English: descriptive writing‘What am I?’ - descriptive writing based around an

animalSummer, Term 6, Week 1

This week… We are building up to writing detailed descriptions this week. The focus will be on animals as this is our topic for this term! Myself and Mrs F are hoping that you will write such vivid descriptions, at the end of the week we will be able to guess the animals you have been describing rather than you telling us what you’ve described!!

Descriptions are all about building a vivid image in the reader's mind! For example:

- The old man was bent into a capital C, his head leaning so far forward that his beard nearly touched his knobby knees.

- My dog's fur felt like silk against my skin and her black coloring shone, absorbing the sunlight and reflecting it back like a pure, dark mirror.

Description can also be found in songs too:

- "Cherry lips, crystal skies” / “screaming, crying, perfect storm” / “rose garden filled with thorns” all from Taylor

Swift’s Blank Space!

Things to think about this week:

Expanded noun phrases

Fronted adverbials

Specific adjectives i.e. NOT ‘BIG’, ‘SMALL’, QUICK’, ‘SLOW’, ‘NICE’, ‘GOOD’, ‘BAD’ - they’re all in word jail

Similes/ metaphors

Relative clauses (useful for adding in extra information to a sentence)

Your senses (see, smell, taste, touch, hear)

...you should be familiar with all these concepts as we’ve covered them repeatedly throughout the year and we’ve covered them more recently within our home learning. If you’re not sure, revisit previous english powerpoints to help you.

Monday - Activity 1 - LO: I can carefully select my word choices to have an impact on the reader Within descriptive writing, it is important that you word choices are carefully made. You want the reader to be able to vividly imagine what you are describing in their minds. This is why synonyms are important! Synonyms are alternative, usually more exciting, words for another word. They help to turn basic description into year 5 quality work!

Task: create a synonym word mat (see examples for ideas on how to present) for 5 of the following words - big, soft, small, scary, a colour of your choice, fast, strong, friendly

1 chilli 4 synonyms for each with 3 put in a sentence (a fronted adverbial must be used in at least 1 of your sentences)

2 chilli 6 synonyms with 4 put in a sentence (parenthesis or relative clause must be in at least 2 of your sentences)

3 chilli 8 synonyms with 5 put in a sentence (parenthesis or relative clause must be in at least 2 of your sentences)

A thesaurus, google or multiple brains will be useful for this activity!

Examples of synonym word mats:

Tuesday - Activity 2 - LO: I can write to describe and then revise.

Without overthinking it, write a paragraph of description for a hippogriff. It must be at least 6 sentences long (although make sure you write a line miss a line as we will be revising it). Think about it’s personality, behaviour, appearance, how it sounds etc.

Meet Buckbeak | Harry Potter and the Prisoner of the Azkaban - watch the clip to help you!

It has thick, pillow-like feathers.

His eyes are amber with big, black pupils that look

into your soul.

It is a proud beast who demands respect from

everyone.

Some ideas to help… you should organise yours into a paragraph :-)

Now, separate from your description, create a table of examples like the one below and fill it out (this will help you to get used to including a range of techniques in your writing):

Have a go at adding in these techniques to your initial description in a different coloured pen/pencil. Has it improved?

Simile/metaphor Saying some is like or is something else to compare it

Expanded noun phraseUsing two adjectives (separated by a comma) to describe the noun after them (a person, place or

thing)

Using your 5 senses (what could you see, taste - you’ll have to get creative with this one and think about what might be

in the air around this creature, smell, touch, hear)

Specific adjectivesDescribing words that relate specifically to that object (rather than big, small etc)

Fronted adverbialPhrases or words at the start of a sentence which are used to describe the action that follows i.e. describing the time (Late yesterday evening), frequency (twice a week), place (above the clouds) or

way (without sound or warning) the following sentence occurs

Personification Giving something human characteristics (this might be tricky when talking about a living creature to maybe think about the objects around the creature i.e. the ground shivered as the beast slowly

marched forward)

Wednesday - Activity 3 - LO: I can analyse and suggest improvements for a model description So far we’ve looked at the importance of having a wide range of vocabulary available to you during a description (synonyms) AND how to improve your own descriptions. Today, we’re going to look at analysing an already written description and how to improve it using the techniques we have looked at.

To do this, we must take a stroll with a mouse to the deep, dark woods….

Take a look at the next slide!

Here you can see how the initial basic description of the gruffalo has become a cohesive descriptive paragraph using the skills that you all have!

Task 1:1 chilli - create a key and find the skills listed below in the paragraph

2/3 chilli - create a key and find the skills listed below AND any others you come across (think about the skills we’ve looked at so far).

Expanded noun phrases

Similes

Using the senses

Specific adjectives

Task 2: how can we improve it?Some of the language in this description is very basic and not year 5 quality writing. Some of the adjectives are quite boring (large, long, orange etc), the similes aren't that strong or unique (as sharp as razors) and it hasn’t shown off any advanced literary techniques (relative clauses, parenthesis, fronted adverbials etc). It’s your job to change this!

We need to make the Gruffalo sound as scary as he actually is! Use the images to help you paint this picture of him as a terrifying beast rather than a children’s story book character…

1 chilli - highlight 3 areas (this could be specific words or sentences) of this description that you think need to be improved and revise them!

2 chilli - highlight 6 areas (this could be specific words or sentences) of this description that you think need to be improved and revise them!

3 chilli - rewrite the whole piece, editing and revising the language and imagery used. Make the gruffalo sound terrifying using your description!

Thursday - Activity 4 - LO: I can research an animal to enhance my description The time has arrived! It is time to choose an animal and research it until you become an expert that could talk at big conferences about it!

You now have a choice to make…

You can choose an animal that exists (1 chilli, this will probably be perfect for you as you can choose an animal you have met before so that you can draw on real life experience)

OR

You can create your own imaginary animal BUT IF YOU DO THIS you must sketch out a detailed illustration of your imaginary animal with labels describing what each part is like in detail (⅔ chilli, this would be a perfect challenge for you).

Which will you choose?

Thursday - Activity 4 - LO: I can research an animal to plan and enhance my description Task: You need to create a ‘fact file’/research about your chosen animal which focuses on its physical appearance rather than general facts (although it might be good to note a few of these anyway). How you present this fact file/research is up to you (a leaflet, poster, organised notes with subtitles, detailed top trump cards, an illustration with notes around the edge). We are doing this so that you have the information to be able to write a detailed description of your animal!

Your research/ appearance ‘fact file’ must include:

- What it sounds like - What it might feel like - what is its ‘skin’ is like? Fur? Scales? Something else?- What it smells like/what might the air around it taste like? - What does it look like? Size? Facial features? Anything that makes it stand out? Think about DETAILS- its feet,

eyes, teeth etc. - How does it behave? For example, the hippogriff was initially aggressive because it demanded respect but this

changed when you bowed to it (this is very brief and your notes will be much more detailed). - You might even want to create a table like we did on Tuesday to start planning out the figurative and descriptive

language you might use (1 chilli children, we definitely recommend you doing this)

DETAILS, DETAILS, DETAILS!

Friday - Activity 5 - LO: I can write a high quality description using a range of figurative language techniques

We now need to turn this research into a description. In a description, you are using figurative language (similes, metaphors, alliteration, personification etc) as well as other literary techniques (relative clauses, expanded noun phrases, specific adjectives etc) to paint a picture in your readers head. IT SHOULD NOT BE REGURGITATION OF YESTERDAY'S RESEARCH!

It needs to be logically ordered into clear paragraphs. because it is a description, we will not use subheadings but we will be using BLAH to show add cohesion (a flow) to our writing that helps link it together but move the reader on.. The following structure is a suggested one (3 chilli children, if you want to alter this slightly, please do so but carefully).

You are adding in enough detail and description that myself and Mrs F should be able to guess your creature or (if it is made up) then visualise it clearly in our heads!

Paragraph one - initial physical appearance (what does the creature look like).

You should focus on all aspects of your creature here and work through them like a funnel - you start off describing generally and then work down into the details. This should be a fairly chunky paragraph (a minimum of 5 sentences). Think carefully about the details myself and Mrs F will need to work out what your animal is!! Without this detail, we don’t stand a chance (just like a reader of Harry Potter wouldn’t have been able to visualise the hippogriff or the film crew create it if there hadn’t been a good amount of detail for it)!

Paragraph two - your other senses (what does the creature feel, hear, taste and smell like).

You need to be careful this doesn’t become like a list. Use figurative language (the techniques we looked at on Tuesday) to help bring your writing to life. Rather than josh saying “It smells bad” you could say “The creature fills the air with the stench of hot, sun-rotted meat. The smell shrouds everything around it for miles!” - see the difference? Here you would use cohesive devices to move between senses too ie. additionally, as well as this, furthermore etc.

Paragraph three - behaviour (what is it’s personality like and how does it behave normally/when threatened/around humans etc).

This is a really good opportunity to use personification for the objects around hour creature. For example, “the grass dances under the creatures soft, feather covered feet as it elegantly prances through the meadow”. You’ve made the grass sound human by saying it dances whilst still telling the reader your creature is very elegant and gentle by nature.

Paragraph four - optional - anything additional you feel that you want to add that doesn’t fit into the above categories based on senses and behaviour. You just be careful this doesn’t turn into a jumbled mess!

Over to you...Make sure you look back through all the work you have done this week. Everything we have done has been building up to you writing this description of your animal as best you can!

Myself and Mrs F look forward to trying to guess what you’ve described (make sure you tell us whether it’s a real animal or a made up one in the comments when you upload it onto seesaw)!

Write the LO and then your description underneath- don’t write your chosen animal if you want us to guess what it is!

Happy writing year 5!