Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics, Class 9: From the Lab to the Real World
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Dynamics Interpersonal Ed Batista Winter 2016 CLASS 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD
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Transcript of Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics, Class 9: From the Lab to the Real World
Dynamics InterpersonalEd BatistaWinter 2016CLASS 9: FROM THE LAB TO THE REAL WORLD
Photo by Martin Meredith [link]
Vulnerabilityhangover
VulnerabilityhangoverThe morning after the [2010 TED] talk, I woke up with one of the worst vulnerability hangovers of my life… What did I do? 500 people officially think I’m crazy & it totally sucks.
~Brené Brown
If that’s nottherapy, what is it?
Comfort withdiscomfortDisclosures aren’t intended to heal or solveGreater capacity to share & witness Very real-world problem
Discuss with your
How you helpedWhat I’m thankful forWhat I learned about support
support group
DebriefWhat did you learn?How might this apply in the real world?
Learning & stress
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Safety, trust,
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
intimacy
CONTEXT Learning,
Awareness,& Behavioral
Change
Experimentation,Risk-Taking,
& Vulnerability
Safety, Trust, Intimacy
Initial Conditions
Emotions areattention magnets
Photo by Garrett Mace [link]
Social identityContinuum of social behavior IntergroupInterpersonal
It’s usually both
Photo by Anne Worner [link]
FeedbackStressfulConfusingUnwelcome
It’s not like this…
It’s like this
Photo by Unknown. Concept by Kevin Martin.
3 triggers
Photo by Wendy [link]
TruthRelationshipIdentity
The netMe You
Yourrespons
e
Mybehavi
orMyintention
5 levels1: Ritual2: Extended Ritual3: Content4: Feelings About Content
5: Feelings About Each Other
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
A soft start
Photo by Oakley Originals [link]
Like this
Begin with authentic positive intentEmphasize mutual goals
A soft start
Connections
Photo by Hadley Paul Garland [link]
ConnectionsA bid can be a question, a gesture, a look, a touch—any single expression that says, “I want to feel connected to you.”
~John Gottman
StatusCertaintyAutonomyRelatednessFairness
SCARF model
Stereotype threat
Photo by Renato Ganoza
Microaggressions
Photo by Igor Spasic [link]
The balcony &
Photo by Richard Leeming [link]
the dance floor
Dissecting a
Photo by Sharon Mollerus [link]
group
EQ and groupsMutual trustGroup identity (feeling of belonging)Group efficacy (belief in value of the team)Strongly affected by group EQ
EQ and groupsEmotional awarenessEmotion regulation (≠ suppression)Inward (one’s own emotions)Outward (others’ emotions)
Kantor’s 4 players
Photo by Thomas Galvez [link]
Kantor’s 4 playersMover initiates
Follower supportsOpposer challengesBystander observes
Vulnerability
Pfeffer & Cuddy
CuddyInfluence = warmth + strength(Establish warmth first)
…and Top Quartile in Leadership
Effectiveness
Bottom Quartile in Likeability…
1 in 2000
PfefferAmbitionEnergyFocusSelf-knowledgeConfidenceEmpathy for othersCapacity to tolerate conflict
What is support?
Photo by Peter Dutton [link] Photo by Resolute Support Media [link] Photo by Drew [link]
Consciousness
Competence
1
2 3
4
Act
Reflect
Conceptualize
PlanPrepare & develop a
future course of action.
Identify principles that help explain the results & update old theories.
Assess my behavior & its consequences.
Experientiallearning
Form groups of 6Each group gets a whiteboard
What we’ve learned & how we’ll apply it
Overused
Photo by Lauren Miller [link]
strengths
Dynamics InterpersonalFor more:www.edbatista.com/interpersonal-dynamics.html
