EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEIn Your Workplace75% of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including inability to handle interpersonal problems; unsatisfactory team leadership during times of difficulty or conflict; or inability to adapt to change or elicit trust. The Center for Creative Leadership

Lori VanNess, CPM, SPHR, MSHRAVanNess Consulting863-514-7660 vannessconsults@gmail.com

Emotional IntelligenceWhat is it?How will it make a difference?

We are being judged by a new yardstick; not just how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also how well we handle ourselves and each other.

Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.Working with Emotional Intelligence

This Could Help Us Understand emotional intelligence and why it is important to personal and professional success. Recognize five competencies you can work on to increase your level of emotional intelligence. Listen to and employ your emotions for better decision making. Show you care, and build trust by displaying sensitivity and concern. Use your energy and enthusiasm for motivation.

Personal Benefits ofEmotional Intelligence Greater career success

Stronger personal relationships

Increased optimism and confidence

Better health

Professional Benefits ofEmotional Intelligence Effective leadership skills Improved communication Less workplace conflict Better problem solving skills Increased likelihood of promotion

Good Leader/Bad leaderUpbeatAttract talentEnthusiasticSupportiveDont dwell on errorsMove to solutionsParticipativeLaugh at selfInvolved in CommunityBalanced lifeNegativeIrritableDomineeringFocused on ErrorsFault-findingFear in environmentDisappointedSpend time in officeEntitledMicromanager

The Five Essential Competencies of Emotional Intelligence

If you understand your own feelings you get a really great handle on how youre going to interact and perform with others

So one of the first startingpoints is, whats going oninside of me?

Chuck WolfePresident, C. J. Wolfe Associates, LLC

If one of the first startingpoints is, whats going oninside of me?

What training activities helped you become self aware?

Self aware of what?

Practicing Self-Awareness: Awareness of our own emotional states is the foundation of all the E.I. skills. Learn to tune-in to your emotions they can give you valid information about your responses to stressful situations. Recognize the importance of emotions even in technical fields.

If we are in a heightened state of agitation or anger we cannot make good decisions, we cannot reason well.

Christine CasperCommunication, Motivation & Management Inc.

Practicing Self-Regulation: Accept responsibility for choosing your own emotional responses. Learn to reframe stressful situations into ones that are challenging. Be aware of, and learn to manage, your own emotional triggers.

High performers are those who are able to see with some clarity to what degree they are responsible for a setback and to what degree it may be circumstance or other people, and as a result they areable to be more persistent.

Dr. J.P. Pawliw-FryCo-Director, Inst. For Health & Human Potential

Practicing Self-Motivation: Recognize that emotions affect your performance. Identify your explanatory style. When a setback strikes, resist asking whats wrong with me? Instead, ask what can I fix? Work to achieve your flow state, being in the moment with work tasks.

If people will stop for a moment and put themselves in another persons shoesit will help them modify their own behavior. It will help them develop relationshipswith those people.

Darryl Grigg, Ed.D.Co-Developer, American Express Emotional Competence Program

Practicing Empathy: Realize that emotions impact such measurable goals as productivity and safety. Empathy means recognizing, and responding appropriately to, the emotions of others. By expressing empathy, you also create empathy in others.

"And so there's a real pay-off. The people who will become the leaders, the people who will become the star performers, are the ones who have the strengths in the key emotional intelligence abilities."

Daniel Goleman, Ph.D.Founder, Emotional Intelligence Services

Creating Effective Relationships: Employ all your emotional competencies awareness, regulation, motivation, and empathy to: Influence and persuade others. Build consensus and support for team goals. Motivate and inspire yourself and others to achieve those goals.

Parting ThoughtsEQ impacts everything you say and doIt is the single biggest predictor of performance in all types of jobs80% of high performers have high EQ.If your emotional abilities arent in hand, if you dont have self awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you cant have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far. Daniel Goleman

Thank YouEmotional Intelligence CRM LearningEmotional Intelligence 2.0 Bradberry & GreavesDaniel Goleman articles & booksEmotionally intelligent workforce Tytherleigh, Moon & BoydReuven Bar-On ArticlesMayer & Salovey Theory

Emotional Intelligence in Your Workplace has proven to impact the bottom line in the workplace. EI or EQ is a set of competencies demonstrating the ability that each employee has to recognize their behaviors, moods and actions and then the ability to manage them according to every situation.The concept of EI began with the theory derived from research by Gardner on Multiple Intelligence. Other theorists added and defined it and Daniel Goleman 1995-2003 refined the concept in terms of job and work performance.Emotions are complex and people can experience a combination of different emotions. Many theorists however, agree that basic emotions have universal meaning universal across cultures.Behaving in an unpredictable way in the work environment may sometimes be an example of poor emotional intelligence.The good news is you can develop your EQ unlike your IQ EQ is not fixed at birth.

*First Everyone of us are Leaders we may not be in a leadership position, but we still have leadership characteristics, traits, skills and knowledge we may not all have the abilities, however, we still need to focus on our emotions.

Great Leaders move us They work through emotions they ignite our passion, and inspire us they are people magnets the leader can sway the emotions of their followers. It is not just what the leader does, but how he does it.

Emotional intelligence involves the abilities to perceive, appraise, and express emotion; to access and/or generate feelings when they facilitate thought; to understand emotion and emotional knowledge; and to regulate emotions to promote emotional and intellectual growth Mayer & Salovey (1997)In a nutshell, Emotional Intelligence is how people handle themselves and their relationships. Leaders who maximize the benefits drive the emotions of those they lead in the right direction.It is important to note that this is attached to the design of the human brain and what scientists are calling the open-loop nature of the limbic system, our emotional centers.We rely on connections with other people for our own emotional stability ie: a mother to soothe her crying infant. Emotions spread and can be expressed by emotionally expressive transmits in moods without speaking a single word. The more cohesive the group, the stronger the sharing of moods, emotional history and even hot buttons to provide success or failure.

*The interplay among groups or teams creates a kind of emotional soup, with everyone adding their own flavor, but the leader adds the strongest seasoning.Emotions are like viruses but not with the same speed and ease. Happiness, cheerfulness and warmth spread most easily, while irritability is less contagious and depression spreads hardly at all.

Emotional Intelligence distinguishes the best from the rest First you have to understand yourself and others and how to relate, adapt and cope with your environment.

*Do you want a workforce that is:Positive? Productive? Creative? Happier? Loyal? Able to focus and follow-through? Confident? Empathic? In a career they love with work that is meaningful? Understanding of how the organization works what is the strategy, the structure, processes, rewards and how they are aligned and/or linked to the employees skills, tasks, competencies. A no-fear environment!

Would you be happy if your employees/team/staff were at work on a more regular basis? Absenteeism, sickness, stress, anxiety, depression were minimal or non-existent? Turnover was reduced and a general feeling of this is a GREAT place to work so your employees are doing all the recruiting!

Recognize and practice your own emotional intelligence keep a journal and have trusted peers monitor and/or support your improvements. S. Covey Seek first to understand, then to be understood Listen, Listen, Listen and dont react take time to digest comments.Having a team of truly empowered employees who know you care about them. It is not about training EI or using a dunk-tank to tell them about it it is year-round focus! You have to commit to it through self-evaluation and checking with your peers, mentors, coaches, and/or team members. Eliminate any emotional outbursts from your work environment. Use your energy and enthusiasm to provide a motivational environment.*WIIFM? Greater Career Success Create a culture that will allow the group to fulfill its potential dont let your ego/arrogance get in the way. Use the right emotions with the right body language and be honest and truthful.Stronger personal and work relationships You need to demonstrate your skills without stepping on toes or damaging relationships with inappropriate emotional behaviorsIncreased optimism and confidence Body language is a great way to reinforce your team and yourself walk with a smile on your face and confidently dont only look for errors, look for the good in peopleBetter health less stress, anxiety, worry and sleepless nights. Focus on wellness and well being.

*Practice your leadership skills learn how to utilize new skills, read articles, books, etcOne of the best magazines that I found covers most of this in ONPOINT Harvard Business Review Fall 2014. This compilation of articles is all about leadership titled Seize Your Leadership Moment. These articles are very useful with ideas in practice as well as summary of each article.Communication Its not what you say as much as it is how you say it. To win over listeners use an animated voice facial expressions and gestures when speaking. Use Charisma the ability to captivate and inspire use metaphors, analogies, stories, anecdotes relate to the listener and help them understandReduce workplace conflict Use role reversal, ask questions about how they feel if they were in the opposing viewpoint. Give or take a break- step back before you react.Better problem solving skills Tackle problems as they emerge remember those relationships now is the time to call for help if you need it. Focus on solving problems using your team, peer and other ideas as well as your own.Promotion Look for every opportunity to demonstrate your leadership potential, find people you aspire to be and study them! DONT let your ambitions distract you from doing your current job well. Support your boss in reaching his/her goals. Bloom where you are planted!!!*The more expressive a good leader is at transmitting emotions, the more forcefully the emotions will spread. People want to work with them, they are upbeat, they attract talented people, they are enthusiastic, supportive, and can laugh at themselves and at mistakes or errors. They are able to evaluateErrors and focus on the learning, not dwell on the mistake, but move on to solution. They manage by walking around and rewarding and recognizing people. They are active in their community and serve on several boards, or in offices on boards. They have time for their families and make time to re-ignite their energy.Bad leaders emit the negative register, they are irritable, touchy, domineering, cold and repel people. No one wants to work with them. They look for the bad in people, focus on the mistake and blame and spend more time trying to show how disappointed they are rather than focus on fixing the problems. They love to document negative and spend most of the time in their office. Everyone has a job, and the tasks are what they are required to do, so no recognition for a good job, just expectations. They are loners who believe they are entitled because of their position to have a following.

*Self-Awareness requires you to tune into your senses, gauge your mood and get I touch with your feelings. Knowing what drives you what you are passionate about.Self Regulation helps your recognize control and manage the outcome between your interpretation of an event and your response to it.Self-Motivation is action adopting positive self-talk, building an effective support network, visualize an inspirational mentor and creating an EI environmentEmpathy is truly listening and understanding yourself and others- Effective Relationships help others to develop their emotional competencies, resolve differences, solve problems and how we relate to others.

*Our ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions and drives as well as their effect on others Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Bradberry and Greaves says it is your ability to accurately perceive your own emotions in the moment and understand your tendencies across situations Staying on to p of your typical reactions to specific events, challenges and people. They are reactions to your life experience. It amounts to what makes you tick, who or what pushes your buttons this requires you to search or self-reflect on how you can keep from saying or acting in a way that you might regret. It gives you a clear understanding of what you do well, what motivates you and what satisfies you and which people and what pushes your buttons.83% of top performers have self-awareness as a strong foundational skill. The more we understand ourselves, the better we are to reach our full potential. Manage your emotions, dont let them manage you.***1. Quit treating your feelings as good or bad suspend judgment of your emotions allows them to run their course and vanish.Observe the ripple effect from your emotions your emotions are powerful weapons. The more you understand how your emotions ripple outward, the better equipped youll be to choose the type of ripples that you want to create.Lean into your discomfort rather than avoiding a feeling, your goal should be to move toward the emotion into it, and eventually through it.Feel your emotion physically - think of a positive and a negative emotion and remember those physical effects. You will learn those triggers and often can take a deep breath or step back from them to ensure you are using the correct emotion at the correct time.

*Self regulation is the ability to control impulses and moods - listening to and learning from our gut feeling it is what happens when you act or do not act. Your ability to use your awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and direct your behavior positively. Also, our ability to tolerate the uncertainty as you explore your emotions and options.Real results come from putting your momentary needs on hold to pursue larger, more important goals. Those who manage themselves the best are able to see things through without cracking. Self management is revealed by your ability to tolerate the uncertainty as you explore your emotions and options. (EI 2.0)

*Obvious and momentary opportunities are the easiest to spot and manage. Once you understand and build comfort with what you are feeling, the best course of action will show itself.*Self regulation or self management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions to actively choose what you say and do. It is bigger than taking a deep breath your eruptions are no different from a volcano you have those rumbling signs before the lava starts flowing. Each day, you can choose subtle things to influence what is happening below the surface.Dont get in your own way and do things that limit your success. Develop the ability to size yourself up quickly before you head in the wrong direction. Think about how your feelings and how they are influence your behavior. Know who and what pushes those buttons and equip yourself with everything you need. Practice, reflect and remember your life wont morph into a fairy tail devoid of obstacles but you will be better prepared to write your own ending.Strategies -Breathe right, make your goals public, count to ten, talk to a skilled self-manager, smile and laugh more often, control your self-talk, stay synchronized, put a mental recharge into your schedule.

*The passion to pursue goals with energy! Once you are aware of your feelings and have learned ways to manage them, then you direct the power of your emotions towards a purpose that motivates and inspires you. Accept change it is inevitable adapt and refocus.What motivates you may not motivate others that is okay. It is important for you to have drive as well as the ability to bring others together and provide an environment that motivates them.For you, adopt positive self-talk. Create that EI environment and allow yourself to play, laugh, regain the energy and refocus on what is important to you! Also, it is about regaining that honeymoon period you had when you were first employed in your organization. Lacking self-motivation is where disengagement occurs stats show that 80% of Americans dont like their jobs - they are there but not engaged or for us in FL in DROP this is where goal setting is critical it gives meaning to mundane work.Focus on freedoms not your limitations what your can do and not what your cant. Take accountability for what you have control over get out of victim mode and back to accountability. There are tons of articles on motivation find what inspires you the books 1001 ways to energize employees and 1001 ways to take initiative at work by Bob Nelson have lots of ideas.

*Remember what is important to you and focus use the video from Dr. Stephen Covey about the Rocks Redefine your values and purpose and schedule time in your calendar to fulfil your roles for yourself daily something physically, spiritually, intellectually and emotionally. For the others in your life, schedule something for them during the week or month depending on your roles. Invest in yourself and get your mojo back.*Remember the game twister now is the time to be flexible, bend, twist and be ready for what is ahead by taking more initiative, balance risk-taking and persist toward goals*Looking outward, EI is tuning into our own feelings and tuning into the feelings of those around us. Our responses should be sensitive and with compassion.It is walking in the other persons shoes acknowledging their emotions while remembering those emotions are theirs not ours. You should try to understand where those feelings are coming from, but you are not responsible for them.Listen and respond by displaying sensitivity and concern thus making a connection with people. Research has proven that when we meet someone, we determine whether we like them and trust them within the first 3-5 seconds initially relying on gut instinct.*Connect ones dreams releases ones passion, energy and excitement about life. What do I want in my life? Changing habits is very difficult. Fast forward to 15 years from now what kinds of people would be around you? What does your environment look like? What might you be doing during a typical day or week? Write this vision down. (You should feel energized, and experience a release of energy, feel more optimistic. This kind of envisioning of an ideal future can be a powerful way to connect with real possibilities for change in our lives. You may then feel worried, or perceive obstacles; you may feel frustrated because you are not living that way currently. We can go from optimist to pessimist by focusing on the barriers, rather than the opportunities to change and live our dream.

*Experimenting with new behavior, thoughts, feelingsStep back listen, dont jump inLet the other person speakGet some objectivity ask yourself, Is there a sound reason for my reaction, or am I jumping to conclusions?Ask clarifying questions, rather than sound judgmental or hostileSeek first to understand, then to be understood Steven CoveyIt is difficult to determine how leadership abilities were learned, they are a combination of observation, mimicking, education, experience, adaptation, and just plain doing them. The difficulty in teaching them, is that you need to practice them.Setting goals and creating action plans was first written down by Benjamin Franklin.Goals should build on ones strengths, not ones weaknessesGoals must be a persons own not goals that someone else has imposedPlans should flexibly allow people to prepare for the future in different ways a single planning method imposed by an organization will often prove counterproductive.Plans must be feasible, with manageable steps: plans that dont fit smoothly into a persons life and work will likely be dropped within a few weeks or months.Plans that dont suit a persons learning style will prove demotivating and quickly lose his/her attention.

*The greatest pay-off for leaders who are good at effective relationships is becoming the boss people want to work for.

Mentors and coaches are a healthy way for leaders to change their emotional responses. Reflecting on your career, is helpful, but to make changes, you may need to sign up with a coach or mentor. Good coaches understand the dilemmas of organizations and cultures as well as your strengths and challenges and use EI themselves.

*Bringing the Whole Team Along!One of the ways you can move toward great resonance is if the leadership growth goes beyond the individual, and includes the team. To improve the organizational climate, you may need to set a goal and share your goal with your team. Get everyone speaking the same language, clarity of vision, and identify how the organization will improve.

*Organizations, networking, study groups where you can discus careers, leadership, and lives in general provide a place to develop strong mutual trust and frank feedback.Support of others can give you hope and confidence to change your gain in self-confidence and encouragement is all a result of positive group influence which leads to positive changes.Safety is crucial for your authentic learning to occur. Leaders often feel they are on stage or under a microscope and being scrutinized by everyone so they dont take a chance on exploring new habits.When a person is stressed, the body reacts blood pressure changes, cortisol is released and both interferes with new learning/When you dont feel safe, you are further inhibited in practicing new ways of acting, become defensive.

Create a win-win environment, foster open communication and learn to handle different communication styles and channels, identify individual needs of the team and play to their strengths.*Think before you speakDevelop meaningful long-lasting relationshipsUnderstand othersEnable others to become more productiveImprove your communication styleBe proactive with situations that create conflict

Make people believers not bystandersUnderstand uncertaintyShow humiltyLearn about your teams and others who may support your journey

Remember, people may forget what you said and forget what you did, but may never forget how you made them feel.

Find the people who believe in your desire and your ability to lead Fall in love with the or at least meet them for drinks on a regular basis! (HBR)

**