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COMMUNICATION SKILLSPr. Dan Abuya

Chaplain- University of Nairobi SDA Church

What is Communication?

• What does it mean to you?

• The process of communication is what allows us to interact with other people; without it, we would be unable to share knowledge or experiences with anything outside of ourselves. Common forms of communication include speaking, writing, gestures, touch and broadcasting.

• Wikipedia definition

You are a person of privilege. You have You are a person of privilege. You have been called to a leadership position in your been called to a leadership position in your church.church.You have been selected because you have You have been selected because you have priceless treasure stored in your mind! priceless treasure stored in your mind! Hidden in yourHidden in yourheart is the key that can unlock the heart is the key that can unlock the mystery of eternal life. Many people all mystery of eternal life. Many people all around you livearound you livedespairing lives because they don’t know despairing lives because they don’t know what you know. They desperately need to what you know. They desperately need to hear whathear whatyou have learned about Jesus, the Savior of you have learned about Jesus, the Savior of the world. They long for words fitly spoken the world. They long for words fitly spoken that arethat arelike apples of gold in pictures of silver like apples of gold in pictures of silver (Proverbs 25:11).(Proverbs 25:11).

More attention should be given to More attention should be given to the culture of the voice. We may the culture of the voice. We may have knowledge, but unless we have knowledge, but unless we know how to use the voice know how to use the voice correctly, our work will be a failure. correctly, our work will be a failure. Unless we can clothe our ideas in Unless we can clothe our ideas in appropriate language, of what avail appropriate language, of what avail is our education? Knowledge will is our education? Knowledge will be of little advantage to us unless be of little advantage to us unless we cultivate the talent of speech; we cultivate the talent of speech; but it is a wonderful power when but it is a wonderful power when combined with the ability to speak combined with the ability to speak wise, helpful words, and to speak wise, helpful words, and to speak them in a way that will command them in a way that will command attention.--Testimonies, vol. 6, p. attention.--Testimonies, vol. 6, p. 380.380.

Young men and young Young men and young women, has God placed in women, has God placed in your hearts a desire to do your hearts a desire to do service for Him? Then by service for Him? Then by all means cultivate the all means cultivate the voice to the utmost of voice to the utmost of your ability so that you your ability so that you can make plain the can make plain the precious truth to others.– precious truth to others.– Testimonies, vol. 6, p. Testimonies, vol. 6, p. 383. 383.

Speak Clearly and Speak Clearly and Distinctly.--Distinctly.--

When you speak, let every word When you speak, let every word be full and well rounded, every be full and well rounded, every sentence clear and distinct to the sentence clear and distinct to the very last word. Many as they very last word. Many as they approach the end of a sentence approach the end of a sentence lower the tone of the voice, lower the tone of the voice, speaking so indistinctly that the speaking so indistinctly that the force of the thought is destroyed. force of the thought is destroyed. Words that are worth speaking at Words that are worth speaking at all are worth speaking in a clear, all are worth speaking in a clear, distinct voice, with emphasis and distinct voice, with emphasis and expression. expression. Testimonies, vol. 6, p. 383. Testimonies, vol. 6, p. 383.

simplicityBut never search for But never search for words that will give the words that will give the impression that you are impression that you are learned. The greater learned. The greater your simplicity, the your simplicity, the better will your words better will your words be understood.--be understood.--Testimonies, vol. 6, p. Testimonies, vol. 6, p. 383. 383.

Men and women are Men and women are wandering in the mist wandering in the mist and fog of error. They and fog of error. They want to know what is want to know what is truth. Tell them, not in truth. Tell them, not in high-flown language, high-flown language, but with the simplicity but with the simplicity of the children of God. –of the children of God. –Manual for Canvassers, Manual for Canvassers, pp. 39, 40. pp. 39, 40.

Words Well Chosen.Words Well Chosen.Do not, because you are Do not, because you are among unbelievers, become among unbelievers, become careless in your words; for careless in your words; for they are taking your they are taking your measure…. Let the mind be measure…. Let the mind be filled with pure, holy filled with pure, holy thoughts, and let the words thoughts, and let the words be well chosen. Hinder not be well chosen. Hinder not the success of your work by the success of your work by uttering light, careless uttering light, careless words.--Manual for words.--Manual for Canvassers, p. 24.Canvassers, p. 24.

Winning Words; Gentle, Courteous Winning Words; Gentle, Courteous Demeanor. Demeanor.

Those who work for Christ are Those who work for Christ are to be upright and trustworthy, to be upright and trustworthy, firm as a rock to principle, and firm as a rock to principle, and at the same time kind and at the same time kind and courteous. Courtesy is one of courteous. Courtesy is one of the graces of the Spirit. To the graces of the Spirit. To deal with human minds is the deal with human minds is the greatest work ever given to greatest work ever given to man; and he who would find man; and he who would find access to hearts must heed access to hearts must heed the injunction, "Be pitiful, be the injunction, "Be pitiful, be courteous." courteous."

Kind words are as dew and gentle Kind words are as dew and gentle showers to the soul. The Scripture says showers to the soul. The Scripture says of Christ, that grace was poured into of Christ, that grace was poured into His lips, that He might "know how to His lips, that He might "know how to speak a word in season to him that is speak a word in season to him that is weary." And the Lord bids us, "Let your weary." And the Lord bids us, "Let your speech be alway with grace" "that it speech be alway with grace" "that it may minister grace unto the hearers." may minister grace unto the hearers." Some with whom you are brought in Some with whom you are brought in contact may be rough and contact may be rough and uncourteous, but do not, because of uncourteous, but do not, because of this, be less courteous yourself. He this, be less courteous yourself. He who wishes to preserve his own self-who wishes to preserve his own self-respect must be careful not to wound respect must be careful not to wound needlessly the self-respect of others. needlessly the self-respect of others. This rule should be sacredly observed This rule should be sacredly observed toward the dullest, the most toward the dullest, the most blundering.– blundering.– Gospel Workers, pp. 121, 122. Gospel Workers, pp. 121, 122.

The Saviour's Voice.The Saviour's Voice.

The Saviour's voice was as The Saviour's voice was as music to the ears of those who music to the ears of those who had been accustomed to the had been accustomed to the monotonous, spiritless monotonous, spiritless preaching of the scribes and preaching of the scribes and Pharisees. He spoke slowly and Pharisees. He spoke slowly and impressively, emphasizing those impressively, emphasizing those words to which He wished His words to which He wished His hearers to give special heed. . . . hearers to give special heed. . . . The power of speech is of great The power of speech is of great value, and the voice should be value, and the voice should be cultivated for the blessing of cultivated for the blessing of those with whom we come in those with whom we come in contact.--Counsels to Parents, contact.--Counsels to Parents, Teachers, and Students, p. 240.Teachers, and Students, p. 240.

The Three Levels of Communications

1 Vocabulary2 Voice Inflections3 Nonverbal Behaviour

How We Really How We Really CommunicateCommunicate• • 7% of what we 7% of what we communicate is based on communicate is based on vocabularyvocabulary• • 38% of what we 38% of what we communicate is based on communicate is based on voicevoiceinflectionsinflections• • 55% of what we 55% of what we communicate is based oncommunicate is based onnonverbal behaviour nonverbal behaviour

• (P)OSTURES & GESTURES– How do you use hand gestures? Stance?

• (E)YE CONTACT– How’s your “Lighthouse”?

• (O)RIENTATION– How do you position yourself?

• (P)RESENTATION– How do you deliver your message?

• (L)OOKS– Are your looks, appearance, dress important?

• (E)PRESSIONS OF EMOTION– Are you using facial expressions to express emotion?

TYPES OF BODY LANGUAGERemember that you are dealing with “PEOPLE”

Verbal vs Non Verbal• Can we communicate without words?

• Voice attributes• What are they and how do they affect

communication?

• Physical attributes• What could be considered here and how do they

affect communication?

• The power of touch• What and when is OK?

• Which is better, verbal or non verbal?

The Communication Equation

• What you hear• Tone of voice• Vocal clarity• Verbal expressiveness 40% of the

message

• What you see or feel• Facial expression• Dress and grooming • Posture• Eye contact• Touch• Gesture 50% of the message

• WORDS … 10% of the message!

Communication is a 2-way process

• Communication skills involve:• Listening to others (Receiving) message

• Asserting/ Expressing (Sending)

• Barriers to communication can lead to misunderstanding and confusion

sender

receiver

sender

receiver

values and attitudes“generation gap”

Cultural differences

language

noise

hearing

Effective Communication Skills

Effective Communication skills

Eye contact & visible mouth

Body language

Silence

Checking for understanding

Smiling face

Summarising what has been said

Encouragement to continue

Some questions

Barriers to Effective Communication

Barriers to effective

communication

Language NoiseTime

DistractionsOther people

Put downsToo many questions

Distance

Discomfort

with the topic

Disability

Lack of interest

The Art of Listening

“If we were supposed to talk more than listen, we would have been given two mouths and one ear.”

•Mark Twain

Listening Skills

• Active Listening• Responding• Paraphrasing• Asking questions for clarification• Mirroring the other person’s

language

The Gift of SpeechThe Gift of SpeechOf all the gifts that God has Of all the gifts that God has bestowed upon men, none is more bestowed upon men, none is more precious than the gift of speech. precious than the gift of speech. If sanctified by the Holy Spirit, it If sanctified by the Holy Spirit, it is a power for good. It is with the is a power for good. It is with the tongue that we convince and tongue that we convince and persuade; with it we offer prayer persuade; with it we offer prayer and praise to God; and with it we and praise to God; and with it we convey rich thoughts of the convey rich thoughts of the Redeemer's love. By a right use of Redeemer's love. By a right use of the gift of speech the canvasser the gift of speech the canvasser can sow the precious seeds of can sow the precious seeds of truth in many hearts.-- truth in many hearts.-- Testimonies, vol. 6, p. 337. (1900)Testimonies, vol. 6, p. 337. (1900)