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Rob is at home in the kitchen with his girlfriend Vicky. He has had a bad day at

work. Then while trying to cook loses his rag and goes off on a Seinfeld/Larry

David esque rant. She laughs and says he should do stand up. Later in front of

the telly they have finished dinner. His girlfriend has fallen asleep. She farts in

his sleep. Michael Macintyre is on killing at the palladium. Rob stares at the

screen.

Next day Rob has a conversation with girlfriend about doing stand up.

Sequence of misfortunate events as Rob writes an act.

Rob is alone as he arrives at the pub for his first ever gig. The venue is a small

pub on the corner of a terrace street. He has a pre-written act with notes in a

small note pad. He is nervous. Comedy night is called Gaffs and Laffs comedy

night. The gig is in the back end of a pub. The Stage is a mic stand, one P.A.

amp, and one studio light right in the face.

Gets a glass of water from the bar chats with regulars.

Meets Gig organiser Mitch. He introduces himself as the stand up who emailed

him, and that its his first gig. Mitch is lively positive and enthusiastic friendly.

He has a scrap of paper with a list of names on it, Mitch writes Rob on it. Rob

orders a tap water with ice. Mitch nods over to the other stand ups sat around a

table. Rob walks over to them.

Sits down meets Kev and Sue. They disagree over the southern vs northern

pronunciation of the word Laugh. Rob is more optimistic about the gig and more

openly and honestly nervous.

A new Hack comedian Rick Hammer arrives who is overly confident and

obnoxious. He is arrogant and thinks this first gig of his is just a formality before

he hits the big time.

A regular walks in very vocal and snarls with disappointment at seeing the mic

and p.a. sytem. A few other acts arrive and they still outnumber the audience.

The acts all drink water apart from Kev who has a pint.

Mitch comes over from the bar to them and tells them the line up order:

Kev compare

Sue

Rick Hammer

BREAK

Rob

Dave

Headliner Jim

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Mitch announces Kev onto the mic. Mitch warms up the small crowd who do not

respond well. The new Hack joins in with the crowd.

Sues gets up to do her act. She is heckled by the Hack Rick Hammer and the

snarly local heckler. Kev tries to whisper to him to shut up. He persists.

Hacks gets up to do his act. He is terrible and dies on stage.

Break. The hack kicks off and storms off home in anger.

Girlfriend arrives

Kev calls up Rob for his act. Rob is nervous that the room is dead after following

the Hack. Rob is heckled by the remaining heckler. Robs stress gets the better of

him and he has an outburst and lays into the heckler, abandoning his act. Rob

turns and cracks a joke about his girlfriend farting in her sleep. She is totally

embarrassed. Cut to later the entire room including the heckler are laughing at

Rob as he thanks them and finishes his act. Kev takes the mic.

Rob sits back down looks at his girlfriend and she is looks at him angry and

totally embarrassed.

End