Discussion Questions from TOTAL PARDON

8/2/2019 Discussion Questions from TOTAL PARDON

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From the book TOTAL PARDON, An Extraordinary Love Story by Wil and Linda Yazzie with Jodie Randisi

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DISCUSSION QUESTIONSby Jodie Randisi

CHAPTER ONE

1.2 SAFE HAVEN Experts agree, childrenneed to feel safe. What do you consider to be asafe haven? What makes it safe?

1.2. EXPECTATIONS What expectations doothers have of you that make you uncomfortableor bring up feelings of resentment?

1.3. NURTURE Who nurtures you? What are your gifts?

1.4. DIVORCE/POVERTY Has divorce orpoverty affected your childhood? Has divorce orpoverty affected someone you know?

CHAPTER TWO

2.1. BAD PARENTS “Even bad parents are

better than no parents.” Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Explain.

2.2. CHANGE When a family experiences amajor change, such as separation due to death,divorce or deployment, is there any way toprevent further harm?

Continued on Page 2

BONUS GIFT FOR LIKING TOTAL PARDON on FACEBOOK

T H E B O O K A V A I L A B L E N O W

P AP E R B AC K O R K I N D LE

Why would a squeaky clean evangelical Christian

woman from Ohio fall madly in love with a hopeless

alcoholic Native American ex-con with the last known

address of Skid Row, USA? Her idyllic childhood was

plagued with illness, yet filled with unconditional love and

support. His childhood was splintered by divorce, plagued

by poverty, fueled by superstition and filled with

disappointment. Two individuals could not be more

different, yet Wil Yazzie and Linda Amyx married each

other not once - but twice.

An inmate who starts out a pen pal and ends up a

husband—there's a lot that could go wrong in that

situation. Strangers who become lovers because they bared

their souls to one another in a string of me-then-you, you-

then-me chain letters...come on! It's completely romantic,

or it's a scam. The notion of falling in love through letter

writing is sketchy territory, but in Wil and Linda's case, it

turned out to be sacred territory. What began as a casual

voyeuristic peek into another person's life turned into an

unpredictable mixture of extreme heartache and

extraordinary blessing. When two people find unexpected

tenderness, vulnerability and true love behind prison bars,

the relationship is not only rare, it's fascinating!

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2.3. BONDS What bonds are sacredto you?

CHAPTER THREE

3.1. ABUSE Whether the abuse issexual, verbal or physical, children aredeeply affected. What can a child do tocope?

3.2. TRUST What kind of incidentsmight cause you to have trust issues?

3.3. CRAVING What do you crave?What do you think triggers cravings?

3.4. BELIEFS What beliefs do you

allow to control you?

3.5. ESCAPE What makes you wantto escape?

3.6. NORMAL What is yourdefinition of normal? What do youaccept as normal that other peoplemight not accept as normal?

3.7. VOWS What vows have you madeand kept? What vows have you broken?

CHAPTER FOUR

4.1. MOTIVATION Actions are justified by motives. What action have you taken as the result of a specificmotivation? Explain.

4.2. ADDICTIONS Often oneaddiction brings with it another.Addictions can start in childhood. If

you had (or have) an addiction (not anobsession) that started in childhood,describe how it started. If you wereable to overcome an addiction, explain

how you were able to overcome yourcompulsion.

4.3. MIRACLES Have youexperienced a miracle? Describe whathappened and how it affected you.

4.4 PROMISES Has anyone evermade a promise to you and broken it?How did that affect your relationship?

4.5. PAIN Do you feel as thoughsomeone owes you and should pay forthe pain they've caused you?

CHAPTER FIVE

5.1. ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOR Howdoes a person act when they arefeeding their addiction?

5.2. SELF IMAGE How you see yourself makes a difference. What do you do to boost your self-esteem?

5.3. FRIENDS Bad charactercorrupts good character. Do you agreewith that statement? Explain.

5.4 GEOGRAPHY Do you think achange of geography (living arrangements) can help a personovercome challenges?

CHAPTER SIX

6.1. LONELINESS Do you find that you retreat into solitude on purpose? If

so, does that good or bad? Describehow loneliness affects you.

6.2. SIN Do you believe sinfulbehaviors can control people like amaster controls a slave?

6.3 CARING ADULTS Who aresome of the most caring people youknow? What have you noticed aboutthem that indicates they are influencing people in positive ways?

6.4. ESCALATION Do you agree

with the statement that addictivebehaviors escalate? Explain.

6.5 TIRED OF IT What behaviorshave you grow tired of, and what did

you replace them with?

CHAPTER SEVEN

7.1. FRUSTRATION When you getfrustrated, do you behave badly? Have

you tried to find ways of coping so youdo not react poorly when things do notwork out the way you had hoped?

7.2. SUCCESS Describe the first time you felt successful.

7.3. EMOTIONAL FUEL Make alist of your emotions, good and bad.Try to identify what is the driving forcebehind them.

7.4. "FRIENDS" Have you ever hadfriends use you to get what they want?

Have you ever been that kind of afriend?

7.5. INDIANS On a scale of one toten, how well informed are you when itcomes to Native Americans? Use twoscales, one for U.S. and NativeAmerican history and one for NativeAmerican customs.

CHAPTER EIGHT

8.1. MENTORS Have you hadmentors in your life? If so, describe the

relationship. If not, describe what youimagine a good mentor to be like.

8.2. GETTING CAUGHT Have youever been caught doing the wrong thing? If so, how did you react? Didgetting caught change you?

8.3. REJECTION Have you everbeen rejected? If so, how did youhandle it?

8.4. SHATTERED DREAMS Do youhave dreams for your life? Have any of

your dreams been destroyed? If so, dida person (or group of people) destroythem, or did a particular set of circumstances ruin your aspirations?Explain.

Continued on Page 3







CHAPTER NINE

9.1. ILLNESS Have you everexperienced a life threatening illness or

known someone who has? If you werediagnosed with a serious illness, howwould you cope?

9.2. VISIONS Have you everexperienced a dream, or had a visionthat affected you so deeply that it is stillwith you today? Have you shared it, orwould you share it with others?

9.3. PRAYER Do you know if anyonehas ever prayed for you? If so, how did

you find out? How do you feel aboutsomeone praying for you?

9.4. JESUS Who is Jesus to you?

9.5. FAVORITE THINGS Name tenof your favorites things. Have any of

your favorite things carried over from your childhood?

CHAPTER TEN

10.1. HOME LIFE Would you say your home life was good? Describe your childhood using only three

adjectives. Describe your present homelife using only three adjectives.

10.2. BAD NEWS What do you dowhen you receive bad news?

10.3. BAD TEACHER Have you everhad a terrible teacher? If so, whatmade them a bad instructor?

10.4. FAITH As a child, did you havefaith in God? If so, how strong was

your faith? If not, do you wish thatsomeone had provided religious

instruction?

CHAPTER ELEVEN

11.1. PEERS Do you influence yourpeers, or do your peers mostlyinfluence you?

11.2. HABITS Do you have habitsthat you fall back into simply becausethey are comfortable? What are they?

Are your habits mostly constructive ordestructive?

11.3. PREMATURE DEATH Have you ever lost someone you cared aboutand realized his or her death waspremature?

11.4. FIRST JOB Describe your first job. What did you learn from your first job?

11.5. DERELICTS What is yourimpression of derelicts—alcoholics,

drug addicts, drug dealers, homelesspeople?

11.6. UNDER-AGED DRINKINGWhat is your opinion about under-ageddrinking? At what age do you feelpeople should be allowed to drink legally?

11.7. TOUGH TIMES How do you view tough times? Do you consider your challenges as opportunities tobuild character, or do you self-medicate?

CHAPTER TWELVE

12.1. PROTECTION Have you everbeen protected? If so, what were youprotected from, who protected you andhow were you protected?

12.2. LIVING HELL Have you everbeen trapped in what felt like a living hell? Did you have any way of escaping?

12.3. POINT OF NO RETURNHave you ever reached a "point of noreturn" and had to keep going? Inother words, have you ever pursuedsomething even when you knew theresults weren't going to be good?

12.4. SCARED Have you ever beenso scared that you were forced to makea significant change?

12.5. RIGHT AND WRONG In your life, has the line between right andwrong ever become fuzzy or hard todecipher? If so, can you describe thecircumstances?

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

13.1. CHAOS Have you ever had todeal with the chaos someone elsecreated and left behind? Have you evercreated chaos for someone else to dealwith?

13.2. MERRY GO ROUND Have you ever been caught in a cycle, or felttrapped in circumstances that seemedimpossible to overcome?

13.3. UNTHINKABLE Has anything unthinkable happened to you?

13.4. LESSONS NOT LEARNEDCould you describe a lesson or two that

you were taught but didn't learn?Exclude academic examples.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

14.1. GANGS Have you or a lovedone ever been affected (or terrorized)by a gang or a gang member?

14.2. WON'T HAPPEN Have youever thought "it won't happen to me"?

14.3. FIGHTING Have you everbeen involved in a fight? What, if anything, is a good reason to physicallyattack someone?

14.4. ANGELS Have you ever hadthe impression that you've seen or hadcontact with an angel?

14.5. WRONGFULLY ACCUSEDHave you or a loved one ever beenwrongfully accused?

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14.6. REPUTATION Do you have areputation? What things have you doneto create your reputation? Can you

describe your reputation as others viewit?

14.7. HARD HEART Would you say you are hard-hearted about somethings? If so, what?

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

15.1. SUPPORTERS Who are yoursupporters and how do they support

you?

15.2. THRILLS What do you do for

thrills?

15.3. CONSEQUENCES List fivebehaviors (actions) that have animmediate consequence. List fivebehaviors that have a definiteconsequence but are somewhatdelayed. Can do you do things thathave no consequence whatsoever?

15.4. GIVING UP Have you ever feltlike giving up and known it was theright thing to do?

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

16.1. LIFE WITH MEANING Can you describe a life with meaning?16.2. HERITAGE Describe yourheritage. How important is family to

you?

16.3. SUPERNATURAL Hasanything happened to you that youcould label supernatural?

16.4. CLANS Who are your people?Do you respect all the members of

your "tribe"?

16.5. BAD DECISIONS Out of allthe bad decisions you've ever made,which one was the worst? Can youdescribe how it affected you? Did anyof your bad decisions affect otherpeople?

16.6. STRIPPED Have you ever beenstripped of possessions, reputation,income, self-esteem?

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

17.1. NAIVE Have you ever beencalled naive? If so, would you agreewith that assessment?

17.2. DATING What are yourthoughts about dating?

17.3. SOUL MATES Do you believein soul mates?

17.4. OBEY YOUR PARENTS Do you obey your parents? If not, whynot? If so, are there exceptions when

you would not abide by their decisions?

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

18.1. DIVINE APPOINTMENTSHave you ever experiencedcoincidences and then thought theymight have actually been divineappointments? Do you believe thingshappen for a reason?

18.2. BELIEVING IN YOURSELFDo you believe in yourself ? If so, have

you always had good self-esteem? If not, what would have to happen before

you could believe in yourself?

18.3. DECEIVING YOURSELFHave you ever deceived yourself intobelieving something that was not true?

CHAPTER NINETEEN

19.1. ROMANCE What is yourdefinition of romance?

19.2. SCAMS Have you ever been a victim of (or been involved in) a scam?

19.3. JUDGE OF CHARACTERAre you a good or bad judge of character?

19.4. OPPOSITES ATTRACT Do you believe it's true that oppositesattract? If so, is it a good thing?

19.5. INSPIRE OTHERS Have youever inspired someone? Explain.

19.6. ATTRACTIVE What do youconsider attractive?

CHAPTER TWENTY

20.1. FIRST IMPRESSIONS Do youmake a good first impression? Do youthink making a good first impression isimportant?

20.2. PLANNING FOR THEFUTURE Do you make plans for thefuture? If not, why not? If you think planning for the future is important, do

you put your plans in writing, and if so,how far into the future do you plan— one year, five years, ten years? Have

you ever thought about writing yourobituary?

20.3. PLEASING OTHERS Do youlive to please others, or yourself ?

20.4. GOOD INTENTIONS Do you

have good intentions but bad ideas?

20.5. EDUCATION Do you believeeducation makes a difference? Would

you agree with the statement thatinferior education is to blame for mostof society's problems?

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

21.1. TIMING IS EVERYTHINGWould you agree with the statementthat timing is everything?

21.2. BACKSLIDING When aperson backslides and falls into sinfulbehavior, do you automaticallycondemn them, or do you try to helpthem? If you were an addict, how do

you think you might react when and if someone tried to help you?

Continued on Page 5







21.3. TEMPTATIONS What tempts you? How do you handle temptation?Do you think it is wise to be heldaccountable when you are struggling?

21.4. SPIRALING Have you everspiraled out of control? If so, can youdescribe the circumstances?

21.5. BLINDERS Love covers amultitude of sins. Have you ever lovedsomeone so much that you willingly puton blinders so the relationship couldcontinue?

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

22.1. CHOICES Have you ever had ahard time choosing between right andwrong?

22.2. LOVED ONES Have you everdisappointed a loved one?

22.3. UNSHAKABLE BELIEFS Do you hold any beliefs that you considerto be unshakable? If so, what are they?Why are they important to you?

22.4. FOUNDATIONS Do you have

a strong foundation in life, one that isstable enough to build upon? If not,where are your weak links?

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

23.1. INSTITUTIONALIZED Do you know what it means when someonesays they feel institutionalized? Can youempathize or sympathize?

23.2. ACTIVIST Have you ever beenan activist? If so, explain yourmotivation for doing so.

23.3. DOUBLE LIFE Have you everfelt as if you are leading a double life?Do you know anyone who leads adouble life, and if so, do you think theyare happy?

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

24.1. SHELTERED LIFE Do youknow anyone who has led a shelteredlife? If so, do you treat them withrespect, or do you avoid them becausethey are different?

24.2. COMMUNICATE How do youprefer to communicate? If you weregoing to communicate something important, would do it verbally, or via aletter, text message or email?

24.3. FAVORITE BOOK Do youhave a favorite book? If so, what is it?Explain how and why it affected you.

24.4. GET SAVED When a Christianuses the phrase "get saved," does itbother or offend you?

24.5. ADVERSITY Does adversityslow you down or paralyze you, or doesadversity bring out the best in you?

24.6. HUMILITY Are you a humbleperson? Do you consider people to beweak (or strong) when they show signsof humility?

24.7. FAITHFUL Have you ever beenfaithful (or unfaithful) to a cause, aperson, or a calling?

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

25.1. RULER Are you the ruler of your own destiny? Do you let othersrule over you? If so, in what ways do

you let others control you?

25.2. DENIED Have you ever beendenied something, such as a job, apromotion, a loan, etc? How do you

react when you get the news that you'vebeen denied?

25.3. MARRIAGE What are your views on marriage?

25.4. LYING Have you ever lied toget what you wanted or needed?

25.5. GOOD LIFE Describe youridea of "the good life."

25.6. EMOTIONAL ABUSE Have you ever been the recipient of emotional abuse? Have you ever beenthe abuser?

25.7. FAIRY TALE DREAMS Have you ever had dreams so big that theyseemed unrealistic? Did you share themwith other people? If so, what was theirreaction?

25.8. BLAME Have you ever blamedothers for things you know were your

fault?

25.9. THINGS YOU CAN'TFORGET Make a list of the thingsthat happened to you that you couldnever forget. Include the moments in

your life that you will always remember.

25.10. SAVE A LIFE Have you eversaved someone's life?

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

26.1. POWER OF LOVE Do you

believe love changes people and/orcircumstances?

26.2. SHAME Have you ever beenshamed? If so, how did it affect you?

26.3. CONVICTIONS Do you haveconvictions that you hold dear to yourheart? Is there anything you believe inso strongly that you would give up yourlife for it?

26.4. COMMON GROUND Howimportant is it to you to have

something in common with people?Make a list of your family members,friends and co-workers. Next to theirname, write down things you have incommon.

26.5. HIGH POWER Do you believein a higher power? Explain.

Continued on Page 6







26.6. SECRET DESIRES Do youhave any secret desires?

26.7. MISTAKES Do you allow yourmistakes to define you? When you fail,do you give up, or do you try again?

26.8. ENEMIES Do you haveenemies? If someone hurts you, do youconsider him or her an enemy? If so,explain.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

27.1. DESPAIR Have you ever beenso desperate that you've done

something regrettable?

27.2. CONSUMED Have you everbeen consumed by something (orsomeone) wherein your life (orpersonality) became unbalanced?

27.3. ENABLERS Do you know anyenablers? Have you enabled someone,making it possible for them to behavein an unhealthy fashion?

27.4. CRY FOR HELP Have youever cried out for help? If so, did it

work? Explain.

27.5. ENSLAVED Do you know whatit feels like to be enslaved by anaddiction? Do you believe addicts canrecover?

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

28.1. CAREGIVERS Have you everbeen a full or part-time caregiver? If so, was it a positive or negativeexperience?

28.2. ENCOURAGEMENT Do youmostly give or receive encouragement?Explain.

28.3. REBUILDING A LIFE Have you ever been in the position to rebuild your life? Have you ever helpedsomeone rebuild his or her life?

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

29.1. UNWANTED Describe a time

when you felt unwanted.

29.2. MENTALLY ILL Do you haveany experience with people who arementally ill? If so, can you describehow you handled (or viewed) theirillness?

29.3. BULLIES Have you ever beenbullied? Have you ever come to therealization that you were (or are) thebully?

29.4. CHEATING DEATH Have you

ever been on the brink of death? If so,did it change you? Explain.

CHAPTER THIRTY

30.1. DEATH OF A LOVED ONEHave you lost a loved one? How did

you cope?

30.2. ISOLATED Have you ever feltisolated? Was your isolation physical,emotional or spiritual?

30.3. WORLDVIEW What is yourworldview? In other words, do youhave a certain philosophy of life thatinfluences everything you do?

30.4. PRETEND Have you everdiscovered that you pretend to besomeone other than yourself ? In otherwords, do people know the real you?

30.5. LEADERSHIP Have you everstarted a program, or opened abusiness, or taken a leadership positionof any kind?

30.6. ADVICE What is the best(worst) advice you've been given? Whatis the best (worst) advice you've given tosomeone?

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

31.1. ADMIRE What and whom do

you admire? Explain.

31.2. NEW DIRECTIONS Has yourlife ever taken a completely newdirection? Describe how it came about.

31.3. SPOTLIGHT Are youcomfortable in the spotlight? If so,under what circumstances?

31.4. ADVOCATE Are you anadvocate of something or someone?Explain.

31.5. TRIGGERS If you are (or havebeen) addicted to something, do youknow what your triggers are? What(sounds, sights, smells, situations,emotions) will activate your addiction?For example, is it hunger, anger,loneliness, fatigue, or is it a person,place, or thing? CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

32.1. BAND AIDS When a situationbecomes challenging, do you tend tofind a temporary, short-term solution (aband aid), or do you try to find a long-term, permanent solution?

32.2. ROCK BOTTOM Have youever hit rock bottom? Have you everfelt hopeless? Explain.

32.3. PLAYING GAMES Could youadmit to yourself and others that youhave "played games" instead of being agenuine person? Have you ever playedgames with God?

32.4. BIBLE STORIES Do you readthe Bible, and if so, do certain Biblestories impress you? Which Bible storieshave helped to shape you or havecaused you to consider things from adifferent perspective?

Continued on Page 7







CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

33.1. APOLOGIES Do you know thedifference between an artificial and a

sincere apology? Using a familiarsituation, can you give an example of both types of apologies? Have you everoffered a sincere apology and it was notaccepted? Have you ever been offeredan artificial apology?

33.2. FORGIVENESS Are you ableto extend and receive forgiveness? If not, why not?

33.3. REMARRIAGE What is youropinion on multiple marriages? Whatdo you think about people who

remarry each other?

33.4. COMMITMENT What kind of commitments do you make on aregular basis? Have you ever beenasked to make a commitment andrefused? Have you ever made acommitment and let someone down?Explain.

33.5. CALLING Do you know what itmeans to be called of God? Do youhave a calling from God? If so, do youshare it with others, or do you keep it

to yourself ?

33.6. STEPPING OUT ON FAITHHave you ever done something thatrequires a great deal of faith? If so,how did you come to have such faith?Explain.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

34.1. MEMORIES How do you dealwith unpleasant memories?

34.2. PURPOSE Do lead a purpose-driven life? If not, why not?

34.3. HEARING GOD Rather thanan audible voice, most people arecomfortable acknowledging that Godspeaks to them by making a distinctimpression in their hearts and minds,which they can then verbalize. HasGod ever spoken to you?

34.4. WITCHCRAFT Have you everbeen exposed to witchcraft? If so,

explain the situation and your response.

34.5. TABOOS Do you subscribe toany kind of taboos or superstitions(flawed thinking)? In other words, do

you find yourself thinking, IF _______ , THEN _______ will happenas a result?

34.6. SPIRITUAL WARFAREChristians believe God is good and hisenemy, Satan, is bad. As a result, thereis a constant battle for our eternal souls.Do you agree or disagree with this

statement?

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

35.1. LOVE "We are shaped andfashioned by what we love." Do youagree or disagree with this statement?Explain.

35.2. STAMINA What kind of staying power do you have with regardto your physical life? What kind of

stamina do you have with regard to your spiritual life?

35.3. COMPASSION Do you think people make improvements when theyare shown compassion? Is it more likelya someone will become a bad citizen if they have not experienced compassion?

35.4. PROMPTED Have you everhad an overwhelming feeling that cameupon you that caused you to dosomething or say something out of theordinary?

35.5. CULTURE How important is itfor you to retain your culture? Explain.

35.6. RESTORATION Do youbelieve God is involved whensomeone's reputation, damagedrelationship, or fortune is restored? Ordo you believe people are solelyresponsible for everything thathappens, good and bad?

35.7. RECOVERY PROGRAMS Dorecovery programs work? Why, or why

not?

35.8. DAILY HABITS Do you doanything on a daily basis that youconsider to be a healthy (unhealthy)habit?

TOTAL PARDON, An Extraordinary Love Story.

To order multiple copies, please contact Jodie Randisi at (843) 816-7883, or email

[email protected]

To contact Wil and Linda, please email

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