Karoline SteckleyInternational Communications

karoline@steckleykorenpr.commob. + 39 349 8666 667

Missing the Fertility train? Italian Lifestyle, social structure, economy and how the country that loves

kids is making it difficult to have them

(and impossible to talk about it)

Karoline Jeane SteckleyFreelance Consultant, International Communications

IVF Success Story, Can’t keep a secretTrieste, Italy

Shhhhhhhh!

Can’t stay long. Don’t mind me!

Just pretend I’m not here!

Don’t tell anyone you saw me here,

ok?!

Conflict of Interest

I declare I have no commercial or financial interests pertaining to the subject of this presentation or its content.

Oh please! Get to the Point!

COMPARING MY SITUATION IN ITALY WITH MY AMERICAN EXPERIENCE

Who are you to talk about the Italians?

Finish high school

Move out of parents’ home

Finish university and graduate school

Start working

Ready to begin thinking about kids

Ready to begin thinking about (maybe) buying a home

Work while studying

Start a stable job

Buy home

Finish high school

Finish university

Ready to begin thinking about kids

Move out of parents’ home

18

1919

27

25

25

40’s 50’s

30

26

35

3232

Obstacles along the way: lose job

Result: •Move back to parents’ house (temporarily)•Socially unacceptable situation•Humiliation. •Unhappy parents.

Solution: •Find another job or two.•Anything to get out of the house!

Never get a job / Work for too little money to be independentResult:•Understanding parents•Socially acceptable

Solution: •Keep looking•Stay at home longer

Expectations

• University degree is a priority• I will change jobs and sectors

many times in my life• There is never a perfect time

to have kids• I may never own my own

home and that is okay

• University degree important for some• I hope to work in the same company

until i retire• I must

1. Find a permanent job2. Buy an apartment3. Find a partner4. Have children

In that order

Stop stereotyping, Karoline

Pizza, an IVF story

True StoryDon’t get her started!!

So, Iwas out having pizza with some friends one night…

Are you gonna finish all that? aThis talk is making me HUNGRY!

…When i realized something peculiar The Suspense is killing me!

Five out of the eight women at the table Had gone through ivf

?

?

1%IUD

YES! Me too!

IVF IVF IVF IVF

IVF

Then i thought about the kids’ table

ME

Hmmm...the kids’table…

How does that shake up?

The kids’ table looked like this

Old-fashioned

JUST CHEESE

Adopted

IVF with egg donor

Old-fashioned

Old-fashioned

IVFIVF with egg donor

AND THEN I THOUGHT!

ME

These girls are going to kill

me!

I CAN TOTALLY TALK ABOUT THIS AT ESHRE!

I know about all of themThey do not all know that I know

They do not all know that anyone else knows Some of their mothers do not even knowSo at the table the subject never came up

But it was there…

ME

It’s complicated

Keeping these secrets in order is Exhausting!!

What if someone finds out?

IVF

IVF

IVF

IVF

IVF

I know that because the next day I received a very stern phone call:

ME

I must do something to protect this

secret!

She is going to tell somebody I just know it!

GUILT GUILTGUILT GUILTGUILT GUILT

GUILT

I FELT TERRIBLE FOR A WHILEThen I learned some lessons from the Pizza Table

• There are lots of us carrying around infertility baggage

•Infertility is often suffered in silence , isolation, and SHAME •Our situation, feelings, and treatment are taboo

There is huge potential for support if we can find a way to talk more openly

So I started talking about it with my friendsAnd I discovered some of the beliefs that fed our silence:

Why can’t we talk about this more openly?

I am a terrible person

GuiltPeople have lots of babies in ItalyIf you can’t get pregnant you probably don’t want it bad enough/ are thinking about it too much/work too much, etc. My sister/friend/sister-in-law went through it and she talked too much about it and always wanted to be the center of attention!Having fertility treatment means you fail as a personIf you wait too long to have babies you are selfishEven dumb people can have kids, why can’t I?

SOME INFO ABOUT THE WOMEN AT THE TABLEThey are pro-active.

They use the internet to get information.They still can’t believe that THEY had problems with infertility.

They know a lot about all aspects of treatment.They changed doctors and clinics many times.

Their partners’ attitudes condition their willingness (or not) to talk about their situation.

They confide in one person at a time.

They all vowed they would never do IVF...

And then changed their minds

IVF IVFIVF IVF

IVF

YES! Me too!

Sometimes it worked.Sometimes it didn’t.

For some people it didn’t work.And then it did.

JUST CHEESE

IVF with egg donor

IVFIVF with egg donor

CAN I TELL YOU A REALLY IMPORTANT SECRET?

PROMISE TO HELP ME

TELL EVERYONE?

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A FERTILITY TRAIN

WHY DON’T WE MISS THIS TRAIN INSTEAD?

SHAMETRAIN EMBARASSMENT WHAT WILL THEY SAY?

SADNESS & WAITING MY REPUTATION THAT MEAN VOICE IN OUR HEADS

Ciao!

LET’S TALK ABOUT IT OVER PIZZA THANK YOU!

Karoline SteckleyInternational Communications

karoline@steckleykorenpr.commob. + 39 349 8666 667