Untitledby Corey Medeiros

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TIME SUBMITTED 10-NOV-2016 01:06AM

SUBMISSION ID 734849686

WORD COUNT 2510

CHARACTER COUNT 13526

ENGLISH301EDITORIAL_2_.PDF (151.98K)

do they say it? or suggest it?

from one organism to another (not everyoneknows this)

much better! you justneeded to qualify yourclaims, and you'vedone that: good.

goodhistory, justacknowledgethatwe'remixingorganismsnowthatcan'tinterbreed

ontheirown,whichisn'twhatwashappening

You'll need to provide the legal definition of "organic"to prove this. Roundup ready crops are called that because

they don't die when sprayed with Roundup.Roundup is an herbicide.http://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2015/roundup-ready-crops/

qualify: some

weeds devourcrops? explain

hmm, I think you've confused weedsand insects in this paragraph. Maybeyou need a separate P for each?

Again, you'll need to provide the legal definition of"organic" to prove this. What I read said non-syntheticpesticides are acceptable. That's not apples-to-applescomparing.

You've done some impressive research here. Now, you needto add some specifics to become more persuasive. Then youneed to decide which parts of your paper are most important toyour argument (perhaps you need to change the argument, forexample, you could just argue that golden rice should beallowed) and shorten it to fit in our assigned guidelines. Whenyou revise, be sure to provide legal definitions for your terms,distinguish between pesticides and herbicides, etc.

FINAL GRADE

85/150

UntitledGRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

PAGE 1

Text Comment. do they say it? or suggest it?

PAGE 2

Text Comment. f rom one organism to another (not everyone knows this)

Text Comment. much better! you just needed to qualif y your claims, and you've done that:good.

Text Comment. good history, just acknowledge that we're mixing organisms now that can'tinterbreed on their own, which isn't what was happening 11,000 years ago.

PAGE 3

Text Comment. You'll need to provide the legal def init ion of "organic" to prove this.

Text Comment. Roundup ready crops are called that because they don't die when sprayedwith Roundup. Roundup is an herbicide.http://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/f lash/2015/roundup-ready-crops/

Text Comment. qualif y: some

Text Comment. weeds devour crops? explain

Text Comment. hmm, I think you've conf used weeds and insects in this paragraph. Maybe

you need a separate P f or each?

PAGE 4

PAGE 5

Text Comment. Again, you'll need to provide the legal def init ion of "organic" to prove this.What I read said non-synthetic pesticides are acceptable. That's not apples-to-applescomparing.

PAGE 6

PAGE 7

Text Comment. You've done some impressive research here. Now, you need to add somespecif ics to become more persuasive. Then you need to decide which parts of your paper aremost important to your argument (perhaps you need to change the argument, f or example, youcould just argue that golden rice should be allowed) and shorten it to f it in our assignedguidelines. When you revise, be sure to provide legal def init ions f or your terms, distinguishbetween pesticides and herbicides, etc.

PAGE 8

PAGE 9

PAGE 10

RUBRIC: EDITORIALS RUBRIC

RHET FOCUS

ABSENT OR BELOWBASIC

DEVELOPING

PROFICIENT

ADVANCED

ETHICAL RES

ABSENT OR BELOWBASIC

DEVELOPING

PROFICIENT

ADVANCED

PERSUASION

Developing

Write f or a specif ic audience and purpose.

Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation andlanguage needs adjustment f or the audience. Purpose (to argue a posit ionpersuasively) isn't clear or achieved.

Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms andideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to argue a posit ionpersuasively) may be unclear at t imes, and it may not be achieved convincingly.

Usually shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideasand using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to argue a posit ion persuasively)may be implied, but it 's clear and achieved.

Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms andideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to argue a posit ionpersuasively) is clear and achieved with style.

Advanced

Using the appropriate major’s customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate inf ormation f rom avariety of discipline-appropriate sources.

Omits or uses discipline-appropriate in- text and end-of - text citations and quotationmarks incorrectly. Drops quotations and ideas into text without introducing source.Frequently uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources or relies exclusively on onesource.

A f ew errors in discipline-appropriate in- text and end-of - text citations and quotationmarks. Of ten includes sources without introduction in cases when introduction isnecessary and discipline appropriate. Sometimes relies too heavily on a single sourceor uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources.

Correctly uses discipline-appropriate in- text and end-of - text citations and quotationmarks. Usually introduces each source f ully (as necessary and discipline-appropriate)—reader knows who did the research or communicating, f or whom, and why. Use ofsources is usually diverse, relevant and persuasive.

Correctly uses discipline-appropriate in- text and end-of - text citations and quotationmarks. Introduces each source f ully (as necessary and discipline-appropriate)—reader knows who did the research or communicating, f or whom, and why. Use ofsources is always diverse, relevant and persuasive.

Prof icient

Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate caref ully, objectively, and persuasively the relative meritsof alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values. Integrate this evaluative work intoa persuasive argument.

ABSENT OR BELOWBASIC

DEVELOPING

PROFICIENT

ADVANCED

ORGANIZATION

ABSENT OR BELOWBASIC

DEVELOPING

PROFICIENT

ADVANCED

LANG & DESIGN

ABSENT OR BELOWBASIC

DEVELOPING

PROFICIENT

ADVANCED

Fails to support claims with relevant reasoning and/or specif ic evidence. Objectivity,balance, and a controlling idea may be lacking.

Attempts to support claims with reasoning and evidence, but specif icity and/orobjectivity may be lacking. A controlling idea may be missing or implied. Objectivity andbalance may be weak or f lawed.

Usually supports the controlling idea and paragraph claims with relevant, thorough,and insightf ul reasoning and specif ic evidence. Usually maintains objectivity andbalance in argumentation.

Supports the controlling idea and paragraph claims with relevant, thorough, andinsightf ul reasoning and specif ic evidence. Maintains objectivity and balance inargumentation.

Prof icient

Organize, f ocus, and communicate one’s thoughts clearly and ef f ectively to address a rhetorical situation.

Organizational devices (controlling idea, headings, subheadings, topic sentences,transit ions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or illogically connected. Pscontain multiple topics or are disorganized.

Organizational devices (controlling idea, headings, subheadings, topic sentences,transit ions) f it the prompt, but may be vague, too broad, or inconsistenly or illogicallylinked. Ps may not be unif ied.

Clear organizational devices (controlling idea, headings, subheadings, topicsentences, transit ions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and topics together adequately.Ps are usually unif ied.

Clear, specif ic organizational devices (thesis, topic sentences, headings, transit ions)f it the prompt and tie ideas and topics together logically and seamlessly. Paragraphsare unif ied.

Advanced

Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express andinf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensit ivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.

Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Lanuage may ref lecta gender or cultural bias. Design may be unconventional and inef f ective.

Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors of ten impede readability or otherwisedistract f rom meaning. Lanuage may occasionally suggest a gender or cultural bias.Design may be inconventional or inef f ective.

Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rommeaning. Lanuage respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is conventionaland ef f ective.

Outstanding control of language, including ef f ective diction and sentence variety.

Lanuage respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is conventional andef f ective.