Enchansing interpersonal skills to handle conflict management
Transcript of Enchansing interpersonal skills to handle conflict management
Enhancing Interpersonal Skills to handle Conflict Management
What we want from life Some Observations
bull Pleasure of livingbull Pleasure to serve the societybull Successbull Happinessbull Sense of uniquenessbull Inner satisfactionbull Desire to contributebull Recognitionbull Sense of togethernessbull Sense of dignity
Interpersonal Relations
bull Interpersonal relations is the key which
unlocks many business problems
bull Interpersonal relations is satisfying
group efforts
bull It is a discipline in itself
bull The beginning of lsquoeverythingrsquo happening in business and core of all actions is human activity
bull Nothing of any consequence happens unti l human beings want to act
bull Individuals are hiredselected based on their technical skil ls but their success on the job is based on Human Relation Skil ls
bull People need people Human experience involves interaction or relationship with other people
Interpersonal relationships are social associations connections or affiliations between two or more people
They vary in differing levels of intimacy and sharing or establishment of common ground
The study of relationships is of concern to sociology psychology and anthropology
bull It explains why one man works harder than
the other
bull Why one employee quits his job much
sooner than the other
bull Why one group of employee restricts their
output and and another works energetically
bull Interpersonal Relations stand for the
development of an effective organization
bull It is more than winning friends and
influencing people
bull It is based on the recognition of human
feelings and aspirations in the
organizations
The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes
from understanding othersrsquo feelings and
attitude thereby developing more respect for
people and accepting them as individuals
Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills
Relationship Management Skills Behavioral
Skills are just different names for an ability to
deal with people in a warm positive and result
oriented manner
Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient
bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity
bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship
The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and
its expression
The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence
Aristotle
Interpersonal Relations are the integration
of people into work situations that motivate
them to work together
Interpersonal relations deals with
bull Human emotions
bull Impulses and
bull Deep feelings
These arise out of one`s needs
and drives such as
bull The instinct of security and possession
bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc
Psychology of Interpersonal Relations
Why do people
OPEN AREA
HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY
BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF
UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT
KNOWN TO ANYONE
Self
Known Unknown
Known
Unknown
It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)
JOHARI WINDOW
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
What we want from life Some Observations
bull Pleasure of livingbull Pleasure to serve the societybull Successbull Happinessbull Sense of uniquenessbull Inner satisfactionbull Desire to contributebull Recognitionbull Sense of togethernessbull Sense of dignity
Interpersonal Relations
bull Interpersonal relations is the key which
unlocks many business problems
bull Interpersonal relations is satisfying
group efforts
bull It is a discipline in itself
bull The beginning of lsquoeverythingrsquo happening in business and core of all actions is human activity
bull Nothing of any consequence happens unti l human beings want to act
bull Individuals are hiredselected based on their technical skil ls but their success on the job is based on Human Relation Skil ls
bull People need people Human experience involves interaction or relationship with other people
Interpersonal relationships are social associations connections or affiliations between two or more people
They vary in differing levels of intimacy and sharing or establishment of common ground
The study of relationships is of concern to sociology psychology and anthropology
bull It explains why one man works harder than
the other
bull Why one employee quits his job much
sooner than the other
bull Why one group of employee restricts their
output and and another works energetically
bull Interpersonal Relations stand for the
development of an effective organization
bull It is more than winning friends and
influencing people
bull It is based on the recognition of human
feelings and aspirations in the
organizations
The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes
from understanding othersrsquo feelings and
attitude thereby developing more respect for
people and accepting them as individuals
Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills
Relationship Management Skills Behavioral
Skills are just different names for an ability to
deal with people in a warm positive and result
oriented manner
Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient
bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity
bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship
The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and
its expression
The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence
Aristotle
Interpersonal Relations are the integration
of people into work situations that motivate
them to work together
Interpersonal relations deals with
bull Human emotions
bull Impulses and
bull Deep feelings
These arise out of one`s needs
and drives such as
bull The instinct of security and possession
bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc
Psychology of Interpersonal Relations
Why do people
OPEN AREA
HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY
BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF
UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT
KNOWN TO ANYONE
Self
Known Unknown
Known
Unknown
It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)
JOHARI WINDOW
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Interpersonal Relations
bull Interpersonal relations is the key which
unlocks many business problems
bull Interpersonal relations is satisfying
group efforts
bull It is a discipline in itself
bull The beginning of lsquoeverythingrsquo happening in business and core of all actions is human activity
bull Nothing of any consequence happens unti l human beings want to act
bull Individuals are hiredselected based on their technical skil ls but their success on the job is based on Human Relation Skil ls
bull People need people Human experience involves interaction or relationship with other people
Interpersonal relationships are social associations connections or affiliations between two or more people
They vary in differing levels of intimacy and sharing or establishment of common ground
The study of relationships is of concern to sociology psychology and anthropology
bull It explains why one man works harder than
the other
bull Why one employee quits his job much
sooner than the other
bull Why one group of employee restricts their
output and and another works energetically
bull Interpersonal Relations stand for the
development of an effective organization
bull It is more than winning friends and
influencing people
bull It is based on the recognition of human
feelings and aspirations in the
organizations
The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes
from understanding othersrsquo feelings and
attitude thereby developing more respect for
people and accepting them as individuals
Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills
Relationship Management Skills Behavioral
Skills are just different names for an ability to
deal with people in a warm positive and result
oriented manner
Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient
bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity
bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship
The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and
its expression
The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence
Aristotle
Interpersonal Relations are the integration
of people into work situations that motivate
them to work together
Interpersonal relations deals with
bull Human emotions
bull Impulses and
bull Deep feelings
These arise out of one`s needs
and drives such as
bull The instinct of security and possession
bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc
Psychology of Interpersonal Relations
Why do people
OPEN AREA
HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY
BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF
UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT
KNOWN TO ANYONE
Self
Known Unknown
Known
Unknown
It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)
JOHARI WINDOW
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull The beginning of lsquoeverythingrsquo happening in business and core of all actions is human activity
bull Nothing of any consequence happens unti l human beings want to act
bull Individuals are hiredselected based on their technical skil ls but their success on the job is based on Human Relation Skil ls
bull People need people Human experience involves interaction or relationship with other people
Interpersonal relationships are social associations connections or affiliations between two or more people
They vary in differing levels of intimacy and sharing or establishment of common ground
The study of relationships is of concern to sociology psychology and anthropology
bull It explains why one man works harder than
the other
bull Why one employee quits his job much
sooner than the other
bull Why one group of employee restricts their
output and and another works energetically
bull Interpersonal Relations stand for the
development of an effective organization
bull It is more than winning friends and
influencing people
bull It is based on the recognition of human
feelings and aspirations in the
organizations
The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes
from understanding othersrsquo feelings and
attitude thereby developing more respect for
people and accepting them as individuals
Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills
Relationship Management Skills Behavioral
Skills are just different names for an ability to
deal with people in a warm positive and result
oriented manner
Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient
bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity
bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship
The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and
its expression
The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence
Aristotle
Interpersonal Relations are the integration
of people into work situations that motivate
them to work together
Interpersonal relations deals with
bull Human emotions
bull Impulses and
bull Deep feelings
These arise out of one`s needs
and drives such as
bull The instinct of security and possession
bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc
Psychology of Interpersonal Relations
Why do people
OPEN AREA
HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY
BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF
UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT
KNOWN TO ANYONE
Self
Known Unknown
Known
Unknown
It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)
JOHARI WINDOW
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Interpersonal relationships are social associations connections or affiliations between two or more people
They vary in differing levels of intimacy and sharing or establishment of common ground
The study of relationships is of concern to sociology psychology and anthropology
bull It explains why one man works harder than
the other
bull Why one employee quits his job much
sooner than the other
bull Why one group of employee restricts their
output and and another works energetically
bull Interpersonal Relations stand for the
development of an effective organization
bull It is more than winning friends and
influencing people
bull It is based on the recognition of human
feelings and aspirations in the
organizations
The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes
from understanding othersrsquo feelings and
attitude thereby developing more respect for
people and accepting them as individuals
Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills
Relationship Management Skills Behavioral
Skills are just different names for an ability to
deal with people in a warm positive and result
oriented manner
Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient
bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity
bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship
The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and
its expression
The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence
Aristotle
Interpersonal Relations are the integration
of people into work situations that motivate
them to work together
Interpersonal relations deals with
bull Human emotions
bull Impulses and
bull Deep feelings
These arise out of one`s needs
and drives such as
bull The instinct of security and possession
bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc
Psychology of Interpersonal Relations
Why do people
OPEN AREA
HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY
BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF
UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT
KNOWN TO ANYONE
Self
Known Unknown
Known
Unknown
It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)
JOHARI WINDOW
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull It explains why one man works harder than
the other
bull Why one employee quits his job much
sooner than the other
bull Why one group of employee restricts their
output and and another works energetically
bull Interpersonal Relations stand for the
development of an effective organization
bull It is more than winning friends and
influencing people
bull It is based on the recognition of human
feelings and aspirations in the
organizations
The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes
from understanding othersrsquo feelings and
attitude thereby developing more respect for
people and accepting them as individuals
Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills
Relationship Management Skills Behavioral
Skills are just different names for an ability to
deal with people in a warm positive and result
oriented manner
Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient
bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity
bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship
The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and
its expression
The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence
Aristotle
Interpersonal Relations are the integration
of people into work situations that motivate
them to work together
Interpersonal relations deals with
bull Human emotions
bull Impulses and
bull Deep feelings
These arise out of one`s needs
and drives such as
bull The instinct of security and possession
bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc
Psychology of Interpersonal Relations
Why do people
OPEN AREA
HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY
BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF
UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT
KNOWN TO ANYONE
Self
Known Unknown
Known
Unknown
It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)
JOHARI WINDOW
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull Interpersonal Relations stand for the
development of an effective organization
bull It is more than winning friends and
influencing people
bull It is based on the recognition of human
feelings and aspirations in the
organizations
The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes
from understanding othersrsquo feelings and
attitude thereby developing more respect for
people and accepting them as individuals
Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills
Relationship Management Skills Behavioral
Skills are just different names for an ability to
deal with people in a warm positive and result
oriented manner
Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient
bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity
bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship
The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and
its expression
The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence
Aristotle
Interpersonal Relations are the integration
of people into work situations that motivate
them to work together
Interpersonal relations deals with
bull Human emotions
bull Impulses and
bull Deep feelings
These arise out of one`s needs
and drives such as
bull The instinct of security and possession
bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc
Psychology of Interpersonal Relations
Why do people
OPEN AREA
HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY
BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF
UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT
KNOWN TO ANYONE
Self
Known Unknown
Known
Unknown
It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)
JOHARI WINDOW
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes
from understanding othersrsquo feelings and
attitude thereby developing more respect for
people and accepting them as individuals
Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills
Relationship Management Skills Behavioral
Skills are just different names for an ability to
deal with people in a warm positive and result
oriented manner
Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient
bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity
bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship
The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and
its expression
The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence
Aristotle
Interpersonal Relations are the integration
of people into work situations that motivate
them to work together
Interpersonal relations deals with
bull Human emotions
bull Impulses and
bull Deep feelings
These arise out of one`s needs
and drives such as
bull The instinct of security and possession
bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc
Psychology of Interpersonal Relations
Why do people
OPEN AREA
HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY
BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF
UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT
KNOWN TO ANYONE
Self
Known Unknown
Known
Unknown
It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)
JOHARI WINDOW
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient
bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity
bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship
The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and
its expression
The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence
Aristotle
Interpersonal Relations are the integration
of people into work situations that motivate
them to work together
Interpersonal relations deals with
bull Human emotions
bull Impulses and
bull Deep feelings
These arise out of one`s needs
and drives such as
bull The instinct of security and possession
bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc
Psychology of Interpersonal Relations
Why do people
OPEN AREA
HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY
BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF
UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT
KNOWN TO ANYONE
Self
Known Unknown
Known
Unknown
It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)
JOHARI WINDOW
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and
its expression
The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence
Aristotle
Interpersonal Relations are the integration
of people into work situations that motivate
them to work together
Interpersonal relations deals with
bull Human emotions
bull Impulses and
bull Deep feelings
These arise out of one`s needs
and drives such as
bull The instinct of security and possession
bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc
Psychology of Interpersonal Relations
Why do people
OPEN AREA
HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY
BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF
UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT
KNOWN TO ANYONE
Self
Known Unknown
Known
Unknown
It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)
JOHARI WINDOW
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Interpersonal Relations are the integration
of people into work situations that motivate
them to work together
Interpersonal relations deals with
bull Human emotions
bull Impulses and
bull Deep feelings
These arise out of one`s needs
and drives such as
bull The instinct of security and possession
bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc
Psychology of Interpersonal Relations
Why do people
OPEN AREA
HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY
BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF
UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT
KNOWN TO ANYONE
Self
Known Unknown
Known
Unknown
It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)
JOHARI WINDOW
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Interpersonal relations deals with
bull Human emotions
bull Impulses and
bull Deep feelings
These arise out of one`s needs
and drives such as
bull The instinct of security and possession
bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc
Psychology of Interpersonal Relations
Why do people
OPEN AREA
HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY
BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF
UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT
KNOWN TO ANYONE
Self
Known Unknown
Known
Unknown
It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)
JOHARI WINDOW
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Psychology of Interpersonal Relations
Why do people
OPEN AREA
HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY
BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF
UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT
KNOWN TO ANYONE
Self
Known Unknown
Known
Unknown
It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)
JOHARI WINDOW
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Why do people
OPEN AREA
HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY
BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF
UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT
KNOWN TO ANYONE
Self
Known Unknown
Known
Unknown
It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)
JOHARI WINDOW
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
OPEN AREA
HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY
BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF
UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT
KNOWN TO ANYONE
Self
Known Unknown
Known
Unknown
It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)
JOHARI WINDOW
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Transactional Analysis
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
18
What is TA
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS
bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE
bull A TRAINING TOOL
bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Objective of TA
To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
20
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL
PEOPLErdquo
BUILT-IN HUMOR
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
21
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo
CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
22
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo
ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo
ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo
ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo
ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo
ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo
ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo
ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo
ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo
ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo
ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo
ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo
ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
23
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
24
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo
(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo
(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
25
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo
(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo
(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo
(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
26
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo
(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo
(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Handling relationships
bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others
bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness
bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Improving Emotional Intelligence
Recognizing Emotions in others
bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill
bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
EI Adds Value
bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise
EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others
bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Interpersonal relations add value
bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6
bull He made a dozen simple additions
bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27
bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo
bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Anecdotes
Symbolism
And Stories On
Interpersonal Relations
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Everybody is somebody
bull Treat people as individuals
bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity
bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego
bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Do not run down people
bull Two things are bad for heart
Running upstairs and running down people
bull Benjamin Franklin adds
ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals
courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Built up gradually
bull Interpersonal relations are built up
gradually like a castle - brick upon brick
bull Nurture it tenderly
bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it
like a sand castle crumbling down by a
single stroke
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Techniques of improving interpersonal skills
bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude
bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs
bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments
bull Ability of effective communication
bull To work effectively as a team member
bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until
it is confined
bull No life ever grows until it is focussed
dedicated and disciplined
bull The man who has to control others must
learn to control himself If he cannot control
what is under his hat he cannot control
what is under his roof
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Arm yourself with a smile
bull With a smile you can disarm even your
enemy
bull A leader with a sense of humor is more
warmly acceptable to his followers
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Control your anger
bull Man Is the product of his environment It is
but natural that you are in the mood of
anger sometimes
bull Anger can damage human relations It is
important that till you calm down do not
talk to anybody do nothing
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Self Confidence
Self confidence is the awareness of one`s
own worth and will power
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others
Greet your people
Every morning your men wait to greet you
To return a greeting indifferently is like
throwing a splash of cold water
The few seconds you spent on greeting your
people is very important for the day
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Address your people by name
You must identify your people by name and
not by designation or physical appearance
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People
You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions
Words
Every loving touch is a communication of esteem
and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared
for
When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your
subordinate it renders an emotional bondage
between you and your man
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
He is somebody to you
bull Create occasions to introduce your men to
your visitors
bull This is the opportunity to speak good of
your men to a third person
bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they
are somebody to you as you are to them
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Respect one`s opinions and convictions
The right to express one`s opinions and
convictions is to be respected however
small one may be
Thousands of men wasted away their days
in prison for the sake of their opinions
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Social Calls - Cementing Effect
Visit the families of your men occasionally
it stenghthen your relations
You do not have to wait for a ceremony to
take place in that family and a formal
invitation thereof This instills a sense of
confidence
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments
bull Your men know well that you are their
superior
bull It is your inferiority complex that makes
you throw your weight around
bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty
because you are not
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Admit your mistake
bull To err is human To accept error is
greatness
bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every
human being to prove that his point is right
bull When you go wrongadmit to your people
your errors without any reservation It is the
mark of a great man
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Courtesy Pays
bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed
and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully
bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president
explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Ability Of Effective Communication
bull Communication besides being simple has to
be absolutely clear
bull Communication is a flash of lightening and
often even more illuminating
bull It enables you to see others and make
yourself seen and known
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Listen To Others
bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything
bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points
bull Everybody likes a good listener
bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
It is a joy to be heard
bull One of the joys of life is to know that you
have been heard and understood correctly
and to know that someone cares
bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment
on the part of speaker when he knows that
he has been understood correctly
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Listen with your eyes
bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode
bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties
bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears
bull Listen with your eyes
bull Listen with your heart
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
To Work Effectively As A Team Member
Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each
time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned
bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling
bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Elevate the general morale of your people
Build up loyalty and sincerity of your
people by being up front line especially
when your men are in real trouble
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Identify hidden talents
bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and
bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you
bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance
bull They should not be treated as botherations
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness
If you attempt to please each and everybody
you will go mad
An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young
wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones
So between the young and the old he became bald
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Respect social sentiments
bull People do not like sudden changes
bull We can not abruptly change social customs
traditions and values
bull We should conform to them and respect the
social sentiments of our people
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Get feedback
bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what
your men think about you
bull You may need some corrections
bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis
bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so
that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic
leader
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti
movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years
before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)
But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo
From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
कबीर क दोह
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय
bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय
bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय
bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय
bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह
ितरस ल
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things
1 Is it true 2 Is it kind
3 Is i t necessary
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being
disagreeable)
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one
wil l believe the negative remark
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people
Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand
do not seek so much to be loved as to love
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our
personal relationships with others wherever we are
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Types
bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )
bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)
bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)
bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge
bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships
bull Common Groundsbull Intimate
Relationshipbull Popular
Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive
Relationships
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships
The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy
It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse
Abusive relationships are often characterized
by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays
Abusive relationships are often progressive
That is the abuse gets worse over time
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Conflict Management Max amp Max
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at
the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needsbull Meet Max
ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated
ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of
customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer
servicebull Max and Max
ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff
ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations
bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals
bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes
About Confl ict
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job
bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change
bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is
a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured
Contdhellip
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party
Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest
What is Confl ict
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages
bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another
ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility
bull Sales department versus credit department
ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent
upon another (MIS)
Why Confl ict
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes
bull Type A versus Type B
ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest
Contdhellip
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Causes of Confl ict
bull Personality differences
bull Value differences
bull Differences in Perspectives
bull Differences in Goals
bull Differences in Departmental
Allegiance
bull Ambiguities about responsibilities
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull Poor communication
bull Seeking power
bull Dissatisfaction with management style
bull Weak leadership
bull Lack of openness
bull Change in leadership
Beginning of Confl ict
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Body language Disagreements regardless of issue
Withholding bad news
Surprises
Strong public statements
Airing disagreements through media
Conflicts in value system
Confl ict Indicators
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Desire for power
Increasing lack of respect
Open disagreement
Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues
Lack of clear goals
No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all
Contdhellip
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Constructive Confl ict
bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues
bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through
learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and
skillsbull Helps people be real for example it
motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Destructive Confl ict
Takes attention away from other important activities
Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing
cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior
such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Types of Confl ict
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
The Conflict Process
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Managing confl ict
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Managing confl ict
bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts
ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Functional Conflict
bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance
bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo
bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo
ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Dysfunctional Confl ict
bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict
ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences
bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task
completion more difficult
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Managing Dysfunctional confl ict
bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Collaborating winwin
Compromising win somelose some
Accommodating
losewin
Competing winlose
Avoiding no winnersno losers
5 Confl ict Management Strategies
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or
disagreement
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict
Clarify and identify the cause of conflict
Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone
can accept Acknowledge solution win-win
solution
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Confl ict Resolution
bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without
cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables
ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships
ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints
and needs bull Altering individuals
ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Confl ict Resolution
bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-
offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties
bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement
bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement
bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Confl ict Resolution Techniques
bull Problem solving
bull Super co-ordinate goals
bull Expansion of resources
bull Avoidance
bull Smoothing
bull Compromise
bull Authoritative command
bull Altering the human variable
bull Altering the structural variables
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind
(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning
(Before opening your eyes)
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person
Andfaith
movesmountains
Delegation
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be
better Managed
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict
Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned
8
One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
We listen ampFind Solutions
EGOSELF
Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other
EGOOTHER PERSON
Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind
BlockageBlockage
We hear amp donrsquot Listen
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
TENSION
CONFLICT
FRUSTRATION
HELPLESSNESS
INSULT
ANGER
DEPRESSION
STRESS
Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler
AGRESSION
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude
And You Change Your Life
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things
Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude
85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude
ATTITUDE
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS
Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what
other people think or say or do
It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home
We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip
We cannot change the inevitable
The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have
and that ishellip
our Attitude
Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO
MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Hard workHard work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98
KnowledgeKnowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =
96
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
LoveLove
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Then what makes 100
Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]
LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
ATTITUDEATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100
It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR
Life 100Life 100
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our
attitudeattitude
To go to the top To go to the top
to that to that 100 100
what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Positive A++itude
When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily
You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you
When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success
bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean
bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult
ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Building Posit ive Attitude
bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem
bullAvoid Negative Influences
bullWork on Continuous Self Development
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief
bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed
bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Dynamics of Negative Attitude
Attitude Activator
Personality Attitude In Action
Result
bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism
bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable
bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Your
Attitude
Determines
Your
Altitude
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
When she cought the f irst cookie the man
cought one also She felt herself
infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just
thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I
was in the mood I would punch his eye
not to forget this daringrdquo
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either
That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo
Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Ah That was too much
She was too much angry
Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
She felt so much
ashamed She real ized
that she was the
wrong one
She had forgotten that her
cookies were kept into her purse
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
while she was been very mad
thinking that he was dividing her
cookies with him
but there was no more t ime to
explain herself Nor to
apologizesrdquo
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
The stone
after shot
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
The word
after pronounced
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
The occasion
after lost
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
The time
after gone
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Unplug your negative thoughts
One of the keys to
overcoming
depression is learning
how to control your
low moods and
reversing them
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Express it appropriately
Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo
This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Do Not Accuse
bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person
bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip
raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Arrest Anxiety
bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety
bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety
bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety
Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game
at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos
needs
bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and
well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer
service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine
bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer
service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service
bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a
chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can
start worrying about mine