A CLOSER LOOK AT ELABORATION FOR SONGWRITING

Elaboration

Mom: “What Did You Do Today?”

“COULD YOU ELABORATE A

LITTLE?”

Child: “Nothing much…”

What is Elaboration?

the process of adding further detail to make vague statements or ideas more vivid.

Elaboration Helps the Listener…

experience the emotion the song is communicating

understand the experience the song is communicating

visualize the people the song describes

visualize the setting the song describes

Which is more vivid?

“I’m worried”“I knew he had to go back to Iraq, and waved him off with a smile, but as the bus pulled away, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was the last time I would see that smile.”

Why be dull?

Two methods of elaboration

1. elaboration with sensory detail

2. elaboration with incidents and examples

Sensory details…

appeal to one or more of the five senses:

sight hearing smell touch taste

Revise with sensory details

Incidents and Examples

Incident: a brief account of a single event.

Example: a specific person, place, object, or event that illustrates a general statement.

Songs

communicate strong emotionsare not logical, as a formal essayoften describe an incident—a break-up, or the invention of a new dance

are made up of verses which contain examples that validate* the emotional points they are making.*validate: prove, support, confirm or legitimize

Let’s Try it Together

Invent incidents and examples which support the claims made in the “choruses” in the first column:

Vocabulary Review

Elaboration: the process of adding further detail to plain statements or ideas

Sensory Details: details that appeal to one or more of the five senses

Incident: a brief account of a single event

Example: a specific person, place, object, or even that illustrates a general statement

“Start All Over” by Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus“Start All Over”

I have to wonder if this wave’s too big to ride

Commit or not commit in such a crazy tide

It’s sooner than I thought but you called me out

I’ve lost control and there’s no doubtI’m gonna start all over

Out of the fire and into the fire againYou make me want to forget

And start all overHere I come straight out of my mind or

worseAnother chance to get burned

And start all overI’m gonna start all over

Fantastic and romantic all a big surpriseYou’ve got the warning hesitation

pushed asideIt’s sooner than I want but you caught

my heartI guess I’m ready now to start

I’m gonna start all overCHORUS

It’s so easyYou disrupt meCan’t complain

Adjust volume

Elaboration—1st Verse, “Start All Over”

What incidents and examples does the songwriter use to support the emotional tone of the song?

Are there any sensory details? Could more sensory details be added? If so,

where?

I have to wonder if this wave’s too big to rideCommit or not commit in such a crazy tide

It’s sooner than I thought but you called me outI’ve lost control and there’s no doubt

I’m gonna start all over

Elaboration—2nd verse, “Start All Over”

What sensory details does the songwriter use? Can you imagine an incident that would fit into this

verse?Fantastic and romantic all a big surprise

You’ve got the warning hesitation pushed asideIt’s sooner than I want but you caught my heart

I guess I’m ready now to startI’m gonna start all over

Choruses

Use sensory details to reinforce the emotion of the song.Can you think of any sensory details that would be good

in the choruses?Out of the fire and into the fire again

You make me want to forgetAnd start all over

Here I come straight out of my mind or worseAnother chance to get burned

And start all overI’m gonna start all over

It’s so easyYou affect me

Can’t complain

Let’s Elaborate on Miley’s Version

Choose lyrics from “Start All Over” that use sensory details, incidents, and examples.

Use these lyrics as models to help you brainstorm ideas for your own lyrics.

Lyrics from “Start All Over” My Own Lyrics That Use Sensory Details,Incidents, and Examples

Inspiration: “Out of the fire and into the fire again”

“Here I come straight out of my mind or worse”

Example: our love was a river, but now the river is dry…oh whyyyy, oh baby whyyI want to get close ,but baby, I feel the heat..I can’t get burned again

She’s your best of breed, and I’m your shelter dog… but baby it doesn’t change the fact that you treat us all like dogs!

I tear my hair…just get me off this ride!

Revision

Second, choose lyrics from “Start All Over” that are more simple and declarative (statements). Revise these lyrics by

adding sensory details, incidents, and examples. How does your revision change the emotions that are communicated by the

song?

Simple, Declarative Lyrics from “Start AllOver”

My Revision of These Lyrics that AddsSensory Details, Incidents, and Examples

Example: “You called me out” “You tore down my wall, I have no defense…”

SONGWRITING SKILL: ELABORATION

You Try It!

Goal: Original Lyrics, Using Elaboration

DIRECTIONS 1. Select lyrics that you have been working on either in this or in previous exercises. 2. Write them in the top box. Use the graphic organizer to revise your writings, first by

adding sensory details, and next by imagining an incident or example that would make the lyrics more vivid and emotionally powerful.

3. Evaluate your revised lyrics.

Review

What is Elaboration? Elaboration is the process of adding further detail to

enliven plain, declarative statements or ideas. What techniques can I use to help me elaborate?

Sensory details Incidents and examples

Elaboration helps the listener… experience the emotion the song is communicating understand the experience the song is communicating visualize the people the song describes visualize the setting the song describes

“Start All Over” video (YouTube)

Thank you very much!

by Kathleen Norbutt

click