Difficult Discussions

8/3/2019 Difficult Discussions

1/3

Publication: The Economic Times Mumbai;Date: Jun 24, 2011;Section: Corporate Dossier;Page: 25

Difficult Discussions

WHEN THE STAKES ARE HIGH AND RELATIONSHIPS ARE ON THE

LINE, CONVERSATIONS CAN BE MINEFIELDSD I B E Y E N D U G A N G U LY

The chairman of a South Indian business house once asked Ganesh Shermon to intervene in a delicate situation where a group CEO was

having an affair with his secretary. As partner and country head of the human capital practice at KPMG India, Shermon has often been called

upon to troubleshoot for his clients, but this was an exceptional assignment. The open, wholly indiscreet affair was creating a stir in the

conservative organisation and the chairman was under some pressure to do something. But how do you broach such a subject with a high

performer, a star recruit from an MNC, a powerful personality in his own right? It was going to be a difficult conversation, calling for a clear-cut

strategy.

Shermon discussed the issue with his client at length and they agreed it was best not to approach it as a moral issue. "We decided I

would talk about the possible legal ramifications and the real danger of the CEO being charged with sexual harassment in the future. I wouldhave the preliminary discussion and the chairman would step in later," he says. Alas, the strategy didn't work. When Shermon broached the

subject, the CEO instantly fobbed him off. There was nothing to worry about, he said, because there was nothing going on. The issue was

undiscussable. The chairman, for his part, immediately balked at the prospect of taking up the matter and the situation reverted back to

status quo. "It's one thing giving negative feedback to an underdog. It's quite different when you're dealing with a politically well-connected

person or someone you don't want to lose," says Sherman.

When the stakes are high and relationships are on the line, conversations are a minefield. You never know when an emotional charge

might go off, hurting self-esteem, causing damage that may be irreparable. Santrupt Misra, director, HR, Aditya Birla Group, puts it

philosophically when he says, "Difficult conversations are a part of life. People often cope by brushing these difficult issues under the carpet,

not discussing them at all."

The most common problem conversation is the boss-subordinate one, where feedback is given both ways. Another is the inter-

departmental discussion on territorial conflicts. How do you tell a person from another department who is troubling you, to lay off ? There are

also the discuss ions on personal issues: how do you confront a colleague whose opinions and behaviour you find upsetting? And thenthere's the touchy issue of ethics. "Most senior executives sit in glass houses when it comes to honesty and integrity, so bringing up the

issue becomes really hard for them. The other person can turn the tables on you," says Shermon.

Which is why some organisations prefer to outsource difficult conversations. Who can forget George Clooney flying around the USA

terminating people for his c lients in 'Up In The Air'? Just watching the conversations on the screen was upsetting. How scary would it be like

in real life? "No one likes unpleasantness. So it's natural to be scared ahead of a difficult conversation. You need to prepare and rehearse. If

necessary, you could consult people who have experience," says Misra.

As CEO of Capgemini India, Aruna Jayanthi leads a workforce of 33,000 people and she's been through her share of emotional

conversations where there have been recriminations and tears. Since the workforce is young, personal issues easily get mixed up with work

and managers down the line are often ill-equipped to deal with it. As a result, it gets pushed up to senior levels. These days, unless a direct

report is involved, Jayanthi prefers to outsource difficult conversations to her HR department. "I don't see anything wrong with that. If the top

boss is involved, it only escalates the issue," she says.

Jayanthi has a reputation for being direct in her communication, prone to popping questions like 'are you happy in your job?'; something

many CEOs shy away from, lest it unleash a litany of complaints. Does it make a difference that she's a woman? "Women certainly are

more emotional," she says. "Men, on the other hand, are more guarded. I can handle emotional issues. You have to bring up deeper

questions in order to understand people."

Kewal Handa, managing director of Pfizer India, has had many an uncomfortable conversation in his career, and he believes the key to

handling them is to have your facts straight. "If you've called somebody in to tell him he's goofed up, you have to be thoroughly prepared with

the facts and figures to prove it," he says. "I call these courageous conversations. You have to have a script in your head and you have to be

focused. Never get personal. Otherwise it will degenerate into a 'tu tu - main main' kind of argument."

One of the most high-stake conversations corporates have is to do with s trategy. The conflicts here are inherent and many - profitability

versus growth, long-term versus short-term implications and the constant battle between various departments over resources. The debate

can start at the board-level and go all the way down to departments. Some organisations discuss these issues openly, leveraging the

conflicts they create, in productive ways. Others may deliberately suppress debate, which Handa believes is dangerous: "If you accept

strategy as given, with no debate, you will be in a fix in today's world. Fortunately, as Professor Amartya Sen says, Indians tend to debateand discuss a lot. We don't come into alignment fast. We are more broad-based in our understanding of business."

Vijay Rekhi, former managing director of United Spirits and presently the chairman of its executive committee is one of those pugilistic

CEOs who is quite comfortable with uncomfortable conversations. He recalls numerous conversations where he's sacked people, reduced

them to tears, saying: "At that point I'm getting on with my agenda. I don't get into the other person's shoes." Though he's never found

internal conversations difficult, there are certain kinds of external conversations he does find tough. "You have to be much more circumspect


2/3

in conversations with outsiders, since you don't know them that well. For example, conflicts situations arise constantly with dealers. You

can't take them for granted."

And what about the undiscussables, the issues that people dodge however much you may try? Ashok Goel, vice chairman and managing

director of Essel Propack has seen it happen to him many times and says, ""It happens when people have been with you a long time and

have respect for you." Goel actually has a whole system worked out for difficult conversations. For one, he always conducts them on neutral

territory, such as over lunch at a restaurant. Second, he ensures there is a third person present facilitating the conversation. Third, he

prepares a sc ript and makes sure personal issues never come into the conversation. "We are a fairly diverse company now, with operations

in 12 countries, so communication is more of a challenge. Even the quarterly performance appraisal takes an enormous amount of mental

energy. I'm still not used to it."

[email protected]

Ganessh Shermon

Santrupt Misra

Aruna Jayanthi

Vijay Rekhi


3/3

Ashok Goel

Difficult Discussions

Documents

Transcript of Difficult Discussions