Do Men & Women Really Negotiate Differently?: Communication and Gender Issues in the Workplace

Medical College of Wisconsin

May 4, 2005

Sarah L. Bonewits

Communication & Gender Issues in the Workplace Negotiation & Gender Research on Gender Differences

Socialization Carol Gilligan Moral Reasoning Language Use

Organizational Implications of Gender Rationality vs. Emotionality Systemic issues

Seeking Productive Responses

A case in salary

You are offered a job for 88,000 with a bonus of 6,000 which is slightly below what you would expect for the position. Two of your friends and colleagues have received job offers for a similar position but with a salary of 94,000 and a one time starting bonus of 10,000. You are told that the average starting salary for your position is 90,000. You have a verbal, undisclosed offer for a higher salary but at an organization that is not as attractive – what do you do?

Women, Men & Negotiation (Barron, 2003)

3 Themes in Negotiation Styles

Worth

Entitlement

Proving self

Worth

Know my worth Men 85% Women 15%

Unsure of my worth Men 17% Women 83%

Entitlement

Entitled to more than others Men 70% Women 30%

Entitled to the same as others Men 29% Women 71%

Proving Self

Prove myself in negotiation Men 64% Women 36%

Prove myself on the job Men 17% Women 83%

Gender & Negotiation

Men focus more on monetary worth while women focus on character

Men advocate for self while women advocate for others

Explaining Gender Differences Socialization

Gendered expectations learned at play How we reward men vs. women (e.g.,

assertiveness)

Men’s Culture vs. Women’s Culture (Deborah Tannen) Expect men to be agentic, task oriented, self

assertive; women to be communal, socially oriented, and selfless (Wade, 2001)

Process orientation vs. Goal orientation (Julia Wood)

Carol Gilligan’s Ethic of Care

Gender Differences in Language Use

Women Rapport talk – relationships Talk about private matters

(family relational problems, other women, men, clothing)

More detailed color terms Weaker expletives (oh my) More qualifiers,

disclaimers, and tag questions

Polite forms of speech Ask more questions Minimal responses

encourage talk Disclose more and receive

more disclosure

Men Report talk – content,

decision making Talk about public matters

(e.g., sports, news) Use stronger expletives Fewer qualifies disclaimers,

and tag questions Interrupt more Make more statements Respond to women using

delayed minimal responses that discourage interaction (oh, right)

Initiate topics more often Tell more jokes Disclose less

Who Gets Heard? (Tannen, 1995)

One up, one down Asking questions Apologies Orientation toward “ritual”

opposition Indirectness

Implications of Organizational Structure & Practice Reasonable man standard

Rationality vs. Emotionality

Women in leadership positions Structure that supports the style Work/life choices

Enabling Response

Negotiation training

“Critical mass” of women

Recognizing “gender triggers”

Work yet to be done…