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SELF BULLYING ( T M )

IS BEING MEAN TO YOURSELFWE CALL IT

DO YOU NEGATIVELY JUDGE YOURSELF?

 

YOUR THOUGHTS ARE POWERFUL

Ever stand in front of a mirror and call yourself stupid or ugly?

Ever compare yourself to others? 

This is Self Bullying. YOU KNOW HOW BAD IT FEELS WHEN

ANOTHER PERSON NEGATIVELY JUDGES YOU. It's awful. Right?

How does your negative self-judgment make you feel?  Each time you call yourself stupid, ugly, not good enough, etc., you are taking positive energy away from yourself. 

Check out this video clip from the movie, WHAT THE BLEEP. It shows how powerful our thoughts are. They taped words to bottled water then froze the water and looked at the crystals. The crystals that came from bottles with positive words were beautiful. The crystals from bottles with mean words were awful looking. (see picture to the right) After you view the video, send an email to PreventBullyingNow @heyugly.org  telling us why you think it's important that teens around the world see this video clip.

OBSERVE YOUR FEELINGS

Make a list of all the people who have negatively judged you. What negative thing did they call you? Quite often the negative messages we give ourselves are not our own. Most of the negative judgments we have about ourselves come from somebody else ... a friend, family member, etc. It is human nature to actually believe the judgments of others and take them on as our own. It is YOUR JOB TO RECOGNIZE that someone else's negative judgment of you is NOT WHO YOU ARE. Has anyone ever called you a name and then you start calling yourself that name over and over and over in your head?

YOUR BODY HAS FEELINGS TOO

Lots of time we treat our friends better than we treat ourselves. THAT'S SO WRONG!  Our bodies help us all of the time. It is constantly there for us and we sometimes treat it worse than we would treat a stranger on the street. How many times have you told your body that you hated it?

I HATE MY HAIR!

I HATE MY NOSE!

I HATE MY BUTT!

I HATE MY THIGHS 

Award winning recording artist, PINK, was obsessing about her thighs until the day she visited children in a hospital and saw kids with no legs.

DEFEND YOURSELF!!!If a person called one of your friends "ugly" or "stupid" you would defend them, right? That's what you should do for yourself whenever you have a negative self-judgment.

TWO ASSIGNMENTS FOR YOU:1.  Make a list of 10 things people say against their bodies.

2.  Make a list of 20 wonderful things your body does for you.

Email your lists to:  PreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org  with "Self Bullying" in the subject line. We'll post the most representative

lists on our I AM ENOUGH web page.

HOW TO CANCEL OUT THE VOICE

 THAT SAYS YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH

According to Hey U.G.L.Y.'s Assembly Presenter, American Idol Contestant and singer/songwriter Devyn Rush, "After all, no one is a perfect person, and no one really has a perfect life. It is important that we not compare ourselves with others because there will always be someone we'll consider more attractive, smarter, more talented, or who has a cuter boyfriend/girlfriend, or more money, etc. The next time that voice in your head tells you that you are not good enough, just picture a face with that voice. Picture a scared child. Now imagine that scared child is you when you were young. Hold that child and tell him/her that he/she IS ENOUGH. Think about all of the things that you do well and compliment that little child on each one. Maybe you're good at singing, dancing, biking, running, drawing, etc. Maybe you are a great friend, good at math, writing, etc. When we take good care of ourselves, and surround ourselves with friends and family who love us that just has to be good enough!

      

If we focus our energies on what we do have, and make the most of it--instead of obsessing about what we don't have--it can help us feel like we really ARE enough."

HOW TO CANCEL OUTALL THE NEGATIVE JUDGMENTS

Take your index finger and press it to your thumb like you were squishing a piece of dirt between those fingers. Now, each time you make a negative judgment about others or yourself, press those fingers together and squish out that negativity. Immediately replace the negative judgment with a positive statement. The more you do this the easier it will be to not make negative judgments at all. It's kinda like exercising or learning a musical instrument. The more your practice the easier it gets. So practice, practice, practice. 

RECALL A NEGATIVE JUDGMENT YOU HAD ABOUT YOURSELF and squish that negative thought between your fingers. Close your eyes and picture your inner-self. Make a sincere apology to yourself then give your inner-self a compliment. How did you feel giving yourself a compliment? On a piece of paper make a list of the things you like about yourself and read it every night before you go to bed. 

GRATITUDE - Make a list of five things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. It can be as simple as having fingers that allow you to use a spoon to help you eat your cereal to has major as having legs that help you walk. Just make sure you list at least five things.

The next time you have a negative judgment about yourself or someone else just STOP. Don t negatively judge yourself for having a negative judgment, just recognize it, squish it out and replace it with something positive. 

To help keep other peoples' negative judgments and thoughts from affecting you, pretend you have a zipper on your body (like a zipper on a Hoodie). Now ZIP YOURSELF UP all the way to your mouth. Imagine you now have a protective shield around you that will not allow anyone's negative thoughts and judgments to penetrate. Pretend there is a lock at the top of the zipper. Give it a quick turn to lock in your protection. You may want to do this before you go into the mall. 

QUESTION: Where are some other places where zipping up your shield would be a good idea? Email your answers to us with "Zip it up" in the subject line.

                                  OUR BIGGEST FEAR!   "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Nelson Mandella

"My recent photo project is emphasizing how words hurt people! 

So much bullying and harrassing going on not just our school but

nationwide.

Your negative words turn into how people describe themselves.

Look in the mirror, nobody is perfect! Life is so damn beautiful and we

should all be buidling each other up rather than tearing each other down!

Be the one who creates a new era of happiness.

 Be the one who changes a negative

thought someone thinks about themselves." 

Photo and Quote by Marcelleloveeee

Hey U.G.L.Y. wants to know if it could be that you think people are

negatively judging you because YOU are negatively judging others. Ever look at somebody's hair or body and make a negative judgement about it? Could it be that you are negatively judging them hair because you are

always negative judging your hair or body and thinking it's not good

enough? So ... if we start changing the way we look at ourselves, if we start

liking and loving ourselves, maybe we will start drawing to us people who

also like themselves instead of drawing people who negatively judge us and find fault with us because they find fault with themselves. What do

you think? We love to know. Send us an email or text on our facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/HeyUGL

YINChttps://www.facebook.com/HeyUGLY

INC.YOU CAN NOT GIVE  

WHAT YOU  DON'T HAVE

How can you trust others if you can't trust yourself? How can you love somebody if you have not learned to love yourself? How can you forgive someone you love if you have not yet forgiven yourself? The reason it's challenging to give those things to others is because YOU CAN NOT GIVE WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE. How can you respond with compassion if you are not compassionate to yourself? How can you give someone five dollars if you don't already have five dollars? You can't. 

Best selling author, Dr. Wayne Dyer, uses the orange as a metaphor. He says: "When you squeeze an orange juice comes out - because that's what's inside. When you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside." So, if someone says or does something you don't like or behaves towards you in a way you find offensive, or does something you feel hurt by does hurt, shame, anger, anxiety or stress come out? Do you say 'the reason that comes out of me is because how he/she said it or the way he/she did that? The truth is what comes out is what's inside. So, if you don't like what's inside of you ask yourself what caused the anger, shame, etc. Was it something that happened to you when you were young that you are carrying around with you? If so, then feel it. Go back to the first time you felt that way, feel it then let it go. Picture it leaving your

     

     

body and flying far away. Then heal yourself. Repeat over and over that you no longer need to be angry, bitter, or whatever it is that is coming up. The more your remind yourself of this the easier it will get. Just like exercising gets easier on your body the more you do it, being mindful of your the emotions you want to release and then letting them go helps you to change. The next time something negative comes out of you do what one of our great teachers and best-selling authors, Gary Zukav, said to do on an Oprah Show. "First: Stop. Second:recognize that you are in fear. Third: Ask yourself if you want to react in fear. Fourth:Ask yourself how a kind and loving person would react. Fifth: Proceed in a kind and loving way."  If you practice this five step process it will get easier and easier to 

So, is the reason we react angrily to others because we react angrily toward ourselves? Think about that and email your suggestions on how we can change that toPreventBullyingNow@heyugly.org

                             ACCEPTING YOURSELF by Madisyn Taylor 

To label yourself good or bad is to think too small.

There is no such thing as a good person or a bad person. There are choices and actions that lead us in different directions, and it is through those choices and actions that we create our realities. Sometimes we choose or do something that takes us in the opposite direction of the reality we want to create for ourselves. When we do this, we feel baduneasy, unhappy, unsure. We might go so far as to label ourselves bad when a situation like this arises.

Instead of labeling ourselves, though, we could simply acknowledge that we made a choice that lead us down a particular path, and then let it go, forgiving ourselves and preparing for our next opportunity to choose, and act, in ways that support our best intentions. 

Many of us experienced childhoods in which the words good and bad were used as weapons to control usyou were good if you did what you were told and bad if you didnt. This kind of discipline undermines a persons ability to find their own moral center and to trust and be guided by their own inner self. If you were raised this way, you may find yourself feeling shockwaves of badness when you do something you were taught was wrong, even if now you dont agree that its bad. Conversely, you may feel good when you do what you learned was right. Notice how this puts you in something of a straitjacket. An important part of our spiritual unfolding requires that we grow beyond what we learned and take responsibility for our own liberation in our own terms. 

You are a human being with every right to be here, learning and exploring. To label yourself good or bad is to think too small. What you are is a decision-maker and every moment provides you the opportunity to move in the direction of your higher self or in the direction of stagnation or degradation. In the end, only you know the difference. If you find yourself going into self-judgment, try to stop yourself as soon as you can and come back to center. Know that you are not good or bad, you are simply you.Become a part of Hey U G L Y's Stop Bullying Task Force by completing our Stop Bullying Handbook. Click on the book to go to our products page. This book is designed just for you and your friends.

Read all about how we took on bullying in this

 front page story in NWI Catholic Newspaper.