Emotional Intelligence

Hilary Nunns

Assertiveness

Sometimes we do not realise that there is an alternative to pleasing others or being aggressive

Experiences as a child & young adult – can affect assertiveness long term

From an early age, by doing what others want us to do we are often praised.

We may lack confidence or have low self esteem.

Cultures and belief systems often discourage assertiveness.

Creating a positive ethos and climate

Remember: All adults in the classroom are role models

Do you have emotional buttons?

Press 1 for anger

Press 2 for tears

Press 3 for getting sent out

Press 3 for getting sent out

Press 4 for an argument

TriggerFeelings

 

What I thinkAngry feelings

What I thinkNo angry feelings

Someone pushes you in the corridor.   

(i) He wants to pick a fight.(ii) She wants to hurt me.

(I) He lost his balance.(i) Someone bullied her into

it.

Your teacher doesn’t listen when you are telling them why you are late.  

(i) They don’t care about me.(ii) They don’t believe me.

(i) She is busy trying to sort out another problem.

(ii) I have picked a bad time.(iii) I’m not making myself

clear.Your best friend does not talk to you.   

   

Someone takes your pen off your desk.   

   

You get told off for forgetting your portfolio.   

   

Separate the following:

The behaviour which has upset us

The effect on our own behaviour

The feelings it has created in us

The solution you would like

For a student:  

When other students accuse me of distracting them

(the behaviour)

I get a cause for concern (the effect)

It makes me feel angry because I feel picked on

(the feeling)

I would like to be able to discuss it with you

(the solution)

For a teacher:  

When students shout out (the behaviour)

It stops me from teaching (the effect)

And makes me feel frustrated and short tempered

(the feeling)

I would like you to put your hand up (the solution)

Who is in control?

Corey and the party organiser.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xc0CB6URrV0

Here’s your homework

Rethink your scenarios Separate the behaviour from the

feeling Decide where the low and high

emotional intelligence hot spots are Write a solution

January 2014

Anger Management Techniques

(for you and to share with your students)