Engagement

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Su1YLAjty-U

WILL YOU PREPARE MORE FOR THE WEDDING DAY OR FOR THE MARRIED LIFE

TOGETHER?

Engagement

Formula for Marital Success (prepare)

You have dated for 4 seasons and continue to date each other

You care about one another. Both are responsible, mature,

and independent You respect each other – not

everyone is perfect You can assertively

communicate your feelings and needs

You love yourself as well as each other

You have a balanced individual and joint leisure time

Both are established in a job or career

Both know and accept yourselves

You satisfy each other’s needs and are not selfish

You have realistic expectations about the challenges of marriage

You can resolve conflicts well together

You feel good about the personality of your partner

You agree on religious and ethical values

There is an equal role relationship

You know that love is NOT enough

You are committed to the marriage and to your partner.

If you can do these things well before marriage, studies of happy couples have shown the likelihood of your doing them well after marriage is high.

So now you…..

GET ENGAGED!What Makes the Engagement Official?...

Announcement to the FamilyThe Engagement Ring

Which is easier to get a drivers license or a marriage license?

Your wedding custom and traditions attached to rings

All too often: Couples spend more time preparing for the wedding which lasts for a day than for the married life, which is intended to last a

lifetime. Getting married and staying married are 2

different things. More focus is placed on the getting than on the staying

which is why the divorce rate is so high. Many believe that LOVE will lead the way or

that LOVE will get us through. Almost everyone that gets married is “in love”, but half

of these lovebirds get a divorce. Love is NOT enough.

Purposes of Engagement…

1. Show your commitment to each other.

2. To plan a wedding.3. Decide if it is really what you

want to do by testing and evaluating the relationship.

4. Make sure that you really do know each other.

5. To discuss and come to an agreement on important topics.

Engagement Scenario:What would happen now?

Becky and Joe had been dating for 4 1/2 years. They were both in their senior year of college when they got married. Everyone thought they were the perfect couple. He was a big football star, but had suffered enough injuries that he knew he wanted another career. She had been a cheerleader all through high school. They had both been obsessed with taking care of their bodies. Perhaps that is what brought them together; they both spent so much time in the gym. Their marriage had been relatively trouble free for three years and everyone marveled at how well they had taken care of themselves. They both looked as good, if not better, than in their college days. However, one problem had surfaced. Joe wanted children. They both had stable jobs and he was ready to start a family. Becky had been putting off having a baby for over a year now and Joe could not understand why. One night they got into a heated discussion about having children. Becky expressed her feelings. She told Joe that she really did not want to bear a child. She felt adoption was a more reasonable way of getting a child. Her rationale was that they both had spent many years refining their bodies. Why should she be expected to suddenly give up her body to have a baby? She had seen birth films when she was in college and she did not want to go through that process. Joe was devastated.

Engagement Clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FwjOoEGmp4

Important Topics to Discuss During Engagement…

1. Role responsibilities and expectations (money, etc…)2. Relationship with family members and friends3. Communication and Conflict Management methods4. Relationship expectations: Love, commitment, and the Sexual

relationship5. Feelings about parenting and Children: how many, how to

discipline6. Recreation activities7. Jobs and careers8. Religion

How much did that wedding cost?

Bridesmaid dresses (4) $800 Cake $1200

Mother’s Dresses (2) $400 Invitations (500) $300

Flower girl dresses (2) $200 Bride Dress $1200

Tuxes (8) $800 Reception flower $700

Plane tickets for relatives $1500 x 9 = $13,500

Food ($250 head) $125,000

Rings $3000 Band $500

Wedding Coordinator $3000 Decoration and remodel $50,000

Swans $150 Valet Parking $600

Church $200 Limo $500

Pictures $2000 Honeymoon $5,000

TOTAL= $209,050

How much will that ring cost

if bought on credit?

Spending next 2 days in computer lab planning a wedding

Wedding Customs and Traditions

What is your dream engagement? Tell me.

Pull out a piece of paperDescribe for me your perfect engagement

storyYou will hand it inI will read them and pick the top 3 of the

classI will read them for the class and they will

pick their favorite. The winner will receive a prize!

Plan a Dream Honeymoon

1. False – A honeymoon is NOT necessary for a happy marriage.

2. A nationwide survey showed that 50% of couples interviewed reported that their honeymoon was not happy at all!!!

3. The purpose of a honeymoon is to get to know one another better

How did you do?

4. The Honeymoon Should Provide…

Rest and relaxation from the weddingTime to be alone togetherRecreation and funAdjustment to marriage

Honeymoon Planning Guidelines

5. Make it within a budget Resist the temptation to spend more than you can afford.

Don’t begin your marriage in debt. Average time = 8 days and Average cost = $3,000

6. Have realistic expectationsHoneymoons have become overglamorized and end up being

a big disappointment.This is also a time for disillusioning. The couple begins to see

each other as real people with real faults.

7. Have a sense of humor and create fun memories