eTeens lesson 1: Decision Making & Saying No

Secondary 39 April 2014

Learning outcomes

• Students understand that there are consequences in any decision they make regarding sexual intercourse.

• Students learn to make decisions that reduce the risk to their sexual health.

• Students will learn to negotiate and to respond to persuasion in an assertive way.

What are the consequences of sex for young persons?

Physical:

Emotional:

Social:

Ethical:

Sex and the consequences for young persons

Physical: STI, pregnancy

Emotional: Guilt, shame, fear (of pregnancy, STI, parents finding out), confusion.

Social: Break up of friendship, insecurity in relationships, uncomfortable and awkwardness with friend.

Ethical: Religious or moral dilemma

Decision-making: To have or not to have?•Know your reasons for saying Yes or No•Seek information from reliable sources•Be aware of the consequences of our

decisions/actions•Know your own boundaries and that there

could be situations where it is difficult to U-turn

To have or not to have?

Decision

Pluses Minuses How important?

How it affects people?

To have

Not to have

Communication styles

• Aggressive Behavior forces your own rights and beliefs onto someone else and makes them do what you want

• Passive Behavior sacrifices personal rights, beliefs and views, gives in to others’ demands

• Assertive Behavior strives for a win-win, non-confrontational ending without sacrificing personal rights and beliefs.

Which style is the best?

Ways of saying No

Ways of saying No

How to say it?

Changing the subject

• Weren’t you about to tell me about this exciting new movie you saw? • Let’s go have a drink at…

Just say No! (Direct Refusal)

• No, no, I really mean No! • No, I’m not going to do that • No, it’s against my principles

Give an excuse • I’m not ready now – maybe later • Maybe we can talk later • I’d like to talk to a friend

Ways of saying No

How to say it?

Reverse the pressure

• Let’s do ….. instead • How about we try ….. • What would make us both happy?

Avoid the situation/walk away

• I’m not feeling comfortable, so I’m leaving now • Let’s not go to your house now cos no one is at home • If you keep pressurizing me, I’m leaving

Using ‘I’ messages • I feel frustrated when…. • I feel unhappy when ….. • I feel …. when……. • I don’t like it when… • I would like it better if ……. • I would like you to ….. • I wish you would …….

Reasons to say No!

• Because I want to wait till I’m married.• Because I don’t want you to get pregnant.• Because I care about how my parents think about

this.• Because I care about you.• Because I want to enjoy our friendship without

sex distracting us.• Because I don’t want to live with regret and guilt.• Because I want to respect myself and you too.

Reasons to say No!

• Because there are so many things we can do to show that we care about one another.

• Because I don’t want to make the wrong choice.• Because I have the right to say No.• Because I must do what is right for me.

Lines for sex

• Come on, do I look dirty to you? Do I look like I have some infections?

• Hey, you are not a kid anymore?• We are more than friends, and I love you. I want

to show you my love?• Hey, we have been together for so long. It is

something that all couples do, we will do it as well.

• Everyone else is doing it. Don’t you love me?

Ways to say No

• Once is all it takes to get pregnant.• May be we are not ready for sex.• I really don’t want sex before marriage. If you

love me, you wouldn’t force me to do something I don’t want to.

• May be we can just hug.• I know that not everyone is having sex. For

example, I’m not.• I don’t feel good when pressured, so I’m leaving.• I trust me and me does not want to have sex.

Lets do these instead

• Teach each other a new hobby.• Share your dreams with each other.• Do homework together in the library.• Get to know each other’s friends.

Questions?