Do Now…….

• In your notebook, write a couple of sentences explaining why relationships end.

We know that the end of relationships can be painful and scarring

1. Agree/Disagree

• Indicate whether you agree or disagree with the 8 statements (or are in between).

Facts…

• Women end relationships more often than men

• Marriages w/younger partners = unstable

• Early parenthood may divorce • Marriages b/w couples from

lower economic groups = more unstable

• Marriages b/w ppl w/divorced parents or w/more sexual partners before marriage = more unstable

The BREAKUP!!!!!

IB Learning Objective:Analyze why relationships may change or end

Triangular Theory of Loveby Robert Sternberg

Love has 3 components:1. intimacy (feeling close,

connected, and bonded)2. passion (romance and

physical and sexual attraction)

3. commitment (desire to maintain the relationship in spite of adversity and costs).

Analyze why relationships may change or end

Triangular Theory of Loveby Robert Sternberg

• Partners begin to develop an interdependent relationship from the beginning of their relationship and they gradually increase their mutual involvement.

• Successful couples tend to develop more commitment and intimacy over time than less successful couples.

Analyze why relationships may change or end

Analyze why relationships may change or end

Characteristics of happy and unhappy couples

Buunk (1998)Happy couples• Express their feelings

openly and disclose their thoughts.

• Show affection and understanding of each others’ feelings (empathy and perspective taking).

Unhappy couples• Show conflict-avoidance

(e.g. not wanting to discuss problems).

• Demonstrate soothing (ignoring or covering up differences).

• Take part in destructive communication (e.g. criticizing, disagreeing, complaining).

Analyze why relationships may change or end

Analyze why relationships may change or end

Equity theory

• According to equity theory there must be a balance between the two partners in a relationship, i.e. the relationship should be perceived as fair.

• Inputs and outputs• People compare their own

gains compared to that of the partner’s and may look for alternatives if they are not satisfied.

Analyze why relationships may change or end

Investment model of commitment (theory)Rusbult et al. (1991)

• Suggested that accommodation is an important strategy to maintain a relationship (i.e. ensure longevity of the relationship).

• Accommodation means that a person is willing to adopt a constructive approach and inhibit the impulse to react destructively (i.e. retaliation) when a partner displays destructive behavior.

Analyze why relationships may change or end

Accommodation = Idealization

• Murray and Holmes (1997) found that over time partners in committed relationships created “positive illusions” of their partners.

• The idealization of the partner was positively associated with relationship satisfaction and fewer conflicts.

Analyze why relationships may change or end

Accommodation = Idealization

• Confidence in the partner seems to foster a sense of trust and security (secure attachment), which in turn promotes accommodation in conflicts.

• Idealization could also be a potential threat to a relationship if the partner cannot live up to the high expectations.

Analyze why relationships may change or end

Longitudinal study on development oflove over time

• Sprecher (1999)Aim :• To investigate whether

people in close relationships reported increased love over time.

• The second aim was to study how beliefs about relationships could change.

Longitudinal study on development oflove over time

Procedure • A self-selected sample of 101

romantic heterosexual student couples was surveyed five times over four years.

• Each time they completed questionnaires to measure love, commitment, and satisfaction.

• They were also asked to report changes since previous surveys.

• Only 41% of the couples were together at the end of the study.

Longitudinal study on development oflove over time

Results• Individuals in intact

relationships said they felt an increase in love, commitment, and satisfaction over time but this was not supported by the data in the questionnaires.

• This indicates that happy couples wanted to see increases in positive affect (positive illusions).

Longitudinal study on development oflove over time

• Individuals in broken relationships were likely to say they felt a decrease in commitment, love, and satisfaction in the time before the break-up.

• Satisfaction decreased the most in this group. This suggests that people end their relationships because of dissatisfaction rather than the disappearance of love.

Longitudinal study on development oflove over time

• The results support the idea of “positive illusions” as beneficial for a relationship.

Evaluation • The study was conducted

with a sample of young students in the USA so it may not be possible to generalize the findings.

• Self-reports may be biased.