Ethos, Ethics & Etiquette

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Can Corruption be cured?

Ethical LeadershipFROM THE HEART OF A PASTOR

IN THE wORkPlACE

ShowingAppreciation

Ethos, Ethics & Etiquette

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cOnTEnTSVOICe OF THe PROPHeTEthics: Don't follow the Rules 6

HeART OF THe PASTOREthical leadership is Effective 10

HAnD OF THe HARVeSTeRSocial Media Protocol 16The True Nature of Corruption and its Cure 20Appreciation in the workplace 26 why is Family so Important? 28

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it saddens me when I hear of Christian business people who deal unethically, practise bad etiquette and who leave their offices having

torn strips off their employees or colleagues. we all mess up occasionally, but as Christians we should still be different from the rest of the world; we should still be the salt and the light. This includes not having lifestyles that look different depending on what day of the week we are on. And not living in two different realms – everyday versus Sunday – with different rules for each. Being salt and light begins with an individual leader’s heart, and extends to taking a stand against bribes, against bad business practice and against participating in the breakdown of the general healthy ethos of a company, community, family or country (see Steve Johnston’s article on page20).

After choosing the theme for this issue, I looked up the meaning of the word ‘ethics’ and was interested to see that the definition included both ‘etiquette’ and ‘ethos’. we tend to treat them as separate issues when in fact they have the same root: our values as a business, as a community and as a country.

I have often heard it said that bribes are a ‘cultural thing’ in South Africa, implying that we must just accept it as a norm. The “if-you-can’t-beat-them- join-them” mentality is the beginning of a slippery slope of corruption, maybe not large-scale fraud but subtle ‘bending’ of the rules, even down to family level and personal finances.

So where does the buck stop? without bringing condemnation, our writers point out that we have the responsibility – and the power in Jesus Christ – to take a stand against corruption. In our own lives, in our own businesses, and in the society we live in.

Each of the Israelite tribes placed a rock on the side of the Jordan after they crossed into the Promised land. As each of us commits to doing business god’s way, it’s as if each of us is adding a rock to a growing pile erected in honour of our Father god. we’ll stick out, and we may lose some business, but we won’t fall when we’re built on solid foundations. Our generation will leave a mark of being unashamedly ethical – and we’ll last into eternity.

Picture one pile of rocks – a community of believers committing to living god’s way – linking

to another pile, then to another, and an unshakeable wall emerges. As Patrick kuwana teaches in his Biblical Entrepreneurship course (coming up in July – see page 4), the cracks are already showing in the current economic system. Businesses that aren’t built on the Rock of Christ will come crashing down. As Christians, we can be doing all the right things but still be building on sandy ground. Our businesses need to be built on the Rock – on kingdom principles, on a godly foundation, on His justice and not our perception of what’s fair or just.

It takes courage to go against the flow. How we do this is also important. A self-righteous attitude will do nothing for our witness or those around us. Just as salt is used to preserve and bring healing, and light is used to dispel darkness, we need to take our stand in love and walk our talk. kim white points out that ethics is not about simply following a set of rules – it’s rather how we honour our Father and operate from the kingdom of god (page 6).

gary kelly’s wonderful article about values in leadership provides some practical tips on how to put values into action as a leader (page 10). Adele Benvie goes on to explains how leaders can show appreciation in the workplace (page 26) and help build an ethos of caring and encouragement. Charlotte kemp also shares an important tip on correct social media protocol (page 16) to ensure that we treat our online friends and customers with the same courtesy we do our face-to-face ones.

Connect Christian Magazine is taking a stand by taking part in the unashamedly Ethical campaign and we have encouraged all our advertisers to do the same. let’s be intentional about being the Salt and light to the marketplace. let’s be like the salmon who push against the flow and leap great rapids and manoeuvre around predators to carry life to their final destination. let us be bringers of life to every business deal.

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Salt&Light

VOICE OF THE PROPHET

Many people take a list of good values and make them their guiding principles. And for years

this may work until a ‘real’ issue comes to light. Then, like the law, our ability to hold our standards will be tested, and sadly our ability to maintain our integrity is often compromised. It is the way of rules – it is the way of law.

when I think of Christian ethics, I quickly move to the topic of honour and sonship. In my view, ethics is not about rules; instead it’s about ‘position’ and ‘responsibility’. when we understand our position as sons in god’s kingdom – when we understand our responsibilities as sons bringing honour to Daddy and managing our inheritance wisely – then this changes our motives.

Being ethical in business – is it really possible?

6 | www.connectmagazine.co.za

ETHicS:Don't follow the rules

I had an interesting breakfast late last year with the chief executive of a major New Zealand company. we got talking about maintaining integrity in the board room. He mentioned one instance where a conflict arose between two products supplied by the chain. The marketing and legal teams had devised a way of dealing with it – but at the board meeting the CEO announced that the company would ‘do the right thing’ instead, and settle the matter fairly rather than fighting.

From a worldly perspective this was not a sound business decision. It was an ethical one though, based on the CEO’s heart. He was representing his daddy’s kingdom; he was representing his faith and demonstrating who he was as a son of god.

I love the story of Zacchaeus in luke 19:1-10. Zacchaeus ran a pretty crooked tax system in his city and had become quite wealthy. Then he had an encounter with Jesus that totally changed his heart. After operating from a worldly perspective, Zacchaeus was suddenly able to see things from

a kingdom-of-Heaven perspective.So what does it look like in heaven?

For starters, there are no poor and no corrupt systems. So immediately after his encounter with Jesus, Zacchaeus did something to help the poor AND fixed the corrupt tax system! The whole city

was transformed and many lives changed for the better because of his kingdom-minded decisions. Yes they were ethical decisions, but they came from a heart totally transformed by an encounter with Jesus – they were heart responses, not learned actions.

In verse 9 Jesus also calls Zacchaeus a “son of Abraham”. when we become sons we enter god’s family, His kingdom. From that perspective, as sons of god, we can release heaven on earth.

Your kingdom come, Your will be done. On earth as it is in heaven.

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In my view, ethics is not about rules; instead

it’s about ‘position’ and ‘responsibility’.


Bringing heaven to earthgod’s kingdom of heaven does not come through lists of good behaviours and rules. It comes when sons and daughters realise their position and authority in god’s kingdom and take responsibility for releasing it on earth – in their spheres of influence. Jesus honoured His Father by doing only what He saw his Father do. The Holy Spirit always brings glory to the Father. when we, as sons and daughters, make our lives and actions point to our Daddy in heaven, then we also bring honour to Him.

what is in heaven? Now release that on earth. what are you doing right now? Is it releasing heaven or conforming to worldly ways? what are you speaking now? Are your words building god’s kingdom or reinforcing man’s? Is your life revealing the heart of your Father in heaven or reinforcing the values of this world? Are you honouring the Father through your work decisions and actions? Don’t look for a list of rules to follow to be ethical… look rather at the heart of god, the Spirit of god, within us all.

we cannot bring consistent change to this fallen world by imposing – or keeping – rules of behaviour. Values and principles will always be compromised by political correctness, society’s steady fall into darkness and the enemy’s influence over the worldly system.

Change comes when we replace a broken system with one that works! when we replace this worldly system with god’s kingdom. when we reveal or speak or live out a kingdom principle we are effectively blocking the worldly system and releasing heaven into

that situation.That’s what sonship is –

taking our daddy’s kingdom and advancing it into our spheres of influence, bringing Him honour.

Because it’s actually our inheritance as well!

Kim WhiteHorizon Church, nZ

www.dreamingwithpurpose.co.nz

When we, as sons and daughters,

make our lives and actions point to our Daddy in heaven, then we also bring

honour to Him.

HEART OF THE PASTOR

Many people in today’s society correctly argue that you cannot really measure values, and that they

are therefore a rather nebulous concept to try to run an organisation by. However, it has been shown over and over again in business, in government, in churches and in families worldwide, that the practice of improper values most definitely has disastrous

consequences. Therefore, it stands to reason that striving for correct values

is an activity of top importance for every leader today in business, in

social circles or in the church. In fact, striving to live by

correct values is perhaps the highest attempt at

wisdom a person or organisation can

ever pursue.

Ethical

LeadershipisEffective


king Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, said the following in Proverbs 3: 3-5 (NlT):

“Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation. Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.”

What is a value system?A value system is a combination of ethical and moral principles that guide the decisions made by individuals or organisations. This ideology defines what is right or wrong and guides ethical behaviour based on those beliefs. A person’s values determine the outcome of his or her character and actions, even in situations where negative consequences might exist for doing the right thing. Moral decisions produce internal rewards when value systems and actions coincide.

In summary, values are choices about what is important to us. It is the same for individuals as for organisations: inevitably, what we value is what we do. So really, we can write fancy value statements all over the walls, but it is the composite of our daily choices and actions that truly displays our values for the entire world to see.

What can strong values do for a group of people working together? let me illustrate with a few word pictures:

• Values are like glue. They hold organisations, families

and churches together.

• Values are like a ruler. They set the standard that

we use to measure our performance.

• Values are like a compass. They give direction and guidance.

• Values are like a magnet. They attract like-minded people.

• Values provide identity. They define and identify the team.

This brings me to the real point: how values connect with actions. In other words, how do organisations, social institutions and churches actually implement the value systems that they are based on? There are many recognised ways of ‘instilling values’ in such organisations, but let’s not forget that if the leadership at all levels does not lIVE out these values on a daily basis, these values are worth no more than the paper they’re written on.

Living your valuesSo how do organisations ensure that their words match their actions? How do they actually live out the ethical principles they believe in? what is it that makes them known as “unashamedly Ethical”?

If values are the principles, standards and qualities we consider worthwhile

isEffective

We can write fancy

value statements all over the walls,

but it is the composite of our daily choices

and actions that truly display our

values for the entire world

to see.

and desirable, and on which we base our decisions, then ethics are values-in-action. Ethics can be described as the ‘rules of conduct’ that grow out of a particular set of values (think of medical ethics, or Christian ethics, or what is commonly known as the ethos of a company).

growing an ethical organisation involves two key leadership issues. Firstly, it is imperative to attract people who practise and portray high principles. This means leaders who live by the highest standards of honesty and integrity. Such people are few and far between in today’s society, but key to establishing correct organisational leadership.

“More than anything else, followers want to believe that their leaders are ethical and honest.”

Once such leaders of principle have been established at all levels within an organisation, the next step is to continually provide frequent and candid information to all involved. The continued sharing of both good and bad news within any organisation builds trust. It has been proven that even in big organisations,

employees are well aware that everything won’t always be rosy – therefore it is key

to share information that is straight and honest. If a pretty picture is

all they ever see, they kNOw something is being hidden.

If there is honest exchange of

information between leaders

and followers, this will

inevitably result in doing the right things right, thus leading to success in the process.

Finally, ethical leadership will always place a higher emphasis on the individual rather than the product. If people are valuable, leadership becomes effective and great products are produced! Here is a list of priorities that need to be observed in the order they are presented below. If priority #1 is in place then priority #2 can be negotiated, and so on.

1. Respect for each individual. 2. Clear, honest direct communication. 3. Consistency in actions.4. Creative team approach. 5. To seek excellence.

keeping these priorities in that order will result in a leadership approach that can be regarded as ethical. As 2 Peter 1:5-8 reads in The Message version,

“So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus.”

HEART OF THE PASTOR

Gary KellyCampus Pastor

Doxa Deo Pinetown [email protected]

“More than anything else, followers want to believe that their leaders are ethical and honest.”

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Why your

company is

nOT a person

Social media

PROTOCOL

Would you ever attempt to start your car with the key from your front door? And if by chance

you accidentally tried, and then realised that you were using the wrong key, you wouldn’t try over and over to force the big, wide key into the small, thin ignition, would you? You would realise that the keys are meant for different locks. Both your home and your car are important assets to you but they are different, and so are their functions, purposes and means of access. You don’t attempt to force the key of one into the lock of the other and then use them in a way that they are not intended to be used.

In the same way, Facebook personal profiles and linkedIn profiles are designed for people not for companies. whenever profiles request First Name and Surname and gender, it is normally a clue that we are looking at people and not a

legal entity such as a company. It is not a clever idea to try and force your company profile into the personal profile because it is going to go wrong somewhere down the line and both Facebook and linkedIn have plenty of opportunities for you to market your company. But if you use the tools the wrong way then it is going to appear clumsy and awkward.

LInKeDInFor example, a linkedIn profile is very specifically designed for individuals.

You basically set up your CV and outline where you work now and where you were employed before. You also explain where you received your qualifications, where you went to school (university or college), what awards you won, what positions of responsibility you held and what skills you have. You also ask for recommendations

from people that you connect with on linkedIn and who know you personally.

None of that applies strictly to a company profile on linkedIn. If I am looking at Frank from Coca-Cola, I want to know about him. Coca-Cola hasn’t received a degree from a university, acquired a skill from working at a particular department in an international company, won a prestigious scholarship that indicates an entrepreneurial flair, or established a professional relationship and recommendation from the one person on my contact list that I really want to meet. Coca-Cola is a huge, faceless, multinational organisation. I go onto linkedIn to meet individuals. To lINk to Frank himself. Frank will indicate that he works at Coca Cola but I do not want to lINk to Coca Cola.

linkedIn has however, made provision for Coca Cola to do plenty of marketing on its site and that will be the subject of another article.

FACeBOOKThe same goes for Facebook. Facebook has Business Pages which are specifically designed to

market your business. They need to be attached to a person in much the same

way that there actually needs to be a human being to go to the registrar’s office to say that they would like to operate a business under South African law. But however you set up that ‘person’ who then sets up the Business Page, please

know that the person’s private information is not evident on the Business Page. This is the

biggest concern that I hear when we do training on this issue. when you post on your personal profile about your wonderful weekend activities, it will not be posted to your Business Page. If you Like your Business Page, then what you post to your Business Page will, however, be evident on your Personal Page.

why, beside the fact that it is the right thing to do, do you want a Business Page instead of a ‘Person’ as your business’s profile? well let me explain as I did to some Nonprofit companies last week. what if I am online over

a weekend and someone mentions, either on Facebook or by email, something about a charity that I think is really awesome. I find the Facebook page and think that this is great; I want to follow the charity to find out more and see how I can get involved. If this were a Business Page, I would simply click Like and immediately begin participating in the conversation. I could comment. I could find out the

Facebook personal profiles and

LinkedIn profiles are designed for people not for

companies. It is not a clever idea to try and force your company profile into the personal

profile because it is going to go wrong somewhere down

the line.

banking details and make a donation. I could Suggest this page to my friends.

However, if this profile has been set up as a ‘person’, I have to request permission to follow it. And then I have to wait who knows how long before someone gets around to checking emails, to see if I am worthy enough to follow the charity that is actually begging for money and assistance. By then I have lost interest and moved on to other things.

The whole purpose of social media is to make things as easy as possible for people to participate and follow and pass on. Don’t put up road blocks and prevent them from supporting you. And part of that is, don’t use the tools in the wrong way. If you do that, it makes for clumsy and messy social media that makes

conversation awkward.Please consider

using a social media coach or strategist to ensure that your marketing message online is on target. Don’t put people off with bad protocol.


Charlotte KempSocial Media Solutions

[email protected]


The whole purpose of social media is to make things as easy as possible

for people to participate and follow and pass

on. Don’t put up road blocks and

prevent them from supporting you.

HAND OF THE HARVESTERHAND OF THE HARVESTER

it seems that hardly a day goes by in which we are not reminded of large- scale ethical decay in our country.

we see corruption in government and business, moral decline in our communities, and the increasing breakdown of the family in our homes.

In response to this we have also seen projects or initiatives launched at government, business and community levels which attempt to solve this problem. But while secular initiatives like “The Moral Regeneration Movement”, “leadSA”, “Corruption watch” and “lovelife” may have isolated cases of success, no secular movement will ever make a significant impact on the problem. This is a bold statement, but one which I believe needs


Then one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, and saying, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

- Matt 22:35-40 NKJV

to be considered in the light of Scripture.

In the verses quoted above from Matt 22 we see Jesus teach the all-important truth that loving god is the first and great commandment – greater even than loving our neighbour. The glory of god in Jesus Christ is of greater value than the earthly comfort of human beings. Now we thank god that He is a god of justice, He is a god who cares for the poor and marginalised, and so loving god inevitably leads His children to loving their neighbours too. But we must never forget that social justice is only of value as it works in the light of a love for the one true god.

This understanding of our relationship with god unlocks certain keys to solving the ethical dilemma of our times.

First, with this Biblical approach to ethics we understand that corruption is not a function of man’s environment – as if a change in environment will eradicate corruption. Rather, we understand that corruption is a result of the fallen, depraved nature of every person. we are born already carrying the sinful nature of our first father Adam. It is not simply that some people act corruptly. No, it is that all people are corrupt, and that from birth. This is a hard truth for any of us to swallow, but it is the testimony of Jesus

Himself (Matt 7:11) and that too of Paul the Apostle (Eph 2:1, Eph 2:5, Col 2:13), and of others throughout Scripture.

Second, we learn from Scripture that the fundamental sin behind corruption is not greed or covetousness itself, but rather idolatry (Col 3:5). Corruption and unethical practices are sins of idolatry. A corrupt person is one who places his or her hopes for fulfillment and peace in money, rather than in god. Jesus summed the matter up in the Sermon on the Mount, saying, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the

other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” (Matt 6:24)

Thirdly, corrupt living is unbelief. The writer of the Book of Hebrews gives us a clear warning: “Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God” (Heb 3:12). Corruption, greed and covetousness are all signs of a lack

of faith in the promises and warnings of god. The Bible promises that in Christ we can have peace, our joy can be full, our needs will always be met and that we can walk in the knowledge of the love and care of our Father god Himself! The Bible also warns us that every sin will come into judgment and that

This understanding

of our relationship with God unlocks

certain keys to solving the

ethical dilemma of our times.

But while secular initiatives like “The Moral

Regeneration Movement”, “LeadSA”,

“Corruption Watch” and

“LoveLife” may have isolated cases

of success, no secular movement

will ever make a significant impact on the

problem.

HAND OF THE HARVESTERHAND OF THE HARVESTER

“idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone” (Rev 21:8). lf we really believed all that, and believed that if we “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, all these things shall be added to us” (Matt 6:33), what possible cause would there be for corruption?

And so if the causes of corruption are the total depravity of man, his idolatry of money and his evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living god, then the only solution to corruption is Jesus Christ and the reconciliation He brings between god and man. Only saving faith in Christ can change the depraved heart of a man (Jer 31:31-34 and Eze 36:25-27), only saving faith in Christ can replace serving money with serving god, and only saving faith in Christ sees man’s heart turn to god with genuine faith in all His promises (Eph 2:8-9).

How can a secular ethics campaign ever hope to achieve anything significant in the

light of all this? And so with regard to our original statement it should become clear

to the Bible-believing Christian that secular initiatives will always fail to overcome corruption.

No, our only hope for transformation in our nation is a revival of true Christian religion, a revival which will see the gospel preached with “power from on high” (luke 24:49) and by which we see “the word of the lord run swiftly and be glorified” (2 Thes 3:1). May god grant this in our generation!

Steve Johnstone International Coordinator

unashamedly ethicalwww.unashamedlyethical.com

If we really believed all that, and believed that if we “seek first the kingdom of God and His

righteousness, all these things shall be added to us”

(Matt 6:33), what possible cause would there be for corruption?


The Reverend Joel Edwards, the head of Micah Challenge, based in london, recently wrote the following:

“Corruption isn’t just bad ethics: it has a direct link to poverty and kills body, soul and spirit. It would cost the world approximately $210billion per annum to keep our global promise to reduce extreme poverty by half in 2015 but every year the poor lose well over $1 trillion through deliberate or indirect dishonesty. It means that our best efforts are being devalued by the dishonesty we ignore. Ignoring corruption is like investing your money in an economy with hyper inflation.”

That describes well the price we as humankind are paying economically for corruption within the institutions of government and business. Add to that the physical, social and psychological damage so many have suffered through unclean living within society’s most important institution, the family, and you begin to get some inkling of the responsibility we have as Christians to intensify our stand against such things. After all, are we not the light of the world?

unashamedly Ethical is an international campaign promoting ethics, values

and clean living. The campaign is built upon three pillars, around which local communities form:

1) A challenge to people to make a public commitment to ‘good values, ethics and clean living’; 2) An online directory of all signatories (Connect Christian Business Magazine is a member) and 3) A presiding Ombudsman who holds all signatories accountable, and who will review written complaints against any signatory.

Our goal is to form local communities of signatories all over the world, because community relationships are the heart of transformation. Join the global uE community by going to www unashamedlyethical.com to make your own public commitment to ethics, values and clean living. You can also join a local uE Community or start your own – email [email protected] for more information.

What is theUnASHAMEdLy

ETHicALcampaign about?


As a signatory of the unashamedly ethical Campaign Connect Christian Business Magazine would love to encourage other Christian businesses to take a stand too.

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According to gary Chapman and Paul white’s book, The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace,

employee turnover is one of the largest controllable overheads an organisation can have, costing the uS economy at least 5 trillion dollars a year. According to the research they and other organisations have done, a lack of tangible appreciation within the workplace is the primary reason for employee turnover. Even though we do not have the statistics for South Africa, I would dare to say that the loss would be proportionately the same in the South African economy. Companies that show appreciation properly:

• retaintheiremployeeslonger

• reducethecostofreplacingstaffand

• enhancetheatmospherewithintheworkplace as there is a sense of stability and security with a stable employee infrastructure.

Some critical points to remember:

1 Appreciation must be sincere and only given when truly warranted.

Nobody likes ‘Appreciation Campaigns’. For appreciation to be truly effective, it must be personal and correctly timed.

2 Not everyone has the same language of Appreciation. According to gary

Chapman and Paul white, there are five main languages of Appreciation in the workplace:

Words of Affirmation Saying thank you when a job is done well; giving credit publicly when an employee has done something for the company; telling the employee how much their contribution means to the team and the company, etc.

Quality Time Having a cup of coffee with the employee; inviting them into your office to share their thoughts on an issue, allowing them time to share what happened on the weekend with you, etc.

Acts of ServiceOffering to help a fellow employee when



Apprecia t ion in the

Workplace

they are trying to meet a deadline; making a cup of coffee for a fellow employee, etc.

Tangible Giftse.g. Bringing an employee something back if you went somewhere they like; buying an employee a book that will help them in their work; Team Building experiences where they get to go away for a period of time; paying for courses that the employee needs to go on, etc.

Physical TouchPat on the back when the employee has done well; shaking the employee’s hand to congratulate them; etc. Please be careful with this one. Employees that do not have ‘Physical Touch’ as their primary language of Appreciation will not react well to physical touch.

If you are not sure of their language of Appreciation, watch how they show appreciation. Most people show appreciation using their own primary language of Appreciation. If in doubt, ask.

3 Never miss an opportunity to show Appreciation. This is one of the

greatest motivators .

Adele Benvie [email protected]

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Something that is becoming more and more apparent to me is

the importance of showing appreciation in the workplace and in our personal lives. go to www.successco.co.za and sign up for SuCCESS NEwS.

The May issue has detailed ideas on how to show appreciation in the workplace and in your personal lives in such a way that is optimally effective,

depending on the person you are showing appreciation to. Sounds easy? It is easy, but it is also an art. Not everyone has the same ‘language of appreciation’



The Family is the very first institution that god ordained. In genesis

2, just as soon as god finishes creating the universe and all life, and declares “it is good”, he takes a look at Adam and says: “It is not good…”

what isn’t good? “ …for man to be alone”. So god joins Eve to Adam in marriage and makes them of one flesh, and the first thing he says to them is: “Be fruitful and increase in number”. And so, right from the very beginning, before sin came into the world, god ordains the institution of the Family.

why is family so important to god that it was a part of his plan from the first chapter of genesis? The concept of family was not something god imagined and created; god already existed in a representation of family within himself in the Trinity. within the Trinity there is already a type of family structure with all the necessary ‘family’ elements of headship, submission, love, help and honour. I don’t want to try to ‘package’ god into a mother, father and child... but some of the roles that god expects from these parties are exhibited in His own nature as the Trinity.

So family isn’t just one aspect of society that we mustn’t forget while we try to address all the other ‘issues’ around is... it is next to god Himself, it is the bedrock of society. It must be the foundation from which we address all other social issues. I remember someone once saying that where family is strong, AIDS is weak – and where family is weak, AIDS is strong. This may be a radical statement but I believe it is completely true. In fact I believe it goes way beyond just AIDS, to crime and poverty and almost every major issue that faces the nations of this world. It even impacts

the way we do business! we have an increasingly

individualistic, self-centred work culture where ‘what’s in it for me’ is more important than ‘what I can do for the company’. And as that happens, loyalty, honesty and integrity start to play second fiddle to a ‘win-at-all-costs’ mentality that condones backstabbing and indiscriminate self-promotion as ‘part of the game’. The Survivor series teaches us a lot in this regard.

If we ran our businesses the way god wants us to run our families, and if the members of the family honoured each other for the important roles they each play in the ‘team’, then companies today would be far more productive entities – and people would feel that they belong, that they’re really cared for, and that they bring real value to the corporate ‘family’.

But if leaders don’t have a solid sense of family themselves – if they themselves don’t know what it’s like to be part of a complete, functional, loving family – then it’s unlikely that they will find themselves replicating this model in their businesses. which brings us to the bottom line: while social and economic woes do have

a radical effect on the family, we need to recognise that they start with the breakdown of the family. The breakdown of the family is a cause of these issues far more than it is a result of them. And it is the family that we should be focusing on protecting and helping if we want to make a solid and sustainable positive impact on these other issues.

Graeme SchnellCommunications Director Focus on the Family Africa

Photos: Anissa Thompson

Why Family

is soimportant

The problem with dreams is that they are good! unlike nightmares, they don’t reveal all the hardships, the struggles

and the pain. I found this out only when my inbox was empty, my first royalty check hardly covered the amount it cost to withdraw it from the bank, and the cupboard still had three boxes full of my books no-one had bought. The only thing in good supply was doubts! I had to constantly remind myself how it had all started, and how the lord had directed everything up to that point.

A few years before, around a meal, a friend shared a joke which sparked something that had been churning in my mind for a while. It would be easy to say that I simply had a good idea and then started to write a book, but there was something deeper, more profound about how it took root in my heart. To be talented and achieve is one

thing, but its quite another to see the lord at work despite the gifts we might have.

From the very first chapter, excitement set in, and I literally could not wait to find out what would happen in the next one. The story

wrote itself, I merely filled in the words. A man called Aram who has a dream of a better place, is so convinced it is real that he sets off into foreign lands, kings and deserts to find it. The characters grew on me, even the villains! After about a year of typing on a defunct laptop, with my wife giving it the thumbs up, the rough draft was finally complete. Back then there was no doubt.

So convinced were we of this venture, and that

it was from god, that we began gearing up to publish it online, by ourselves, regardless. we had no idea how, but we knew that it was meant to happen. During this time I pulled out

The problem with dreams

is that they are good! Unlike

nightmares, they don’t reveal all the hardships, the struggles and the pain

How far can a dream take you?


one of my favourite reads, John Son of Thunder by Ellen gunderson Traylor. Curious, I googled her. Daring, I emailed her. Stunned, I heard from her… with an offer to publish through her own company – Porthole Publications!

Again, I could see that the vision placed in my heart was taking shape. Another year of editing, designing covers, and back-and-forth communication with Ellen brought us to the point where I could go and collect the first shipment of FOLLOW – a novel by Terence livingston. It’s quite something to hold a dream in your hands… to feel it, look at it, and know that He is in control. From my brother, who backed the project with much needed funds, to friends, family and church handling everything from photos, to catering, and right down to serving tea, the buzz of anticipation was like a heady funfair ride

that threatened to sweep me away.The launch was small, but fantastic,

with such incredible feedback from readers. I garnered some rave reviews, and even an interview on SABC. Everything was running along smoothly – I had set out to achieve

a dream and done it! I was on my way…

Aram’s story is based loosely on the life of Abraham in genesis – a man who has nothing else to go on but a promise. But, in fact, a lot of this journey of his hinges on actual experiences I had gone through. One of the most poignant parts in the book is Aram’s struggle working in the Jihuru mines for the fiendish khai. For

a few months as a foreman, I was based at a coal depot and the harsh conditions affected me enough to find their way into the novel. The fine black dust clung to me and the heat exhausted me, and every day seemed to

To be talented and achieve is

one thing, but its quite another to see

the Lord at work despite the gifts we might have.



If you would like to find out more about Terence and where to get hold of his book, find his blog at http://terencelivingston.blogspot.com, or email him at [email protected].

Terence [email protected]

produce a problem of its own. little did I know that I would one day relive all those emotions and turmoil. It was as though I was following the footsteps of my main character.

Once the initial hype had died down, distribution difficulties arose, negotiations with bookstores stalled, finances ran out, and the sequel – which I had finished in the meantime – sat gathering dust on the shelf. The fact that I had been retrenched a few months earlier meant our debt increased and we had to start living off welfare and handouts.

The mines of Jihuru came back to haunt me. Aram’s struggle with god became mine. His doubts about the actuality of his dream echoed my own. I felt trapped and betrayed! The fact that we somehow managed to pay rent, school fees, eat and put petrol in the car for over a year without permanent employment was almost taken for granted, until I came face to face with a very hard and painful truth.

A dream planted by god is just that! His dream He has given to me to share. Not mine to hold, to have, or to bask in the glory of. The pride I had to repent of was thick and dirty, like coal dust that gets into your pores and takes much scrubbing to eradicate. It was humiliating – humbling! Once again, I had to release this book, this dream, back to the One who gave it to me,

and trust that He had a reason to put it there in the first place. Even if it was only to bring me to a place to see my state and fall on my knees so that Jesus could do a work in me…

Often people who have read the book come up to me and comment on Aram’s encounter in the mines. Perhaps it has touched so many because it is not just his struggle, or mine – but one that we all go through at some point in our lives. questioning the lord only to find out, like Job did, that His ways are not our ways. usually it is we who have lost sight of His will and plan for our lives. In such a place, we lose our way only to find it… we lose our life only to find it again!

Has my book become a bestseller? Not yet… but if Aram’s journey in FOllOw is anything to go by, there is still some walking and working and struggling to go through, but the destination is well worth the wait.

A dream planted by God is just that! His dream He has

given to me to share. Not mine to hold, to have, or to bask in the

glory of.

ethic |'eTHik|

noun [in sing.]a set of moral principles, esp. ones relating to or affirming a specified group, field, or form of conduct:

adjective rareof or relating to moral principles or the branch of knowledge dealing with these.

ORigin late Middle English (denoting ethics or moral philosophy; also used attributively): from Old French éthique, from Latin ethice, from greek ( h) ethik (tekhno)‘(the science of) morals,’ based on ethos (see ethos)

Ethos, Ethics & Etiquette

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