Editing Project 1

download Editing Project 1

of 4

Transcript of Editing Project 1

  • 7/24/2019 Editing Project 1

    1/4

    1

    Good day. I would first like to make it clear that the library website has changed. The

    information on the document Libguide is no longer accurate. I will make edits as if the library

    database remained unchanged. Please keep this in mind for future reference. There are several

    issues that need to be addressed. The libguide is not organized in a way that makes logical sense.

    There are several errors that need to be addressed, as well as information that is not portrayed in

    a clear manner. It is clear that the composers wished to create a universally simple program. Indoing this, the desire for simplicity created complexity. I do have some questions to get the most

    out of this editing process:

    What aspects of the document are you looking to strengthen?

    What feel do you want the document to have?

    What is the intention of a menu at the top and a menu down the side?

    My team will be communicating via email. We will all analyze your website. I will then put

    everything into a single document, organize it, and give it a single voice for readability. My

    document will be sent out to my co-editors to ensure that the team agrees on all of the critiques.

    The following information is the critiques my team wishes to convey to you.

    DesignOn the home page, ENC3250 should be defined in the welcome paragraph. It does have

    both course name and course number listed at the top, but the design of the website does not

    draw attention to this. It is partially because the placement that has both name and number are

    close to the menu. Students will glance over it believing it is part of the menu. Among the

    libguides target audience are communities whose accessibility to the information depends on the

    documents ability to cater to their needs. The Welcome and Introduction tabs create confusion

    for users,especially non-native English speakers. The Welcome tab has Andrew Todd listed as

    the librarian assigned to assist ENC 3250. Michael Furlongs name is listed without a

    description, along with an irrelevant picture of Doctor Who. This leaves the user unsure of who

    Michael Furlong is. This is confusing for native English speakers, and more so for the non-nativeEnglish speakers. In order to address this problem, consolidate the Welcome and

    Introduction tabs into one tab, and provide a distinction between Todd and Furlong. Users with

    learning disorders such as dyslexia could find the organization of tabs horizontally, across the

    top of the document confusing. In order to remedy this issue, reorganize the tabs along the left

    side of the document to better reflect the tabs across the top. Another community to consider is

    individuals with learnings disorders such as ADD and ADHD. These groups find wordiness to be

    a source of anxiety. Cutting back and consolidating some of the wording on all tabs could save

    members of the audience from experiencing frustration and feeling discouraged.

    AmbiguityThere are several issues with the ambiguity throughout the site. These include: sentencestructure, styles in writing, practices/answers, as well as Internet/World Wide Web.Some of the

    sentence structure throughout the document involves sentences being too short with no further

    explanation to justify the instructions to the user. To clarify these moments, lengthen the

    sentences so that each sentence conveys a single, coherent thought. There are instances in which

    the author(s) of the document must be consulted to clarify the intentions behind certain phrasing.

    Some of the sections require the reader to remember information from previous sections, such as

  • 7/24/2019 Editing Project 1

    2/4

    a section of the Internet tab that encourages users to go see what help is available to them, but

    does not clarify where they should go to get that help, which can be found under the Searching

    tab.This is beneficial in a setting in which the reader is being evaluated as he or she reads,

    however, this is not the case. The purpose of each tab is to teach the user about some of the

    confusing aspects of online research. This could be fixed by pulling brief descriptions of terms or

    ideas into the sections in which they are mentioned. There is little consistency in the style ofwriting in the practice/answers. There are also issues of interpretation in some of the writing.

    Please see below:

    -Practice exercise 1

    The first sentence on the exercise is :

    On the left hand side of the page, select OneSearchand click onAdvanced Search

    The word then should come after one search and. The word then implies a kind of

    chronological order.

    Further down the page, the change in text size in reference to video game effects is deceiving.

    Because the text is smaller, it makes the reader feel like that section it is unimportant.

    -Pratice exercise 2

    The tone needs to be changed at the beginning. The first two sentences could be combined

    into How to use a citation to find the full text. This is important because even though it is

    giving directions, tone is important. Having a section start with You have a citation may

    help the non-native speaker, but feels tacky to the native speaker.

    -Problems with answers:

    In practice 3/4 answers are highlighted. They are not in the other two. This looks tacky to thefluent reader, but implies differences in importance to the non-native reader. The bigger issue in

    the answers is the facts need to be double checked. Here is an example:

    Practice 4 has the following information:

    George Washington was the 35th President of the United States. You do not need to cite

    a source when you use this in a paper.

    a. True

    This information is just not true. There cannot be any incorrect information regardless of theintention. This includes putting things in for either joking or ironic purposes. It is showing that

    common knowledge does not need to be cited, which is true. G. Washington was not the 35th

    president.

  • 7/24/2019 Editing Project 1

    3/4

    Internet/World Wide Web

    Internet:

    There is not a clear distinction between what the internet does and what its function is. As

    defined in the Internet tab, the Internet is a network of networks that connects millions of

    computers together. This definition is very broad. Unlike the definition that is defined in the

    Terminology tab, the Internet can be defined as A Worldwide interconnected network of

    computers then more information about the function of the Internet could be explained as a

    network of networks that connects millions of computers together. This includes email, chat,

    instant messaging, and file transfers, which are information that is communicated over the

    Internet via a variety of languages, known as protocols.

    Under the Internet tab, the phrase, written as a response to the query Where Should I Go

    to Get More Help does not tell the reader where to go to get more help. The word HELP is

    mentioned, but it is unclear as to why it is in all-caps, and does not further expand upon where to

    check for provided help. Either add information of where to go, add in a direct link to an

    outside source, or take it out completely. It is also important to note that different documents

    have different rules for searching. see the following sample:

    For example, URLs and database information (such as "Retrieved from Academic Search

    Premier Database or Retrieved from http://ezproxy.net.ucf.edu/login?URL=http://

    search.ebscohost.com") is not necessary for APA (6th ed.) for journal articles found in

    subscription databases like CINAHL. (Note: This does not apply to regular websites, for which

    you still would need the list the URL.).

    Citing tab, Citing from EbscoHOST sub-tab.

    This phrasing relies heavily on the users prior knowledge and ability to retain information stated

    in the libguide. Additionally, the document resorts to an unfamiliar acronym (CINAHL) that

    distracts from the instructions being given. Expanding the name of the subscription databasebeing mentioned will eliminate user confusion and clarify the documents intention.

    World Wide Web:

    There are multiple definitions used for the term World Wide Web (WWW). As defined in

    the Internet tab, the WWW is just one of the services deployed on the internet, using specific

    protocols (Like http or hypertext transfer protocol). This defined term appears broad to the

    reader, unlike the narrower definition defined in the Terminology tab. To clarify the difference

    between the World Wide Web and the Internet, combine all information in the Internet and

    Terminology tabs, and apply a single definition with a single example of functionality will fix

    this confusion. It could be displayed like the following text:

    The World Wide Web (WWW) is a hypertext system for finding and accessing information on

    the internet. WWW uses specific protocols (http or hypertext transfer protocol) and is made up of

    web servers. Due to this example, web servers should be added to the Terminology tab.

    Jargon is used, but is clearly defined and related to the subject. An example is the acronym

    URL is not explained within the Internet tab. This causes confusion if the reader does not have

    prior knowledge of the term. Terms that should be included in the Libguides Terminology tab

  • 7/24/2019 Editing Project 1

    4/4

    are: paraphrasing and plagiarism. Both terms are located within the Citing tab. Appearances in

    both tabs can help with the understanding of the sections. Repetition of the terms can create

    memory of definitions as well.

    StructureThe structure is consistent with functionality, but not in aesthetics and tone. Practices 1 and2 have titles, 3 and 4 do not. Each page has a different voice. Practice 1 begins with a simple

    command. Practice 2 begins with a declarative sentence. Practice 3 is the ideal design. The first

    sentence begins with To access databases [];he word to has a softer appeal than the direct

    commands. As stated before, the intended audience may not be familiar with databases; therefore

    a soft tone will help them from being intimidated. Another thing to address is that all four

    practices start at different points in the searching process. Practice 1 only gives a URL, Practice 2

    assumes that the individual is already in the database, Practices 3 and 4 only have links to other

    sources.