Emotional Development from One to Three

Chap 11.1

Writing Activity

• Temper Tantrum– Imagine that a toddler is having a temper tantrum. She is

frustrated that she cannot have her way. Write a poem about the tantrum. Make your poem funny or serious, but be sure it expresses emotion.

– Writing tips – remember that not all poems rhyme. Here are some tips to help you get started:• Use language that creates interesting images• Use emotion packed words• Your poem should have a tempo or rhythm. Try settingyour poem

to music!

photo

• Even toddlers enjoy playing around other children. What do you think these children are learning from each other?

Emotional Patterns• Go in cycles throughout childhood

• Pronounced in children 1 to 3

• Frustration, rebellion, happiness, calmness, stability

• New emotions: jealousy

• Alternates between negative and positive periods

• Depends on 2 factors: child’s experiences and the child’s temperment

Individual differences

• Noticeable between 1st and 4th birthday• Due in part to the different experiences that each

child has– Ex. Only child differ from triplet who differ from 1 of 5

• Also result of the child’s temperament – the way the child naturally responds to other people and events– Intense child may become more frustrated than an

adaptable child– A perceptive (observant) child may show more empathy

than one who is less perceptive

Family members

• Each member of a family is an individual. What are some ways that the emotional needs of a parent are different from those of a two year old?

Eighteen months

• Children have become self-centered – refers to thinking about one’s own needs and wants and not those of others– Up to now caregivers have promptly meet the child’s needs

and desires– Now parents start to teach that some desires will not be

met right away and some request will never be met

– Young toddlers are likely to do the opposite of what is asked and their favorite response to everything is “no” – that allows them to feel some control over his or her world

Temper tantrums

• Toddlers go through negative periods as well as positive ones. What are some causes of negativism?

Negativism – doing the opposite of what others want

• Causes– The desire for independence

• Saying “no” is their way of saying “let me decide for myself”

– Frustration• They want to do more than their bodies are able to do and

they don’t have the language to express all their feelings so they just simply and emphatically say “no!”

– The realization of being a separate person• Is exciting and frightening. They welcome the power and

independence of being a separate person but they still want a tight bond with their primary caregiver

Strategies to help prevent conflicts (battle of wills between child and parent)

• Give choices– Instead of saying “pick up your books and toys” ask

“Which will you pick up first – the books or the toys?”• Redirect the child– Julia was having trouble stacking blocks so her

mother suggested that they read a book instead• Encourage talking– Ask “what is wrong” or “Don’t you like that?” –

encourage them to share what they are feeling

Temper tantrums

• Release anger or frustration by screaming, crying, kicking, pounding, and sometimes holding their breath.

• Begins around 18 months and continues until age three or four

• Often have when tired or frustrated• Giving into tantrums teaches them how to get

their way and it also makes them more likely to have tantrums

Handling Tantrums

• If a tantrum is about to begin, try to avoid it. Distract the child with a toy or by pointing out an activity going on elsewhere

• If a child has a tantrum at home, try ignoring it• If a child has a tantrum in public, take the child to a quiet spot

to cool down• Always remain calm and speak quietly et firmly• Acknowledge the child’s feeling and restate why the child’s

demands cannot be met• Adhere to set limits• Keep toddlers from hurting themselves or others• Once the tantrum is over, praise the child for calming down

Take charge

• With a partner, create a skit about how you would handle a two year old having a temper tantrum at the mall

Two years old• Less at odds with the world than 18 month old• Speech and motor skills have improved – easing some

frustration• They understand more and is able to wait longer for

various needs to be met• Express love and affection freely• Seeks approval and praise• Fewer and less intense emotional outbursts• Easier to reason with• Get along better with parents and other children• More outgoing and friendly• Less self-centered

Two and one-half years• Just as you adjust to a smoother, less intense toddler, the child enters another difficult stage• Not as easily distracted• Learning so much they often feel overwhelmed• Their desires and ability to understand tasks exceeds their physical ability to perform• They may know what they want to say but can not always say it clearly• Their frustrations may boil over• Struggle with immaturity and a powerful need for independence which causes them to resist

pressures to conform• Sensitive about being bossed, shown, helped, or directed during this stage• They can be stubborn, demanding and domineering• Their moods change rapidly and within a short time they can become lovable and completely

charming• Need for consistency – they want the same routines, carrier out the same way, every day –

how they cope with confusing world and helps them build confidence and a feeling of security

• Feel both independent and dependent• Sometimes they seek help and other times they want to do it themselves• Require love and patience, especially when their behavior is neither lovable nor patient• Need flexible limits rather than hard and fast rules

Three years• Happier nature • More cooperative• Learning to be considerate• More physically capable and therefore less frustrated• More willing to take directions from others• They will modify their behavior to win the praise and affection they

crave• Fewer temper tantrums• Like to talk – to their toys, their playmates, themselves, and their

imaginary friends• Want to tell parents all about their day• Respond when others talk to them• Can be reasoned with• Can be controlled by words

Three and one-half years

• Have suddenly become very insecure• Parents may feel the child is going backward rather

than forward emotionally• Fears are common – the dark, imaginary monsters,

strangers, loud noises• Emotional tension and insecurity show up in physical

ways – thumb sucking, nail biting, stumble or stutter• Try to ensure their own security by controlling their

environment – “I want to sit on the floor to eat lunch!” or “talk to me!”

Expert adivce

• “emotional well-being and social competence provide a strong foundation for emerging cognitive abilities, and together they are the bricks and mortar that comprise the foundation of human development.”– The science of early childhood development,

national scientific council on the developing child

• It is important to keep in mind these differences in temperament when teaching children how to control their emotions

• Most young children go through predictable stages in their emotional development. How do children typically change between eigtheen months and two years of age

An emotional roller coaster• Eighteen months

– The eighteen month old is defiant, trying to establish some control over her life

• Two years– The two year old is affectionate and may often be in the

caregivers way• Two and one-half years

– At two and one-half, the child may feel overwhelmed. Frustration the becomes anger

• Three years– The three year old is generally a happy child who is eager to help

• Three and one-half years– At three and one-half years, a child is often bothered by fears

Specific emotions

• Children express emotions openly until 2 or 3 and then begin to learn socially acceptable ways of displaying feelings

• Anger• Fear• Jealousy• Love and affection• empathy

Anger• Child’s way of reacting to frustration• By 3 they are less violent and explosive – so less likely to hit or

kick• Use name calling, pouting or scolding• Anger directed more towards object or person they hold

responsible for their frustration• Most causes temporary

– Sick, tired, uncomfortable, hungry, don’t get own way - frustrations leads to anger

• Sometimes anger is expressed as aggression• Over toys they are trying to figure out how to get along• Certain factors can cause more anger than normal

– Parents overly critical or inconsistent, has not learned self control– Make sure demands on child limited and reasonable

Tips to handling anger

• Use words– Rather than hitting or lashing out, children and adults should

try to express feeling with words• Speak calmly

– Don’t scream or yell• Take deep breaths

– Have child take a few deep breaths to calm down• Have the child rest for awhile – then discuss misbehavior

and any punishment once the child has calmed down (make sure explain what they should have done)

• Don’t respond with anger it only makes the situation worse and sets a poor example

Dealing with misbehavior

• Discussing misbehavior and punishment is easier once a child has calmed down. What are three acceptable ways of handling anger?

fear• Different at different ages

– 1 frightened of strangers– 3 frightened of the dark

• Some fears useful as they keep them from dangerous dituations• Phobia – an unexplainable and illogical fear

– 2 Most common: fear of heights and public speaking– More likely to develop in children who are shy and withdrawn– Sometimes adults pass their fears to their children (Do you have any of the same fears as

your parents?)• Separation anxiety – fear of being away from parents, familiar caregivers, or the

normal environment– 12 to 18 months when parents eave to go to work or run errand or when go to bed in a

room different than their parents– Don’t feel guilt – remember it just shows they are attached to you– Tell the child when you will be back and give them something special for safe keeping

until you return like a blanket or stuffed animal

How to deal with fears

• Offer support and understanding• Encourage children to talk about their fears• Sometimes it is best to accept the fear and

avoid trying to force the child to comfort it• Read books together about a child who

experiences fear• Make unfamiliar situations more secure• Teach the child how to control frightening

situations

Parenting skills• Managing changes in a child’s routine– Toddlers and preschoolers find a sense of security in a

predictable routine. When their routine is changed, some become anxious. Transitions fom one activity to the next are also difficult for some children this age. The following tips can be helpful.• Make time for transitions

– Warn children ahead of time of changes in activities. For example let a child know it is time to leave in five minutes. This notice helps gives them a sense of control and security

• Familiarize children with the unfamiliar– Give them time to check out new places and people. For example visit their

school a day before their first day

• Be as clear and consistent as possible– They find security in the predictability of adults reactions when the rules are

clear and caregivers respond to them consistenty

Take charge

• Providing children with predictable routines is an important parenting skill. Write a paragraph explaining how you would provide a child with a predictable bedtime routine.

jealousy

• During 2nd year (peaks about 3)• Sometimes parents are the target

– Resent love and affection between parents because they don’t understand that parents have enough love for everyone

• Sibling rivalry – the competition between brothers or sisters for parents’ affection and attention– Often when new baby born– They will try to get more attention – show off, act inappropriately,

go back to baby like behaviors (bed wetting, baby talk) because they are afraid of losing the parents love (give them more affection and reassurance not punishment)

– Many experts suggest not leaving toddler alone with new baby

How to cut down on sibling rivarly

• Make sure each child feels love and appreciation• Set aside one on one time with each child• Avoid making comments that compare one child to

another• Let the children take turns in choosing activities, such as

a game the family plays together or a movie to watch• Make it clear that you will not accept ne child tattling to

get another one in trouble• Talk to children about their jealous, how hard it can be to

have siblings, and how lucky they are to have each other

Toddlers and jealousy

• A new baby sometimes causes jealousy in a toddler. What are some ways parents can help prevent sibling rivalry?

Love and affection

• Must learn to love• As they grow it expands to include siblings,

pets and people outside the home• Loving relationships between parents or other

caregivers and children need to be strong but not smothering– A child who depends entirely on caregivers for

love has difficulty forming other relationships

Showing affection

• Young children gradually learn to show love and affection for others. Have you seen a young child try to comfort someone who seemed unhappy?

Empathy – the ability to understand how another person feels

• They learn that their actions can hurt others• They may pat a child who is unhappy• Give a stuffed animal to a friend/sibling to

help them cheer up

Individual traits

• Every child devel9ops in a unique way because of his or her individual traits. How can caregivers help children develop empathy of other people.

Emotional adjustment

• Signs that child has a healthy relationship with his or her parents:– Seeks approval and praise– Turns to parents and caregivers for comfort and help– Tells caregivers about significant events so they can

share in the joy and sorrow– Accepts limits and discipline without too much

resisitance– Also their relationship with siblings (should not be

continuously and bitterly at odds with them)

Emotional adjustment• Promote positive self-concept – how people see themselves (self

esteem is how highly you value yourself)– Positive : see themselves as good and capable– Negative : see themselves as bad or unable to do tasks– Parents strongest influence but also mastery of skills so give them a

chance to explore their world– Remember self confidence lead to positive self-concept

• Discourage negative behavior– Explore feelings

• read stories to a child or watch children’s videos together

– Acknowledge feelings• Everyone gets angry sometimes but it is not okay to hurt people (responses to

child who hits when playmate takes their toy)

– Give choices• Offer simple choices to empower them (what shirt would you like to wear) and

give them a sense of control

Giving praise

• It is important that young children have a good relationship with parents and their caregivers. Why is it important that young children receive love from parents and caregivers?

Sleep and emotional behavior• The importance of adequate sleep

– Sleep cycles• REM sleep – a sleep cycle characterized by rapid eye movement. This is a light

sleep where dreams occur• NREM sleep – a cycle of sleep in which rapid eye movement does not occur. It is

a deep sleep

– Prevent sleep deprivation• Determine a child’s best bedtime

– People need different amounts of sleep

• Limit toys in the bed– Toys signal playtime not sleep time

• Establish a bedtime routine– Follow every night: bath brush teeth, bedtime story, bed

• Keep bedtime pleasant– Talk and cuddle with the child– Try a backrub

After you read

• 1. describe the changes in emotions that occur in children between ages three and three and one-half years

• 2. explain the difference between self-concept and self-esteem

• 3. identify what separation anxiety is and at what age it typically becomes the strongest

• 4. summarize what parents can do to minimize sibling rivalry

After you read continued…

• 5. (ELS) Locate a book for young children that deals with emotional issues such as a fear of the dark or a new baby in the family. Write a paragraph evaluating the book. Do you think it would help a young child?

• 6. (science) Conduct research to learn more about sleep cycles and the differences between REM and NREM sleep. Write a report describing what you have learned. You may wish to include charts in your report.