lary
to
m
atc
h topic
of
revis
ion
corr
ect spelli
ng o
f:
•m
ost com
mon g
ram
matical
function
word
s, e.g
. you,
because
,alth
ough
•m
ost ad
verb
s w
ith -
lyfo
rmatio
n
likely
err
ors
:
•hom
oph
ones o
f co
mm
on
gra
mm
atical fu
nction
word
s,
e.g
. th
ey’re/t
heir/th
ere
, o
f/have/o
ff
•occasio
nal ph
onetica
lly
pla
usib
le s
pelli
ng in
conte
nt
wo
rds, e
.g. bo
ard
, a
csept,
hungre
y, te
ryfing
•occasio
nal in
flecte
d w
ord
s,
e.g
.-e
s,
-ed, -i
es, -ie
d, -e
r,
-est, -
ier,
-ie
st, -
ing
B4
IE
Ove
rall
asse
ssm
en
t (t
ick o
ne
bo
x o
nly
) S
ecu
re 5
L
ow
5
Se
cu
re 4
L
ow
4
Be
low
4
Secondary
Nat
iona
l Str
ateg
yfo
r sc
hool
imp
rove
men
t
22 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
Level 6: Response and commentary
Imaginativetreatment ofmaterials (AF1/2 L6 b1)and individualvoice established(AF1/2 L6 b2)
Materialis clearlycontrolled andsequenced (AF3 L6 b1), withparagraph topicsignalled andthen developed(AF4 L6 b1)
Controlled useof a range ofsentence lengthsand structureprovideemphasis (AF5 L6 b1)
Overall directionof the text issignalled (AF3 L6 b2)
Accurate use ofcommas to markclauses (AF6 L5 b2)
Occasionalphoneticallyplausiblespelling (AF8 L5 b5)
Varied andambitiousvocabularychoices (AF7 L6 b2)
More literarylanguage addsto effectivedescription(AF1/2 L6 b3)
23© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
This well-structured (AF3) and fluent response confidently develops the given subjectmatter in some detail, shaping it and adapting it effectively to provide a graphiceyewitness description of the disaster (AF1/2). Material is organised into paragraphs whichare clearly linked and sequenced for effect and which begin by signalling thedevelopment of another phase in the account (AF4). A range of sentence structures isdeployed to contribute to the overall impact of the description, and sentencedemarcation and the use of commas to mark clauses is accurate, although there is littleuse of other punctuation (AF6). Vocabulary choices are often ambitious and deliberatelymade for effect (AF7) and there are few spelling errors (AF8).
For all the assessment focuses, there is evidence of the pupil addressing the level 6criteria, and, in most cases, fulfilling them with some confidence and authority. Hence theoverall judgement is secure level 6.
24 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
Mark
ing
gu
idelin
es –
Year
9 t
ask –
Eyew
itn
ess a
cco
un
t
Level 6 e
xam
ple
Asse
ssin
g p
up
ils’ p
rog
ress in
En
glis
h a
t K
ey S
tag
e 3
Pupil
nam
e........................................................................................
Form
.................................
Date
...............................
A
F5
– v
ary
se
nte
nc
es
fo
r cla
rity
, p
urp
os
e a
nd
e
ffe
ct.
AF
6 –
wri
te w
ith
te
ch
nic
al
accu
rac
y o
f s
yn
tax a
nd
p
un
ctu
ati
on
…
AF
3 –
org
an
ise a
nd
p
resen
t w
ho
le t
exts
e
ffe
cti
ve
ly…
AF
4 –
co
nstr
uct
para
gra
ph
s a
nd
use
co
hesio
n w
ith
in a
nd
b
etw
een
para
gra
ph
s.
AF
1 –
wri
te i
ma
gin
ati
ve
, in
tere
sti
ng
an
d t
ho
ug
htf
ul
tex
ts.
AF
2 –
pro
du
ce t
exts
w
hic
h a
re a
pp
rop
riate
to
ta
sk, re
ad
er
an
d p
urp
ose.
AF
7 –
se
lec
t ap
pro
pri
ate
an
d
eff
ec
tive
vo
ca
bu
lary
.
AF
8 –
use c
orr
ect
sp
ellin
g.
L6
•co
ntr
olle
d u
se
of
a
variety
of sim
ple
and
co
mp
lex s
ente
nce
s t
o
achie
ve p
urp
ose a
nd
co
ntr
ibute
to o
ve
rall
eff
ect
•co
nfid
ent
use o
f a
ran
ge
of se
nte
nce
featu
res to c
larify
or
em
ph
asis
e m
ean
ing
, e.g
. fr
onte
d a
dverb
ials
“R
elu
cta
ntly,
he…
”, “
Fiv
e
da
ys late
r, it…
”,com
ple
x
no
un
or
pre
po
sitio
na
l p
hra
ses
•syn
tax a
nd
fu
ll ra
nge
of
pu
nctu
atio
n a
re c
on
sis
tently
accu
rate
in a
va
rie
ty o
f sente
nce s
tructu
res, w
ith
occa
sio
na
l err
ors
in
am
bitio
us s
tru
ctu
res,
e.g
. only
occasio
nal com
ma
sp
lice
s; so
me u
se
of se
mi-
colo
ns,
not
alw
ays a
ccura
te
•m
ate
rial is
cle
arly
co
ntr
olle
d a
nd s
eq
ue
nce
d,
takin
g a
cco
unt
of th
e
rea
de
r’s lik
ely
re
actio
n,
e.g
.,
para
gra
phs o
f diffe
ring
len
gth
s,
refe
rence t
o f
act
file
, perh
aps fla
shback
•a
ra
ng
e o
f fe
atu
res
cle
arl
y s
igna
l o
ve
rall
direction o
f th
e text fo
r th
e
reader,
e.g
. openin
g
pa
rag
rap
hs th
at
intr
od
uce
events
cle
arly, para
gra
ph
ma
rke
rs,
links b
etw
ee
n
para
gra
phs
•co
nstr
uctio
n o
f p
ara
gra
phs c
learly s
up
po
rts
meanin
g a
nd p
urp
ose, e.g
. para
gra
ph topic
sig
nalle
d
and then d
evelo
ped,
with
ho
ldin
g o
f in
form
atio
n
for
effect, th
em
atic lin
ks
be
twe
en p
ara
gra
phs
•w
ith
in p
ara
gra
phs,
co
hesiv
e d
evic
es c
on
trib
ute
to
em
phasis
an
d e
ffe
ct,
e.g
. a
dve
rbia
ls a
s s
ente
nce
sta
rte
rs
•im
ag
ina
tive
tre
atm
en
t of
ma
teria
ls,
e.g
. cre
ation
of
a
chara
cte
r and b
ackgro
und
, fa
mili
arity
with
co
nve
ntio
ns o
f a
d
escriptive
eye
witn
ess a
cco
un
t, a
da
ptin
g t
he
m w
he
n
ne
ed
ed
to s
uit Y
ea
r 7
au
die
nce
, n
ot
alw
ays s
uccessfu
lly,
e.g
.delib
era
teuse o
fpers
onal re
sponse, cle
ar
em
phasis
on
de
scriptio
n r
ath
er
tha
n s
eq
ue
nce o
f eve
nts
•a
cro
ss a
ra
ng
e o
f w
ritin
g, co
nvin
cin
g,
ind
ivid
ua
l vo
ice
e
sta
blis
he
d a
nd
mostly s
usta
ine
d t
hro
ug
ho
ut,
e.g
. a
uth
orita
tive e
xp
ert
vie
w,
irre
ve
rent
resp
on
se t
o m
ate
ria
l
•a
cro
ss a
ra
ng
e o
f w
ritin
g,
leve
l o
f fo
rmalit
y u
se
d f
or
an
eye
witn
ess a
cco
unt
ge
ne
rally
ap
pro
pria
te a
nd
a r
ang
e o
f sty
listic d
evic
es u
se
d t
o a
ch
ieve
eff
ect,
not
alw
ays
su
ccessfu
lly,
e.g
. co
ntr
olle
d info
rma
lity,
gen
era
lisa
tio
ns o
r sh
ifts
betw
ee
n r
ecou
nt
sty
le a
nd m
ore
lite
rary
la
ng
ua
ge
•vo
ca
bu
lary
ch
ose
n
ge
ne
rally
ap
pro
priate
to
pu
rpo
se o
f de
scri
bin
g t
o
Ye
ar
7 p
up
ils
•ra
ng
e o
f vo
ca
bu
lary
g
en
era
lly v
arie
d a
nd
o
ften
am
bitio
us,
eve
n
tho
ug
h c
ho
ice
s n
ot
alw
ays a
pt
ge
ne
rally
co
rrect
spe
llin
g
thro
ug
hou
t
like
ly e
rro
rs:
•o
cca
sio
na
l err
ors
in
am
bitio
us o
r co
mp
lex w
ord
s
L5
•a v
ariety
of sente
nce
length
s, str
uctu
res a
nd
su
bje
cts
pro
vid
es c
larity
a
nd
em
ph
asis
•w
ide
r ra
ng
e o
f co
nn
ective
s u
sed
to
cla
rify
re
latio
nsh
ip
be
twe
en
id
eas,
e.g
. g
rad
ua
lly,
next,
m
eanw
hile
•so
me fe
atu
res o
f sente
nce s
tructu
re u
sed
to b
uild
up
deta
il o
r co
nve
y s
ha
des o
f m
eanin
g, e.g
. vari
atio
n in
w
ord
ord
er,
modals
in
verb
phra
ses
•fu
ll ra
ng
e o
f p
unctu
atio
n
use
d a
ccu
rate
ly t
o
dem
arc
ate
sente
nces,
inclu
din
g s
peech
punctu
ation, w
here
appro
priate
•syn
tax a
nd
pu
nctu
atio
n
with
in t
he s
en
tence
ge
ne
rally
accu
rate
inclu
din
g
com
mas to m
ark
cla
uses,
tho
ug
h s
om
e e
rrors
occu
r w
he
re a
mb
itio
us s
tru
ctu
res
are
att
em
pte
d
•m
ate
rial is
str
uctu
red
cle
arl
y,
with
se
nte
nce
s
org
an
ised
into
ap
pro
pri
ate
p
ara
gra
phs
•d
eve
lop
me
nt
of
mate
ria
l is
effe
ctive
ly m
an
ag
ed
a
cro
ss te
xt,
e.g
. clo
se
re
fers
back to o
penin
g
•o
ve
rall
dire
ctio
n o
f th
e
text
su
pp
ort
ed
by c
lea
r lin
ks
be
twe
en
pa
rag
raphs
•p
ara
gra
phs c
learly
str
uctu
re m
ain
id
eas a
cro
ss
text
to s
up
po
rt p
urp
ose
to
de
scri
be,
e.g
. lo
gic
al lin
ks
be
twe
en p
ara
gra
phs
•w
ithin
para
gra
phs/
se
ctio
ns,
a r
an
ge
of d
evic
es
support
cohesio
n, e.g
. se
cu
re u
se o
f p
rono
un
s,
co
nn
ectives,
refe
ren
ces
ba
ck to
text
•lin
ks b
etw
ee
n
pa
rag
rap
hs/
se
ctio
ns g
en
era
lly
ma
inta
ine
d a
cro
ss w
ho
le
text
•re
leva
nt
ide
as a
nd
m
ate
rial develo
ped w
ith
so
me
im
agin
ative
deta
il
•d
eve
lop
me
nt
of
idea
s
an
d m
ate
ria
l a
pp
rop
ria
tely
sh
ap
ed f
or
an e
ye
witn
ess
acco
un
t in
a s
ch
oo
l te
xt
•cle
ar
vie
wp
oin
t e
sta
blis
he
d,
ge
nera
lly
consis
tent, w
ith s
om
e
ela
bo
ratio
n,
e.g
. som
e,
un
eve
n, d
evelo
pm
en
t of
indiv
idual voic
e o
r ch
ara
cte
risa
tio
n in r
ole
•m
ain
pu
rpose o
f w
ritin
g
to d
escrib
e is c
lea
r a
nd
co
nsis
tently m
ain
tain
ed
•fe
atu
res o
f w
ritin
g a
n
eye
witn
ess a
cco
unt
cle
arly
esta
blis
he
d w
ith s
om
e
ad
ap
tatio
n t
o w
riting
to
describe
•appro
priate
sty
le c
learly
esta
blis
he
d t
o m
ain
tain
Y
ea
r 7
au
die
nce
’s inte
rest
thro
ug
hou
t
•vo
ca
bu
lary
ch
ose
n
for
effect o
f cre
ating
im
agery
•re
aso
nab
ly w
ide
vo
ca
bu
lary
use
d,
tho
ug
h
no
t a
lwa
ys a
pp
rop
ria
tely
corr
ect spelli
ng o
f:
•com
mon g
ram
matica
l fu
nction
word
s c
onsis
tently
•alm
ost all
infle
cte
d w
ord
s
•m
ost deri
vatio
nal suff
ixes,
e.g
. -ion
, -ise, -a
l/ia
l, -
able
/ible
•m
ost pre
fixes,
e.g
. dis
appe
ar,
un
cert
ain
, excla
im
likely
err
ors
:
•occasio
nal ph
onetica
lly
pla
usib
le s
pelli
ng in
conte
nt
wo
rds, e
.g. bo
ard
, a
csept,
hungre
y, te
ryfing
•double
conso
nants
in
pre
fixes,
e.g
. ir
regula
r,
unnece
ssary
IE
Ove
rall
asse
ssm
en
t (t
ick o
ne
bo
x o
nly
) S
ecu
re 6
L
ow
6
Se
cu
re 5
L
ow
5
Secondary
Nat
iona
l Str
ateg
yfo
r sc
hool
imp
rove
men
t