Do I Really Want God

8/13/2019 Do I Really Want God

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Do I Really Want God?

Above the altar in each of the chapels of the Sisters of Charity, the order founded

by Mother Teresa, there are two simple words that tell the story of who they are: I

thirst. What do those words mean? For what do they thirst?The words are those of esus, recorded in the nineteenth chapter of ohn!s "ospel,

as he hun# upon the cross, $ust moments before his death% ohn tells us esus uttered those

words &to fulfill the scripture%' Mother Teresa found in those two simple words the depthof esus! desire% For what did esus thirst? For the will of his Father: the salvation of

souls% esus thirsts for the hearts of men and women%

Mother Teresa was moved to respond to those words% She was set aflame with

love for esus% She felt compelled to (uench esus! thirst for souls% She inspired a small,yet #rowin# army of men and women to ma)e a personal response to esus, to #ive their

whole lives as a #ift to him% Stirred by a lon#in# to (uench esus! thirst they!ve set off

across the face of the earth to find souls for Christ amon# the poorest of the poor, amon#

the for#otten and outcast% Their thirst for esus defines who they are* it #uides all theirdaily activity% +ven the simplest most mundane tas)s become opportunities to epress

their thirst for esus% They )now who they are and what they want%

The Essence of the Christian Life

Mother Teresa!s life stood out li)e a lamp burnin# in the ni#ht% She had an

etraordinary impact on most everyone she met% -n ./00 my wife 1ebbie, our five month

old son Michael and -, attended a Catholic conference on the family in 2onn, "ermany% -

was one of forty spea)ers scheduled for the conference% There were almost five thousandpeople in attendance at each session% The conference had a very academic orientation to

it, with an impressive cast of scientists, philosophers and clerics who read lon#, oftenvery borin# papers on )ey issues impactin# the family% The wee) moved alon# withcharacteristic "erman efficiency, but with little passion or movement of the heart%

All that chan#ed when the final spea)er, Mother Teresa entered the room% She

wal)ed sli#htly hunched over, shufflin# her feet down the center isle, with a few of hersisters in tow% The entire room stood up and the atmosphere of the place suddenly

chan#ed% Around the room - could see people everywhere ma)in# the si#n of the cross,

and many of them wept% She hadn!t even said a word, hadn!t even reached the sta#e, and

it seemed as thou#h an arrow had been shot into the heart of everyone present% We all)new, without sayin# a word, that an intimate friend of esus had entered the room, and

that somehow he was with her in a special way% -t was a reali3ation beyond words, an

eperience of holiness, and it carried with it a power that far eceeded the combinedimpact of the forty presentations we all had endured throu#h the wee)%

As - watched her climb the steps to ta)e her seat at the center of the sta#e - felt an

ama3in# peace in my heart% She be#an to spea) and - was immediately struc) by thecontrast between her words and the words we had presented durin# the wee)% 4ers were

so very simple, ours were comple* she said very little, we said too much% 4er words

immediately penetrated our hearts* our words briefly touched the mind and were easily

for#otten% There was a power in her words, not only to inform, but also to transform all


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who were listenin#* she spo)e with authority and we offered well5informed opinions% 4er

words had power primarily because of who she was% An impressive public relations team

or a mar)etin# machine didn!t accompany her% There were no hi#h5tech li#hts, sounds orsmo)e to ensure that she would have a lar#er5than5life impact on the crowd% -t was

simply Teresa of Calcutta, a disciple of esus Christ6 the real deal% She was a livin#

eample of what esus can do with a human heart and a life #iven wholly to him%Seein# Mother Teresa #ave me hope% +ven thou#h she seemed to be li#ht5

years ahead of me on the road to holiness, - felt a deep conviction that she embodied a

crucial fact esus didn!t want me to miss: holiness is real and it is possible, for anyonewho wants it% esus promised that very thin# in his Sermon on the Mount: &2lessed are

those who hun#er and thirst for ri#hteousness,for they shall be satisfied%' 7Mt% 8:9

esus had called Mother Teresa many years earlier, when she was an un)nown,

livin# in obscurity $ust li)e the rest of us% The invitation she heard was to thirst, to pursueesus with hun#er and passion, to yearn for a relationship with him and to accept

whatever that meant% She )new, li)e all of us, that she was called to be holy: &;ou,

therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect%' 7Mt% 8:


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stran#er yet esus )nows the most intimate details about her life% She is livin# with a man

who is not her husband, and she had five husbands before him% She is stunned by his

insi#ht%esus initiates their conversation by as)in# the woman for a drin)% She is

surprised that a man, a ewish man in particular, would spea) to her at all% esus responds

to her by sayin#, &-f you )new the #ift of "od, and who it is that is sayin# to you, >"iveme a drin),! you would have as)ed him and he would have #iven you livin# water%'

The conversation about water, and (uenchin# one!s thirst, creates the opportunity

for esus to help her see the hidden desires of her heart% -n essence esus is sayin#, &if youunderstood your own desires, what it is you really thirst for, you would not see) to

(uench that thirst in relationships with men that leave you dry, wounded and empty%'

i)e many of us, the Samaritan woman is attemptin# to satisfy her thirst for love

in all the wron# places% She fails to see &the #ift of "od' in her life% She doesn!tunderstand her own spiritual hun#er% esus tells her that there is a thirst within that no

water nor multitude of intimate relationships with men can satisfy: &+very one who

drin)s of this water will thirst a#ain, but whoever drin)s of the water that - shall #ive him

will never thirst* the water that - shall #ive him will become in him a sprin# of waterwellin# up to eternal life%' 7n


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Dra"in# the $attle Lines

The secular culture is drawin# a line in the sand% They are intentionally ma)in# it

more difficult for Christians to brin# their worldview into the public s(uare% Any attempt

to do so is met with a rabid opposition and public accusations of intolerance and ri#ht5win# fundamentalism%

We are livin# at a time when the battle is heatin# up% -t costs somethin# to be a

disciple of esus at a time li)e this% Whatever neutral #round may have eisted durin# thefriendlier days of Christendom, is now #one% There is no lon#er any Christian consensus

in our culture to &carry' someone alon#% -t!s a time of decision%

Failin# to decide, in a free, conscious and total way, to place one!s loyalty at the

feet of esus, will ultimately lead one to oppose him% -f we avoid such a decision we willdrift with the wider culture and will eventually start bearin# its fruit% We will find

ourselves promotin# values in direct opposition to the Hin#dom of "od%

-t!s that very thin# that is bein# revealed in the cler#y se scandal and the wider

crisis of discipleship in the Gnited States% At its most fundamental level, the cler#y sescandal is a #rotes(ue epression of infidelity, of unfaithfulness and disloyalty to Christ%

-t is a failure to live the life esus re(uires of all those who wish to be called his disciples%The scandal has, without doubt, produced the lar#est public crisis in the history

of the Catholic Church in the Gnited States% ;et as shoc)in# as the scandal has been, it is

only one eample of a much broader and deeper &crisis of discipleship' that is #rippin#the Church in our time%

=n the eve of World ;outh 1ay IBBI in Toronto, GSA Today interviewed a

number of students from "eor#etown Gniversity and a few other prominent Catholic

schools in the northeast% The students were as)ed what they thou#ht about ope ohnaul --% To a person, they all said they admired him, particularly for his commitment to

the poor and for his hi#h sensitivity to environmental issues% 2ut in the same breath, they

all said he was dead wron# on issues such as premarital se, birth control, homoseuality,divorce and &a woman!s ri#ht to choose%' The point of the article was to say that youn#

Catholics, thou#h they li)e ohn aul --, have no problem openly disa#reein# with his

teachin# on a whole set of )ey moral issues% They represent a new )ind of Catholicism,where people no lon#er simply ta)e what is #iven to them, but instead are free to pic) and

choose accordin# to their own li#hts% 1iscipleship for these students meant decidin# for

themselves what they will or will not accept as truth% Fidelity to Christ is reduced to the

radically sub$ective criteria of bein# &true to oneself%' -n essence, followin# esus meanswhatever - want it to mean% - set the terms of the relationship%

Accordin# to a number of recent studies, the attitude of these students is no

different than the wider adult Catholic population in the Gnited States% -n an A2C @ewsand Washin#ton ost poll, the attitudes of Catholics toward certain moral (uestions were

compared to those of the wider American population% 2oth parties were as)ed if they

considered certain behaviors &acceptable%' The results are soberin#% Sity5seven percentof Catholics polled considered &premarital se' acceptable% The non5Catholic 7Americans

in #eneral response was identical% Forty5ei#ht percent of Catholics polled considered

&homoseual relations' acceptable, but only forty5five percent of the wider population

found it acceptable% The poll included a number of other )ey (uestions, and each of them,


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li)e the two mentioned, show little or no statistical difference between Catholics and the

wider population%

Those results correspond directly to another study done by Alan Wolfe, asociolo#ist from 2oston Colle#e, who sou#ht to determine who is winnin# the battle

between reli#ion and culture in the Gnited States% That is, who is disciplin# whom? -n his

boo), The Transformation of American Religion: How We Actually Live Our Faith, hepresents his ar#ument and concludes that, &in every aspect of reli#ious life, American

faith has met American culture6and American culture has triumphed%' The point he

ma)es is that the way Christians live in our culture is lar#ely indistin#uishable from thewider society%

@o doubt these are si#ns of a full5blown &crisis of discipleship%' These and other

indicators point to a lar#e numbers of Catholics who have completely lost touch with

what it means to be a disciple of esus Christ% 1isciples of esus are to be the li#ht of theworld, to be set apart, to be different because they live hislife, they communicate his

truth, not their own sub$ective preferences% A disciple of esus has consciously renounced

his personal preferences* he has freely surrendered any claim to determinin# his &own

truth%' St% aul understood clearly what it meant to be a disciple:

&- have been crucified with Christ and - no lon#er live, but Christ lives in me% Thelife - live in the body, - live by faith in the Son of "od, who loved me and #ave himself

up for me%' 7"alatians I:IB

&For Christ!s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and

therefore all died% %nd he died for all& that those "ho li'e should no lon#er li'e forthe(sel'es )ut for hi( "ho died for the( and "as raised a#ain%' 7I Cor 8:.


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ambitions, dreams, time, possessions, and so on% -f we fail to accept fully the criteria

esus has laid down for us, the conse(uences are clear:

&-f anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and

children, his brothers and sisters6yes, even his own life6he cannot be my disciple% And

anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple%' 7u)e .


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resist &the many trials to which today!s world sub$ects faith' is to be vi#ilant and alert,

and to consciously see) the #race and power of the 4oly Spirit% The 4oly Spirit is the

only antidote to the powerful temptations and enticement of the world% When we see) theord esus from our depths, with a true hun#er and thirst, he fills our heart with new

dynamism and power% 4e satisfies our thirst so we don!t need to fall prey to the &allure of

substitutes%'esus told his disciples that he &came that they may have life, and have it

abundantly%' 7n .B:.B 4e came to satisfy the deepest desires of the human heart% =nly

a satisfied heart can say no to temptation% And only a heart that see)s "od will besatisfied%

Without the help of the 4oly Spirit we are left to stru##le a#ainst the world with

our own resources% We (uic)ly #row weary of the stru##le, and the Christian life

becomes a burden% -nstead of a dynamic, abundant life, Christianity is reduced to aborin#, laborious life of moral strivin# that leaves us unsatisfied% We eventually lose our

taste for "od and the thin#s of "od% We become bored, indifferent to his call, and slowly

be#in to push esus to the periphery of our life% We simply for#et "od%

1issatisfied, we inevitably see) alternatives% The world stands ready with aseemin#ly endless array of distractions and thrill see)in# to provide the escape we so

desperately desire6 power, money, se, fashion, fame, dru#s, spiritual eperiences,material ac(uisitions, and the possibility of a life of uninterrupted entertainment% As we

consume these alternatives we become dependent upon them and they be#in to define our

life% They shape the way we thin) and live% -n some cases, they become our very reasonfor bein#%

@one of these counterfeits can satisfy our deepest desires% At best they provide

temporary pleasure, distraction or a means of escape from the boredom and

meanin#lessness of our lives% That!s why we always need more% The sta##erin#proliferation of porno#raphy in our country provides a soberin# ob$ect lesson% -!ve heard

many tra#ic stories of men who be#an with a simple periodic #lance at a porno#raphic

ma#a3ine or a mildly porno#raphic website% That simple moment of &escapism' becamethe doorway to an insatiable habit that eventually consumed them, and in some cases,

ruined their lives%

What were these men see)in#? "%H% Chesterton made a rather shoc)in# yetrevealin# statement that sheds further li#ht on our discussion: &+very man who )noc)s on

the door of a brothel is loo)in# for "od%'I At roc) bottom, the search for counterfeits, for

escapism and pleasure is a misdirected search for "od% Such a man does not )now his

own heart% 4is mind is dar)ened by sin* the ra#in# fire of his own lust easily deceiveshim% 4e cannot see nor hear the cry from the depth of his heart% 4e remains a stran#er to

himself, and in a pathetic, futile attempt to satisfy his deepest desires, he surrenders

himself to an ob$ect that cannot satisfy%-n the end, the central, most tra#ic element of this stru##le with the world is the

dethronement of "od as the center and source of meanin# in our lives% The Scripture

warns a#ainst this very thin#:

&1o not love the world or the thin#s in the world% -f any one loves the world, love

for the Father is not in him% For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of

I1% 1ooley, Collected Wor$s of %&'& Chesterton, -#natius ress, ./09%


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the eyes and the pride of life, is not of the Father but is of the world% And the world

passes away, and the lust of it* but he who does the will of "od abides forever%' 7. n

.:.8The warnin# is clear: to love the world and the thin#s of the world is death% The

&world' here is the entire system of values, attitudes, lifestyles, behaviors and institutions

that are set a#ainst "od and his Hin#dom% -f we love these thin#s, that is, if we clin# tothem, rely upon them, loo) to them for sustenance, find our identity in them, ma)e them

our &escape,' we will inherit their destiny: we will pass away with them%

2ut if we love the Father, and see) him with our whole heart, findin# our identityand sustenance in him, we will not only taste of his #oodness here and now, but we will

inherit what is his: eternal life%

What the Scripture is tellin# us is that we become what we love% -n the end, we

#et what we most want% &@o one can have a relish for "od and the worldsimultaneously%'-f we set aside the pursuit of "od, and thirst after the thin#s of the

world, we will #radually find ourselves opposin# "od and his Hin#dom: &1o you not

)now that friendship with the world is enmity with "od?' 7ames


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entertainment on a daily basis% Statistics show the national avera#e for television

consumption per wee) in the Gnited States is somewhere between twenty and thirty

hours% Twenty hours a wee)DThe roc) bottom answer to the (uestion, &why don!t we pray?' is simple: we

don!t want to% We!d rather do somethin# else% We prefer the consolation in entertainment

and other distractions to the discipline of prayer and #rowin# in our relationship with"od% That decision and it is a decision, whether we reco#ni3e it as such or not, has

profound conse(uences on our life as disciples% As St% aul reminds us: &The point is this:

he who sows sparin#ly will also reap sparin#ly, and he who sows bountifully will reapbountifully%' 7I Cor /:9

We don!t )now esus and his will for us* we don!t eperience the $oy, thrill and

hi#h adventure of true discipleship because we don!t want to% We sow sparin#ly in our

relationship with him% We are stin#y with our time and attention% As a result we reapsparin#ly% We do not eperience the bounty he loves to bestow on those who see) him%

-nstead, we eperience boredom, indifference, na##in# feelin#s of #uilt and we are

unable to lay hold of his will for our lives% esus remains a distant stran#er, a $ud#e or a

harsh tas)master% The Christian life becomes a burden%1ecisions have conse(uences% =ur simple decision not to pray bears unavoidable

fruit: &1o not be deceived* "od is not moc)ed, for whatever a man sows, that he will alsoreap% For he who sows to his flesh will from the flesh reap corruption* but he who sows to

the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life%' 7"al 9:J50

Many people say they don!t li)e to pray or to #o to Church because they &don!t#et anythin# out of it%' The reason we don!t #et anythin# out of it is that we don!t put

much into itD esus will (uench the pallet of those who #enuinely thirst% Those who lon#

and yearn for the ord will find him% The #race to be holy, to enter into a deep,

relationship with "od is there all the time% What we have to remember is that itsdevelopment, its #rowth, depends on how #enerously - want to respond to it, on how

much - really want it%

-t!s a matter of desire% ursuin# the call of esus is costly% -t re(uires discipline,sacrifice and a persistent desire% -t doesn!t always come easy% -n our modern world we are

accustomed to immediate results, tan#ible evidence of our investment% The hard wor) and

persistence re(uired in the pursuit of "od can be fri#htenin# and discoura#in#% ;et ifwe!re honest with ourselves, we can admit to ma)in# sacrifices everyday for thin#s we

want% The athlete who trains for a marathon ma)es lon#, hard and unceasin# sacrifice to

reach his desired #oal% -f we all pursued esus and his will for our lives with the sin#le5

minded devotion, willin#ness to sacrifice, hi#h ener#y and nearly limitless passion thatsome men on Wall Street pursue their fortunes, we would become a world of saints%

esus tells us: &1o not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and

rust consume and where thieves brea) in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures inheaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves brea) in and steal% For

where your treasure is, there will your heart be also%' 7Mt 9:./5I.

What is it that you treasure most? -dentify what it is you most treasure and youwill find your heart!s desire% To be a disciple is to have esus alone as &my chosen

portion and my cup%' 7s .9:8 4e is &the treasure hidden in the field' and &the pearl of

#reat price%' 7Mt .:


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treasure, he will then possess what he most see)s: our hearts% And when he has our

hearts, our hearts will rest, we will taste, in the depths of our bein# the fulfillment of his

promise: &Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and - will #ive you rest% Ta)emy yo)e upon you , and learn from me* for - am #entle and lowly of heart, and you will

find rest for your souls%' 7Mt ..:I05B

Drin!in# fro( the Well

Where is your heart today? 1o you thirst for esus and his will in your life? 1o

you want to put esus at the center of your life? -f so, the followin# su##estions can help

you:

.% $e honestwith yourself and with esus% -f you lac) the desire to

pursue him, tell him%

I% %s! *esus to #i'e you the desire to desire hi(% We cannot create the

desire with our own willpower and resources* we need to ac)nowled#e ourneed for his help%

% Re+ent% -f we have )ept esus at a distance we need to ac)nowled#e itand see) his for#iveness% To repent simply means to chan#e direction, to

turn our hearts toward esus and the direction of his Hin#dom% -f you!ve

never fully surrendered your heart to him, that is the place to start% ;oucan do that by (uietly turnin# to esus ri#ht now and prayin# a simple

prayer li)e the followin#:

&ord esus, - want to )now you personally% - admit that - havebro)en my relationship with you throu#h my sins% Than) you for

dyin# for my sins so that our relationship can be restored% - open

the door of my heart and ac)nowled#e you as my Savior and ord%1irect my life and help me become the person you want me to be%

Amen%'


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Do I Really Want God

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