Eternal Encouragement Fall Issue Excerpt

2 EternalEncouragement.com • Fall 2011, Volume XVI, Issue 3 • This Issue’s Theme: “The Heart of Obedience”

O n our vacation a few weeks ago, 8-year-old Jay and I rode our first roller coaster at Sea

World. It took quite a bit of assurance from Mom that this would be fun. I hoped I wasn’t lying when I told him it was safe or we would not ride it. The rest of our family was in the cars in front of us and in between plunging and climbing, we were able to hear and see their exuberant love for this roller coaster that they termed “tame.” As we waited in our car watching them disembark, I was thinking how thankful I was that my eye problems restrained me from riding any more thrilling rides at the parks we visited in the days to come. At the same time, I was gently getting my precious “baby” to admit, “it was kind of fun.” As we stepped out of our car, Jay turned to me and uttered in all seriousness something I had never heard him say before, “What is wrong with these people?” So he wasn’t completely sold on the idea of riding more roller coasters. Yet in the rides to come, after making sure that I didn’t mind being left alone, he was first in line for every ride and got off exclaiming how awesome they were! Last night, Randy was on the phone involved in a very important discussion about the alien movie he had watched with the boys

the night before. I wanted to have him pause for just a millisecond to answer one of my very important questions like, “What color was it I painted my fingernails last week?” and he got all discombobulated (don’t you love that word?) and lost track of his thoughts. Then he blamed me for his losing his train of thought. They were his thoughts, weren’t they? And besides, he’s the one that can’t think about two things at once. Later that evening, I got a phone call about the beach house from a lady

I didn’t know. Mid-sentence I heard Randy correct me about another “very important” fact. I was telling her where something was located and said she could find it on the post in the carport and he interjected, “Lorrie, that is a beam not a post.” I figured that would be about the equivalent of me interrupting a conversation of his to tell him that piece of furniture he was talking about was an armoire not a cupboard, so I just kept talking to her while at the same time hearing what he was saying about the beam and what she was asking about where the post that isn’t a post was. Did I turn him away with a frown? Did I ask the lady to hang on a minute? Did I lose track of my thoughts? Nope. However, in all fairness, I can multi-task, but the small but all-so- important details, those are the things that escape me. If I’m in charge of the coffee for the meeting, you better stop at Starbucks on the way!

EE Updates This spring we launched our membership program, where for $9.97 a month you get one brand new eBook, audio, and/or video from me. This is called The Encouraging Mom and not only is it an incredible deal, it is so

Photo by Nancy Baetz

Eternal Encouragement Magazine • 18016 West Spring Lake Drive, Renton, Washington 98058 • email: [email protected] 3

rewarding to read what the moms are saying about what God is doing in their lives as a result. In July, we began accepting applications for the second year of The Gabby Moms. This is our blogging program. If you know someone who

has a blog and wants to look more like Jesus, they can apply. If approved, we send them a product a month for them to share about how it helped them, or didn’t, on their own blogs. I was especially touched to read that one of the moms attributes this program with saving her marriage. Thank you, Lord. Also in July, we introduced a new book, Yelling: The Cause, The Casualty, and The Cure. I have been so encouraged by the feedback to this. I have struggled with yelling at my children, and the Lord really did a work in me eleven years ago. This book is a result of my own experience with overcoming the compulsion to yell. In the middle of August we are coming out with our first video. I wrote it just this last weekend and I am so excited about it. I’m

waiting for my normal pipsqueak voice to replace the one that sounds like there’s a clothespin on the end my nose before I record it. I expect it will be approximately an hour long, and it is called, From Exhausted, Irritable, and Overwhelmed to . . . An Energized and

Fulfilled Woman of God. Currently, I am prayerfully beginning to decide where and when to go and do Extreme Mom Makeovers this fall, winter, and spring. We’ll be going from coast to coast this year, and if God uses these to impact the lives of families like He did last year, then these one-day retreats will be worth the sacrifice. Reading the letters, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for what God is doing! Ladies, will you pray with me for Randy to hear the Lord clearly as to what our schedule and destinations should be? And for the rest of us here at EE, that we would know with a certainty what to

spend our time on that will bless our readers and allow us to continue with this ministry through another winter in this poor economy.

From L to R: Kiley 14, Haley 12, and Dessaly 16

From L to R: Dessaly, 17; Kiley, 15; Haley, 13.


Board of Directors: Randy and Lorrie Flem John Nolan, Craig and Tena Cinnamon Customer Service: [email protected]

Encouraging Moments Karen Cook, Senior Editor [email protected]

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Publication Layout & Design: Karen Cook

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The Encouraging Mom Donna Venning, Director [email protected]

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Publisher’s Assistant Karen Cook

Printer: Mike McCoy, Jostens Publishing [email protected]

Eternal Encouragement Magazine Editing Team: Karla Sigrist, Final Editor; Tena Cinnamon, Kelly O. Johnson, John Nolan, Emily Sather, Brianna van der Veen IT Systems & Website Design Kim Sample BlackCrowDesigns.com

Facebook Editor Karen Cook

Your Encouragement Team Publisher: Lorrie Flem

Eternal Encouragement Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited. U.S. Subscriptions: $25.97 per year. Customer Service: For 24/7 service, please visit our website: EternalEncouragement.com. You can also call (877) 967-7587, or write us at Eternal Encouragement, 18016 West Spring Lake Drive, Renton, WA 98058.

About Us

W e believe that God has first delegated to parents the authority and responsibility to teach and raise their children. Parents can delegate their authority to someone else, but they can never

delegate their responsibility. Each issue of Eternal Encouragement has a new theme. Don't miss our Winter 2011 issue. Our theme will be “Respectfully Yours.” It is sure to be full of challenging ideas to use in your life and home. Is your subscription about to run out? If your label says "Fall 11," this is your last issue. It’s time to renew so you don’t miss a visit! The post office will not forward bulk mail. If you move, please be sure to send us your change of address so that your issue will find you. If it gets lost in the shuffle, you may replace a copy for $12.97. Would you like to hear from us more often? We have a FREE eNewsletter that contains 100 percent different content than the pages of this magazine. To subscribe to the eNewsletter, please visit our website, EternalEncouragement.com. You'll love it! Each of your thoughts, ideas, or complete articles is welcome. Please send them to [email protected]. Upcoming themes: Winter 2011—Respectfully Yours; Spring 2012—CHAOS (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome); Summer 2012—The Language of Friendships; Fall 2012—Getting Things Done; Winter 2012—Perfectly Peaceful.


“E at your greens.” We may have heard that a time or

two while we were growing up! It turns out that even better advice would be to eat the colors found in the rainbow or in a box of crayons. Colorful fruit and vegetables, from red apples to green beans, yellow squash to purple plums, blueberries to carrots, are packed with goodness—and are beautiful, too! For vibrant color, intense taste, nutritional value, and versatility it’s hard to beat the humble sweet potato. Frequently (though incorrectly) called yams, sweet potatoes are relatively inexpensive, widely available, and store well. And believe it or not, it’s not only

possible but actually delightful to eat sweet potatoes that haven’t been smothered by marshmallows! Not a fan of sweet potatoes? Maybe these nutritional facts will help. One cup of cooked sweet potato (about one medium baked in its skin) contains about 180 calories. It is packed with 26 percent of the recommended daily allowance (RDA) of fiber

(based on a 2000 calorie per day intake). It also contains 8 percent of the RDA of protein, 769 percent of Vitamin A, 65 percent of Vitamin C, and 29 percent of Vitamin B6, as well as high levels of manganese, potassium, and magnesium. The numbers may vary slightly from one reference source to another, but there’s no dispute that sweet potatoes are extremely nutritious. A baked sweet potato can be the easiest lunch ever! Just prick with a fork and microwave until soft. (Start with three minutes, then microwave a minute at a time until done.) Split open, dot with butter, and sprinkle with a little cinnamon. Fat from the butter actually helps with the absorption of beta carotene . . . so enjoy it guilt- free! Simply delicious! The following easy side dish is a favorite with my family. I usually serve this with ham or grilled pork chops. I don’t really have a recipe, but here’s what to do. Select enough sweet

potatoes and redskin potatoes to serve your family. I allow about half a medium sweet potato and a handful of redskins per person. Peel the sweet potatoes and cut into ¾-inch cubes. Scrub the redskins and cube them, too. Place all in a bowl and toss with a couple of tablespoons (or as needed) of olive oil, and a couple

tablespoons of balsamic vinegar. You just need enough oil and vinegar to coat the potatoes. Drain off extra liquid, if necessary. Sprinkle with seasoned salt and freshly ground pepper. Spread in a single layer on a cookie sheet with sides or a shallow casserole dish, and bake at 400° until tender—about 40 minutes, depending on your oven. Stir occasionally while


cooking, so that all sides of the potatoes crisp up nicely.

Easy Sweet Potato Maple Soup We’ll soon be heading into the season of soups and stews. This smooth, silky soup makes a lovely appetizer for a fall meal.

6 sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed 1 large, sweet onion, sliced water ½ cup real maple syrup (the real thing) 2 teaspoons vanilla kosher salt to taste pinch cayenne pepper

Place potatoes, onion, and vanilla in slow cooker and cover with water. Cook on high for 6 hours. Add syrup to the potato mixture. Ladle soup in batches into blender, and puree until smooth. Keep pureed soup in a large bowl or pot until all batches are complete. When all the soup has been pureed, put it back in the slow cooker set on low, to keep warm. Add salt and cayenne pepper to taste. Serve in cups and garnish with a small dollop of sour cream and a sprinkling of chives or orange zest for an extra special presentation! Serves six as a meal (with a hearty bread on the side) or more as an appetizer. Note: Be careful—soup will be hot when pureeing. Place a folded kitchen towel on top of the blender lid to keep it down and prevent hot soup from splashing and burning.

Beth’s Sweet Potato & Pecan Souffle Even my picky eaters love the recipe that follows. I substitute rice flour to make a gluten-free version of this favorite.

3 cups mashed sweet potato*

2 eggs ¼ cup white sugar 2 tablespoons flour 1 teaspoon vanilla

Beat these five ingredients together with an electric mixer until fluffy. Spread in lightly greased baking dish. Sprinkle with topping.

Topping: ½ cup packed brown sugar 3 tablespoons flour 2 tablespoons butter chopped pecans

Using your fingers, crumble the sugar, butter, and flour together in a bowl. Sprinkle evenly over sweet potato and top with a layer of chopped pecans. Bake at 350° for 30 minutes. Makes a 9-inch pie plate or quiche dish—double recipe quantities and increase baking time by 15 minutes for a 9”x13” pan. *Prick 4 or 5 medium-sized sweet potatoes with fork and bake or microwave until tender. Mash pulp with a fork. Cool. This is so good you’ll think you’ve skipped dinner and gone straight to dessert! But, of course you haven’t. You’ve eaten your colored veggies and provided a fine example to the rest of the family. What’s not to love? This season, try making room at the table for fresh sweet potatoes—not their canned and candied cousins. Your family may thank you, and your health certainly will!

Eleanor Joyce is a full-time wife and homemaker, and mother to “three teens and a twenty.” She works part-time from

home wrangling words as a writer, editor, and proofreader. Visit her

online at EleanorJoyce.com.

Meet the Sweet Potato


“W hat has God ever done for me?" grumbled an

angry 23-year-old man named Victor. "I mean, why should I believe this so-called God guy loves me as you say He does, when He hasn't done anything to help me or my life?!"

"Oh?" said his uncle sitting next to him on the couch. "What do you feel has gone wrong in your life that God caused?" Victor snapped, "I didn't say God caused it, but He sure didn't do anything to help me out! I had to deal with some pretty bad things all on my own. And no thanks to Him, I fixed them all on my own, too!" His uncle nodded slightly and replied, "I assume you are referring to the hard time you began having when you got involved in street drugs and heavy drinking?" "That's part of it," responded Victor as he glared out the window.

His uncle turned to look at him, and then said, "Did your parents teach you or tell you to get involved with these dangerous substances that can affect how you think and behave?" "Of course not!" snapped Victor. "I'm guessing they tried warning you, but you chose not to obey; correct?" responded his uncle as he straightened himself out in his seat. He continued, "And they probably taught you the importance of eating right, taking care of your health, staying close to God, and being careful about the friends you chose, right?" Victor hesitated, then angrily replied, "All right! They were my choices, not my parents’! I take full responsibility for my actions!" Victor's uncle again turned to look at him, then quickly replied, "Do you? About everything?" Victor looked puzzled. "What are you talking about?" His uncle straightened his back one more time and replied, "Do you also take responsibility for the fact it was you who turned your back on God? You keep asking what has God done for you, but it would seem to me that the question really is, what have YOU done for

©2011 Cathy Yeulet. Image from BigStockPhoto.com.


God lately?" Victor immediately snapped at his uncle, "Hey, I prayed out to God a few times to make all the bad things go away, but He didn't!" His uncle nodded, reached for Victor's hand, and said, "He didn't, or you didn't?" Victor quickly replied, "I kept on drinking, doing drugs, being disrespectful to my family, and other things I probably shouldn't have, but God could have stopped me, made all the bad things go away, and He didn't! He ignored me, or maybe He doesn't even exist at all so that's why He did nothing!" As he held his nephew's hand, Victor's uncle calmly responded, "Victor, God is not a puppet master who pulls our strings so we will do what He wants us to do. He loves us so much that He gave us free will. Even though you may have wanted God to take all the bad things away, your actions and choices revealed that you really didn't want anything to change. How do I know that? Because isn't it true you kept on drinking, taking drugs, and being disrespectful to your family?" Victor was at a loss for words. "Words are often shallow, Victor. It is our actions which prove what is really in our heart. What do you think your actions have showed God? Have they showed Him you love Him and want to be close to Him, that you want Him to be Lord of your life? Or do they show Him that you want to ignore His commands and remain in the lifestyle you have been living and only call on Him when the going gets tough?" The look on Victor's face began to change. The anger and resentment he had been holding

in so long toward his family and God suddenly seemed to melt away. "I guess I had been blaming my parents and God when I should have been blaming myself," he said quietly. Real life application: Many people blame God for what they themselves have chosen. We must remember: when we choose the action, we also choose the consequence. As a loving Heavenly Father, God wants the

best for us, and He is willing and able to deliver us from even the most dire circumstances. However, we need to also want it for ourselves, not just through lip-service, but through word and deed.

Copyright ©2005 Melanie Schurr

by Melanie Schurr

“Hey, I prayed out to God a few times to make all

the bad things go away, but He didn't!”


A n old trapper stopped in a small town just north of the

Okefenokee Swamp in Georgia. He walked into the general store. Sitting around the pot-bellied stove were seven or eight of the town's local citizens. The traveler spoke. “Gentlemen, could you direct me to the Okefenokee Swamp?” Some of the old-timers looked at him like he was crazy. “You must be a stranger in these parts. In the Okefenokee Swamp are thousands of wild hogs,” one old man explained. “A man who goes into the swamp by himself asks to die!” He lifted up his leg. “I lost half my leg here to the pigs of the swamp.” Another said, “Those pigs have been free since the Revolution, fending for themselves. They're wild and they're dangerous. You can't trap them. No man dares go into the swamp by himself.” Every man nodded his head in agreement.

The old trapper said, “Thank you for the warning. Now, could you direct me to the swamp?” They told him, but they begged him not to go. They knew he'd meet a terrible fate. He said, “Sell me ten sacks of corn, and help me load it in the wagon.” And they did.

Then the old trapper bid them farewell and drove on down the road. The townsfolk thought they'd never see him again. Two weeks later, the man came back. He bought ten more sacks of corn and headed back down the road toward the swamp. Two weeks later, he returned and bought ten more sacks of corn. This went on for three months. Every week or two the old trapper would come into town, load up ten sacks of corn, and drive off south into the swamp. The stranger soon became a legend in the little village and the subject of much speculation. People wondered what kind of devil had possessed this man, that he could go into the Okefenokee by himself and not be consumed by the wild and free hogs. One morning, the man came into town as usual. Everyone thought he wanted more corn. He got off the wagon and went into the store where the usual group of men was gathered around the stove. He took off his gloves. “Gentlemen,” he said, “I need to hire fifteen wagons and thirty men. I have six thousand hogs out in the swamp, penned up, and they're all hungry. I've got to get them to market right away.” “You've what in the swamp?” asked the storekeeper, incredulously. “I have six thousand hogs penned up. They haven't eaten for two or three days, and they'll starve if I don't get back there to feed them.” One of the old-timers said, “You mean you've captured the wild hogs of the Okefenokee? How did you do that?” “What did you do?” the men urged, breathlessly. The trapper said, “Well, the first week I went in there they were wild all right. They hid in the undergrowth and wouldn't come out. I dared not get off the wagon. “So I spread corn along behind the wagon. Every day I'd spread a sack of corn. The old pigs would have nothing to do with it. But the younger pigs decided that it was easier to eat free corn than it was to root out roots and catch snakes. So the very young began to eat

“People wondered what kind of devil had possessed this man, that he could go into the Okefenokee by himself and not be consumed by the wild and free hogs.”


the corn first. I did this every day. Pretty soon, even the old pigs decided that it was easier to eat free corn. After all, they were all free; they were not penned up. They could run off in any direction they wanted at any time. “The next thing was to get them used to eating in the same place all the time. So I selected a clearing, and I started putting the corn in the clearing. At first, they wouldn't come to the clearing. It was too far. It was too open. But the very young decided that it was easier to take the corn in the clearing than it was to root out roots and catch their own snakes. And not long thereafter, the older pigs also decided that it was easier to come to the clearing every day. “And so the pigs learned to come to the clearing every day to get their free corn. They could still supplement their diet with roots and snakes and whatever else they wanted. After all, they were all free. They could run in any direction at any time. “The next step was to get them used to fence posts. So I put fence posts all the way around the clearing. I put them in the underbrush so that they wouldn't get suspicious. After all, they were just sticks in the ground, like the trees and the brush. The corn was there every day. It was easy to walk in between the posts, get the corn, and walk back out. This went on for a week. They became used to walking into the clearing, getting the corn, and walking back out through the posts. “The next step was to put one rail down at the bottom. I left a few openings, so that the older pigs could walk through the openings and the younger pigs could easily jump over just one rail. It was no real threat to their freedom or independence. They could always jump over the rail and flee in any direction at any time. “I began to feed them every other day. On the days I didn't feed them, they still gathered in the clearing. They squealed and begged me to feed them. But I only fed them every other day. I put a second rail around the posts.

“The pigs became more and more desperate for food, because they were no longer used to going out and digging their own roots. They now needed me and my corn every other day. So I trained them that I would feed them every day if they came in through a gate. And I put up a third rail around the fence. But it was still no great threat to their freedom because there were several gates and they could run in and out at will. “Finally, I put up the fourth rail. Then I closed all the gates but one, and I fed them very, very well. Yesterday, I closed the last gate. And today, I need you to help me take these pigs to market.” Editor’s Note: This allegory has more than one moral lesson. One is that obedience is not a destination point where, once you have arrived, you stay. Obedience is a constant moment-by-moment decision. Sin, like corn, easily ensnares us if we are not ever-vigilant. Just because we didn’t eat the free corn one day doesn’t mean we won’t tomorrow. The second moral I see is the price of freedom. Government money is used to bait, trap, and enslave a once-free people. Federal welfare has reduced not only individuals to a state of dependency, but now state and local governments are on the fast track to elimination due to their being subverted by the command and control structures of federal revenue-sharing programs. Just say NO to federal corn! The bacon you save may be your own.

Author Unknown


H ave you ever looked at your teen and stood in awe of

God Who created him? Each of our teens is a special creation of our heavenly Father. A passage of Scripture we all love because it causes us to contemplate the awesomeness of our God is Psalm139:14, “I will give thanks to Thee, for [my teen] is fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Thy works, And my soul knows it very well.” Even though there are many incredible parts of the human body, let’s consider just two: our skin and the brain. Skin: God-Given Covering. Our young people may be battling acne as a result of hormone changes, but our skin is an incredible organ and is only one of the many wonders of the human body. For example, the textile industry has developed several amazing fabrics, most notably Gore-Tex, which have the ability to be simultaneously waterproof, windproof, and breathable (meaning that vapor from perspiration will pass through the fabric). But as amazing as Gore-Tex is, it does not begin to rival God’s unique covering—our skin. Skin, like Gore-Tex, is waterproof, windproof and breathable. But unlike Gore-Tex, our skin also acts as a temperature regulator. When our teens become overheated playing basketball, glands in their skin release sweat. The sweat

then evaporates, cooling their body. On the other hand, when they become too cool while cheering on the sidelines of a soccer game during a cold spring day, their body retains heat by narrowing the blood vessels in their skin. As a result, the flow of blood near the surface of their body decreases, so less heat escapes their body. Also, along with having nerve endings in the skin that are sensitive to heat and cold, our skin has nerve endings that are sensitive to pressure, touch, and pain. Our teens probably appreciate the function of pressure and touch. Pain, on the other hand, is something they would probably prefer to minimize, if not get rid of all together. But pain has a very important purpose. Our skin senses pain for our protection. God, in His wonderful provision, built into the human body mechanisms for protecting itself. Unlike Gore-Tex, our skin is also capable of regenerating itself if it is punctured, torn, or scraped. This amazing feature about our skin is often taken for granted. We would all be stunned and incredulous if a favorite coat torn by a protruding nail mended itself without us doing anything. We would think, “Wow, that is pretty neat!” But our skin does it all the time. Our skin has yet another unique feature. Unlike the fabric Gore-Tex, our skin grows with us. Most, if not all of us, however, are probably very glad that our clothes don’t grow with us. The adorable little outfit that our teen wore home from the hospital when just a couple of days old just wouldn’t look quite right on a

Standing in Awe


sixteen-year-old. One last striking contrast between Gore-Tex and our skin is that while Gore-Tex tends to be comparatively costly, our skin is absolutely free. Only an omnipotent and all-wise God could have designed and created an incredible organ like skin. The Brain: The Wonder of Memory. Our brain is yet another remarkable organ that causes us to contemplate the greatness of our God. The brain can be compared to a computer processing more than a million messages a second. One author writes concerning an important aspect of the brain, “The brain contains the higher centers of thought and is the chief organ of the mind. . . . In some mysterious way, the brain allows us to form ideas and make decisions.” The mystery and wonder of memory is perhaps the most fascinating of all. Memory is the ability to retain a past experience and recall it. The language we use to communicate, the ability to recognize family, friends, and acquaintances, the ability to recognize a specific odor or fragrance, sound or touch, and even our habits are all dependent upon our memory. Just think how much your teens have learned over the years. Can you imagine how laborious it would be if they had to think about how to get out of bed each and every morning

because they had no memory of what they had done the day before? Brushing their teeth would be a real chore. Without memory, they could live only in each moment and the past would be as though it had never been. There would be no learning, no knowledge of anything, no possibility of thought or speech, no meaning of any kind. Everything that happens would be as new and

strange to us as if it had never happened before (God’s Living Creation, p. 160). But most importantly, without memory our teens could not know God. It is memory and our teens’ ability to think and reason that makes it possible for them to have a personal relationship with their Creator. Recalling joys and hard times helps them remember God’s mercy and love. Memory makes it possible for them to

contemplate God’s goodness and His many blessings to them. As we stand in awe of our glorious God Who gave us the gift of our teen many years ago, may we also give thanks that our teen is fearfully and wonderfully made.

©2011 Tyler Burk. Image from BigStockPhoto.com.

Audrey has a heartfelt desire to encourage parents to be the primary spiritual

disciplers of their own children. She and her husband, Doug, have been married 35 years

and have two grown children.


I always look forward to our speaking weekends where I do

day retreats called Extreme Mom Makeovers*. I always take at least one daughter and we have mini-adventures. We fly out and I share on making our hearts and lives more beautiful to God, others, and ourselves. As I speak, my daughter works at our book table. After going out to dinner with the hostess, we are ready to do nothing in our hotel room, and we try to squeeze in a little shopping before flying home. Yet almost as soon as we are on the plane, my heart starts longing for home. I visualize us walking in, and I remember what it feels like. Coming home after a trip is about as close to heaven as I can get here on earth. It is contentment, peace, joy, and fulfillment all rolled up in one. As soon as we land and get to the van filled with smiling faces welcoming us home, I instantly feel the responsibility shift from being “mom in charge” to a wife who is thrilled to release the mantle of accountability back onto the stronger shoulders of my gorgeous hunk of a husband. I am always struck with the renewed understanding that this is where I am supposed to be. This is where I WANT to be. This fulfillment that comes from being home is a result of harmony. Harmony refreshes, soothes, and creates energy. This brings a smile to your face, a spring to your step, and a song to your heart. The sounds, smells, and spirit of a home are rejuvenating. Coming home to a house

with signs of tidiness, familiarity, and harmony takes a tired body and mind and begins its gentle work of

restoration. It makes you glad to be home and want to stay there. Does this just happen? I’ll explore that with you in another article on page 48. For now, let’s limit ourselves to the idea that we can strive to create and achieve harmony in our homes so that they are life-giving and nourishing. How do we do that? Let’s look at some of them using the acronym “nourish.”

N ooks, niches, nice spots of loveliness. Decorate your home to make it a place of

beauty. Beauty raises life above mere existence. Think about what areas of your home are trouble spots, not in terms of organization, but in terms of being a refuge and a place to relax. As you identify areas that bring stress, ask the Lord to reveal to you some inexpensive ideas you can implement to make each part of your home do its job: refresh and nourish you and your loved ones.

O rder. A home that nourishes souls needs order. Chaos can be fun for five minutes, but

after that it wears and depletes. In order for our homes to do their job of building spirits, there needs to be more order than disorder. Of course, any home with life in it will have signs of activity. A few books on the table and a couple of bowls on the counter are not what I am talking about. Perfect order is cold and soulless, but signs of living and learning in the midst of a tidy environment are life-giving. Develop necessary cleaning skills and habits so that your home remains relatively tidy. Remember that clutter causes stress and more mess. Also, understand that without constant attention to tidying, your home will have a spirit of neglect. When the home’s atmosphere is cold and unappealing, you are more likely to leave your home and seek food and entertainment elsewhere. And while you are out, you are prone to do some window shopping and buy some trinket you don't really need. Spending more money leads to pressure to work more hours,

by Mrs. Lorrie Flem


more time spent away from home, and more neglect of home life—a vicious circle that isn't easy to break.

U ndergird. I talk a lot about undergirding our husbands and that is definitely something that

will make a home build and strengthen a heart. There is so much we can do to anticipate the needs and wants of others. If you know your husband is going to have an especially busy day on his feet, make a quiet, refreshing evening your goal. Do the same kind of thing for your children. Doing all you can to anticipate needs will make you feel fulfilled and your family feel loved.

R efresh and renew yourself so that your reflection mirrors Jesus to those around you.

Make sure that your quiet time is a daily occurrence so your heart spills over with thanksgiving for a great God and the great things

He has done, is doing, and is yet to do. Face anger, anxiety, fear and depression with prayer and strength, faith and hope. Our homes reflect our own state of mind and heart. Make yours beautiful to look at. Do the same for your family. Make sure their hearts are regularly refreshed. Encourage them to be growing in their relationships with the Lord and do little things to keep all of your relationships strong and united. Picnics, walks, game nights, and family time are little things that have big results.

I n tune. A large part of harmony is achieved through things that create an atmosphere of

peace. There are so many things you can do. Play praise and worship music to lift everyone’s spirits and keep their focus on what is good and important. Remember, King Saul was refreshed and calmed by David’s worship. I like to make Scripture a part of my décor. I have done this by framed art, carved wood signs, and some press-on vinyl appliqués. Don’t overlook things

like candles, warm snuggly blankets, and a nicely set table to keep your home’s ambiance lovely and in tune.

S peak words that encourage, comfort, and edify others as a habit. For some, this will mean

needing to retrain and restrain your tongue, not saying all that you think. Words like, “You are doing a great job,” and, “I am so proud of you,” instead of, “You’re never going to finish at that rate,” and, “I wish you would ___.” When you offer life-giving and grace-filled words to your loved ones, you are building hope and strength.

H ope and love are powerful attitudes. They will encourage and inspire others on to bigger and

better things. Think about how you meet mistakes and sins. Instead of reacting in anger, be thankful for the opportunity to help where help is needed because they are giving in to sin. Meet

sins with love and hope. By making our homes havens of hope and love we offer stability, comfort, and a place of grace.

Ladies, this is a picture of my heart. I long to be this kind of woman, and yet I consistently fail in all of these areas. Look at this as a glimpse into my “Impossible for Me, but Possible for God Prayer List.” I am all too familiar with what comes from not nourishing as above, and I am just beginning to realize the blessings that come from building and creating a home that nourishes. Even the most outgoing, company-loving person needs a safe haven to relax in after the daily tasks are completed. Home is irreplaceable. Home is sweet, soothing, and comforting. When you fail, get right back up, repent, and start over again with God’s grace to do the very things He wants you to do. You will only be sorry if you don’t do all you can to build a home that nourishes you and your family. *Visit EternalEncouragement.com and click on the “Extreme Mom Makeovers” tab to invite me to come to your town!

“Coming home after a trip is about as close to heaven as I can get here on earth.”


I intended to let you know this earlier, but life has a way

of getting in the way! I've received the most recent issue in the mail and I absolutely LOVE the new size. It is going to be perfect for taking with me to read in a waiting room or in the car. Thanks, and keep up the great work. May the Lord bless you!

- Robin, email note

L orrie Flem speaks with so much practical wisdom. She

is very real and very present and freely admits her failures but also her successes as she walks with God. I will go out of my way to hear her again.

- Lori, Texas

T hank you so much for coming to Alaska and

encouraging us to live like Jesus! What a blessing you are. Thank you for being an instrument of God's grace. Love to you, dear sister!

Robin, Facebook (The Sisterhood of Joyful

Dishwashers!)

T oday I listened to my first preview speaker for the

Ultimate Homeschool Expo and WOW! She was amazing! Her name was Lorrie Flem of Eternal Encouragement Magazine. It was such a blessing! She opened in prayer and used Scripture like a mad woman! And she really convicted me about feeling like my "little" job as mommy and homemaker wasn't enough! I was blown away!

- Candie, blogger

T his little gem has literally lived with me for the last

month and a half. I keep it in my purse . . . it is just the perfect size. My daughter and I read it while we were at the emergency room waiting for her to have her knee xrayed . . . (Don't worry, nothing was broken!) It has been to church, ball games, doctor visits, the optometrist office. . . . I have read it while the boys played at the park and inside McDonald's. . . . It is the most traveled magazine I have ever read. It wasn't just the size that made it compelling . . . The content kept calling to me . . . to read, and re-read . . . absorb . . . and be refreshed. These last few weeks have been N-U-T-S . . . and in the few, slightly stolen, quiet moments I have had . . . Eternal Encouragement Magazine is what I have grabbed. I have remained focused by reading articles like, "Four Principles of NOT Wasting Time." I was encouraged to cultivate a "Lady in Waiting," and nurture the relationship with my daughter. Housework has gone smoother since reading "See a Mess and Work a Lot Less." The Article "Picket Fence Pondering" by Amy M. O'Quinn gently spoke to my heart during this time that is so busy.

©2011 Cathy Yeulet. Image from BigStockPhoto.com.

http://www.subscribe.eternalencouragement.com/

http://www.subscribe.eternalencouragement.com/


. . . She said, "How many of us are guilty of letting what's important in life slip by because we are so focused on things that don't matter or ones we have no control over." What a great reminder to check my priorities and make sure I am busy for the RIGHT reasons.

- Julie, blogger

M y life gets cluttered up with stuff. Sometimes bad

stuff—sometimes good stuff. And instead of taking time for regular maintenance, I just get too busy and don't take care of it. The problem is that I will have to deal with it eventually—and it will be overwhelming by that point. Much better to take the time and tackle things before they grow too big! . . . wouldn't you know it? Just like my review a few months ago, God

used it to speak to me about how I had misused my time—routine maintenance isn't just for computers—it's for people, too! The importance of time, ways to stop wasting time, utilizing a timer, etc. Plus, there were plenty of other helpful, encouraging articles. (And some convicting ones, as

well!) There were so many wonderful little nuggets of wisdom . . . What a great blessing to be reminded of what's truly important! I just wasn't expecting it to be by words in a magazine! This is an easy-to-read, purse-sized magazine. Just perfect for those little bits of time you have while waiting. Definitely encouraging! Definitely recommended.

- Stacie, blogger

I f you are looking for a dynamic speaker who can

touch the heart of an audience, she can. Lorrie’s honest, relevant, story-telling style makes her compelling and effective. I know that this one day changed my attitude toward my home, my children, and saved my marriage. Lorrie Flem and Eternal

Encouragement Magazine are the best!

- Susan, Nebraska

E ternal Encouragement is about just what it says,

encouragement for all women, regardless of whether we homeschool or not. Eternal Encouragement is so much deeper and has helped me so much. I can honestly say it helped save my marriage.

- A Gabby Mom

- Phyllis Theroux

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/p/phyllisthe108706.html


by Christa Sterken

©2011 Kurt De Bruyn. Image from BigStockPhoto.com.

“S o watch your step, friends. Make sure there's no evil

unbelief lying around that will trip you up and throw you off course, diverting you from the living God. For as long as it's still God's today, keep each other on your toes so sin doesn't slow down your reflexes. “If we can only keep our grip on the sure thing we started out with, we're in this with Christ for the long haul. These words keep ringing in our ears: Today, please listen; don’t turn a deaf ear as in the bitter uprising,” Hebrews 3:12–15 (The Message). The problem with this taking care of yourself advice is that it takes the focus away from the true source of our energy. Learning to focus on God for my needs is ultimately more satisfying. My efforts deplete far too quickly. The time I spend on me could have been even more fulfilling when multiplied into efforts for we. Let’s look into this passage even deeper . . . “So watch your step, friends. Make sure there's no evil unbelief lying around that will trip you up and throw you off course, diverting you from the living God.” While these ideas offer great resources at face value, there seems to be an underlying theme. I see little encouragement in the way of promoting bonding with your husband as a way of refilling. In fact, there is an undercurrent nibbling at my heart that perhaps he was part

of the problem! When I forget to make time to include my husband in rejuvenation efforts, it is easy to get tripped up by the growing rebellion of wanting my needs met first. “For as long as it's still God's today, keep each other on your toes so sin doesn't slow down your reflexes.” It is helpful to meet a friend who works hard to put her husband first, working to promote a godly marriage. This is a new concept to me, and she keeps me on my toes. It takes diligence to soften my heart and build reflexes that spring me toward my husband as a source of comfort. The effort put into strengthening my marriage pays off in substantial dividends as we grasp each other’s hands. Not only for the short term but in the

Don’t Harden Your Hearts


Christa Sterken is married to her best friend, Art, and is grateful to homeschool

their two amazing daughters. What an exciting journey it is! She enjoys sharing life observations through her freelance writing.

lean times when passion is scarce. The more my husband and I invest, the stronger our marriage becomes. “If we can only keep our grip on the sure thing we started out with, we're in this with Christ for the long haul.” The more I learn to love God, the more it overflows to my husband. “These words keep ringing in our ears: Today, please listen; don't turn a deaf ear as in the bitter uprising.” What comes to mind after reading this scripture is how attuned my thinking has become to cultural thinking. I determine to not listen to popular media as my source. I will turn a deaf ear to the uprising against believing that spousal time could fill my void. My husband and I have always been independent. We encourage each other to do things that fill us up individually. Time alone is fulfilling. Please pause here; we must establish a practice of checking our hearts closely. Do we choose to fill our cup as a personal retreat? Or a retreat from our spouse? Be careful. What seems innocent can become the death of a relationship. Sadly, I have seen this many times. Focusing on “me” has been the downfall of many marriages. Enjoy the times alone that bring you peace, but delight in the joys of companionship as well. Now, ready for practical ways to guard against the hardening of your heart? Here are three ways to make together time happen . . .

One of the most common reasons parents say they stop dating each other is a lack of babysitters. Money is tight, and there is seldom the cash for both the date and the sitter. The solution doesn’t cost a penny! Here is where bartering comes in. Trade with others. Do you have a friend or two you could set up a schedule with? Both families benefit with competent adults to care for the children.

Grab a notepad and start listing ideas for potential date nights. My husband and I have a favorite place, but it is easy to get in a rut. Having choices in advance offers variety if a chance to date comes along unexpectedly! Create columns: free, cheap, and special occasion. Search the internet for cheap date nights. Look

through your local paper for festivals and events in your area. Listen for recommendations when someone raves about a new place to go; mark this in the special occasion column. Dates can be much more than movies and dinners.

Dress nicely. We can become markedly lax in long-term relationships. Put a little extra effort into being attractive to his sensibilities. I am not supporting becoming someone you are not. Husbands do appreciate that extra push to show him the spark of the woman who caught his eye. In the context of “adoring our husbands” they appreciate us as women.

Let our focus for refreshment come from the Author of good things. Then enjoy as it trickles into the blessed relationship of our gift of marriage.

“When I forget to make time to include my husband in

rejuvenation efforts, it is easy to get tripped

up by the growing rebellion of wanting my needs met first. “


W hy is it we do all we do? What is our motivation?

With all our many job descriptions—mommy, wife, homemaker, teacher, laundress, seamstress, and chief boo-boo kisser—our lives are busy, sometimes to the point of distraction. Recently, I read a book about Amy Carmichael, an amazing missionary woman who ministered in India. This biography was written by Elisabeth Elliot, an equally amazing woman of God. To Amy, everything was God’s work. Changing a diaper or sweeping a floor, preparing a meal, even laundry, was as important as leading a person to Christ. It was because of her passion for Christ that she did the cleaning and caring. I was challenged to consider how many times I see these things as separate from God's work, instead of the very task He has given me. As Amy Carmichael labored, caring for the lost temple children of India, she often received letters from those who were looking to come and work with her. She was ever careful in those she chose to labor with. Her work was hard, unglamorous, full of sickness and pain. The workers needed to be carefully chosen. She wanted them to have a clear understanding of the work they would be doing. Here is a list of questions that Amy asked those applying to work with her on the mission field. It was said that Amy would sum these questions up with one statement, written to the applicant: Do not come unless you can say to your Lord and to us, the cross is the attraction. I challenge you to answer these

questions, as if Christ Himself was writing to you, as an interview for your position of motherhood.

1. Do you truly desire to live a crucified life? (This may mean doing very humble things joyfully for His Name’s sake.)

2. Does the thought of hardness draw you or repel you?

3. Do you realize that we are a family, not an institution? Are you willing to do whatever helps most?

4. Apart from the Bible, can you name three or four books which have been of vital help to you? Apart from books, what refreshes you most when tired?

5. Have you ever learned any classical or continental language?

6. Have you ever had opportunity to prove our Lord’s promise to supply temporal as well as spiritual needs?

7. Can you mention any experience you have passed through in your Christian life which brought you into a new discovery of your union with the crucified, risen, and enthroned Lord?

Do you think your answers would have won you the job? When reading this list of questions, asked of those who felt called to a life of missionary work, I was compelled to examine my own life and heart for God. I have often said that raising my children is my mission field, but really, in the middle of the everyday craziness of it, do I act like it? God


by Julie Coney, a Gabby Mom

has given me four precious gifts to teach, train, and admonish in His ways, but is the cross the attraction to my work? Do I care for a sick child because I have to? Or do I care for them with

Christ’s love? (I will confess to you that at 3:00 a.m., when there is a cranky baby up for the third night in a row, or my 8-year-old has barfed over the edge of the bunk bed . . . again, I am surely

not feeling Christ’s love for

that child! I am selfishly wanting my sleep!) I was ashamed that, as I searched and examined my motives behind the countless little things that are done each day, the cross was not my attraction. I am prone to grumble about the dishes in the sink. I will roll my eyes and sigh loudly when my teens have walked by the laundry pile for the 7,000th time that afternoon. I whine to my husband about how I am the only

one who does anything around here. I am not as selfless as I would like to think. I needed to be reminded: unless Christ is first, I am just a selfish and bitter mom, playing the role of a martyr, complaining about the work God has given me to do. As I reflect on the cross, I need to remember Who hung there. My Savior did. Jesus, God's Son. One Who didn't deserve a death such as that. I know that is the level of sacrifice that is called for from me. I need to be that selfless, that humble. I need to let go of me and my rights, and let more of Jesus be seen in the way I talk to and serve my family. I need to love my family like I love Jesus. Through the humility that was displayed on the cross, I am saved—saved from having to whine and complain when my laundry is high and my house a mess, saved from having to lose it when the school day doesn't go as planned. So I hope you will join me in seeking to see the everyday mom stuff as the work the Lord has given to you. It is likely that we will still be the only ones who do anything around here, but we can choose to do it all humbly and joyfully, because we love Christ more than

anything else in this world.

© 2011 Alexander Briel Perez. Image from BigStockPhoto.com.


Maximizing an Under-Utilized Area with Smart Organization:

Hallways

G etting off on the right foot starts the moment your

guests step into your home, but hallways tend to be forgotten areas in homes today. Yet they are a high-traffic part and one of the few spaces that everyone gets to see.

Even so, the potential of hallways is often overlooked and under-utilized. Take a long look at your hallways and see the possibilities that will open doors for unique organizing opportunities. Don’t let this space go to waste, and get creative with smart ideas for utilizing these forgotten spaces to organize and show off your family’s personality.

Doorways. Even small spaces, like

doorways and windows, can have big organizing potential. These eye-catching areas often have ledges or nooks perfect for storing and displaying.

Shelves. Add a small shelf above a doorway or window to organize and display a collection, books, CDs, and photos. These can be perfect for storing practical items—like notebooks, binders, and paperwork—that are infrequently used or needed. It keeps these necessary items organized and out of the way, but not completely out of reach. Try it in your office or workspace.

Message Board. Take advantage of a high-traffic hallway by moving the family calendar or message board out of the kitchen and into the hallway for all to see.

Whether it’s a large hallway or simply a nook, any space—big or small—can be used to store and organize. If your space is too small for functional furniture, like an armoire or cabinet, try these simple additions. Storage baskets or bins are perfect for smaller spaces and can


by Mrs. Lorrie Flem

complement your décor. For an elegant touch, add glass shelving to display collectibles or photographs. Mount hooks on the wall to hang items when not in use for a whimsical look and smart storage. Who says movies and music have to stay in the living room and books have to stay in a library or office? Whether you’re a movie buff or a bookworm, use your hallway space adjoining the respective rooms to show off your hobbies and store them at the same time. Get family trophies, certificates, medals, and degrees out of boxes and drawers and onto the

hallway wall. Show off your family’s accomplishments and free up storage space.

Take advantage of space under the stairs by building cubbyholes for storage of coats, shoes, and other off-season items. As high-traffic areas, entries and hallways are the perfect place to show off your family’s personality. Clear up the clutter in other rooms by utilizing these overlooked spaces for organization and storage.

“As high-traffic areas, entries and hallways are the perfect place to show

off your family’s personality.”

by Brianna van der Veen

I have a confession to make: I really, really like peanut butter. I love its nutty taste and

texture, its scrumptious smell and tummy-filling talent. It’s most delicious, of course, in peanut butter cookies—you know, the homemade type that include only the best quality peanut butter and secret ingredients like ground up, roasted peanuts, mmm. I made just such a batch of cookies last week. I enjoyed munching on one or two with

my morning cup of coffee. When I could, I snuck one for a midmorning snack. I had a couple after lunch with the kids, maybe another in the afternoon . . . and after dinner. As I indulged more and more in my favorite treat, I noticed a strange thing. I was indulging more and more in other things, too. No, not milk to wash it down. Less benign things like grumpy attitudes, careless words, lackluster housework, and self-centeredness. Those things didn’t taste so good, but with my cookies they increased more and more.

Why? Because peanut butter, while sticky in substance, is a fantastic lubricant for other, less pleasant sins to slide right down into my soul. It’s called rationalization. Peanut butter is sweet and filling. It’s healthy, chock full of protein. And one little cookie never did anyone wrong, particularly a nursing mama like me. You see? So innocent. So worth it. (In peanut butter’s defense, this is mostly true.) But for me, I must add it’s also such a mistake.

My indulgence feeds my flesh, which always results in greater desire for greater sin, and quenches the Spirit, which makes it ever harder to hear and heed God’s guiding direction throughout the day. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condemning my favorite cookies. I still consider them quite delicious. From now on, though, I think I’ll stick to enjoying them in a more self-controlled, God-honoring way. That way my sweet treat stops opening the door to fouler temptations. What about you? What’s your favorite indulgence, feel-good fixer, earthly stress reliever, or quick pick-me-up? Are you

feeling defeated by too many little battles lately? If so, put your peanut butter back on the shelf. Resist that one seemingly innocent little temptation, and you’ll find you stand much stronger against all the rest.

Eternal Encouragement Fall Issue Excerpt

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