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Rahel Hartman

Cosmin Ritivoiu

English 2

11 February 2015

Courtship and Stealing

People often have possessions that they deem to be valuable and important, but many

times they think they need more than they already own. Acquiring more and more things

becomes a priority, and if what they want belongs to other people, they may consider taking it.

But this was not God's plan, He said in the Bible, "You shall not steal" (Exodus 20:15). He did

not want gaining objects and possessions to be the goal of human life. God has higher aspirations

for His people. He wants them to honor others' possessions and to understand that the amount of

things an individual owns is not what gives them their value. "It is crucial to remember, that in

Gods kingdom a persons identity and value are bound up in their relationship to the Creator

God, our heavenly Father" (Ebens 20). Value is not found in one's belongings, but in being a

child of God. Understanding that value is found in God and not in possessions is especially

important when considering courting.

The eighth commandment is an important element in human relationships. When

obtaining wealth becomes the main focus of human existence people cannot truly love and care

for each other. They cannot trust that others will respect their possessions because they do not

respect other's belongings themselves. In Matthew it says: "Do not lay up for yourselves

treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal" (Matthew

6:19). God wishes people to understand that this earth is not a safe place to store their treasures.

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The chapter continues: "but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor

rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your

heart will be also" (Matthew 6:20,21). Instead of gaining wealth here on the earth, people should

focus on heaven. When people realize that the purpose of life is not to attain riches during this

life they will be more readily inclined to obey God's Word when it says not to steal.

In courting this is equally important, couples should put their focus on heavenly things

rather than on this world and earthly pleasures. They should be focused on encouraging and

helping each other, instead of gaining what they want from a relationship. It is important that the

purpose of courting is to glorify God. There are many times in worldly relationships when

humans are tempted to strive for their own desires. Instead of trying to benefit one another, it is

easy to try to gain personal benefit from the relationship. In this way, people are sometimes

tempted to break the eighth commandment when courting.

Generally, stealing is thought of in the context of material items, but there are other

things that people are tempted to steal. Especially in regards to courting, time is often stolen from

one another. When courting, it is not wise for a couple to spend so much time together that they

steal each others' time that should be spent with God. Ellen White writes about this in her book

titled Adventist Home:

If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate

marriage, they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated. Marriage is

something that will influence and affect your life, both in this world and in the world to

come. (White 71)

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Considering marriage is an important step in life, therefore, much time should be spent in prayer

when this decision is being contemplated. When too much time is spent in useless conversation,

those courting cannot spend the necessary time with the Lord to understand His will more fully.

Nevertheless, time is not the only thing that can be unrightfully taken in relationships.

Many times hearts are unrightfully won and one's affections are stolen. White explains how this

often takes place without people even thinking it is wrong. She says: "Thou shalt not steal, was

written by the finger of God upon the tables of stone; yet how much underhand stealing of

affections is practiced and excused" (White 446). Young people often begin secretive

relationships resulting in stolen affections and hurt feelings. The author continues:

A deceptive courtship is maintained, private communications are kept up, until the

affections of one who is inexperienced, and knows not whereunto these things may grow,

are in a measure withdrawn from her parents and placed upon him who shows by the very

course he pursues that he is unworthy of her love. The Bible condemns every species of

dishonesty, and demands right-doing under all circumstances. (White 446)

This practice is not in agreement with God's law and His desires. He wants even courtship to be

an honest and honorable practice.

Following God's laws in all aspects of life is essential for Christians. This is also true in

the area of courtship. God calls Christians to respect not only others belongings, but their time,

affections, and love too. It is important to realize that the purpose of life is not to gain wealth and

pleasures in this world, but purpose is found in a relationship with God. Nothing should separate

from this relationship not even a potential spouse. When this concept is fully grasped couples can

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then implement God's purpose as stated in the eighth commandment--"You shall not

steal" (Exodus 20:15).

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Works Cited

Ebens, Adrian. Identity Wars: The Road to Freedom. Penrith: Maranatha Media, 2005. Print

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (ESV), Containing the Old and New Testaments.

Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2011. Print.

White, Ellen Gould Harmon. The Adventist Home. Seoul, Korea: Korean House, 1981. Print.

---. Messages to Young People. Nashville, TN: Southern Pub. Association, 1930. Print.