Engaging Your Full Potential - wabankers.com

BankersAssns EYFPworkbook2020Engaging Your Full Potential
Henley Leadership Group 17837 First Avenue South, PMB 302 Seattle, Washington 98148
(206) 686-4400 www.henleyleadership.com [email protected]
(c) 2019 Henley Leadership Group, L.L.C., All Rights Reserved. www.henleyleadership.com
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“’Know thyself,’ was the inscription over the Oracle at Delphi. And it is still the most difficult task any of us faces. But until you truly know yourself, strengths and weaknesses, know what you want to do and why you want to do it, you cannot succeed in any but the most superficial sense of the word. The leader never lies to him or herself, knows his or her flaws as well as assets, and deals with them directly. When you know what you consist of and what you want to make of it, then you can invent yourself.”
- Warren Bennis
AGENDA • Welcome
• What derails leaders
• Sharing of pre-work
• Share scores and interpretation
• Five Other Lives
• Next steps and close
Le ad
ing OTHERS
Le ad
in g
SE LF
Conscious Leader
In te
ra ct
an
en er
gy fo
Deciding and acting through new and
emerging information
Barrier: Relying on extensive data and facts for decision making
and action
Barrier: Being
The Way You Work With Others Productive Engagement
How You Gather Information Intellectual Agility
Your Relationship to Organizational Health Vital Fulfillment
How You Decide and Take Action Innovative Action
1
2
3
4
5
Johari Window and Personnel Relations
The Johari Window is a technique created by Joseph Luft and Harrington
Ingham in 1955, used to help people better understand their relationship with
self and others.
Kn ow
n to
O th
er s
U nk
no w
n to
O th
er sSH
A R
IN G
1.41
What are the implications for your leadership?
What can you do, or where do you need to stretch, in the areas of exposure and feedback?
Ellen Langer, author of Mindfulness, suggests that leaders are being “thrown” more and more frequently today than at
any other time in history. Consider the speed with which the world is now operating. Being thrown or getting
hooked means that something unexpected comes at you, you didn’t
plan for it, and it seems to hit you and knock you over.
Langer, Ellen J. Mindfulness. Reading, Mass: Addison-Wesley, 1993.
Being Thrown List five incidents where you were caught off-guard and reacted to a
situation, person or event:
Self-Protective Strategies Developed by Henley Leadership Group
Self-Protective Strategies (SPS) involve ways of dealing with upsetting, surprising, or unexpected events in life. We learned these strategies from the significant people in our young lives- parents, siblings, influential friends and family. These strategies are our ways of surviving challenges.
Self-Protective Strategies
Self-righteousness / making others wrong
Cynicism
Intimidation / domination
Identifying the Cost of My Self-Protective Strategies
Incident Self-Protective Strategy Used
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1.41
Notes Homework: Share your SPS with a significant relationship (partner, co- worker, family member, friend). Be mindful of using first person sharing. For example, “I am now aware I use sarcasm to…”
My preferred Self-Protective Strategy is:
I will share my Self-Protective Strategy with the following people: 1. 2. 3.
1. Where are you putting your focus? • Are you focusing on problems or on outcomes?
2. How are you relating? • How are you relating to others, your experience and
yourself? • Are you producing or perpetuating drama, or
empowering others and yourself?
3. What actions are you taking? • Are you merely reacting to the problems of the moment,
or taking creative action in service to outcomes?
3 Vital Questions
1. Mental Models = Mindsets = Orientations 2. Default: What we naturally/habitually do 3. The FISBE Mental Model:
FISBE
Focus
Page 13
The Dreaded Drama Triangle
When we are upset, we take our position on The Triangle.
Persecutor Thinks they must win at any cost. Controls others through blame, criticism, and oppression.
• “The Problem” • Dominates the Victim,
Blames, “Tears Down”
• “You Poor —-“
Victim Thinks they are powerless and at the mercy of life’s circumstances. Is unwilling to take responsibility for what happens in their life.
• Powerless • Dream Denied/Thwarted • Fears not getting what they want • “Poor Me”
Rescuer Intervenes on behalf of the Victim to save them from perceived harm. Fosters dependency by relieving the Victim from taking responsibility.
• “Pain Reliever” • Keeps Victim Down • Fears Not Being Needed/
Loss of Purpose • “Poor You”
The Dreaded Drama Triangle
Challenger Sparks learning by challenging assumptions and the status quo. Focuses on improvement and development by holding people accountable for taking action.
• Calls Forth Learning & Growth • Provokes/Evokes Action • Conscious/Constructive • Unconscious/Deconstructive • “You Can Do It!”
Creator Focuses on vision and desired outcomes. Takes full responsibility for initiating action to achieve their desired outcome.
• Claims Power to Choose and Respond
• Focuses on Outcomes • “I Can Do It”
Coach Empowers people through inquiry to help them gain clarity.
• Supports and Assists Creating Outcomes
• Facilitates Clarity of Vision/ Actions by Asking Questions
• “How Will You Do It?”
Making Shifts Happen: The Empowerment Dynamic
TED* The Empowerment Dynamic™, by David Emerald
TED* The Empowerment
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At the heart of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic™) is learning to shift from reacting to choosing our response to life events. The Empowerment Dynamic is the antidote to the Drama Triangle, first described by Stephen Karpman, MD, and its three toxic roles of Victim (the primary role), the Persecutor (who the Victim blames for their suffering) and the Rescuer (who steps in to relieve the Victim’s suffering). TED* represents a shift from the Drama Triangle to empowering relationships through its more resourceful roles of Creator, Challenger and Coach. People who live and work from the TED* framework, learn to choose their response to life, irrespective of circumstances.
Making the Shift from Drama to Empowerment Making the Shift
from drama to empowerment V ic tim
Pe rs e c u to r
R e sc u e r
C re a to r
C h a lle n g e r
C o a c h
Reacting to Choosing
Telling to Asking
Putting Down to Building Up
Thoughts: Life happens to me - it’s not my fault. I am powerless My dream isn’t possible “Poor me”
Feelings: Helpless & hopeless s Discounted
Behaviors: Reacts to problems and drama May distance themselves Gives up >
Thoughts: I have a choice despite my circumstances / I am focused on what I want to create
Feelings: Hopeful Inspired Resilient
Behaviors: Takes responsibility to make choices h^
Thoughts: W /
Feelings: Θ &Θ ^Θ
Behaviors: Uses inquiry to help others & self to develop their own clarity & vision Empowers & develops Θ
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sWsZ
s dd
W d

Ξ dWdd
Thoughts: I must win I know best
Feelings: Discounted so must lash out ^
Behaviors: Dominates and controls
Thoughts: I must save others from harm /// /s
Feelings: & Feels persecuted s accept their help &s
Behaviors: Jumps in to save the day Fosters dependency & indispensability D Shield others from consequences of their
Thoughts: d “You” can do it Trust the process
Feelings: Self awareness their values Θ
Behaviors: Provokes or evokes themselves and others &Θ Holds self & others accountable
Taking Action: From Drama to Empowerment
Moving from problem to outcome orientation: What is the outcome you
are wanting to create?
Identify which of the previous possible next steps seem to have the highest
potential to contribute to forward progress and that you can act on.
List 1-3 next steps that are actionable, 100% yours to do, and that you can get
started on in the next 30 days.
What is currently going on that supports this outcome? What is going
on that inhibits this outcome?
Consider what you could be doing in this situation. What could I stop
doing? What could I keep doing? What could I change or do
differently? What could I start doing?
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The Core Strengths revealed during the training today were:
How can you begin to bring more of your Core Strengths
to your leadership style?
What impact could this have on the results you produce?
Magical Free Faithful Purposeful Strong Spontaneous Enthusiastic Adventurous Simple Flexible Inclusive Compassionate
Grateful Harmonious Powerful Truthful Tender Wise Graceful Loyal Delightful Inspiring Curious Joyful
Clear Brilliant Open Outrageous Loyal Loving Ingenious Inquisitive Trusting Visionary Beautiful Willing
Passionate Generous Patient Courageous Fun Humorous Playful Creative Peaceful Musical Intuitive Optimistic
My Core Strengths
Until One is Committed
Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.
I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:
“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”
- The Scottish Himalayan Expedition, W. H. Murray
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Notes

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