Doctrine of Polygamy

8/14/2019 Doctrine of Polygamy

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The Problem of Polygamy

Claire Zulkey

The First Wife

Being the first wife means that everybody hates you and those other wives

are just waiting for you to fall from your perch, silently praying every day that you

do. They wont take any steps themselves to be rid of you but they wont cry if you

do go. Nothing good is ever said about you and nobody will ever back you up. You

know this and you dont like it, but the worst part is how cheated you feel. You

originally married one man, not a man and several other women. But you wouldnt

give your spot up for the world. In a strange, small sense you nurture your

bitterness and hurt. Being the victim can be a sweet pain. He treats you with

extreme care and buys you nice presents. Youre the first, you know youre the

benchmark, and in the end, he always comes back to you. Youre the queen bee: the

rest are just wannabes. You sleep in the big bedroom, you make the shopping lists

and you have control of the money. You have his ear and ultimately, the final word

on everything. Well, almost everything.


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The Second Wife

The problem with being the second wife lies in a misplaced sense of

entitlement. You feel like you are the one he really wants, you are the one who

really understands him and if it werent for that first wife, you would be exactly

where you should be in life. Youre two steps away from killing her except you

know that youd be breaking apart that whole twisted sense of family that he

keeps talking about and you wouldnt forgive yourself if you disappointed him.

Crack the veneer of the family and the whole thing falls apart.

The others hate you almost as much as they hate the first wife, as you are

loud and defensive. He loves your mind, he tells you, and you mistakenly think

everyone else does, too. Youre rather obnoxious. Youre the first to decry the first

wife as unsatisfactory and the other wives as unsavory. Youre in so much pain

from loving someone you cant have to yourself that you dont even think about it

anymore. But youre satisfied with your role. After all, if you werent there, it

wouldnt be polygamy.

The Third Wife

When youre the third wife you realize what a pointless battle youre

fighting. Sharing part of a person is so ridiculous, but a third is such an absurdly

small share. You cant unseat the first wife and the second wife is just waiting to


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eliminate you quickly and cruelly if you move in on her. So even though you

believe in following your heart you see what a stupid exercise this is. You dont

know what youre doing but you do know that if you werent part of this, you

wouldnt be doing anything at all. He always seems relieved to be with you.

Except for when he seems to act like youre wasting his time. You often wonder at

what point this stopped being fun and started getting too serious. One day you were

temping and the next day you realize youve been working at the same job for five

years.

The Fourth Wife

The problem with being the fourth wife is that youre no longer part of the

party. Its a little boring. Who cares about the fourth-stringer? But on the other

hand, youre so removed from the fracas that at least you maintain part of your

dignity. You feel like youre watching the parade and you dont mind at all. Little

effort, little drama, plus a husband and family. Not bad!

The other wives are just baby making satellites, but annoying and painful

ones nonetheless. He collects them almost by accident.

The husbands responsibility, meanwhile, is to keep everyone happy. He

rarely succeeds. He is a very happy, very nervous man. He has to remember that

Wife Three is kinder to Wife One than Wife Two is, but Wife Two and Three get


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with Wives Three and Four, because they are eager to please, but so much less

competitive. They relax him.

Being only with the young wives, however, makes him feel old. Sometimes

he thinks about giving the whole thing up, starting again with One, but he knows

how much less fun that would be. He would miss the other girls. His girls, he

thinks. He would think about them all the time.

The trickiest, always, is his birthday party. Every year he invites more and

more friends to dilute the tension but they always show up to watch the tension

unfold. Seeing Wives One and Two standing fiercely on either side of him as he

blows out the candles alone is worth it, they say. Each wife spends all day

preparing for the festivities, and when he makes his appearance, its as if the gun is

being fired at a race, each posing, vying for attention, playing aloof, constant

competition. Wife Four chats prettily with strangers. Wife Three rolls her eyes and

sits on the stoop and smokes and waits for the husband to furtively (secretively)

pop out and see her.

The husband makes sure to kiss all the wives goodnight and tell them how

special they made his birthday. Each wife, except for the young ones, falls asleep

either congratulating herself or cursing herself for that nights performance.


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For all, each day is like starting a race, and each day they vow that they will

either drop out or win this race. Its excruciating, the things that they go through but

you cant help it when youre in love and in need. After all, there are plenty of men

in this world, but only one husband.

Divorce, of course, is out of the question.


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Mormons and Polygamy

1. A lingering consequence of polygamy as practiced by the saints in the Bibleis that it has encouraged this sin to be practiced down through the centuries.

2. One of the distinguishing doctrines of Mormonism is polygamy.

3. In direct opposition to the teaching of Jesus Christ in Matthew 19:4-9 andthe divine pattern established in Genesis 1-2, the Mormons embracedpolygamy.

4. Mormons were required to multiply wives in order to reach the highestheaven.

5. Joseph Smith at Nauvoo, Ill., on July 12, 1843, made the following"revelation" concerning polygamy from the Lord:

For behold, I reveal unto you a new and everlasting covenant [polygamy];and if ye abide not that covenant, then are ye damned; for no one can reject this covenant and be permitted to enter into my [Lord's] glory (Doctrine and Covenants 132:4).

6. Not only was a Mormon permitted to have multiple wives, it was demandedto progress into the highest heaven (Mormons believe there are threeheaven- kingdoms and three levels in the highest of three heavens).

7. Ironically the revelation of Joseph Smith contradicted the Bible and alsothe Book of Mormon (Jacob 1:15; 2:24; 3:5; Mosiah 11:2).

8. In 1847 the Mormons entered the Great Salt Lake Valley in an effort to

escape persecution for their views and practices.

9. Utah was owned by Mexico and would be ceded to the United States inMarch 1848 in accordance with the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.

10.The Mormons organized their own government, and on March 10, 1849 theydrafted a constitution.


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11.This constitution formed what was called the "State of Deseret" withBrigham Young as governor (Marguerite Cameron, This Is the Place , Idaho:The Caxton Printers , Ltd. pp. 154-255).

12.The Mormons dwelt rather independently of federal law until the OrganicAct of 1850 created the Territory of Utah.

13.Mormons were free to engage in polygamy as required by Joseph Smith andthey did until they petitioned for statehood in 1849 and 1856. The petitionwas denied largely because of the practice of polygamy.

14. In 1882 the Edmunds Bill was passed by Congress making polygamyillegal.

15.When the Mormons failed to comply with the law, the United Statesthreatened to send the U.S. Cavalry to confiscate all their property anddisperse them.

16.Ironically, the leader of the Mormons, Wilford Woodruff, had a relieving"revelation."

17.On Sept. 29, 1890, Woodruff issued a Manifesto, which was approved(voted on) by the general conference on Oct. 6, 1890.

18.The Mormons cited Doctrine and Covenants 124:49 as a loophole forgetting out of the revelation of Joseph Smith (as well as other falseprophecies of Smith in the past) (Marguerite Cameron, This Is the Place , p.131).

19.The Mormons were no longer required to keep the everlasting covenant of polygamy. The cavalry left, and the threat of invasion was over. Six yearslater, Utah became a state.


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Koran and Polygamy

1. The verse that allows polygamy in the Koran "was revealed after the battleof Uhud in which many Muslims were killed, leaving widows and orphans for whom due care was incumbent upon the Muslim survivors."

2. The translation of the verse is as follows: "If you fear that you shall not beable to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (withthem), then (marry) only one" (Quran 4:3)

3. From this verse a number of facts are evident.

That polygamy is neither mandatory, nor encouraged, but merelypermitted.

That the permission to practice polygamy is not associated with meresatisfaction of. Rather, it is associated with compassion towards widowsand orphans, a matter that is confirmed by the atmosphere in which theverse was revealed.

That even in such a situation, the permission is far more restricted thanthe normal practice which existed among the Arabs and other peoples atthat time when many married as many as ten or more wives.

4 That dealing justly with ones wives is an obligation. This applies tohousing, food, clothing, kind treatmentetc., for which the husband isfully responsible. If one is not sure of being able to deal justly with them,the Quran says: "then (marry) only one." (Quran 4:3)

4. This verse, when combined with another verse in the same chapter, showssome discouragement of such plural marriages.

5. The other verse plainly states: "You are never able to be fair and just between women even if it is your ardent desire" (Quran 4:129)

6. The requirement of justice rules out the fantasy that man can "own as manyas he pleases."


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7. It also rules out the concept of a "secondary wife" , for all wives have exactlythe same status and are entitled to identical rights and claims over theirhusband. It also implies, according to the Islamic Law, that should thehusband fail to provide enough support for any of his wives, she can go tocourt and ask for a divorce.

8. The verse says "marry," not kidnap, buy or seduce. What is "marriage" asunderstood in Islam? Marriage in Islam is a civil contract which is not validunless both contracting parties consent to it. Thus, no wife can be forced or"given" to a husband who is already married.

9. It is thus a free choice of both parties. As to the first wife.

She may be barren or ill and see in polygamy a better solution thandivorce.

B She may divorce him (unilaterally) if he is married to a second wifeprovided that the nuptial contract gives her the right of unilateral divorce(ismah)

C She can go to court and ask for a divorce if there is evidence of

mistreatment or injustice inflicted upon her.

Doctrine of Polygamy

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