Effective academic writing - Macquarie University
Transcript of Effective academic writing - Macquarie University
Warm up exercise guidelines
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COPYRIGHT © LEARNING & TEACHING CENTRE
I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP 2015
organise yourselves into groups of 3 or 4
read the text that you have been allocated
as a group decide what type of text you have been given
brainstorm the features of your text
check the textual features around the room and collect
the ones that best describe the features of your text
Warm up article (1)
4 COPYRIGHT © LEARNING & TEACHING CENTRE
I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP 2015
In a recent article published by The Guardian, writer Jason Wilson denounces Pete Evans’ Paleo diet by saying, “Paleo isn’t
a fad, it’s a cult that selectively denies the modern world.”
While Wilson’s judgement is too harsh, in my opinion, he does make a very good point. Why has modernity suddenly been
seized by an ideology that prides itself on regression?
The philosophical spine of paleo is that humanity’s diet reached optimum nutritional value during the Paleolithic
period. It dictates that we must refrain from eating anything unavailable or evaded by Palaeolitic man, such as grains and
refined sugar.
Let’s ignore the fact that the era in question sprawled across many centuries and cannot be compartmentalized into strict
dietary guidelines.
A sad reality, however, is that obesity has become the suicidal pandemic of our times. Even worse, obesity has boomed in the
last forty years and shows no signs of declaration.
So if ‘fad diets’ do deter obesity are they really that damaging? And is paleo really a fad diet or a sustainable lifestyle?
I spoke with Frank Marino, Professor of Exercise Physiology at CSU and according to him,“What paleo does is remove all
the processed carbohydrates from a diet and replaces them with natural food that includes a higher fat content.”
I guess this means that when you enter Woolies, you should only shop in the fruit and vegetables, meat counter, and dairy
shelves. The rest of the shop will kill you very slowly.
But, Marino adds “as a cure-all, a panacea, it’s (the paleo) is a recipe for disaster.”
Extract adapted from: Jack Cameron Stanton http://grapeshotmq.com.au/2015/06
We’re not birds!
Warm up article (2)
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COPYRIGHT © LEARNING & TEACHING
CENTRE I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP
2015
Evolutionary nutrition is a relatively straightforward concept, based simply on the premise
that the human body has adapted to function best on the diet eaten in the Paleolithic era.
The thrifty gene theory (or thrifty gene hypothesis) is somewhat more complex. It
suggests that feast-or-famine conditions during human evolutionary development
naturally selected for people whose bodies were efficient in their use of food calories
(those who could store excess energy as body fat for later use). Unfortunately, in
contemporary conditions of constant dietary abundance, the so-called “thrifty gene”
predisposes people to diabetes and obesity. This dual investment in human evolutionary
origins and genetic design as the guiding principles of proper nutrition mandates close
attention to Paleolithic or “primitive” diet, which therefore functions as the ultimate
blueprint for contemporary low-carbohydrate regimes (Knight, 2005, 2006, 2008).
Both evolutionary nutrition and the thrifty gene theory are the subject of intense research
and debate outside the context of low-carbohydrate dieting. At their most extreme,
evolutionary nutritionists advocate a strict “Paleo” diet, excluding virtually all post-
agricultural foods. Their maxim is “could I eat this if I were naked with a sharp stick on the
savanna?” (Audette, 1999 p.100). However, evolutionary nutrition also encompasses
less extreme low-carbohydrate regimes. All draw on the evolutionary nutrition model,
often in combination with the thrifty gene theory. Sears (1995) argues that the Paleolithic
diet functions as a kind of “test case” for human health.
Extract adapted from: Christine Knight, 2011, ‘“Most people are simply not designed to eat pasta”:
evolutionary explanations for obesity in the low-carbohydrate diet movement’, Public Understanding of Science, 20(5) 706-719
Text features
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Campus student newsletter Journal article
short/ underdeveloped paragraphs developed paragraphs
rhetorical questions statements
sentences linked with conjunctions
(and, …)
sentences linked through vocabulary
and linking words
emotive language neutral language
contractions full forms
personal pronouns (I, we, you) impersonal (it, they)
generalisations evidence-based (in-text citations)
Overview of this workshop
7 COPYRIGHT © LEARNING & TEACHING
CENTRE I LEARNING SKILLS GROUP 2015
Five features of
academic writing
• formal
• structured
• evidence-based
• critical
• discipline-specific
Academic writing is…formal
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Campus student newsletter Journal article
short/ underdeveloped paragraphs developed paragraphs
rhetorical questions statements
sentences linked with conjunctions
(and, …)
sentences linked through
vocabulary and linking words
emotive, personal language neutral, abstract language
contractions full forms
personal pronouns (I, we, you) impersonal (it, they)
generalisations evidence-based (in-text citations)
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Formal writing: follows
conventions
Some Conventions Examples
Contractions it’s it is
Abbreviations K’s Kilos
Conjunctions at the start of sentences
And it’s pretty convenient It is also…
Rhetorical questions
So what’s the best way to exercise? Research generally agrees that walking is the best form of exercise.
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For some assignments and some disciplines, your topic is not about personal
experience, so use impersonal it-he-she-they rather than I-you-we.
Formal writing: Doesn’t always
use I-you-we
http://www.cmaconsult.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Regional-
Personality.jpg
https://cdn-
media.threadless.com/submissions_wm/5
78507-
cb4a13659a7fe797437fe621cb971c62.jpg
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Replace general words and phrases (stuff, thing,
make, get, do) with words that are discipline-
specific/ technical. This shows
• you are thinking about/ learning about the topic
• how much you understand about the concepts
WARNING:
1. Think about who your reader will be. If your assignment is to explain a
concept to a client (who is not an expert) you will need to use everyday
vocabulary that they understand.
2. If you don’t understand a word or a term, DON’T USE IT. Your reader will
know!
Formal writing: uses discipline-
specific/ technical terms
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Overused words Specific words
interesting relevant, useful tool
very (statistic)
really, just -
bad vague, ineffective
good practical, relevant, useful…
something, thing theory, question…
everybody students, residents, participants…
? evolutionary nutrition model
fat obesity
idea hypothesis, theory
Formal writing: uses discipline-
specific terms
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People who walk a lot find it
easier to move their joints
easily in different ways.
People who walk a lot have
better flexibility.
Regular walking increases
flexibility.
Formal writing: Often focuses on
abstract ideas
http://www.gmchospital.com/newsletter/081
1/images/walking1.jpg
Formal writing
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So what’s the best way to exercise? Walking is the
#1 activity if you want to get healthy. It’s cheap,
and you don’t have to have any special gear to do
it. And it’s pretty convenient, since people can
make time whenever and where ever it suits them
to. For me, the pluses are that walking helps drop
the K’s and makes it easier to run for a bus.
ACTIVITY
Rewrite the example paragraph using a more formal style
Formal writing
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Walking is the most effective outdoor activity for
reaching recommended physical activity targets. It
is a natural activity, which is inexpensive and
requires no special skills or equipment. It is also
convenient and can be routinely incorporated into
daily lifestyles. Walking increases aerobic
performance, and helps prevent cardiovascular
disease and obesity.
ACTIVITY: SAMPLE ANSWER
Based on Barton, J., Hine, R. & Pretty, J. (2009) The health benefits of walking in greenspaces of high natural and heritage value, Journal of Integrative Environmental Sciences, 6:4, 261-278, DOI: 10.1080/19438150903378425
2. Effective academic writing is…
structured
How would you structure
the following?
• Letter
• Blog
• Essay
• Job application
• Business report
Different
genres have
specific
‘rules’ or
patterns of
writing
…Structured
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A. In the UK, the distance walked per year by each individual has fallen
from 410 km year in 1975–76 to 323 km year in 2006.
B. These low levels of walking contribute to the overall decrease in
physical activity, in turn leading to a higher incidence of obesity and
diabetes.
C. Jobs themselves have become less physical, people are more likely
to take the lift than walk the stairs, and adults and children are more
likely to travel to work or school by car than to walk or bicycle.
D. One serious concern in the UK is the falling levels of physical
activity.
E. Similarly, the percentage of children aged 5–10 years walking to
school has decreased by 15% from 67% during 1985–1986 to 52% in
2006.
ACTIVITY: PUT THE SENTENCES IN ORDER
Based on Barton, J., Hine, R. & Pretty, J. (2009) The health benefits of walking in greenspaces of high natural and heritage value, Journal of Integrative Environmental Sciences, 6:4, 261-278, DOI: 10.1080/19438150903378425
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D. One serious concern in the UK is the falling levels of physical
activity. C. Jobs themselves have become less physical, people are
more likely to take the lift than walk the stairs, and adults and
children are more likely to travel to work or school by car than to walk
or bicycle. A. In the UK, the distance walked per year by each
individual has fallen from 410 km year in 1975–76 to 323 km year in
2006. E. Similarly, the percentage of children aged 5–10 years
walking to school has decreased by 15% from 67% during 1985–1986
to 52% in 2006. B. These low levels of walking contribute to the overall
decrease in physical activity, in turn leading to a higher incidence of
obesity and diabetes.
ANSWERS
Based on Barton, J., Hine, R. & Pretty, J. (2009) The health benefits of walking in greenspaces of high natural and heritage value, Journal of Integrative Environmental Sciences, 6:4, 261-278, DOI: 10.1080/19438150903378425
Paragraph sequencing activity
…structured
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Function Linking word/signpost
To introduce an additional idea And, another, also, too, moreover,
furthermore, as well as, additionally
Opposite idea
Example
Restatement or explanation
Conclusion or summary
Chronological order
Order of importance
Result or effect
Comparison
Concession
LINKING WORDS
…structured
21 OFFICE I FACULTY I DEPARTMENT
Function Linking word/signpost
To introduce an additional idea And, another, also, too, moreover, furthermore,
as well as, additionally
Opposite idea In contrast, contrastingly, nonetheless
nevertheless
Example For example, exemplified, for instance,
highlighted, demonstrated, evidenced by
Restatement or explanation Indeed
Conclusion or summary In conclusion/summary, to conclude
Chronological order First of all, firstly, after that, since then, finally
Order of importance Above all, significantly, more importantly, most
importantly
Result or effect Accordingly, as a result, thus, hence,
therefore, it follows that
Comparison Similarly, likewise, both, also
Concession Despite, in spite of, though/although, however,
whereas
LINKING WORDS- COMPLETE
…structured
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Read the following paragraph and choose words/ phrases to show how the
ideas in the paragraph link to each other
There are, _________, limitations to this study. ________, the study
population was only representative of the visitors questioned on the
days surveyed. _________ findings should be treated with caution
when applying them to the general population. _________, _________
most participants reported improvement to self-esteem and mood, this
effect was fairly small. The sampling method may ________ have led
to some bias, _________ the study only included those people
choosing to visit the sites and did not include the views of those who
chose not to visit. ________, other factors _______ the weather,
temperature, amount of vegetation, or colours may all affect the
experience.
PARAGRAPH ACTIVITY
Based on Barton, J., Hine, R. & Pretty, J. (2009) The health benefits of walking in greenspaces of high natural and heritage value, Journal of Integrative Environmental Sciences, 6:4, 261-278, DOI: 10.1080/19438150903378425
…structured
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Read the following paragraph and choose words/ phrases to show how the
ideas in the paragraph link to each other
There are, __however_, limitations to this study. __First__, the study
population was only representative of the visitors questioned on the
days surveyed. _Therefore, findings should be treated with caution
when applying them to the general population. _Secondly, _although_
most participants reported improvement to self-esteem and mood, this
effect was fairly small. The sampling method may ___also__ have led to
some bias, __because_ the study only included those people choosing
to visit the sites and did not include the views of those who chose not to
visit. _Finally_, other factors _such as_ the weather, temperature,
amount of vegetation, or colours may all affect the experience.
PARAGRAPH ACTIVITY- ANSWERS
Based on Barton, J., Hine, R. & Pretty, J. (2009) The health benefits of walking in greenspaces of high natural and heritage value, Journal of Integrative Environmental Sciences, 6:4, 261-278, DOI: 10.1080/19438150903378425
Critical: A word that’s everywhere!
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The word critical comes from the Latin root criticus.
It has many meanings and uses at university.
Academic writing is
critical
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In academic writing, the word critical involves:
CRITICAL
Examining carefully
Evaluating carefully
Judging carefully
The importance of critical thinking in writing (see StudyWISE)
Descriptive Writing Critical Analytical Writing
States what happened Identifies the significance of what happened
States or outlines features,
characteristics, or
components
Evaluates the importance of features and
components (e.g. strengths and
weaknesses)
Explains what a theory
says Shows why the theory is relevant or suitable
Describes the research
methods used
Decides if the research methods used are
appropriate and why
What does critical writing involve?
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Writing critically requires:
1. Approaching information independently and reflectively.
What does critical writing involve?
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Writing critically requires:
2. Thinking logically, objectively and without bias.
What does critical writing involve?
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Writing critically requires:
3. Interpreting and evaluating authoritative evidence.
What does critical writing involve?
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Writing critically requires:
4. Building coherent and substantiated arguments.
What does critical writing involve?
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Writing critically requires:
5. Humility, perseverance and multiple drafts.
Academic writing is
critical
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This means answering the question
For example: flickr.com
why is this debate important ?
why is this concept significant /flawed/ debatable?
why is this methodology appropriate?
Why is this reading controversial / valid / relevant ?
why are these findings valuable / contested ?
Critical writing activity
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Read the extracts in your handout and:
• Underline the evidence provided in each extract.
• Decide whether or not the evidence is convincing.
• You should consider:
o the type of evidence used
o if the evidence is relevant
o if the evidence relies on generalisations
o if the evidence relies on assumptions
o if the evidence is biased.
Academic writing is
evidence-based
What is not academic in these statements from student essays?
It is obvious that children with learning difficulties should be integrated in regular classrooms. Americans do not travel much, so none of them are very aware of the world outside their country’s borders. The oil crisis was caused by OPEC’s actions.
Academic writing is
cautious
It is obvious that children with learning difficulties should be integrated in regular classrooms. Americans do not travel much, so none of them are very aware of the world outside their country’s borders. Research has proved that the oil crisis was caused by OPEC’s actions.
Instead: Several studies indicate that when children with learning difficulties are integrated into regular classrooms, their learning outcomes tend to be better (Li, 2009; Jones, 2012; Smith, 2012).
Instead: Americans travel outside their borders significantly less than Europeans, according to Camber (2012). This may result in less awareness of other cultures.
Instead: Flabitz, Tang & Palgrave’s study (2005) suggests that OPEC’s actions probably contributed to the oil crisis.
may
might
could
So…we use words that express
uncertainty & caution
modal verbs
sometimes
often
frequently
adverbs of
time
possibly
probably
other
adverbs
tend do
appear to
seem to
introductory
verbs
suggest
indicate
reporting
verbs
some
likely
possible adjectives
Academic writing is
supported by citations
At the end of a sentence
Using a reporting phrase
Using a reporting verb
Instead: Several studies indicate that when children with learning difficulties are integrated into regular classrooms, their learning outcomes tend to be better (Li, 2009; Jones, 2012; Smith, 2012).
Instead: Americans travel outside their borders significantly less than Europeans, according to Camber (2012). This may result in less awareness of other cultures.
Instead: Flabitz, Tang & Palgrave’s study (2005) suggests that OPEC’s actions probably contributed to the oil.
When you use the ideas of others…
Use a direct quote (enclose the writer’s words in quotation marks)
Which technique do you
think is most common?
Example paraphrase
Original text
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research.
Paraphrase Redman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce risk and waste in medical services is well supported by research. Summary The necessary research into health needs to guide a rational process of prioritisation is lacking (Redman, 2015).
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved from
https://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
What stayed the same?
Original text
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research.
Paraphrase Redman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce risk and waste in health services is well supported by research.
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved from
https://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
Original text
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research..
What stayed the same?
Paraphrase Redman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide rational decision-making and reduce risk and waste in health services is well supported by research.
health
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved from
https://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
data health services
research
health
health services
data
research
What vocabulary changed?
Original text
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research.
Paraphrase Redman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce risk and waste in health services is well supported by research.
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved from
https://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
What vocabulary changed?
Original text
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research.
Paraphrase Redman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce risk and waste in health services is well supported by research.
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved from
https://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
priorities
prioritise
improved
objectively
reduce
subjective
What vocabulary changed?
Original text
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions
. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their
through research.
Paraphrase Redman (2015) argues that,
, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce
in health services is well supported by research.
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved from
https://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
priorities
prioritise
improved
objectively
reduce
subjective
What about sentence structure?
Two sentences
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research.
One sentence, three clauses Redman (2015) argues that, due to the shortage of data, it is not possible to objectively prioritise health needs, in spite of the fact that the need for such data to guide decision-making and reduce risk and waste in health services is well supported by research.
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved from
https://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
Summarising – another technique
Original text
Any list of health priorities will be long and subjective because the information needed for rational decisions is not available. There is good data that health services can be significantly improved in their efficiency and safety through research.
Summary The research into health needs required to guide a rational process of prioritisation is lacking (Redman, 2015).
Redman, S. (2015). ‘Research priority: make Australia’s health system efficient, equitable and integrated’. The Conversation, July 8, 2015. Retrieved from
https://theconversation.com/research-priority-make-australias-health-system-efficient-equitable-and-integrated-43547
You try now!
Original text:
College students with later class start times slept longer, experienced less daytime sleepiness, and were less likely to miss class. The benefits of taking later classes did not extend to academic performance, however; grades were somewhat lower in students with predominantly late class schedules. Onyper, P., Thacher, P.V., Gilbert, J.W. & Gradess, S.G.. (2012). ‘Class start times, sleep and academic performance in college: A path analysis. Chronobiology International, 29(3), pp 227-251.
Log in to Socrative and post a paraphrase. www.socrative.com Room number: SLIFETT9 Your answers will show on screen but they are anonymous.
You try now!
Original text:
College students with later class start times slept longer, experienced less daytime sleepiness, and were less likely to miss class. The benefits of taking later classes did not extend to academic performance, however; grades were somewhat lower in students with predominantly late class schedules. Onyper, P., Thacher, P.V., Gilbert, J.W. & Gradess, S.G.. (2012). ‘Class start times, sleep and academic performance in college: A path analysis. Chronobiology International, 29(3), pp 227-251.
Possible paraphrase: Onyper et al. (2012) found that when students enrolled in classes that started later, they had lengthier periods of sleep, fewer absences and less drowsiness during the day. Nevertheless, their academic results were not as good.
Possible summary: Students enrolling in later classes show increased attendance and alertness but decreased grades.
A few tips for paraphrasing
Sources http://owll.massey.ac.nz/referencing/paraphrasing-techniques.php http://learningcommons.sfu.ca/sites/default/files/179/techniquesforparaphrasing.pdf
• Change a word from one part of speech to another (for example, from noun phrase to verb phrase)
• Use synonyms (e.g. strong – powerful) for everyday words
• Do not change the key words/terminology
• Change the word order, sentence structure and order of sentences
• Use different connecting words than in the original text
• Make sure you include in-text citation of sources
Academic Integrity Module
for Students
• Acceptable and unacceptable academic practices
• How to properly acknowledge sources and avoid plagiarism
Online resource
Academic writing is
discipline-specific
• Different types of texts are used in different disciplines (e.g. business report in finance, economics and accounting, case studies, laboratory reports in science, essays in arts and other disciplines).
• Go to StudyWISE for help with different texts.
• Read texts in your area.