THE SACRAMENT of CONFIRMATION: EMPOWERING Part Vc: Confirmation--Empowering.
EMPOWERING YOU TO STOP HOLDING BACK AND START MOVING … · EMPOWERING YOU TO STOP HOLDING BACK AND...
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E M P O W E R I N G Y O U T O S T O P H O L D I N G B A C K A N D S T A R T M O V I N G F O R W A R D
Courageous Conversations
Leah M. FraserClinical Psychologist
IDENTIFYING THE CONVERSATION
Identify a difficult situation or conversation to be had
What makes the conversation challenging/difficult What are the risks of doing nothing What are the potential benefits of having the
conversation
Challenging conversations
What are some examples of challenging conversations
What makes them challenging?
Some Challenging conversations:
Telling your partner you are upset Telling parents you have concerns about their child Addressing conflict with a co-worker Approaching your boss with a concern Approaching a subordinate with concerns Sharing your concerns with parents Telling the waiter you don’t like your food ‘breaking bad news’ Your boss asking to speak with you…. Talking with your teen about anything!
Why should we address conflict?
Emotional Health Reduce Fear and Anxiety Missed Opportunities Personal Growth Improve relationships
The conversation is not about the relationship; the conversation is the relationship. Susan Scott – Fierce Conversations
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he
who conquers that fear.
Nelson Mandela
Effective Communication 101
Successful communication is when ALL parties have the SAME understanding of what has been communicated.
Forms of Communication
Active Listening Verbal Non-verbal Emotional Awareness Written (email/text/letters/reports) Visual (graphs/charts)
Forms of Communication
Active Listening Focus on the person speaking Show interest Avoid interrupting Check for understanding Paraphrase
Forms of Communication
Verbal Speak clearly Choose your words carefully Tone of voice Consider the audience Think before responding
Forms of Communication
Non-verbal Body language Eye contact Gestures Posture Facial expressions Human behaviour Touch/proximity Dress/grooming Silence/pace or speed of speech
Forms of Communication
Emotional Awareness Consider other people’s feelings Consider your own feelings Have empathy Operate on trust Recognize misunderstandings
REFLECTING ON COMMUNICATION
3 people: speaker, listener, observer Will all take turns in each
Talk about the concern you identified, the risks/benefits of having a courageous conversation
Conflict Resolution 101
Effectively convey information Being sensitive to other people’s feelings Being polite Avoiding gossip Accurately interpreting others’ emotions Calmly arriving at resolutions
How to STOP Avoiding Conflict
Start with the goal (win-win) Become curious Set the tone Open well Give your role the responsibility Agree with them – diffuse defensiveness Stick to facts Identify/own your feelings Pick a good moment
Get ready….
Set yourself up for success!
Decide if the issue is worth addressing. Know WHY you want to have the conversation Write a clear statement of: The issue you want to discuss, How the issue is affecting you, The desired end goal/outcome.
Get set….
Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous
conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls
Get set….
Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous
conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls
Get set….
Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous
conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls
Get set….
Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous
conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls
Get set….
Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous
conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls
Get set….
Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous
conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls
Get set….
Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous
conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls
Get set….
Deal with your Fears Deal with your Ego Know WHY you want to have a courageous
conversation Be prepared to experience discomfort Be real abut your expectations Set the Emotional Tone for the conversation Avoid Pitfalls
Having the Courageous Conversation
Step 1 – Clearly outline WHAT the issue is, WHY it’s important to discuss, and HOW the issues is affecting you
Step 2 - Invite the person’s response with curiosity
Step 3 - Reflect back your understanding of their perspective
Step 4 – Share the situation from your perspective
Step 5 – Create a commitment to an action plan to move forward