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Murphy, Lois B.; Leeper, Ethel M.More Than a Teacher. Caring for Children, NumberTwo.Child Development Services Bureau (DHEW/OCD),Washington, D.C.Childrei's Hospital of the District of Columbia,Washington, D-.C.; Menninger Foundation, Topeka,Kans.; NationAl Inst. of Mental Health (DHEW),Rockville, Md.,DHEW-OCD-73-10277320p.Superintendent of Documents, U. S. GovernmentPrinting Office, Washington, D. C. 20402 ($0.45)

MF-$0.65 HC-$3.29*Child Care Centers; *Child Care Occupations; *EarlyChildhood Education; *Guidelines; *MotherAttitudes

ABSTRACTThe booklet is the second in a series on the ways

that child care centers can contribute to the healthy growth anddevelopment of preschool children, and focused on is the motheringteacher. The child care teacher is thought to be a mother substitutewho can help the child learn to trust the world. Mothering is seen toinvolve a natural drive to care for and protect the young, andconsideration of individual differences. The teacher is warnedagainst competing with the mother's love for the child to preventemotional problems. The mothering teacher is seen to fill emotionalneeds by offering affection, comforting the hurt child, showinginterest, appreciating accomplishment, and helping build a positiveself image. The mothering teacher is also shown to meet physicalneeds such as nourishment, toileting, sleep, and exercise. Aspects ofsocial development such as self control, consideration for others,and accepting responsibility are other functions encouraged by themothering teacher. The mothering teacher is said to build languageability through such activities as talking and listening, storytelling, and singing. (For other booklets in the series see EC 052600, EC 052 602 through EC 052 604). (DB)

FILMED FROM BEST AVAILABLE COPY

U S DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH.EDUCATION & WELFARENATIONAL INSTITUTE OF

EDUCATIONTHIS DOCUMENT HAS BEEN REPRODUCED EXACTLY A: RECEIVED rROmTHE PERSON OR ORGANIZATION OR IGINATING IT POINTS S OF VIEW OR OPINIONSSTATED DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OFFICIAL NATIONAL INSTI TUTE OFEDUCATION POSITION OR POLICY

DHEW Publication No. (OCD) 73-1027

LOIS B. MURPHY, Ph.D.ETHEL M. LEEPER

caring for childrennumber two

MORE THAN ATEACHER

Preface 2

Acknowledgments 3

What Is Mothering? 5

A Natural Drive 5

Melting Distrust 6Learning Individual Needs 6

How Is Mothering Different fromMother Love? 7

Many Kinds of LoveHome Is the Base 7

Mothering Fills Emotional Needs 8

Offers Affection 8

Comforts the Hurt Child 8

Shows Interest 9

Appreciates Accomplishment 9

Helps Build a Positive Self-Image 10

Mothering Meets Physical Needs 11

Nourishment 11

Toileting 11

Sleep 12Exercise 12

Helping Out in a Fix 12

Mothering Helps SocialDevelopment 14

Self-Control 14Consideration for Others 16Accepting Responsibility 16

Mothering Builds Language Ability 18

Talking and Listening 18Story Telling 18Sing!ng 18

U.S. DEPARTMENT OFHEALTH, EDUCATION, AND WELFAREOFFICE of CHILD DEVELOPMENTBUREAU of CHILD DEVELOPMENT SERVICES

preface

The influence of a good child care centeris not limited to the children who are cared for,the staff itself, or the mothers who participate.Older and younger brothers and sisters, friends,neighbors, volunteers may all gain from changesbrought about by the child care center, In someinstances, the neighborhood is brightened up, in.spired by the attractiveness of the center, andpride emerges to spark new efforts. School teach-ers and principals, ministers, and local agenciesalso grow more helpful, more interested in chil-dren.

This comes from the friendliness of thecenter staff to the whole family and to the neigh-bors. It also comes from the quality of everyaspect of the child care centerthe cheerful set-ting, the good food, the wellorganized space foractivity, the children's progress in learning andself-control, the experience of helping to improvethe center itself and the neighborhood, the result-ing good feelings, and a contagious sense ofprogress.

At one child care center on a dirt road fullof deep ruts and holes, with some adjacent yardsfull of junk and neighboring houses in a run downcondition, major changes occurred. The city streetdepartment improved the road; the real estateagent repaired and painted nearby houses whileresident owners painted their own; and volunteers from the police department cleaned up thejunk. Yards bare and full of scraggly weeds wereseeded and made neat. It all takes effort, but theresponse releases new energy.

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Thus child care centers have the oppor-tunity of providing massive help for the nation'schildren through contributing to wholesome physi-cal, mental, and social development, and also toan improved environment for the children. Thechild in a good center all day will receive goodfood, exercise, and rest to build a healthy body,as well as assistance in correction of physicalproblems.

Through constant communication withteachers and aides, language is developed, vo-cabulary is enlarged naturally, thought is stimu-lated, and a healthy self-concept evolves. Use oftoys and other play and work materials involvesexercise and development of sensory-motor skills,along with many concepts of color, size, shape,weight, balance, structure, and design. Storiesand songs encourage integration of feelings, ac-tion, and ideas, while developing imagination.

Spontaneous play in the housekeepingcorner or with blocks allows the child to play outhis observations of the family and the community.Other children may broaden their ideas and skillsthrough watching and joining in the play.

Neither health, nor adequate mental de-velopment, nor constructive social behavior canbe guaranteed for the rest of the child's life if thefollowing years do not also meet his needs ade-quately. But goad total development in childhoodcan provide prerequisites for further growth andcan help to prevent the beginnings of retardation,disorganized behavior, early delinquency, andemotional disturbance.

acknowledgments

I owe most to two groups of workers withyoung children: first, my former colleagues atSarah Lawrence College, who taught the childrenat the Sarah Lawrence Nursery SchoolEvelynBeyer, long time director of the nursery school,and Marian Gay, Rebekah Shuey, and also col-leagues at Bank Street College for Teachers withwhom at different times I shared teaching andresearch experiences. But in addition, I owe muchto the directors and teachers of many nurseryschools and day care centers across Amen ;a andaround the world. Especially exciting to me werethe Basic Education schools of India, initiatedby Gandhi and Zakir Hussain; and Bal Ghar inAhmedabad, indiaa unique integration of thebest American nursery school concepts, Montes-sori principles, Basic Education, and some tradi-tional Indian patterns, organized with a specialbalance of good structure and flexibility that I

came to know as Kamalini Sarabhai's genius.I am equally grateful to the creative staff

of the North Topeka Day Care CenterJosephineNesbitt and Forestine Lewis, who "dreamed up"the center to meet the needs of deprived childrenin their area; and among the intercultural groupof teachers and directors, Sarita Peters, MaryWilson, Jane Kemp, Connie Garcia, Chris Smitheach of whom had special tale -4-s in handling thechildren, stimulating and supporting their growth.Cecile Anderson has been especially generous insharing her unique storytechniques, observa-tions of children's favorite stories, and ways oflooking at children's constructiveness and pride

in achievement. Among the, volunteers, LillianMorrow was an inspiration to all of us with hersensitive, skillful, and quietly warm ways, andCarol Rousey contributed expert and helpfu: as-sessments of the children's speech and languagedevelopment.

The leadership of the local 0E0 direc-tor, Robert Harder, and later J. A. Dickinson,stimulated staff, parents and neighbors, GirlScouts, occupational therapy groups in local hos-pitals to help paint, plant shrubbery, build out-door play equipment, provide toys so as to makepossible a pleasant and well-furnished environ-ment for learning and for total development.Shirley Norris, director of Kansas State Day Care,Anna Ransom, wise dean of Topeka day care ef-forts, and Mr. S. Revely, the local realtor who ren-ovated the neighborhood houses for the Center,all gave time, energy, and warm interest to thedevelopment of the Center.

I also want to express my appreciation tothe responsive mothers whose progress along withthat of their children gave me a new understand-ing of human potentialities in children and adultsof all ethnic groups in America and the urgencyof making it possible for these to be expressed.

These guidelines were initiated by Dr.Caroline Chandler, former Chief, Children's Men-tal Health Section, National Institute of MentalHealth, and were supported by PHS GrantR12MH9266, the Menninger Foundation, andChildren's Hospital of the District of Cr Jumble.They were prepared under the supervision of Mrs.Franc Balzer, Director of Head Start's Parent andChild Center Program.

Lois B. Murphy, Ph.D.

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MORETHAN ATEACHER

In frontier days when settler families wereseparated by miles from the nearest school, itwas taken for granted that a child learned muchof what he had to know at home. The jobs ofmother and teacher overlapped because motherwas teacher through most of the child's early life.

In modern times, too, even though theschool may be just around the corner, mothersare more teacher than they may think. By thetime a six-year-old goes to first grade he haslearned about many things just from living withhis family. No one in the family may have thoughthe was teaching the child. 'Mother, father, broth-ers, sisters, and grandparents were just "doingwhat came naturally," and the child learned alongthe way. He not only learned many facts about theworld, but also formed attitudes toward the wor!dand other people based on his experiences athome.

If his home was a loving, trusting one,chances are the child trusts the world. If hisfamily has always been willing to help him, prob-ably he is willing to help others. While his motherwas feeding him, dressing him, putting him tobed, playing with him, and doing all of the thingsa mother does every day, she also was moldinghis outlook on life.

Some children are not so fortunate. Manyfamilies lace overwhelming difficulties that oftenlead to unintentionally harsh treatment of theirchildren. A parent may suffer from a long illness,or steady work may be hard to find and financialworries pile up. The mother of many children maysimply be so exhausted from bearing and lookingafter so many little ones that she does not havethe strength to give them the attention they need.

When adults are worried, ill, or tired, theytend to become angry at the world that has beenharsh with them. In different circumstances they

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probably would be good parents, but they are socrushed by life's problems that their behavior to-ward everyone, especially those closest to them,shows resentment. Children, who are weak andcannot fight back, often become the targets ofsuch anger.

A child who learns at home to expect onlyabuse from the world may enter first grade withwell-formed attitudes of anger and suspicion to-ward everyone around him. By the time he is sixyears old, it is sometimes impossible to changehis outlook.

This is how the child care center holdsgreat promise. When a child comes to a center heis only three or four years old. A teacher who dis-plays the love and consistent care 04 a mother athome can show such a child that his first impres-sion of the world was true for only a part of theworldfor only some people. Such a teacher canopen for him the vision of a wider world popu-lated with warm people who care about him.

These children in a child care center needmore than an ordinary teacher. They need a"mothering" teacher.

what is mothering?A Natural DriveHave you ever watched a

mother monkey look after her baby at the zoo?She feeds it and cleans its fur, but she does much

more. She keeps an eye on it while it scampersaround the cage and investigates the higherperches. She allows it to be free to explore untilshe thinks it is in a dangerous spot, or until alarger monkey attacks it. Then she runs to itsrescue, carrying it away from danger and soothingits frightened feelings at the same time.

A human mother does the same things forher baby. She feeds him when he is hungry;changes him when he is dirty; rocks him when heis upset; protects when he is in danger; andprovide:; whatever is needed in the way of physi-cal -and emotional comfort. That is mothering.

Mothering is what might be called "doingwhat comes naturally." Monkeys and people andall other animals are born with instincts that letthem know how to look after their young withoutbeing te,r!. A loving mother knows what to dowithout reading it in a book. She wants to sootheher baby when he cries.

There was a time when modern ideas ofchild care said that picking up a baby when itcried spoiled him. Now we have learned that theold-fashioned way is best. Loving does not spoila child. In fact, it is the children who have beendeprived of love who are spoiled in a differentway. They are not spoiled because they expecttoo much from the world. They are spoiled be-cause they expect too little. Their lack of love andgood mothering has made it impossible for themto respond to people in a positive way.

As these spoiled ones grow older, theybegin to hate school and teachers, the law andpolice. These institutions represent the world thatmistreats them, and they show their contempt forit by dropping out of school, breaking the law, orgenerally behaving in a way that is unacceptableto the society that they feel has rejected them.

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Melting DistrustGood mothering on the part ofthe child care teacher means giving personal at-tention, warmth, and care to the children whoneed it most. A child from a home without lovewill need mothering more than one who comes tothe center with the security of his family behindriim. Mothering may mean taking a child by thehand as you go into the play yard, or holding himon your lap at storytime. In his first days at thecenter he may need you by his side while he eatslunch or he may want you to take him to thetoilet.

If you work with him and show a steadyfeeling of affection, you gradually will be ableto melt the wall of distrust he has built be-

tween himself and the world. He will begin to befriendly, and his responsiveness will lead him intomany wonderful learning experiences. it may taketimepossibly a few monthsto build the rela-tionship you want, but it will be worth the effort.

Learning Individual NeedsNo two children arealike. A mother at home realizes this and conse-quently treats each child a little differently, ac-cording to his particular weaknesses or strengths.The child care teacher realizes, too, that eachchild must be handled in a slightly different man-ner. If Amondo does not speak well, he needsextra time alone with one teacher for conversationand play. But Joan may become overexcited whenactivities become too noisy and need to sit quietlyalone with a book. Sally and Sam may have to getup early in the morning so that their father candrop them off on his way to work, and maybe whatthey need most, first thing, is a snack or a nap togive them energy for the morning's fun.

A teacher, lust like a mother, needs toknow about a child's handicaps so that she canhelp him. If Johnny never answers a question,it might be that he is hard of hearing and needsmedical. care. Familiarity with the child's home

r.

The warm interest of the mothering teacher makes a child feel wanted and stimulates his interest and attention.

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helps a teacher to understand the child too.James may hide every day when the milkmancomes because his father beats him and hasmade him afraid of all men.

Teachers must know their children well togroup them properly. A timid, withdrawn childmay be mor' outgoing in a group of youngerchildren, while an aggressive, bolder type mightfind more challenging outlets for his energy in agroup of older children.

how is motheringdifferent frommother love?

Many Kinds of LoveThe word love can be usedto describe many different kinds of feelings.A man and woman fall in love and get married.They have children and love the children, but thefeeling is different from the love they feel foroneanother. At the same time this man and womanlove their own parents and brothers and sisters,but again it is a different feeling. They may haveclose friends whom they love, but not in the sameway they love their children or their parents. Allthese kinds of love are wholesome feelings, butthey are not the same.

A good child care teacher is said to loveher children. This means that she shows themwarm affection and is interested in their growthand well-being. A mother, on the other hand,loves her children with a special closeness be-cause they are her own flesh and blood.

If a teacher, unfortunately, were to com-pete with the mother's love for a child, it wouldplace the child in an emotional tangle that wouldbe beyond his understanding. He would be unsurejust how to feel toward either his mother or histeacher. if he found himself loving his teachermore, he would then feel guilty about his love forhis mother. No teacher can allow herself to causesuch a difficult situation.

A healthy kind of ove for a teacher togive is one that shows interest and an affection-

ate response to a child's accomplishments andgrowth. It never casts a doubt in the child's mindabout his own mother's love for him or her capa-bilities to care for him. Teacher's love encouragesthe child to keep on learning and guides him to-ward a wholesome attitude toward life. When thechild moves out of her group and into a n-toremature one, she continues to be interested andto rejoice at his advancement, but also gives herlove to other children who need it.

Home Is the BaseChild care centers never wereintended to replace homes. True, the children re-main at the center a great part of their wakinghours, but it should never be thought of as dis-placing home. The child care center supplementshome.

The atmosphere of a good center is warmand friendly like that of a good home. The teacheris affectionate and helpful like a good mother.

A "double decker" lap lets teacher show her love fortwo children at once.

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But the center does not take the place of the'home, nor the teacher the place of the mother.

Ideally, the teacher and parents think oftherrfselves as a team working together for thebenefit of the child. The mother sees her child ina different environment and with different peoplethan the teacher does. His behavior at home maynot be the same as his behavior at the child carecenter. If mother and teacher can keep each otherinformed about how the child acts in each place,it can help both of them to understand what mightbe troubling the child and how to help him.A child who is talkative at home but silent all dayat the center may need some extra time to talkalone with the teacher to help him feel more atease with so many people.

The understanding teacher must remem-ber that the child she is concerned with may beonly one of several children demanding mother'sattention when she comes home tired after aday's work. While mother may not handle thechild the way the teacher does, she may havereasons of her own for treating him differently.If mother and teacher can meet frequently to ex-change' ideas about the child's needs, it wouldfoster the development of a mutual respect thatwould carry over in a sense of security in thechild.

mothering fillsemotional needs

Offers Affection"Look what I found on my wayto school, Mrs. Jackson." The teacher smiles,"What a perfect bird's nest, Julian. The other chil-dren will be interested in looking at it later thismorning." Julian goes off proudly. Barbara runsin and throws her arms around Mrs. Jackson.About the same time Mrs. Jackson notices thatbashful Juan has arrived, and she gathers himtogether with Barbara into her arms for a share-a-hug. Playful Nicky sneaks up behind her and

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tugs at her skirt. Quiet Gene gives a timid wavefrom a distance.

In such a natural fashion the child carecenter begins its day. Each child has greeted andbeen greeted in some special affectionate way.Some need a good morning hug to tell them thatthere will be warm feelings for them all throughthe day. Others keep their love at a distance witha wave or a playful tap.

Every child (and every human being, forthat matter) needs affection in some form. A smilemay be enough for Christina, while Bert needsrepeated hugs throughout the day to reassurehim. Teacher is mindful of this and does not ob-ject when Bert interrupts a game to ask for hishug. She realizes that some children, particularlythose from homes where the adults are too upset,or busy, or unhappy to offer love, may be starvedfor affection. It is important to give affection whenit is needed. There is no need for a big display.A quick squeeze will make Bert happy, and thegame can go on.

After a while an observant teacher learnsa kind of "love language" with each child. Sheknows just the personal attention needed to makeeach child feel he is important to her, that shecares about him.

Bedtime is the period of the day in somefamilies that mother devotes exclusively to herchildren. She reads a story, or sings, or talksquietly with them before they settle down forsleep. This is when the children know mother hasno other chores to take her attention. Her time isall theirs. If anything is bothering them, this isthe time to talk it out with mother.

Just before naptime can be the quiet pe-riod in the child care center when the childrenenjoy teacher's full attention. It is a good time fora story or a record, and a time to show each childthat he is indeed loved.

Comforts the Hurt Child"Let Mommy kiss itand make it better," croons the mother whosetoddler has just banged his knee on a table.Mother knows the knee is not badly hurt, and shealso knows that a kiss has no medical value. Yet,a kiss can bring about miracle cures in a childwho needs the reassuring comfort of his mommywhen he hurts.

Also, in a child care center children gethurtfor real, or in their imaginations. Either

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way, they have a right to expect comfort from theadults around them. The mothering teacher showsher concern and soothes his hurt feelings. Shemight help her miracle cure along with a ban-dage, even though there is no cut to mark theinjury. Bandages, sympathetic words, and kisses-to-make-better all tell a child he is worth caringabout.

Shows InterestGeorge has found a cocoon at-tached to a twig in the play yard. He runs to showhis teacher. "Oh, that's just some kind of cocoon.Throw it away now, George, it is time for lunch,"one harried teacher might say. But anotherteacher might pause for a moment, look carefullyat George's find, and say, "That is a cocoon,George. A cocoon is a home for a baby insect.I don't know what kind of insect lives in thiscocoon, but let's talk about it after lunch. Bringit inside with you."

Which teacher has spurred George's natu-ral desire to find out about things? The teacherwho showed interest, of course. Her interestedres.porse took no longer than the other teacher'sbored response, but it did much more for Georgeand his outlook on life. If this same teachermakes George's cocoon the topic of an after-lunchdiscussion with the class, she will be bolsteringGeorge's idea of his own importance and will beshowing the other children something new innature as well.

An alert teacher is always ready to takeadvantage of every new situation that arises tobroaden the children's experiences. The teacherwho is so tied to her schedule that she cannotfind time for a class conversation about some-thing that turns up unexpectedly, like a foundcocoon, is denying the children the interest thata good mother shows.

Some teachers withhold enthusiasm fora child's discovery for fear of showing their ownignorance. They feel that if they don't know thename of the insect, or the kind of tree a leaf hasfallen from, or what kind of rock a child hasfound, they are showing themselves up before thechildren as being stupid. Far from it! George isnot interested in hearing that his cocoon actuallycontains a lepidopterous insect in the pupa stage.What he wants to hear is how wonderful histeacher thinks his discovery is. "What a beauti-ful pink stone!" is a rewarding exclamation to afour-year-old who has picked it up along the road.Teachers and mothers who understand childrenrealize how important it is to show an interest inwhat the child is interested inbut at his level.

Appreciates AccomplishmentNo matter howlowly the job, we ail like to hear the words, "Welldone!" This need to have other people appreciatewhat we do is not limited to children. Adults, aswell, will try harder to do their best for the bosswho shows them he notices their efforts and likestheir work. On the other hand, there is little rea-son to try to please the boss who never has agood word to say about anyone's efforts.

Children need encouragement all alongthe way. Many times their first efforts are clumsy.It may take a three-year-old a few months to learnhow to use paints without dripping them on thetable and how to stay within the edges of thepaper. Scolding him for the mess he made will

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Climbing high is fun, but sometimes needs a helpinghand.

only make him stop trying. Praising him for eachsmall success will keep him working hard to dobetter.

Teachers soon learn that every child isdifferent in his skills and speed of learning. Whileone three-year-old may be able to build a towerof blocks right off without help, another one mayneed weeks of help and practice. The slower childmay be slower because his muscles have not de-veloped so much as those of the quicker child,and because of this he is more awkward in hishandling of the blocks. Or perhaps he has neverseen blocks before and needs to be shown whathe can build with them before he uses themfreely. However simple his first constructions,

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a little praise from the teacher will encouragehim to experiment with new arrangements.

Helps Build a Positive Self-ImageThe term"self-image" covers many feelings about our-selves. It is the way we think we arewhetherwe are worthy individuals or not. It is wrapped upwith the place we think we hold in our familieswhether we are important to them or not. Do wehear our own names with a sense of satisfaction?Or do we believe that we. ourselves, do notamount to anything? Are we proud of who we are,or do we wish we were somebody else? Everybodyat some time is envious of somebody else, and atthat moment wishes to trade places with him, butthe person who constantly feels he is a nobodyin the eyes of others is half defeated from thestart.

We get our first ideas of ourselves withinour families. Children from small families withloving, attentive parents become quite clear aboutwho they are by the time they arc four years old.They know they have a big sister and a littlebrother and that they are in the middle. They havea definite place in the family, and they alreadyrecognize their relationship to every other mem-ber of the family.

Unfortunately, a child in a large familywhose parents are too tired or busy to talk withhim or pay attention to him may not even havea clear idea of his own name. He rarely hears hisname spoken. Some children have no possessionswhich are truly theirs. They come to the childcare center without any awareness of themselvesas individuals in a society of other individuals.Looking at themselves in a full-length mirror andfinding themselves in photos of the group helpchildren to have a clearer picture of how theylook.

The teacher can start by impressing eachchild with his own name. She always uses hisname when speaking with him. She goes out ofher way to single a child out for special comment,as "Karen has on a pretty red dress" or "Don justgot a haircut." She sees that their names are onevery drawing they make and are posted over thecubby where they hang their coats. Birthdays arefull of opportunities to build a positive sense ofself. Singing "Happy Birthday" to a child and giv-ing him a toy of his very own to take home makeshim somebody special.

mothering meetsphysical needs

A mother's first responsibility is to thephysical needs of her baby. Before she can thinkabout his mental development, she must thinkabout his body. Has he had enough to eat? Is heclean and dressed? Is he comfortablenot toowarm nor too cold? Is he protected from strongsunlight or rain? The child care teacher also mustbe mindful of a child's physical needs. It is diffi-cult to capture a child's imagination about theworld around him when he cannot take his mindoff of his empty, gnawing stomach.

NourishmentProviding a well-balanced noon-time meal is a very important part of the childcare progran.. For many children, it is the onlyreal meal of the day. in addition to the immediateeffects of better health because of improved nutri-tion, the midday meal can add new experiencesfor the young child. It is another time whenmothering is needed.

There are families where full dinners areseldom served. A family may not be able to sitdown to eat a meal at a table because there is notable. A bag of potato chips and a coke may bea meal to children in such families. When a childwith such a limited knowledge of food sees a plateof chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans inthe center, he may not know what to do. Both thefood and the entire mealtime atmosphere arestrange to him.

Teacher can help him meet this new situa-tion by encouraging him to "take just a tinytaste first and see if you like it." As the childgrows more accustomed to the lunchtime routine,teacher can help him find out what he likes anddislikes by talking with him about the food."Aren't these peaches good, Randy? Which doyou like betterpeaches or pears?" Developingdefinite likes and dislikes contributes to a child'sself-image, as well. If Randy likes peaches and

Tony doesn't, Randy is a person distinct fromTony.

As the child becomes more at ease duringmealtime, teacher, like a mother, tries to broadenhis eating experiences by encouraging him totaste a variety of foods. It must be gradual, for thefood we eat is a very important part of our lives,and we want to be comfortable with it. A childcannot be expected to try every new food imme-diately, but with teacher's help, he can be ledinto many new taste experiences.

Stories of the boyhood of President JohnF. Kennedy tell of dinnertime in the large Kennedyfamily. This was the time of day when father,mother, and the children got together for con-versation about events in the world. PresidentKennedy was quoted many times as saying thatthese family dinners and conversations did muchtoward creating his concern for the country'sproblems.

In some homes, however, there is no fixeddinnertime. The children may grab a snack andeat it on the street or while watching television.When a men! is prepared, it may be shoved infront of the children without a word to be eatenin silence. There is no feeling of warm humanrelationships associated with eating.

At the child care center lunchtime can besimilar to a family gathering made pleasant bygood food and interesting talk. If teacher sits withthe children, she can direct the conversation intodozens of topics related to food.

"I wouldn't be surprised if these potatoescame to the store in a big truck from the farm.You know, a truck like our red one over there."This could lead into a conversation about howfood is brought from the farm to the supermarket.

"Did you know that potatoes grow underthe ground, and the farmer has to dig them up?"From here teacher can lead the talk to how vege-tables and fruit grow.

After such a lunch, children leave thetable filled with pleasant feelings tied to an or-derly family-like meal and also to new ideas andfacts.

ToiletingJust as a child gets hungry during theday at the center, so he also must use the toilet.Some children come to the center without havingexperience with a flush toilet. T1 ;ey may alwayshave used a potty. Or they may live in the country

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without running water and have to depend on anoutside privy. Whatever their experiences, theteacher must help them adjust to the center'stoilets and toilet routine. She lets a child use thepotty for a few days and gradually suggi-sts thathe "do as the other children do" and use thetoilet. Teacher is ready to go with the tightenedchild and assure him that he won't fall k,. Shereminds him always to wash his hands after usingthe toilet and shows him how to soap up andrinse off.

Teacher, like mother, knows that when ex-cited or worried, children may wet their pants andcannot be blamed for such accidents. Like amother, she has an extra pair of dry panties onhand for such an emergency.

SleepSome children can fall asleep in themiddle of a noisy playroom surrounded by excit-ing things to do. Others will play hard until prac-tically forced to lie down and rest. All childrenhave different nerds for sleep. While Tony maynot need more than a half-hour's rest with a pic-ture book, Andy may need a full two hours ofsleep. Teacher can tell how much sleep each childneeds. She does not punish Tony for not sleeping,but neither will she allow him to awaken Andy,who needs his afternoon nap.

The child care center, by having estab-lished time for rest every day, helps the childrento accept the idea of a regular bedtime at home.

ExerciseYoung muscles need lots of exercise todevelop in strength and skill. The big muscles inthe arms and legs need to be used vigorously insuch activities as running, jumping, catching, andclimbing. The smaller muscles in the fingers needto work with small pieces, like puzzles or Lego.The muscles of the eye and hand or eye and foothave to learn to work together as in throwing orkicking a ball. Good mothers and teachers seethat the young child has many opportunities touse all of his muscles in active and quiet play.They also recognize the danger in some vigorousactivities and keep a close watch so that no onegets hurt.

Teachers must remember that a child can-not stick to one activity too long. Attention spansin young children are short, anu, if the play isvery vigorous, a young child may become over-tired. An alert teacher recognizes signs of rest-

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lessness, fatigue, or overexcitemen't and helps thechild to shift to a more restful activity, such asplay in the sand box or with water.

On nice days when the children can playoutdoors, exercise comes naturally. The healthy

Nants to run across the yard or roll down,y slope. Exercise is fun, and most children

haruiy need urging to use their large muscles inactive play.

If the child care center does not have ade.quate outdoor play space, some special arrange.ments may have to be made to use a nearby parkor vacant lot. In some communities a local civicorganization or the neighbors themselves havecooperated to build a vest-pocket playground ona lot that is too small for any commercial use.In cities where unused land is scarce, some cen-ters have made arrangements to use a fenced-inportion of the roof of a nearby organization, likea YMCA or church, as an outdoor playground.

What teacher must remember is thatyoung children need to spend some time outdoorsin the sunshine. The benefits to the children areworth any extra efforts that may be necessary tomake arrangements for a play area away from thecenter.

A rainy day also may be a problem unlessteacher realizes that the weather does not changea child's need for exercise. She must arrange forsome indoor action games, like "The MuffinMan," or dancing, or playing "Animal" to musicto keep growing muscles in shape when theweather is bad.

Helping Out in a Fix"You want me home whenyou come home from school," complained Motherto Marilyn, "yet you hardly speak to me you arein such a hurry to go out to play."

"Yes," agreed Marilyn, "but I know you'rehere when I need you."

That is largely the function of a support-ing mother. She allows her children to grow upand become independent, yet she is there whenthey need her. That, too, is the job of the mother-ing day care teacher. She is on hand to get Billy'szipper unstuck, or to help Thomas dry his hands,or to tie Jane's hair ribbon. If Maria can't thinkof something to make with play-dough, teachercan help to get her thinking by sitting down nextto her and making something herself while shetalks about objects that Maria can make. When

A child withoutskill needsteacher's helpto make a start.

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Carlo and Davy want to be furniture moving menwith the wagon but can't think of anything to usefor furniture, teacher can suggest- that the car-tons from the grocery store could become make-be:ieve tables and chairs.

There is no end to how a motheringteacher can help. One of her goals is to. help thechildren accept responsibility, so while she helpsout she also teaches her children how to useutensils safely and correctly. She shows them howto carry scissors with the points down and how trtell the sharp edge of a knife. She can help theirmuscle development and coordination by payingball with them, cautioning them at the same timenever to run into a street after a rolling ball with-out stopping firr.,t. and looking both ways for cars.If Bobby gets stuck up a tree, teacher rushes tohelp him down and points out a safe way to getdown by himself next time. In countless little waysthe teacher, like the mother, prepares a child totake care of himself as he grows older.

mothering helpssocial development

Self-ControlDid you ever have an urge to drivedown the left side of the street? Did you do it?Probably not. You have learned that you must giveup some individual freedom in urder to live inharmony with other people. You have learned toexercise self-control in order to avoid an accident.

Though we practice self-control in count-less ways every day, we were not born with it.The newborn infant is aware only of his own 0/antsand needs. He couldn't care less if he wakes theentire family at 2 a.m. because he is hungry.

As the infant grows older he graduallylearns what he may do and what he may not do.His parents set the limits of his behavior, and heknows he can go just so far before he is stopretd.

The same limits must be clearly under-stood in the child care center as well. Although

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a good center gives the child a considerableamount of freedom in choosing what he does andwith whom he does it, it must insist on certainstandards of behavior. Parents sometimes worrythat the child care center will spoil their child.They are reassured when they find out that thestandards of behavo in a good center are thesame as those of a stable home. The childrenmust learn ti:at tl ey cannot hurt other children,or throw toys or sand or anything else that mightinjure someone. They have to find out that shout-ing does not bring them more attention, nor areaggressive acts like slamming doors or kickingblocks rewarded.

There is universal agreement amongadults that children must learn self-control. Sharpdifferences of opinion, however, develop as to howto encourage this. The goal always must be tohelp the child learn, not to punish him. Too oftenthe adult loses his temper and lashes out withangry words or physical violence, hitting, spank-ing, or shaking the child. None of these forms ofpunishment has a place in a good child care cen-ter or an understanding home. Such treatmentonly makes the child angry and resentful andusually brings out more una^.ceptable behavior.

The adult who meets child's violencewith more violence is not practicing self-controlhimself. He is copying the child's behavior. Heactually is telling the child that violence is allright if you happen to be bigger. This is the phi-losophy of a bully. No adult consciously wants toteach a child to grow up to be a bully!

Yet there are children who come to childcare centers bearing ugly red welts from harshbeatings at home. These children who havelearned to expect this kind of treatment from alladults are afraid of the teacher. Their anger atthe world may come out in some form of aggres-sive behavior at the center.

Whenever and for whatever reason a childbehaves aggressively, the mothering teacher mustset the example. The child is upset and needscomforting. She must be firm, but kind. She mustexplain why the behavior was wrong and let t!.echild realize that he would be happier if he prac-ticed self-control. She must offer him protectionand assure him of continuing love in spite of hisoutburst. Her words are very important.

"I won't let anybody else hurt you, andI won't let you hurt anyone else."

"Come to me, Betsy and let's see ifwe can't talk about it and find out what thetrouble is."

"Let's sit over here for a while, Jose.When you can remember not to throw the cars atMary, you may play with them again."

Some children calm down more quickly ifthey are held in teacher's arms. Others resent

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being touched, but will respond to a calm voice.Mothers and teachers both learn what approachworks for each child,

After the teacher has had some successin helping the angry child to cooperate in re-

sponse to encouragement and positive rewards,she might suggest a talk with the parents aboutmethods of discipline. Some parents feel the only

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way to get a child to behave is to whip him intosubmission. A visit to the child care center to seefor themselves the ways the teacher helps a childto develop self-control might lead the parentsto adopt more positive disciplinary methods athome.

Remember, children learn by imitating thepeople around them. A child who is constantlyaround an angry mother or teacher will often beangry himself.

Consideration for OthersJosie sees a doll shelikes and snatches it out of Jenny's arms. Georgeis in a hurry to get to the playground and shovesVincent out of the way. Norman pays no attentionwhen Pam asks him to help her move a box.

This may seem to be fairly normal be-havior for four-year-olds. Yet when the same atti-tudes appear in an adult, he is called "rude,""indifferent," "selfish," and 'Thoughtless." He issaid to have no consideration for others, to thinkonly of himself. Helping a young child learn to beconsiderate of others is another responsibility forthe mother and the mothering child care teacher.

In families where the children have manytoys, the conscientious mother will teach hersmall child to share his toys with his brothers,sisters, and friends. She knows that the unselfishchild or adult is a happier and more pleasantperson.

However, sharing does not come naturallyto most humans. We are born with a drive to takecare of ourselves, and the desire to share comesonly after we have had enough experience to knowthat there is enough for us as well as our neigh-bors. When Mother insists that Marguerita passthe cookies to her friends first and take her ownlast, she is asking her to go against her naturaldrive to look after herself. Marguerita, however,will willingly do what Mother wants once sheknows there are enough cookies for everyone.

Often in the child care center a childcomes along who has had no toys to share. Orperhaps he has no brothers or sisters and neverhad to share his toys. When he sees the delightfulthings at the center, he wants to keep them forhimself. He may grab at the things he wants with-out a thought for the other children.

"You will have a chance to play with thedoll, Josie, as soon as Jenny is through with it,"teacher says. "All the toys here belong to all thechildren. You'll have a turn soon."

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Learning to wait is hard, especially for asmall child who has no idea of time. Teacher canencourage it by words such as, "You're reallygrowing up. It is hard not to get upset about hav-ing to wait."

Helping others can be a joy or a chore,depending on our early experiences. Generally, thechild who has lived with helping parents will wantto be helpful. Mothers can encourage brothersand sisters to help one another at home, and thechild care teacher can do the same at the center.Encouraging a child to help is different from as-signing a child to help. When big sister is madeto watch little brother every afternoon, she maygrow to resent the chore and hate the child.

It is useful in a child care center if theolder children can be with the younger ones sometime every day. Teacher can suggest that four-year-old Julie might want to show how strong sheis by pushing three-year-old Timmy on the swing.Older children can help to serve food at lunch orset the table for the smaller ones.

Most parents are extremely concernedabout manners. Often the first Words a child istaught are "thank you." However, manners canbecome mechanical unless they are an expressionof a genuine consideration for others.

Accepting ResponsibilityEvery mother can usesome help in the house, yet in many homes asource of help is left unused because mothers donot recognize the abilities of a small child. Toooften the three- and four-year-olds are not per-mitted to help for fear they'll brea \ or spill some-thing. But when they reach their teens, they areberated for not being helpful.

A child who has been shown that doinguseful tasks can be fun is more likely to grow intoa responsible teenager and adult. In the child carecenter children can do many simple housekeepingchores. They can and should put their playthingsaway. They can clear off the tables after lunchand can put the covers on their cots at naptime.If teacher holds the dust pan while telling Tommyhow to handle the broom, the task will be evenmore fun.

Children will repeat the acts that bringthem pleasure and rewards. Praise for a job welldone will make a child want to be helpful in thafuture. Appreciating and respecting a child willhelp him to respect himself and feel proud ofwhat he can do.

mothering buildslanguage ability

Talking and Listening"Now it's time for Ricky'sbath. Oh, the water is too hot. Mommy must addsome cold water." The young mother bustlesabout getting her baby's bath ready, chatting tohim the entire time, even though he is only threemonths old and a long way from being able toanswer her. Mothers like this don't need answers.They enjoy talking to their babies, and they knowthat even though baby may not yet understandthe meaning of "water" or "hot," he likes to hearhis mother's voice.

Gradually the sounds of voices take onmeaning for the baby. When Mommy says, "IsRicky hungry?" Ricky may know that is the cuethat food is on its way and he claps his hands.He is beginning to communicate. Mommy, de-lighted with his new trick, repeats ner question atevery mealtime and makes a fuss over his clever-ness. Ricky, enjoying the attention, respondsevery time, and his ability to communicate withhis mother, even without words, grows.

This is how babies learn to talk. As theirworld broadens, so do the things mother talksabout. Gradually the baby begins to say syllables.If they make some sense to mother, she will showher appreciation, and baby will repeat the sound.His language has taken another step forward.

Teacher, in her mothering role at the childcare center, can continue this language develop-ment by talking, asking questions, and listening.Communication is a two-way street, and youngchildren need to practice speaking as much asthey need to hear and understand. Everythingthat happens in the center becomes a topic ofconversation.

"Trudy has drawn a purple horse. Howmany children have seen a real horse? What col-ors are real horses? Do you suppose there arepurple horses too?"

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"We cannot go into the yard today be-cause it is raining. What did you wear on your feetthis rainy morning? Joanie's boots are red, andHugh's are black. Did you see Charlene's Umumbrella?"

"That is really a fine road Orlando hasmade with the blocks. Do you remember when wetook the bus' to the zoo? Remember that wideroad with the grass in the middle?"

":omorroW Judy's mother is going tobring her baby brother to visit us. Do any of youhave babies at home? What do tiny babies eat?Can any of you remember being a baby anddrinking milk from a bottle?"

A natural way to start up a conversationwith a child is to show interest in something heis doing. "I like the bright colors in your paint-ing, Susan. That building looks good and strong,Mark." Pointing out such positive qualities is asurer way to get a response than opening the con-versation with "What is that you are drawing?"Sometimes even professional artists are unable toput into words the feelings they express on can-vas, and it may be asking too much for a childto answer. Instead of encouraging conversation,such a question may turn it off.

Often things look quite different throughthe eyes of a child. We must be careful not toridicule his creativity. In a certain light, a blackhorse could very easily appear to be purple.A child, without the knowledge of an adult whoknows very well there are no such things aspurple horses, may quite honestly think the horsereally is purple.

Story TellingYoung children adore storieswhether they are told by mother or teacher. Thestory teller gives her entire attention, and eachchild feels she is telling it just for him. The endof the story can be the beginning of a lively dis-cussion about many subjects.

"The Three Little Kittens were being help-ful when they washed their mittens, weren't they?Do you think you are big enough to wash yourmittens, Clare? How else can we help at home,Ellen? They really liked that pie, didn't they? Whatkind of pie do you like best, Chris?"

SingingThrough the ages mothers have puttheir babies to sleep by singing them lullabies.Many a fortunate baby has been able to associate

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Books are moreinteresting if teachershares in the story andtalks about the story.

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the words of the song with the security of hismother's arms and the comfort of her voice. Sotoo, singing is an important part of a good childcare program.

As the child grows older, songs help toteach him about many commonr'ace things. Allthe household chores are accounted for in "HereWe Go 'Round the Mulberry Bush," and he mustknow all the names of the farm animals to sing"Old MacDonald Had a Farm."

In so many small ways children's basicneeds can be cared for in a child care center. Somuch depends on the child's experiences duringthese years that mold his outlook on life. Themothering teacher can become a lasting influencefor good that will give him strength in the yearsahead.

Photo Credits: Page 9, Mike Sullivan;other photographs by Dr. Lois Murphy

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FILMED FROM BEST AVAILABLE COPY