Excerpt from "How to Make White People Laugh," by Negin Farsad

8/16/2019 Excerpt from "How to Make White People Laugh," by Negin Farsad

1/40HowToMakeWhite_HCtextF1.indd 4/19/16 9:067:078

C H A P T E R 10

A Taxonomy of Hater s

! "o#$%e ne%e& t&a%e'ed the (&eat ex)an*e o! the+ nited ,tate*- "o#$&e i**in( o#t. A* a o i - $%e

een to a 'o t o! )'a/e*. $%e d&i%ena 'ot o! /a&*-and $%e *atin and / o& na))ed in e%en o&e /a&*.ha%e *een #'ti'ane ! &ee 1 wa"*- *in('e 'ane &oadwa"*-inte&*tate*- *e&%i/e &oad*-and o!! &a )*. $%e d&i%enon )o&o#* a*)ha't- &ein!o&/ed on /&ete ta& a/- and(&a%e'. $%e een!oo'ed too an" ti e* " ini *)eed

# ) *2 the kind that ake "o# think "o # ha%e a !'atti&e. Then "o#$&e 'ike3 h no- don$t ha%e a !'a t- $

#*ton one o! tho*e &oad* with the ini *)eed # ) *-what a&e tho*e thin(* /a''ed A akin( #) thete& mini speed bump - o& a *o e kind o! t&an*) o &tatio n ex)e&t who*e /o and o! !&eewa"

a&(on /o e* nat#&a '' "5 The*e a&e the kind* o! tho#(ht* $d ha%e in- 'et$* *a"- the &oad* o! ea*te&n

ent#/k". i/e )'a/e- (&eat wa''e"e !i*hin( .3 h- and A e&i/a- *he i* a ea#t8 Wood" #th&ie

wa* &i( ht2 "o #$'' *ee an"thin( !&o the edwoodFo&e*t to


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A T A ; 3 3 M < 3 F H A T = : ,159

the #'! ,t&ea wate&*> "o#$'' a'*o *ee Wa!!'eHo #*e*- a andoned a''*- o!!i/e )a&k*- and *hootin(&an(e* w ith a * atte&in( o! dia ete*- ano&exia- and/&edit /a&d de t. ?&i%in( in the ,o#th i* )a&ti/#'a&'"!a*/inatin(- e / a#*e "o# *ee *wa )'and @and Wa!!'eHo #*e*A. 3 n the M u sli m s Are Coming! to#& we *aw ah#(e C o n! ede&a te !'a( *o e1 whe&e in eo&(ia

i''owin( in the wind @nea&a Wa!!'e H o #*eA. Weo %io#*'" needed to *to) and add thi* to o #&)hoto*t&ea - e/a#*e in Manhattan- it i* not e%e&"da" that "o# *ee a o'o**a' C o n! ede&ate !'a( *et in a) e&! e / t '" ani/#&ed !ie'd o! (&a**. Ta'k a o#t

a e*t". Tho#(h- a/t#a''"- *eein( that !'a( i* &athe&/o on)'a/e !o& *o e )a&t* o! the ,o#th- not a'')a&t*. We *to))ed to &o'' the /a e&a*. t wa* 'ike

takin( a )i/t#&e o! &a/i* - ex) &e**ed in o'd ti e"(&a)hi de*i(n. That wa* when a ( en t 'e an /a e o#tto a*k #* what we we&e doin(. He had the i en o! *o eone who knew how to #i'd a de/k with hi* a&ehand* whi'e &e/itin( Fa#'kne&. He in*)i&ed a /e&tainkind o! (entee' a*/#'ine ! ea&.

We ex/han(ed the #*#a' )'ea*ant&ie* that aand o! /o edian* wo#'d ex/han(e with the

)&o)&ieto& o! a *i( 1 ni!i/ant )a&/e' o! 'and*how a*in( a C o n! ede&a te !'a(. We ex)'ained thatwe hadn$t &ea''" *een a C o n! ede&a te !'a( o! *#/h

&eadth e!o&e- and that we &ea''" wante d to (et*o e !oota(e o! it. ow- when "o#$&e a #n h o!

&own o ed ian*2 w ith a !i' /&ew o! two whited#de* and a Batino ( #"2 "o # a" o& a" not *ti/ko#t in the ?ee) ,o#th. We wo#'d &e(#'a&'" )#t C'ai&

and T o &e" 2 the /ine ato(&a)he& and *e/ond /a e&a



o ) e&ato &2 ahe ad o! #* to /&eate a /a' in( e!!e/ton )a**e&* " in the*e i!! "



160 H 3 W T 3 M A 6 = W H T = D = 3 D B = BA + H

*it#ation*. C#t he&e we we&e */atte&ed a on( thee&&ant 'i%e*to/k that (&aEed a&o#nd the !'a(.

We ex)e/ted *o e kind o! F 9 et o!! "@*#) e&*iEedA 'awn G &e*)on*e- #t the an wa*a/t#a''" )'ea*ed tha t we we&e *hootin( !oota(e.Howe%e&- he wanted #* to know one thin(: F T hi*i*n$t a C o n! ede&ate !'a(- it$* a !'a( !&o the /o''e/tiono! e'e%en *tate* #*t a!te& the C o 'o 1 nia' e&a. G =&-*a" what



A T A ; 3 3 M < 3 F H A T = : , 161

thi* a( 'a*ted #nti' I001 The &e wa* a '&e ad " n te &ne t -we a '&e ad " t&ie d and te*ted the n( e e&a- )a &a / h#t e)ant* a e and went- " o the & had an A3 B a o#nt-we de %e '1 o)ed t'" non*ti/k )an*- e %e &"one had

i/ &ow a%e *- the 3'" )i * (a e* we &e he'd in At'anta!o& an in te &nat ion a ' a#dien e . . . and th&o#( h it a''-th&o#( h it all - thi* wa* the*tate a( o! e o&( ia . ean-I001 8558

We &e*)onded with */atte&ed: F3 h- &ea''" 3 h-o ka"- "eah- tota''" oo'- *weet- "eah- oo'- oo'- (otit- oo ' . . .G We !ini*hed !i' in(- ho))ed in the /a&and i ed ia te '" oo('ed F C o n! ede&ate !'a( G on

e%e&" de%i/e a%a i'a 'e #nti' we !o#nd o#t that- "e* Thi* wa* a C o n! ede&ate !'a( 7o t Fa !'a( !&o the/o''e/tion o! e'e%en *tate* #*t a!te& the /o'onia'e&aG2 tha t$* wa" too wo&d" !o& a !'a( =%en a !'a(!&o the nineteenth /ent#&" Tho*e ) eo ) 'e had *o e%e& a' !'o#&i*h- #tFa !'a( !&o the o'' e / tio n o! e'e%en *tate* #*t a!te& the Co'onia' e&aG i* 'ike #' ti1*"''a i/ o#th &a) e.

NO, SER IOUSL , THAT CON FEDER AT EFLAG !UST " ON #T $ UIT

3h- " ) &e %io#* *ide a & ake* it *o#nd 'ike eo&(ia wa*the on'" /a*e o! he ad 1*/ &at / hin( Con ! e de &at e a(/ o it e n t . Fo& an" o! "o# who 'i%ed th&o#( h I015-"o#$'' &e/a'' a ) a&1 ti/#'a&'" ho&&i!i/ a** *hootin( o!

'a/k )a &i*hion e &* d# &in(



16I H 3 W T 3 M A 6 = W H T = D = 3 D B = BA+ H

a Ci 'e *t#d" at a hi*to&i/a''" 'a/k /h#&/h in ,o#thCa&o' ina . The *ho o te & had )o*ted )hoto* o! hi *e'!

with a Con ! e d1 e &at e a(- a we *ite with white*#) &e a / i*t ideo'o("- a nd o the & #)*ettin( ! a &e. Then

e %e &"on e *#dden'" &e e e &e d that the Con ! e de &at ea( wa* indeed !'"in( o%e & the *tat e a)ito' o! ,o#th

Ca &o' ina . Fo&a week- )o'iti ian* o! e %e &" *t&i) e -in '#din( ,o#th Ca &o' ina$* own (o %e &no&- de / &ie d the

a(- wanted it taken o!! )# 'i ( &o#nd*. t e%en t&e nde don Twitt e &- *o "o# know it wa* im po r ta n t . C#t a ! te & a'' o!

that 2 the a))a''in( *hootin(- the end'e** &heto&i/-the no n*to ) ) #ndit*2 a C )o'' *howed that 57

) e &/ e n t o! A e &i/ a n* don$t think the !'a( i* a *i(n o! &a/i* . A on( , o#t he &n white* a'one- 75 ) e &/ e n t o!

the don$t think it$* a *i(n o ! &a/i* . Whe &e a * 75) e &/ e n t o! , o#t he &n A!&i/anA e &i/ a n* do *ee it a* a *i(no! &a/i* . ,o a*i/a''"- o*t white ) eo) 'e think the a(i* 'ike- eh- no i( dea'- it$* a *i(n o! , o#t h1 e&n) &ide -

what$* the ) &o 'e 5 That i* ) &o a ' " a ) &o 'e .e %e &the 'e **- a ! te & the nationa' he in( and hawin(-o th ho#*e* o! the ,o#th Ca &o' ina 'e ( i*'at# &e %oted

to take it down. The (o %e &no & * hed#'ed the &e o%a '

! o& a o#)'e o ! da"* 'ate&- when the a( wo#'d eo%ed to a #*e# t hat ) &o a '" ha* a ( &e at hate!#'

thin(* o''e tion.G The &e o%a ' o! the !'a( wa*- in a wo &d-/ e &e o nia '. 3 & in th&ee wo &d*: Ce &. =. Monia'. ,e%e&a'

hono& ( #a &d* in white ('o%e* ( in( e &'" han1 d'ed the !'a(-akin( *#&e that the *" o' o! &a/i* and i( 1 ot&"

wo#'dn$t (et * #d(ed. The !'a( i(ht ha%e &e ) &e *e nte da *ha e!#' / ha)t e & in the nation$* hi*to&" o! *'a%e&"- #t

'e t$* ake *#&e none o! the ! a &i/ n*.3n a tota''"#n&e 'at e d



A T A ; 3 3 M < 3 F H A T = : , 16K

note- t he &e wa* no e!!o&t ade on the i**#e o! (#n / on t&o'.e a#*e the ) a &i*hion e &* we &e *hot with a ( *.

@



164 H 3 W T 3 M A 6 = W H T = D = 3 D B = BA + H

NO REALL , THE FLAG IS STILL HANGING ON

3h- " ) &e %io#* two *ide a &* ake* it *o#nd 'ike

e o&( ia and ,o#th Ca &o' ina we &e the on'" /a*e* o! he ad 1*/ &at / hin( Con ! e de &at e a( o it ent. T#&n*o#t- the Con ! e de &at e a( i* a'*o a ) a&t o! theMi**i**i))i *tate a(. The" ha%e no )'an* to &e o %e it.

di en*ion* and n#an/e*. ha%e (athe&ed he&e a taxo no "to ex)'ain *o e o! the *)e/ie* in the (en#* Ha te.

FUN FACT% & USLI & S USED TO 'E SLA(ES, TOO)

That$* &i( h t : L#*t when "o# tho#(ht the &e wa* noo%e &'a ) 1 )in( the e- #*t when "o# tho#(ht &ea''"/o#'dn$t / &e at e that 'a k M#*'i onne tion that *o"e a &ne d !o& in o'



A T A ; 3 3 M < 3 F H A T = : , 165

'e(e- hit "o# #) with thi* !#n hi*to&i/a' !a t: *o e o! the ea&'" *'a%e* we &e i( o'$ M#EEie*.



ht t ) ://!i%ethi&t" ei( ht. 'o ( *.n"t i e*./ o /I01I /05 /I1 /*win( 1%o te&*1and1e 'a*ti/ 1*tate*/.

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166 H 3 W T 3 M A 6 = W H T = D = 3D B = BA + H

The"$&e ideo'o(i/a' *'#t* wi''in( to e )e&*#aded !&oone a ) to anothe&. The"$&e tota''" no n o i tt a '2'ike the en $%e da te d2 the" i(ht /a'' "o#- the"

i(ht not a'' "o#- it$* an" )#ndit$* @o& *#!!e&in(wo an$*A ( #e**.

Bike the *win( %ote& in e'e/to&a''" /o%eted *tate*'ike 3hio and han(in( had F' o &ida2 the *win( hate&

i* on the !en/e a o#t whethe& to hate. The" /an e/on%in/ed to hate o& not to hate. The *win( hate& i*whe&e think we /an win *o e i( %ote*. Ce/a#*e thi*!'a( an- he &ea''" didn$t *ee to ind that a #n ho! ino&itie* we&e on hi* ) &o ) e&t" . ! we had in%itedhi o#t to a #) o! o!!ee- he ) &o a '" wo#'d ha%ea//e)ted. He 'ike* people . C#t he wa* &a i*ed with thi*!'a(- and !&ank'"- (i%en the (eo(&a)h" o! whe&e we

!o#nd hi - he wa*n$t a&o#nd #/h di%e&*it".He hada h#(e 'ind *)ot a o#t what the !'a( eant tono nwhite - non ,o#the&n )eo)'e. 3 n/ e that 'ind *)ot(et* !i''ed w ith in!o& ation and ex)o*#&e- the *win(hate& t#&n* into a *win( 'o%e&. @3 h wait- F *win('o %e&G ha* a tota''" d i!! e&en t onnotation- #t "o#know what $ (ettin( at.A

Thi* kind o! thinkin( &e*t* on the notion that people ca n

change their minds . The&e a&e tho*e o! "o# who don$tthink tha t$* ) o **i 'e2 $ 'ookin( at "o#- C#& #d(eonM/ , o #&1 )#**. ! "o# think that attit#de /han(e i*n$t)o**i 'e- then how an "o# ex)'ain (a" a&&ia(e

The *tati*ti/* on ( a" a&&ia(e ha%e /han(ed *od&a ati/a''" that "o# wo#'d think

And a//o&din( to thi* )a)e& !&o the C&ookin(* n*tit#tion:

Wi''ia . Ma"e&- F W ha t =xa/t'" * a ,win( Note& ?e!initionand Mea*#&e1 ent-G C&ookin(* n*tit#tion-ht t ) : / /ww w . & oo ki n( *.ed# /O/ ed ia /) &e* *

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/ oo k*/I008 /*w in( %o te&ina e&i/an ) o 'i t i/ */*w in( %o te&ina e&i/an ) o 'iti/ * _ /ha)t e&.)d ! .



A T A ; 3 3 M < 3 F H A T = : ,167

Ci'' 3 $ ei''" ha* /o e o#t o! the /'o*et with hi* 'o%e&'enn Ce/k- and the" $&e (oin( to &ide into the *#n*et

to(ethe& @&i( ht a!te& 'enn d&aw* 'itt'e hea&t* on hi*/h a 'k o a&dA. n I001-57 )e&/ent o! A e&i/an* o))o*ed (a" a&&ia(e- K5) e&/ en t *#))o&ted it- and *#*)e/t that that #ndi*/'o*ed8 ) e&/ en t we&e )i/kin( thei& no*e* and the *#&%e"o&

didn$t want to ta 'k to the .I

C" the ti e o! thi* w&itin(-55 )e&/ent *#)) o &te d (a" a&&ia(e and K9 )e&/ento))o*ed it. That$* what *o ia' */ienti*t* /a'' F !'i)) in(*hit a&o #nd .G That$* not #*t e/ a#*e a&&ia(e denie&*ha%e died o!!. 3 h no- e%en when "o# &eak down the*tati*ti/ " a(e (&o#) "o# !ind that a " oo e&*- !o&exa )'e- went !&o KI )e&/ent *#))o&tin( (a" a&&ia( eto 45 )e&/ent *#))o&tin( (a" a&&ia(e. That$* e/a#*e

pe o ple change their m ind s.=%an(e'i/a'* ha%e (one th&o#(h the o*t

*t#nn in( /han(e on thi* */o&e. The*e we&e the *a e)eo)'e who a'wa"* #*ed the oke that od /&eatedAda and =%e- no t Ada and ,te%e @that !e't o'd e%enwhen it wa* new- i! "o # know what ean . The*ewe&e the !i&e and &i *to ne )eo)'e. t *ee ed 'ikethe" wo#'d ne%e& /han(e. And "et - one &e)o&t *how*

that thei& *#))o&t o! (a" a&&ia(e wen t !&o I0)e&/ent in I00K to 4I )e&/ent in I014. K Can "o#

e'ie%e it The e%an(e'i/a'* =. Nan. 9 e 'i/ a '* The h# an &ain i* a i( !at ne#&o)'a*ti/ %ideo (a e

I. The )i/kin( no*e theo&" on the #ndi*/'o*ed 8 )e&/ent i* ine a'one.C#t the othe& *tati*ti/* a&e !&o the Dew e*ea&/h C ente &- whe&e an"(&eat *ta1 ti*ti/* a&e o&n: Dew e*ea&/h C ente &- L# '" I9-I015-htt ) ://www .) ew! o.o &( /I015 /07 /I9 /( &a) hi/ *1*' ide*how1/h an( in( 1att it#de*1on1( a"1

a&&ia( e /.



K. ='iEa eth ?ia*- FHow =%an(e'i a'* A&e Chan(in( Thei& Mind*on a" Ma&&ia ( e -G Time - Lan #a&" I5- I015- ht t ) : / /ti e . / o /K 6 6 9 0I 4 /e %a n ( e 'i /a '*1( a"1 a&&ia ( e /.

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168 H 3 W T 3 M A 6 = W H T = D = 3D B = BA + H

with thin(a a i(* *endin( oo)* and ee)* towho *a1 a/a''it* a'on( %a&io#* di!!e&ent de'i%e&"&o#te*. T ho *e oo)* *o eti e* e o e ee)*-and ee)* *o e ti e * o&)h into oo ) *- and &i(htt#&n* e/o e 'e!t- and 'e! t t#&n* de/ide to (o *t&ai(ht-

e/a#*e the &ain wa* de*i( ned to han(e. What $*a"in( i*- $ a ne#&o*/ienti*t and thi* )a&a(&a)h i*

tanta o#nt to (oin( to edi/a' */h oo '.4

FORGOTTEN O'!ECTS OF HATE THROUGH HISTOR

Hat e &* (onna hate #t *o eti e* the" ne('e t) e o)'e - )'a/e*- o& thin(* wo&th" o! a &ea' !i*t /#&'. Thi* i*

a 'i*t that ha*n$t (otten eno#(h attention in theAnna'* o! 3 ! !i/ ia ' Hate. The" a&e the *ide* tohi*to&"$* o&e o %io#*'" %i'e *# e/t*- 'ike Hit 'e &.PP i!! !&o ' a *+ to t,e F- t - r e

PP o**i) / o '# ni*t*PPAwa &d* *how !a*hion/ o e n tat o&*PP=xxonPPDeo)'e who *e'' de &i%at i%e*PPDeo)'e who &a ( a o#t the i& C'# &a"

'i &a&ie *PP The &e / i) ie n t* o! the *tate ent Wh" "o# (ottahat e 5GPPDeo)'e who de */ &i e a o%ie the" #*t *aw in too #/hde ta i'PP The kid who didn$t )i/k A &aha Bin/ o' n !o& hi*

dod(e a'' tea in *e ond ( &a dePPMon*ant o

4. ! the&e$* an"thin( "o# *ho#'d ha%e 'ea&ned " /ha)te& 10 o! thi*ook- it$* that $ not a ne#&o*/ienti*t. n !a/t- tha t$* the one thin(



want )eo)'e to take awa" !&o thi* ook: F , he$* not ane#&o */ ienti*t .G



A T A ; 3 3 M < 3 F H A T = : , 169

PPF'i) !'o) enth#*ia*t*PP , ok e &* who o%e&(e*ti #'ate with 'it / i( a&e tt e *PPWo&kaho'i * who ake e %e &"on e 'ook ad e%en

tho#(h e %e &"on e $* no& a'PPDeo)'e who w&ite 'i*ti/'e* @that $* e APP The )eo)'e who *ta &te d a e & ateGPP The )eo)'e &e *) on *i 'e !o& #'ti)'e &e oo t* o! a ! &an/ hi*ePP The (#" who in%ented hi(h hee'*

Haters 2.0: TheT r o lls

o hate taxono " wo#'d e o )'ete witho#t'ookin( at the ode&n da" di(ita' hate&. The*e a&e

"o#& '# nati/ * and a**ho'e*- %e& in and te*-on*te&* and a / ko !! *- "o#& de(ene&ate* and

dia o'i/a' %i''ain* who 2 #nde& the (#i*e o! ano n" i t"2 ) o ) #' ate the /o ent *e/tion o! a'' nte&net *ite*e%e&"whe &e.

Bike o*t ethni/ 'adie*- !e a'e /o edian*-! e a 'e*- and h# an* who ha%e %i*ited the nte&net-

ha%e een hated on &ea' ha&d " thi* de%oted (&o#)o! %i'ent i *1 anth&o)e*. M" %oi e and no*e ha%e

een /&iti/iEed on



170 H 3 W T 3 M A 6 = W H T = D = 3D B = BA + H

and ai' #*t )'ain o'd a))&e/iatin( " wo&k. 3 ! o#&*e the !an ai' i* de 'i( ht! #' 2 who wo#'d

)&etend o the&1 wi*e C#t the hate ai'- that ane a* en o"a 'e a* a Da) * ea&.He&e i*a ni!t" 'i*t o! *o e o! the /o ent* $%e &e/ ei%ed

on the nte &ne t:

PP wat hed and "o# we&e d i*( #*tin(.PP



A T A ; 3 3 M < 3 F H A T = : , 171

PP $ *o&&"i! "o# *#!!e& !&o ea'o#*" that "o#ne%e&had what it take* to e a &ea' an.

PP T hi* i* the kind o! idio/" that kee)* *i*(oin(.PP



hat e &. At the ti e- the i&)hone n# e & wa* 'i*ted ande a#*e ine i*n$t- the hat e &



17I H 3 W T 3 M A 6 = W H T = D = 3 D B = BA + H

'ooked #) " )a &e n t*$ n# e &. The" *aid *o ethin('ike We know what "o#& da# ( h te & doe* and *he$*#n1A e &i/ an- and "o# a&e- too- and i! *he kee)* doin(

what *he$* do in( *he$'' *#!! e & the on*eJ#en e*.G,o ethin( 'ike that. M" dad de'eted the %oi/e ai' in a!it o! an( e &2 ha%e 'e a &ne d that " )a &e n t* don$t 'ike&e / e i%in( death t h&e at * on " e ha '! . The" a'*o don$t'ike that &e ei%e death th&eat*. /an$t *a" that $!ond o! it- e ithe &. Mo*t'"- wo#'d 'ike e %e &"on e to 'ea%e

" )a &e n t* o#t o! it. The"$&e &ea''" ni/e )eo)'e. Wa "ni/e& than e. A'*o- $ a o edian. How i* death a) &o 1 )o&tionate &e* ) on *e to not 'ikin( " oke* What i! *o e one &e ak* "o#& 'e( What wo#'d "o#& &e *) on *e

e to that 5 Wo#'d it a'*o e death Ce/a#*e- *ee- it$*we i&d ! o& not 'ikin( oke*G and &oke n 'e(G to e &it the*a e &e *) on *e . A o&e&e a*on e d &e *) on *e wo#'d e not 'i*tenin( to "/ o e d" .



A T A ; 3 3 M < 3 F H A T = : ,17K

&ead the /o ent* had a wa" o&e )o'a&iEed %iew o! the /ontent* o! the a/t#a' a&ti/'e. 5

T&o''* /&eate /on!'i/t whe&e the&e i(ht e no neth&o#(h Twitte& wa&*- ex)onentia''" (&owin(

o en t*- and need'e** a/k and !o&th*. The" /&eate#'ti)'e iden titie* to *end the *a e hate!#'e**a(e. The" ake n o i*e whe&e the&e$* no &ea'

noi*e- #*t one *hitt" t&o'' ein( a eanie. That$*&i(ht- the" $&e meanies - and the" t&eat t he nte&net 'ikeit$* a */hoo'"a&d !o& thei& #'' " in(.

When *ee a t&o''- t&" not to en(a(e- e/a#*e i! "o # en(a(e- "o# e*/a'ate. t$* 'ike that 'a e a/te&iain "o #&(#t that !eed* o!! o! *#(a&. C#t o!! the*#(a& and the a/te&ia die*. t$* ha&d to /#t it o!!-

e/a#*e &o wn ie* a&e de'i/io#*.



174 H 3 W T 3 M A 6 = W H T = D = 3D B = BA + H

Mo& on* a&e a'i(ned. Mo *t o! what )eo)'e knowo! the a&e !&o H C3 $* -ig .ove and &oadwa"$*

- oo of Mormon . ,o a*i/a''"- the Mo& on* a&eon*ide&ed a )eo)'e who ha%e a 'ot o! wi%e* with

who the" &eak o#t into ho&eo(&a)hed*on( and dan e n# e&*. $ no t *a"in( $ ea'o#* o! thi* F #' ti) 'e w i%e*G *te&eot")e- # t it doe* ha%e a

(ent'e& &in( to it than F te &&o &i*t.G6

Be*t we !o&(et- the&e a&e Mo& on !e ini*t* o#tthe&e who wi'' te'' "o# )o'"(a " i* no 'on(e& a thin(a o n( )o'ite Mo& on *o/iet" #t a'*o that the /h#&/h*ti'' den ie* wo en the )&ie*thood. T#&n* o#t- 'ike a''othe& &e 'i( io n*- Mo& on* a&en $t witho#t thei& )&o 'e *and !i**#&e*. C# t a'a*- the" *ti'' *ho#'dn$t e *o

a'i(ned.

C#t di(&e**. M" )oint i*- wa* *tandin( in ,a'tBake Cit" in !&ont o! the ain Mo& on Te )'e withex/ e '' en t !e''ow /o edian* ?ean 3 eida '' ah and

a&ee 3 a&"- and wa* ho'din( a *i(n that *a"*-,-. a m - s / 0m . ! "o#$%e ne%e& *tood in !&onto! aMo& on te )'e *o 'i/ itin( h#(*- "o# ha%en $t *tood.

Tho*e Mo& on* &o#(ht w ith the h#(* *o tende& andwa& - *o 'o%in( and i &th! #' 2 "eah- exa/t'" that-

i &th! #' 2 that it wa& ed the o/ k' e* o! " hea&t. M"hea&t /o/k'e* we&e ha&d- o %e& #&den ed and */a&&edwith 'itt'e )at/he* o! *now and )otho'e*. C#t tho*eMo& on*- an- ea h to# h * oothed o#t a ) ie/ e o! */a& ti**#e #nti' " /o/k'e* we&e a* * ooth a* , o!iaNe&(a&a$*/ a '%e*.

6. A'tho#(h- to e !ai&- M#*'i * a'*o (et the F #' ti)' e w i%e*G*te&eo t" ) e- #t it$* #*#a''" o%e&*hadowed " the F ext&e i *t%io' en/ eG one- *o " )oint *ti'' ho'd *.



A T A ; 3 3 M < 3 F H A T = : , 175

n the id*t o! thi* i&th!#' d i*) 'a"2 a di*)'a" that( a%e e the wee)* and *ent o#& a**o/iate )&od#/e&-Beona&d- to 'ite&a''" *o ehind a *tat#e o! a !a o#*Mo& on #nti' he o )o*ed hi *e '! 2 in the id*t o! thi* di*)'a"- the&e wa* a d#de who d&o%e #) to thead a/ent *to)'i(ht- &o''ed down hi* window- and whenthe 'i(ht t#&ned (&een- he "e''ed o # t hi* window- F9o

a k to "o#& own o#nt&" G He wa* d&i%1 in( awa" a*he *aid it- *o /o#'dn$t *ee what he 'ooked 'ike. t /o#'dha%e een a wo an with a %e&" (&a%e''" an%oi e. t

o#'d ha%e een a !e''ow &anian- )#ttin( on hi*e*t i(ot&" a//ent and )#''in( one o%e&on e2

who kno w*5 C#t $ )&ett" *#&e it wa* none o! tho*ethin(*- it wa* *i 1 )'" a (#" who hate* M#*'i *. Whatwa* wo&*e i* that he didn$t e%en *to) the /a& Thi*wa*n$t the !i&*t ti e thi* had ha))ened to #*. Thi*ha))ened to #* in othe& /itie* 'ike T# *on andCi& i n( ha 2 a 'wa"* *o e (#" at a *to ) 'i( ht-*# onin( hi* 'itt'e &a/i*t /o#&a(e- and then *a"in(*o e thin( ho&&i 'e a* he d&i%e* awa". The*e d&i%e "hate&* a&e eithe& /owa&d'" o& &ea''" #*" and ha%e*o ewhe&e to e.



176 H 3 W T 3 M A 6 = W H T = D = 3D B = BA + H

?&i%e " hate&* a&e a'*o the o*t 'ike'" to )#t a*wa*1 tika in thei& da*h oa&d window- # )e& *ti/ke&*that *a"- t , e r e #s a f e m0n 0s t 0n my t r -n + - and the 01 a n t yo- t o s2ea+ e n. / 0s , a& de a'*. The" wantto e &a/i*t w ith thei& a//e**o&ie* #t i(ht *to) *ho&to! a/t#a''" doin( an"thin( a o#t it. t$* kind o! 'iketeena(e&* who wea& %a&io#* ) #nk/ana&/h "1the ed

(ea& #t &e)o&t to (eo e t&" /'a** on ti e e%e&"da" and (et (ood ( &ade*.

?&i%e " hate&* a&ea'*o the o*t 'ike'" toon! #*e ,ikh* with M#*'i *. The" *ee a t#& an and

the" ha%e a knee e&k &ea/tion. n !a/t a *#&%e"*howed that a o # tI8 )e&/ent o! &e*)ondent* i*identi!ied a ,ikh a*Midd'e =a*te&n @the "$&e #*#a''" ndian .7 Ca*i/a''"-

wo#'dn$t *a" thi* (&o#) i* i( on &e*ea&/h o&a// #&a/ " .

wi'' *a" !o& the d&i%e " hate&*- that at 'ea*tthe"$&enot a* 'aE" a* the on'ine hate&*. Tho*e (#"* /an /'o/kin a !#'' da" o! i(ot&" witho#t 'ea%in( thei& 'a)to)*.7o w that$* l a/ y .

The “ M issi o n - O ri e n t e d Bigot Whoser o ! "#$$iliation iv e s The% & o v e r $or Hating'H a t e r

The&e i* anothe& /ate(o&": the 3 &( an iEedMi**ion13 &ien ted i(ot Who*e &o#) A!!i'iation

i%e* The Co%e& !o&Hatin( Hate&. t$* a wo&kin(

tit'e. The*e (#"* ha%e in*ti17. = a &een- F T he T&o# 'e with Wea&in( T#& an* in A e&i/ a -G



Atlantic - Lan #a&" I7- I015- ht t ) : / /ww w . thea t 'a n ti/ . / o /) o ' iti/ */a&/ h i% e/I015 /01 /th e1t&o # 'e1w ith 1wea&in( 1t#& an *1in1a e&i/a /K848KI /.

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A T A ; 3 3 M < 3 F H A T = : ,177

t#tiona' a ! !i'ia tio n2 o ! ten ti e* a /h #&/h 2 that (i%ethe *o e kind o! 'e(iti a/" @at 'ea*t in the !a/e o! an" non ana'"ti/a' o *e&%e&* .When wa* doin( a*/&eenin( o! The Muslims Are Coming! in C en t&a 'ia -Wa*hin(ton- et *o e o! the*e !o'k*. A * a'' #t

i(ht" (&o#) o! 'o a' C h&i*tian* )&ote*ted "*/&eenin(. The" he'd #) *i(n* a*kin( )eo)'e not to

*ee the o%ie e/a#*e wa* (oin( to t&" to on%e&tthe to *'a . The )i/kete&* we&e in !o& a deawakenin(- e/a#*e "o# a/t#a''" 'ea&n %e&" 'itt'e a o#t

*'a !&o " o%ie. ,)oi'e& a'e&t: $ no t a M#*'i*/ho'a&- *o the o%ie i* not a o#t &e 'i( io n- it$*a o#t /#'t#&a' a//e)tan/e. D'#*- ta'k a o#t iEE and%a(ina* th&o#(ho#t the !i' - *o it$* o&e 'ike'" too!!end e%an(e'i/a' C h&i*tian* and M#*'i * &athe&

than on%e&t an" od" to an"thin(.in%ited the )i/kete&* in*ide to *ee the o%ie. t

wa* /o'd and &ainin(- and $%e *een eno#(h Twilight o%ie* to know that it$* not *a!e in Wa*hin(ton ,tate

on/e the *#n (oe* down. A'a*- the" didn$t ite. C#tthe" did at 'ea*t *tand in the 'o " d#&in( the*/&eenin(- e/a#*e o*t &e 'i1 (ion* don$t want "o# to(et &ained on. Whi'e wa* ni e to the - *in/e&e'"

in%ited the in*ide- didn$t )#*h too ha&d. The&e$*a!ine 'ine etween akin( "o#&*e'! o)en anda%ai'a 'e- and o!!endin( o& ) &o *e '"t iEin(.

The A e&i/an Fa i'" A**o/iation i* a we '' 1o i'eda/hine that !a''* into thi* /ate(o&". The" ha%e

o &( an1 iEed &adio and te'e%i*ion *how* that &oad/a*ton &e( #' a&o'd a 'e. Ha%in( a edia )&e*en/e *how*that "o#$&e no t *o /&aE" that "o# /an$t ho'd down

the &e*) o n*i i'it ie*



178 H 3 W T 3 M A 6 = W H T = D = 3D B = BA + H

a**o/iated with ai&wa%e* and /ontent. The AFA #*e*thi* ai&ti e to ta'k a o#t Le*#* and od in a wa" that*o#nd* %e&" C h&i*tian and 'o%in(. And then ba m

The" hit "o # with *t#!! 'ike:

The ho o*ex#a' a(enda &e)&e*ent* the *in( 'e(&eate*t ode&n th&eat to !&eedo o! &e'i(ion

and /on*/ien/e. 2 C&"an Fi*/he&-AFA

The&e i*no *)i&it o! od in *'a . t i* the *) i&ito ! ,atan. t i* the *)i&it o! da&kne**. t i* the*) i&it o! t"&ann". t i* the *)i&ito! onda(e.

2 C&"an Fi*/he&-AFA

Ho o*ex#a'it" (a%e #* Ado')h Hit'e&- andho o *ex#a'* in the i'ita&" (a%e #* theC&own , hi&t*- the aEi wa& a/hine and *ix

i''ion dead Lew*.2 C&"an Fi*/he&-AFA8

That wa* a !#n 'itt'e M#*'i and (a" *andwi/h-wa*n$t it ! the" hit "o# #) with a #n h o! 'o%in(

*t#!! !&o the /h#&/h a o#t ein( *a%ed and 9 o d$*'o%e- it$* ea*" to *J #eeEe in the*e 'itt'e hate n#((et*-

e/a#*e the (&o#) a! !i'ia tio n )&o%ide* /o%e&. Hen/ethe F Mi**io n13 &ien ted i(ot W ho *e &o#) A!!i'iation

i%e* The Co%e& !o&Hatin( G Hate&.

8. FS #o te * !&o the A e&i/an Fa i'" A**o / ia t io n-G ,o#the&n Do %1e&t" Baw C ent e&- h t t ) : / /ww w . *) ' / en t e&. o &( /( e t 1in! o & ed /int e ''i ( en/ e

1&e) o &t / &o w*e1a '' 1i**#e*/I011 /winte &/a ! a _ J #ot e*.

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A T A ; 3 3 M < 3 F H A T = : ,179

(e$or%H a t e r

Then the&e a&e )eo)'e 'ike o%. eo&(e Wa''a e o! A'a a a. Fo& tho*e o! "o# who don$t know-Wa''a e wa* a towe&in( !i(#&e o! the Ci%i' i(ht* e&a

#t on the w&o n( *ide. He *aid *t#!! 'ike:

,e(&e(ation now- *e( &e ( a tio n to o&&ow-*e(&e(ation ! o &e%e&G And a!te& 'o*in( hi* !i&*t(# e&nato&ia' id to a more radical white *#) &e a / i*t@"eah- he wa*n$t e%en the wo&*t (#" on the &a/i*t*) e / 1 t he *aid to hi* aide: F



!o#& te& * tota'> hi* 'a*t non/on*e/#ti%e te& wa*in the $80 * C#t a* the *to &" (oe*- he wa* in/on*tant )ain and he had ti e to &e!'e/t



180 H 3 W T 3 M A 6 = W H T = D = 3D B = BA + H

and &ea'iEe- F H o '" *hit- &a/i* i* ho &&i 'e. G @ $J #o tin( the in*ide o! hi* &ain. n hi* 'ate& "ea&*-he wo#'d (o to an" 'a k /h#&/h that wo#'d ha%ehi and a*k ! o &! o &(i%ene**.

n 1979- at the ?exte& A%en#e Ca)ti*t Ch#& h inMo nt1 (o e&"- he *aid to a'' 'a/k )a&i*hione&*: Fha%e 'ea&ned what *#!!e&in( ean*. n a wa" that

wa* i ) o **i 'e e!o&e the *hootin(U- think /an#nde&*tand *o ethin( o! the )ain 'a/k )eo)'e ha%e/o e to end#&e. know ont&i #ted to that )ain-and /an on'" a*k "o#& ! o &( i%e1 ne**.G ,o e we&e*ke)ti/a' #) #nti' hi* death in 1998 - #t othe&* &ea''"

e'ie%ed that he t#&ned it a&o#nd. ! o &one- wo#'d'ike to think that he e%o'%ed- he i ) &o %ed - he !o#nd&ea*o na 'e ne **.

C#t when eo&(e Wa''a/e wa* at hi* )&i e- he wa*the kind o! o'd !a*hioned i(ot that "o# #*t don$t*ee a n"1 o&e. He wa* &a*h and 'o#d- he wo#'d*/&ea in%e/ ti%e* at the to) o! hi* '#n(*- and he wa*de!inite'" not wo &&ied a o#t how he /a e o!! in



need to &e)ent in o&de& to (o to hea%en . oo 8 At#&na&o #nd



A T A ; 3 3 M < 3 F H A T = : , 181

PPMal*ol% + wa* a Ci%i' i(ht*Ve&a hea%" hitte&.He *)ent hi* ea&'" "ea&* a* a e e& o! the ation o! *'a - whe&e he )&ea/hed that white )eo)'e we&e the

de%i' and that 'a k A e&i/an* *ho#'d /o )'ete'"*e)a&ate ! &o the . Then he went on a ha 2 aM#*'i )i'(&i a(e to Me// a2 / a e a k- and&eno#n ed a'' o! hi* ea&'ie&) o *i1tion* on white )eo)'e. a 'a 8 A t#&na&o #nd

PP ,oh n - ! in*y #da%s had a tota' one& !o&ani! e*t de*tin" in hi* ea&'" "ea&*> he tho#(ht A e&i/a

wa* de*tined to ex)and !&o /oa*t to /oa*t. C#t 'ate&in 'i!e he !ie&/ e '" &e*i*ted ex)an*ion- e/a#*e it eantthe ex)an*ion o! *'a%1 e&". A* a &e*#'t- he o))o*eda / tio n*2 wa& and o the&wi*e2 that wo#'d 'ead to the

i((enin( o! the /o#nt&". Mani! e*t

de*tin" Mo&e 'ike on i!e*t no wa" *tin"8 T#&na&o#nd8

PPBill Maher Mahe& wa* a t'" !#nn" /o edianwho *)ent an" "ea&* on hi* H C3 *how ta'kin(

ad *hit a o#t M#*'i * at e%e&" o))o&t#nit". Heade /'ai * 'ike F h#nd&ed* o! i''ion* o! M#*'i *G

*#))o&ted the C ha rlie 0ebdo atta k*. Whi h- i*- "o#know- '#di &o#*. Then in

I0I5 2 whi/h i* a date in the ! # t#&e2 Ci'' Mahe&&ea 'iEed that M#*'i * a&e no& a' )eo)'e. He &e ainedan a%o wed athei*t #t took a o&e 'o%in( a))&oa h toM#*'i *. He and Do)e F&an/i* *ta&ted a new ta'k *howon H C3 / a '' ed 1ope Tal with -ill Maher and a 1ope .Do)e F&an/i*- itt#&n* o#t- doe* (&eat

it*.9



9. A'a*- thi* i* a'' #nte- a* /annot a//#&ate'" te'' "o# what wi''ha )) en in I0I5. 3 & /an 5



18I H 3 W T 3 M A 6 = W H T = D = 3D B = BA + H

The taxono " o! hate i* #*e!#'- e/a#*e it he')*"o # !i(#&e o#t what kind o! hate&* "o#$&e dea'in(with and whethe& "o# *ho#'d ake an atte )t at

&in(in( the in the !o'd- whethe& the"$&e too !a&(one to othe& with- o &whethe& "o#$&e /&o**in( that!ine 'ine etween &ea /h in( o#t and (oadin(.

did /&o** thi* 'ine on/e. The (oa' o! The Muslims A re

Coming! wa* to ake o#&*e'%e* a%ai'a 'e to )eo)'ewho we&e #&io#* a o#t M#*'i *. To *to) the inthei&t&a / k* in the idd'e o! thei& dai'" 'i%e*- o!!e& the)a*t&ie*- and en(a(e. We did thi* J#ite e!!e/ti%e'"

" *ettin( #) an A*k a M#*'i ooth in the idd'eo! town *J#a&e*. Deo )'e a*ked #* J#e*tion*- o&the" h#&&ied "- o& the"we&e *o int&i(#ed " the !&ee)a*t&ie* that the" *to))ed !o& a *weet- and then (ot

&o)ed into /on%e&*ation. t wa* !#n- it wa* *o eti e*di!!i/#'t- and it wa* a'wa"* e"e 1o ) en in(.

We (ot J#e*tion* 'ike F ! M#*'i * a&en$tte&&o &i*t*- wh" don$t we e%e& hea& the deno#n/in(

te &&o &i* 5G ,o eti e* the J#e*tion wa* )o*ed a*-F W e *ee a'' the*e te&&o&i*t atta/k* ha))enin(- and

#*t don$t *ee an" M#*1 'i * ex)&e**in( an"di**ati*!a/tion- it$* a' o*t 'ike the" $&e oka" with it o&

'ike the" kinda want it to ha)) en.G W hi/h i* a)a&ti/#'a&'" i''o(i/a' !o& #'ation- e/a#*e i! a Midd 'e=a*te&n i i(&ant 'e!t the Midd'e =a*t- it$* e/a#*e

the" wanted to ha%e a o&e F A e&i/ anG 'i!e- &i(ht t$*not 'ike "o# wo#'d 'ea%e the Midd'e =a*t i! what "o#want to do i* 'i%e in a )'a/e that wi'' e in%aded "F the Midd'e =a*t.G ''o(i a' o& not- it$* a 'e(iti ate

J#e*tion. And we hea&d

it o%e& and o%e&- whi/h ean* that )eo)'e ha%e &ea''"no t



hea&d M#*'i * deno#n/e te&&o&i* . C#t tha t$* &ea''"*t&an( e



A T A ; 3 3 M < 3 F H A T = : ,18K

e/a#*e the on'" M#*'i * know do deno#n/ete&&o &i* . think the i((e*t )&o 'e i* that o#&

ain*t&ea n ew* o#t'et* #*t a&en$t (oin( to o%e&a#n h o! &ea*ona 'e )eo)'e deno#n/in( %io'en/e.

Ce"on/ $* *ki&t o#'d " #)- o&3 ) &ah Win!&e" /o#'dendo&*e anothe& ook- o& H i'' a&" C'inton o#'d *a"*o ethin( a o#t hatin( ,)anx when *he tho#(ht he&

i/&o)hone wa* o !! 2 an" o! that wo#'d e /o%e&edbefore ni/e )eo)'e *a"in( %io'en/e i* ad.

7 e%e&the 'e**- the J#e*tion i* !*t&atin(. t$* a* i! Catho'i * had to deno#n/e )edo)hi'ia e%e&" ti ethe&e wa* a new* *to&" on an a #*i%e )&ie*t. The" #*tdon$t do that- e a#*e it$* o %io#* that &ank and !i'eCatho'i * a&e di*(#*ted with the*e )&ie*t*. ,e%ent" one)e&/ent o! a** *hootin(* in the 'a*t thi&t" "ea&* we&e

)e&)et&ated " white a'e*- #t we don$t ha%e whitea'e* den o #n/ in( a** #&de& e%e&" ti e it ha)) en *.We a'*o (ot J#e*tion* 'ike F W h" a&en $t "o#

wea&in( a #&ka5G Anothe& (&eat J#e*tion. n the+nited , ta te *- whene%e&we ta'k a o#t M#*'i 'adie*-we i a(ine the a* *h&o#ded ein(*. n *o e/o#nt&ie* in the Midd'e =a*t- /o%e&in( i* the 'aw- not

e/a#*e o! the o&an #t e/ a#*e o! (o%e&n enta'

'aw* @kno wn a* the Had ithA that / a e a!te& the o&an.n the +nited ,tate*- *o e 'adie* want to /o%e&-*o

the" do. 3 the& 'adie* don$t. t$* &ea''" #) to the . The ooth we *et #)- that t")e o! *o/ia' #*ti/eo ed" a/tion- wa* in%itin( and wa&&anted. C#t the&e

we&e ti e* that " ta/ti/* %ee&ed awa" !&o 'o%eand into an a&ea o! #n o !o&ta 'e (oadin(. didn$twant to ake a o %ie that )&o%oked )eo)'e into

'ookin( *t#)id o& !o& ed the into */&ea in( at/he*.C#t in one in*tan/e- e**ed #).



184 H 3 W T 3 M A 6 = W H T = D = 3 D B = BA+ H

THE DAIL DE NO U NC ER

e a#*e the Wh" don$t "o# deno#n e te&&o&i* G J#e*tion

ha* een *o &a ) a n t - 'a#n hed The ? a i'"? e no #n / e &./ o - ao i *t&i) de%oted to deno#n in( te&&o&i* - e%e&" da"o! the

wo&kweek @we '' - the wo&kwee k2 de no#n/ in( take* weekend* o !! A.X

XCont e nt " e- &idi/#'o#*'" ( &e at i''#*t&at ion* " Moni a Lohn *on.



A T A ; 3 3 M < 3 F H A T = : , 185

We we&e on o#& wa" to a*h%i''e !o& a *how anden &o#te we *aw a *tate !ai& in !#'' *win(. We*to))ed ! o &*o e otton and" and to take a &idethat ade e want to th&ow #). A!te& !ee'in( theea&th eneath " !eet !o& twent" in#te*- we we&e&oa in( the ( &o #nd* when we ha))ened #)on a

a&e kn#/k'e oxin( &in( that wa* ne*t'ed in thewood* ehind the !ai&. a**# ed that a&e kn#/k'e

oxin( at/he* att&a/t the kind o! )eo)'e who ha%e%e&" 'itt'e &e(a&d !o& the *kinon thei& hand*. Theanti ani/#&e *et- i! "o# wi''. had ne%e& een to an"kind o! oxin( at/h @'et a'one a ate#&

a&e1kn#/ k' e o xin( A and we had the (&and idea too!!e& o#& o ed" *e&%i/e*in etween at/h e*.

a))&oa/hed the ti/ket *e''e& and *aid- F He '' o- wea&e a kind'" and o! M#*'i o edian* who wo#'d'ike to o!!e& o#& /o ed" *e&%i/e* to "o#& !ine a!!ai&.

o &e o 1 )en*e &eJ#i&ed- o! / o #&*e. G thenowed- ho'din( " ('o%e* in hand 'ike a te

(ent'ewo an. The ti/ket *e''e& 'ooked at e J#iEEi/a''".

F M#*'i o ed ian*5G he *a id .F


40/40

186 H 3 W T 3 M A 6 = W H T = D = 3D B = BA + H

/o !o&t 'e%e' with 'ood- (a*he*- and othe& !o& * o! od i'" )ain. noti/ed en wa'kin( a&o#nd who

the *e '%e* 'ooked 'ike the" had een eaten #) 2) &o a '" e / a#*e the" had een eaten #).F H ) h- thi* who'e &oo i* into %io'en/e in a wa"that didn$t J#ite noti e e! o &e -G *aid to "*e '! .

And #*t a* wa* noti/in( the n# e& o! e )t"

Da *t /an* on the oo&- the o** an &an o#t !&o thea/k. He wa* not wea&in( a *hi&t- #t to hono& the

e%ent- he wa* wea&in( a ow tie. He *ee ed to !inda 'a&(e *ti/k tha t had een /on%enient'" *et a(ain*tan ad a/ent wa''- "o # know- the wa" i( *ti/k* o!tena&e.He (&a ed that *ti/ k- /ha&(ed towa&d #*- and inhi* !ine*t and o*t th&ea ten 1 in( twan(- he*/&ea ed- F

Excerpt from "How to Make White People Laugh," by Negin Farsad

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Transcript of Excerpt from "How to Make White People Laugh," by Negin Farsad