Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 2: COMMUNICATION
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Transcript of Ed Batista, Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) @StanfordBiz, Class 2: COMMUNICATION
Interpersonal
Photo by Melissa Wiese [link]
Ed BatistaClass 2:COMMUNICATION
Dynamics
First 2 hours here • Announce T-groups • Exercises with 3 partners • Next stepsLast hour & tonight in T-group
Today’s agenda
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I will…Give you my bestWelcome inputEnd on time
What else would be helpful for you?
Workingagreements
WorkingagreementsI ask you to…
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WorkingagreementsI ask you to…Start on time
WorkingI ask you to…Challenge yourself
agreements
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WorkingI ask you to…Minimizedistractions
agreements
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WorkingI ask you to…Respectconfidentiality
agreements
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WorkingI ask you to…Start on timeChallenge yourselfMinimize distractionsRespect confidentiality
Can we all commit to this?
agreements
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The netBradford & HuckabayHow can we improve feedback?How can we minimize defensiveness?
The netMe You
Yourrespons
e
Mybehavi
orMyintention
What I knowMe
Myintention
Mybehavi
or
What I don’tYou
Yourrespons
e
What you know
You
Yourrespons
e
Mybehavi
or
Me
What you don’t
Myintention
Use the modelTo stay on your side of the Net…Focus on observed behaviorDisclose your responseWhen you do [X], I feel [Y].
Language police“I know this is over the Net, but…”
Language policeWhat that really means:
“This may make you defensive & I don’t care…”
Language policeAlso, a quirk of English…
When we say, “I feel like…” or “I feel that…” what follows is not an emotion but an opinion or belief
Language police“I feel like you’re disrepectful…”
Over the NetConjecture about their inner stateMore likely to provoke defensiveness
Language police“I feel disrepected…”
Not over the Net Disclosure about my inner stateLess likely to provoke defensiveness
With your partnerWhat does this metaphor mean to me?
When do people cross my Net?When do I cross theirs?
Freeing & binding
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effects
Freeing & bindingHabitual forms of response
Some increase autonomy & equalityOthers constrain & create differentiation
effects
With your partnerWhat freeing & binding effects do I
employ?How do I help others feel autonomous?How do I constrain them?
Connections
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ConnectionsJohn GottmanHow do we connect with each other?What happens when we fail to connect?
ConnectionsA bid can be a question, a gesture, a look, a touch—any single expression that says, “I want to feel connected to you.”
~John Gottman
Gottman &gender
Gottman &gender
Gottman &gender
Culture &communication
Culture &Erin Meyer & Geert HofstedeHow do cultures communicate?A manifestation of social identity
communication
An exercise
With your group, stand behind a row of cones
An exercise
On each dimension of communicationlocate yourself along the continuum
& pay attention to your partner
Communication
Low-ContextPrecise, simple,clear, repetitive& overt messages.
styleHigh-Context
Complex, nuanced,multi-layered,
unspoken& implied messages.
Evaluation style
DirectFrank, blunt & candid.Individuals may becriticized in a group.
IndirectSubtle & diplomatic.
Criticism is givenonly in private.
DisagreementstyleConfrontationalOpen debate is goodfor the team & doesn’timpact relationships.
Conflict-AverseOpen disagreement
disrupts the team& hurts
relationships.
Persuasive style
PracticalStart with opinions &facts. Add concepts tojustify conclusions.
ConceptualStart with
underlyingprinciples. Add facts
to justify theories.
Source of trust
Task AccomplishmentRelationships begin &end quickly, based onpractical needs.
Personal Relationships
Relationships evolveover time, based on
personal networks
How are our styles similar?How are our styles different?How does this reflect our social identities?How might any of this show up in our T-group?
Discuss withyour partner
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Learning goalsClarity for self & others
Escalation of commitmentVery important in this course
Be prepared for them to evolve
Learning goalsYour first name1.
2.
3.
Go to a flipchart padWrite LARGE & LEGIBLY
Walk around & see what others have writtenConsider how your goals might continue to evolve
Learning goals
Next steps
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Next stepsT-group until 5:50pm & tonight*Week 2 Post-Group Assignment due Thurs @ NoonWeek 3 Readings & Class Notes on CanvasWeek 3 Pre-Class Assignment due Mon @ NoonNext class Tues Jan 24, 3pm here
T-group timesUntil 5:50pm & 7-10pm*Group 1 (Don & Lela): M102Group 2 (Tuquynh & Rich): M107Group 3 (Mark & Sue): M110
& rooms
T-group tasksPick an evening time: 3-hour block, 6:30-10:30pmDon’t forget to bring your learning goalsAgree on some group norms
Group normsSome I impose, some you will chooseThe norms we discuss are explicitBut many norms go unstatedMake the implicit explicit
Norms I imposeDon’t continue T-group work outside
of groupNo alcohol in T-group, everFirst names in assignmentsBaseline confidentiality
Norms you willWait for latecomers?OK to eat in T-group?OK to take notes in T-group?Further confidentiality norms?
choose
ConfidentialityThere is no perfect set of normsIf you seek perfection, you’ll get stuckBut if you rush, you’ll miss someone’s anxietyBear in mind: Safety, trust, intimacy
Your FacilitatorsThey will not dictate your norms
They will have opinions, like any member
Off to T-group
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Group 1 (Don & Lela): M102
Group 2 (Tuquynh & Rich): M107
Group 3 (Mark & Sue): M110
Dynamics InterpersonalFor more:www.edbatista.com/interpersonal-dynamics.html
