THE EVIL OF DOWRYIn olden days giving dowry during marriages was most common. The aristocratic class celebrated their daughter’s marriages very grandly giving them lands, jewels, properties, vehicles and large cash. Very rich people can afford to give lands, houses and vehicles as dowry. the Agarwals in the North and Reddys in Andhra Pradesh had it as their custom to give away large landed property and jewels when they celebrated the marriage of their daughters. Even now the rich of these communities celebrate their daughters marriages very grandly to the surprise and envy of their neighbours and the people of their localities. The Maharajas celebrated the marriages of their daughters spending lavishly. Ordinary people wonder at the huge amount spent on marriages and the grand feast for thousands and thousands which include the choicest food items and choicest liquor. Some years ago in the Gwalior Maharajah’s family a marriage was celebrated so grandly that people all over the country raised their eyebrows in wonder. Gifts to the bride or dowry might have been some palatial houses, the latest model cars, jewellery of the finest variety, silver and gold vessels and what not? It was a display of lavishness.

Wealthy people, zamindars and the princely class can spend on marriages as much as they wish. But what about the average , middle class and poor people who lead a

hand to mouth existence? Lavish spending on marriages is questionable when most of our people struggle to make both ends meet. Infact the royal wedding in the north was questioned by many public figures and it was denounced and unreasonable.

To the common man giving dowry is very problematic. Most of the people are employed in offices or do some petty bussiness. In many families the earning member may be only one. He may get low salary and may not have any savings. He may have to marry off his daughter when he is about to retire or after he retires. His retirement benefits may amount to few lakhs of ruppees. If he spends most of the money on the marriage of his one or two daughters how can he lead a comfortable life for the rest of his life? This is the condition of most of the families. Having spent most of the money a person gets a person gets on retirement he suffers during his last days. Unless he gives a sizeable amount as dowry and spends large portion of his earning on his daughters marriage he cannot get his daughter married. Even an educated girl who earns well has to be give off in marriage with dowry. unless the bridegroom’s parents are determined enough not to get dowry this abhorrent social custom cannot be abolished.

But it should be said that many bridegroom’s parents do not insist on dowry nowadays but they stipulate a condition that the marriage should be celebrated well. The number of

people attending the marriage may be large. The cost of celebration of marriage by the Brahmins in south is generally high as the marriage function. The rent for the marriage hall is high. The expenses for the tiffin and dinner for three days are high. In some communities the expenses for the marriage are shared equally by the families of the bride and the bridegroom. This is quiet welcome and eases the burden on brides parentrs considerably. This practice should be adopted by the other communities as well.

The married girl is harassed if the dowry demand is not given in full. She is ill-treated, abused and she suffers inwardly. If her husband is not understanding enough her condition is pitiable and she silently weeps and regrets why she married. There was a report in the newspaper that a girl was married and that she and her husbands family which included her mother-in-law and father-in-law settled in USA as her husband got a job there. Her mother-in-law who was a sadistic treated her daughter-in-law like a slave. She used to inflict injuries on her body with sharp weapons and burning matchsticks. Sometimes the pitiable girl was locked inside a room. Once, all in the house except the girl was away. The girl was locked in a room. By chance the relative of the girl dropped in when she was alone. The girl narrated all the horrible experiences to her relative and he safely took her away to her parents. Then a case was registered against her husbands family.

A well-known, young doctor harassed his wife for not giving the promised dowry. he harassed his wife and she complained to the police. A case was registered against the doctor.

Even the educated, enlightened in-laws sometimes ill-treat a married girl. In this twenty-first century this is something out of tune with time.

In the southern districts of Madurai and Salem an abominable practice is in vogue. It is the most sinful, female infanticide. Poor parents who give birth to a female child kill it in various ways just because they are unable to get her married when she grows up. This is strange . the parents do not want to educate the girl and simply want to put an end to it. The female child is an unwanted thing. Female infanticide is an age-old evil in and around Madurai and Salem. Slowly this evil practice is done away with. The Tamil Nadu government has brought about the “cradle baby scheme” the “cradle baby scheme” is a boon to the parents who do not want female children. They can leave the unwanted female child the cradle in the health centres of the village or town panchayats. The children will be brought up by the government. Public awareness about the evil of female infanticide has been created by the government. It is high time that this evil practice was discontinued.

This is the age of feminism. Gender equation is a vital message of our day. The constitution declares that “it is the

fundamental duty of all citizens to renounce practices derogatory to women.”

Giving dowry to a girl during a marriage is nothing but underestimating her value. Marriage has sancity. Marriage is a spritual bond. Let us give marriage the high status due to it.