DOES YOUR CAR LOOK LIKE THIS?

WELL, IT COULD LOOK LIKE THIS!

[IF YOU BUY A NEW ONE]

AFTER YOU USE

SHAMJAM!

BY, CHEAP-O INTERNATIONAL

SHAMJAM IS MADE FROM 100%* NATURAL MATERIALS!!!!!!

WON’T HARM THE ENVIRONMENT!*

AND IT’S ENTIRELY SAFE TO USE*

1

2

* 1 CONTAINS NATURALY MANUFACTURED POLYPROLEXOLINE AND PLUTONIUM* 2 WILL NOT HARM ENVIRONMENT AS LONG AS IT IS KEPT IN AN AIRTGHT METAL SAFE*3 IS SAFE TO USE AS LONG AS APPLIED WITH A METRE LONG BROOM AND APPLIER IS

WEARING RADIATION SUIT.

3

NOW, “WHAT IS SHAMJAM?” YOU MIGHT

SAY.WELL, SHAMJAM IS AN ALL

NEW ALL-IN-ONE CAR CLEANING, CAR WAXING, DEODERANT AND METAL DISSOLVING PRODUCT!!!!

THE SHAMJAM METHOD IS EASY AND WILL LEAVE YOU MORE TIME FOR YOU TO DO THE THINGS YOU

REALLY WANT TO!!!

Before I used SHAMJAM It took my maids three hours to buff and wax my red Lambourghini Diablo.

Now I still enjoy myself but I have the comfort of knowing that my maids are getting paid by the hour!

BUT DON’T JUST BELIEVE US! SEE WHAT A HIGHLY PAID ACTOR PRETENDING TO BE A CUSTOMER HAD

TO SAY!

-PETE ROBERTS, B-grade film legend.

BUT THAT’S NOT THE END,HOW ABOUT

SOME TOTALLY USELESS SPECIAL DEALS!!

IF YOU BUY 12 MONTHS WORTH* OF

SHAMJAM FOR $119.99 PLUS POSTAGE & HANDLING, GST,

SHIPPING TAX AND GENERALLY GREEDY COMPANY CHARGE.

WE’LL THROW IN A BONUS INDOOR TOWEL RACK!

AND IF YOU PAY BY CREDIT CARD YOU WILL ALSO RECEIVE A BAG OF GERBIL

FEED!

ALSO, IF YOU GIVE US YOUR NAME, ADDRESS, PHONE NUMBER, BANK

ACCOUNT CARD AND PIN CODE WE’LL SEND YOU A BOX OF MEDICAL SUPPLIES!

TO ORDER YOUR ORDER OF THIS STUFF SEND A STAMPED, SELF ADDRESSED ENVELOPE TO:

SHAMJAM PRODUCT ORDERC/- LING-JOW BLACK MARKET,

22 MI SO SILI RD, LONGJON MOUNTAIN, NEPAL.

AND PLEASE REMEMBER TO WRITE VERY CLEARLY, THE CHILD LABOURERS CAN’T READ WELL!

IF YOU HAVE ANY COMPLAINTS PLEASE SEND THEM IN WRITING TO:

NO ONE CARES!C/- BIEJING MAIL RECYCLING PLANT,

BIEJING.WHRE WE PROMISE THAT AFTER NOT READING IT, IT WILL BE RE-PROCCESSED INTO A RICH MAN’S SCENTED TOILET

PAPER!

DO YOU WORRY ABOUT THE QUALITY OF

PRODUCTS?

WELL IF SO, YOU SHOULD BE GLAD TO KNOW THAT SHAMJAM IS MADE IN

AN ENTIRELY GERM-FREE CHILD SWEAT SHOP IN THE HIMALAYAS!

AND WE ALSO HAVE PRODUCT TESTING WHERE IF THE PRODUCT ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR US, THE

CHILD LABOUERS GO HOME WITHOUT THEIR 2 CENTS PER

WEEK!!!

WE ALSO HAVE A GARENTEE:WE GARENTEE THAT THE

PRODUCT IS OF EXTREMELY BAD QUALITY!

Another low quality product from

CHEAP-O INTERNATIONA

Lsuppliers of heavy artillery

weapons to guerrilla warfare groups and Iraqi schools.

SHAMJAM IS © OF CHEAP-O INTERNATIONAL, A DIVISION OF

BLACK-HEARTED-GET-RICH-QUICK-TYPES-WHO-BLUDGE-

AROUND-RIPPING-YOU-OFF INC.