Keith: "What'cha doin'?"

Me: "Why aren't you wearing pants?"

Keith: "I'm thinking about doing another Pants Embargo until some certain people decide to stop styling their hair in that awful fauxhawk fashion, not that I'm naming names or anything like that."

Me: "Uh, HUH. Well anyway, I had the sudden urge to do an asylum because all the cool kids are doing it and I am a follower. I know this, you know this, and I'm comfortable with other people knowing it."

"Sweet! Do you hear that, Jack? Mom's finally going to lock up Rhys 'I have a douchebag hairstyle' Fitzhugh. Isn't that awesome?"

(Jack, as you can see, is positively thrilled.)

Me: "No, Keith, I actually like Rhys. And I have plenty of my own crazy and or mentally unbalanced characters. By the way, you might want to put on some pants."

Keith: "Pants are overrated. So you aren't going to lock up Cecil Goodytwoshoes or anything like that?"

Me: "No, why would I? Like I said, I have plenty of my own characters."

Me: "People like Alexander Goth."

Keith: "Good, he's a major douche canoe."

Alexander GothCancer4/6/4/7/4Fortune/Popularity

Me: "Lillian Devereaux."

Keith: "You know, I'm actually surprised that you didn't name her first."

Lillian DevereauxGemini4/10/9/4/1Family/Popularity

(I changed her secondary from Fortune because Pop seemed more appropriate and she's technically considered a spare.)

Me: "Thaddeus Wilcox."

Keith: "Another villain. It seems that you legacy is full of them, Ang."

Thaddeus WilcoxGemini0/10/10/5/0Romance/Pleasure

(I had to flag him as gay in ACR because he has the werewolf skin which isn't available for all ages. If I have any surprise babies, I don't want my game crashing.)

"And of course Zane. Because he's my whipping boy, and, to be fair, he really isn't in a good state of mind at the moment."

Zane DevereauxPisces5/5/5/3/10Family/Knowledge

"And one wouldn't blame me for putting in Mary Devereaux, right?"

Mary DevereauxPisces5/5/6/3/10Family/Pleasure (believe it or not)

"And you most certainly can't blame me for putting in Goopy, the grilled cheese maniac."

Goopy GilsCarbo DevereauxLibra2/8/2/6/7Grilled Cheese/Popularity

"And last, but certainly not least, Joshua Devereaux can finally have another moment in the spotlight. Because I still hate Josh."

Joshua DevereauxCancer5/5/5/5/5Knowledge/Family

"And that's all of them. Everyone who is closely related is still flagged as related. So, if Zane's ACR timer goes off...well, he's screwed and not in a good way. Mary is ripe for the picking (if you pardon the vulgar way that sounds) because other than Zane, the other men aren't closely related. Though, like I mentioned, Thaddeus, for this, was flagged as gay."

Keith: "That's only seven people. Isn't there supposed to be eight? And who is the controllable?"

Me: "Keith, put on your pants."

Keith: "I told you no! Not until Rhys wears a decent hairstyle, or, at the very least, a fez. So who is your caretaker?"

Me: "Oh, you know, some person. So Keith, on a COMPLETELY unrelated topic, you're Family/Knowledge, right? You're an Aries and your stats are 4/7/5/3/6 right?"

Keith: "Uh, yeah, I guess."

Me: "What's your LTW?"

Keith: "Today? Well I want to be a Mister Smarty-Pants. After I finish my Pants Embargo Redux of course, because, you know, the pants thing and all. So who knows how long that will take."

Me: "Uh, huh. Well, Keith, I just have one thing to say to you..."

"...You should have put on your pants."

*whistles cheerfully*

Welcome to the Devereaux Legacy Obviously Not Canon Asylum. All the cool kids are doing asylums these days and so because I don't really feel like dealing with my legacy at the moment, I'm doing this instead. I pulled out a good portion of my hacks sans ACR and the "Larger Households" hack, because it's more fun that way (the other hacks are things like Macrotastics and absolutely necessary mods that fix my game).

This is not going to be pretty looking and it will be observational with plumbbobs, headlines, and action queues (because I use a print screen program) all on. Well, you know the drill. Hope you find it amusing :)

~*~*~

(Day 1)

As you do in the beginning of every asylum, you watch the Yummy Channel so the inmates don't start the whole place on fire. I wasn't entirely sure about how to set the seasons, so I just set everything to fall. Cheaty? Probably, but Keith needs to max out all seven skills and there's nothing in the rules about seasons so... *shrugs*

Anyway, Josh had so much fun watching the Yummy Channel he thought it was nearly criminal.

I'm also going the "Buy a bird for Charisma points" route. For the time being because for some reason my birds keep dying after only a couple of days. As soon as their dish hits empty, they keel over without any warning.

I was curious to see who would hook up. Goopy and Mary are repelled by each other, but after this happened and I counted back on my fingers...I realized that Josh is Mary's Great-Grandfather.

That's right, the Devereaux family is competing with the Fitzhughs, Cecil Goodytwoshoes, and SimDe in weird, messed up family tree stuff. I am so proud.

But as you can see it was a little bit too late for those realizations. At this point, I also realized that I had actually accidentally pulled out the Larger Household mod. Well, it wouldn't be the asylums I'm used to playing if I DIDN'T have a hoard of kids, so I exited the game and put it back in.

Lillian, however, was the belle of the ball. Every male who wasn't flagged as as close relative (including Keith) thought she was just the bee's knees.

And yet, out of all those men, she chose Goopy. GOOPY!

Well, she IS insane and let's all be honest here, Alexander and Goopy have the same face template, so she might have gotten the two of them mixed up.

Of course, that wasn't much consolation to Alexander.

Oh, and yeah, by the way, Lillian (the Family Sim) tried for a baby. And got pregnant.

This, of course, ended with typical results.

I think Zane's speech bubble sums up what he wants out of life very nicely. As of this writing, Zane has been the most zen-like person in the entire place.

Because Keith doesn't have a job related LTW, I decided he doesn't need to get a job period. So he got to dig for a couple of hours until he scored a treasure chest, thus assuring that the bills will be paid.

(Day 2)

"Hey hey! I'm really hungry! Have a finger gun!"

Josh: "Hey! We're Besties now! Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Mary: "If what you're thinking involves getting into a small, cramped area and having sex until I get knocked up (because we don't want that other Family Sim to outdo us) then, yes! I think what I'm thinking is EXACTLY what you're thinking! AND I had recessive genes given to me!"

Josh: "Oh really? Where did you get those?"

Mary "From you and Great-Grandmother of course! But that's not weird, not at all. It's all so very perky, pretty and perfect!'

"It's just you and me, Tightie Whities."

"La la la la la. Just taking a bubble bath, minding my own business. La la la la la."

"I'm really hungry for something. I don't know what. My icon is the color of morning urine and I apparently passed out on the floor even though there were beds available. But I'm hungry for something. I wonder what. Huh. Well, I won't cook anything for myself. Nope. Not me."

Mary: "Well you know how it is, Mister Goopy guy whom I have NO idea who you are. I'm with Josh and we WooHooed and everything. That's just the way it goes."

Josh: "Do you see the aspiration points I'm getting for serving grilled cheese? You might want to take note."

Josh: "You might also want to EAT some grilled cheese."

Goopy: "Nah. I think I'll take care of my bladder which is most assuredly in the red. Wait. Did you say grilled cheese? Well maybe just one bite."

Josh: *+500 for eating grilled cheese*

Goopy: *+500 for eating grilled cheese*

"Uh, hello! I went to bed instead of going to the bathroom, even though it was empty. Now I want you to do something about it! Ah fuck it. Never mind. I'll just pee right here even though the bathroom is empty. Dammit. Now I'm uncomfortable and I don't think getting back into bed will help. Nope. Not at all."

Goopy: "Hey lady that I think I woohooed with? I'm uncomfortable and I'm stinky and I'm tired."

Lillian: "Do I know you? It's...Alexander, right?"

Goopy: "*sobs* I peed on the floor and nobody will help me."

Lillian: "Yeah, you might want to take care of that, Alexander."

Keith: "Just keep studying your cooking skills, Keith. Just pretend that you're not surrounded by crazy, stinky people."

"*sighs* All is right with the world. La la la la la."

I couldn't miss out on the opportunity to have Keith greet Eden who was walking on by. I completely forgot that Eden's still dressed up from the last scene she was being filmed in, so please forgive the fact that she doesn't look like she normally does.

Eden, who is very, very friendly, decided to just make a beeline towards the karaoke machine. That was a mistake.

Because apparently someone with maxed out Creativity singing on the karaoke machine is a huge turn on for Alexander. So he began to hover around her, constantly heart farting her. Eden tolerated it very well, but I was worrying because I had enabled cheating on ACR. The last thing I really wanted was for Eden to cheat on Rhys because of it. Especially with Alexander.

So I breathed a huge sigh of relief when 2:00 am rolled around and she left without any romantic interactions happening between the two of them.

Lillian had her first baby pop. Look at the evil look on her face. My God, right?

Goopy: "So, you look like you have the same body shape as me now. Eating a lot of food, right?"

Lillian: "Are you the one whose brain I turned to mush? Why are you talking to me? Where is Alexander? The father of my child will not appreciate one such as you lollygagging around in front of me."

Goopy: "Will you make me some grilled cheese, Grilled Cheese Lady Number Two?"

(Day 3)

"La la la la la. I'm just going to take my daily bath. I don't care that the tub is filthy, that it's broken, and the floor is one giant puddle. I'm just taking a bath, minding my own business. La la la la la."

Zane: "La la la la la. Just cleaning up the plates, not making eye contact with the woman who is pregnant with our Great-Grandfather's baby. La la la la la."

Mary: "I'm so terribly uncomfortable. I know there are beds available. AND the couch is available. But I want to sit in this chair and complain. Zane, will you listen to my woes?"

Zane: "LA LA LA LA LA. Just minding my own business. This isn't really happening. La la la la la."

Zane: "LA LA LA LA LA. I'm completely ignoring the naked people on the couch. La la la la la.

Thaddeus: "Zane, I came in here, despite the fact that my icon is a lovely shade of yellow, to let you know that I wouldn't fuck you with a stolen dick."

Zane: "LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

After having *relations* with Josh, Mary went to bed, only to get out of it, have her first baby pop, and instead of going BACK to bed, she wandered off somewhere, I can't remember where at the moment.

"I'm starving! I KNOW there's food on the counter and I KNOW I've been called to eat like five times, but I'm STARVING...So going to bed is a PERFECTLY acceptable thing to do at a time like this!"

"Hmm, I wonder if I should go in and check...nah. They're doing okay. *whistles cheerfully*"

Just when I was beginning to think that Goopy was made of complete and epic FAIL, he went and LO AND BEHOLD HE MADE HIMSELF GRILLED CHEESE! AND HE GOT ASPIRATION POINTS FROM IT! (Not that his icon color turned platinum or anything like that. Just...more green than yellow. But it was a start!)

Lillian had her second baby pop and her face still looks evil. Do you guys wonder why I decided to make her a villain? I mean it wasn't JUST the 1 Nice point, because lord knows the Lewis family churned 1 Nice point Sims out for a couple of generations. No. It was the fact that NO MATTER WHAT LILLIAN DID she looked evil.

Goopy: "How did your boobs get so big?"

Lillian: "Magic."

Goopy: "I heard a rumor that you were pregnant. The Goopster doesn't do kids. Ask Grilled Cheese Lady Number One."

Mary: "I have no idea who or what he's referring to. Now please don't mind me while I eat this rotten grilled cheese sandwich."

"Aw man! I gotta pee again. I think I'll go an make some grilled cheese."

Josh: "You know, I'm pretty sure that's not good for pregnant women to play with. Yeah. Pretty sure."

Goopy: "*sigh* I peed my pants. Again."

Thaddeus. "And?"

Goopy: "And Grilled Cheese Lady Number Two is in the bathtub."

Lillian: "And?"

Goopy: "And I still want grilled cheese."

Thaddeus: "*grumble* I said no salt. NO SALT. I'll burn this place down. I'll put strychnine in the margaritas*"

*Quote from 'Office Space'

And we have our first fire and of course EVERYONE (except for Zane you’ll notice) decided to come in and panic over it, even though I had those super magical, mystical floor dividers that block light, noise, and activities from everywhere else. Keith managed to call the fire department on time, though Keith took an aspiration hit. Nobody else really did. The worst that has happened is that Thaddeus has begun to Worry Hands. No aspiration failures though.

(Day 4)

"La la la la la. Just performing my daily ablutions. Just miiiiiinding my own beeswax. La la la la la."

Four days in and Keith finally managed to max out the cooking skill! One down, six more to go.

Once Thaddeus started complaining about his aspiration, it was like breaking the seal when drinking: he couldn't stop.

Zane: "La la la la la. Just looking out the window. Don't mind me."

The day passed by pretty uneventfully. Goopy stood around starving like an idiot for most of the day, even though there was perfectly good jello on the counter that the household had been called to eat about a half dozen times, and Mary had her second baby pop.

Thaddeus: "Yeah, that Zane guy. *hand rock gesture* That's all I got."

Zane has done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING other than mind his own business. He'll occasionally socialize NICELY with the other residents, and take care of his own needs. I have no idea what Thaddeus was gossiping about. It was only Zane's face.

So because nothing really eventful happened during the day, lets just skip to later that night.

Lillian gave birth to a baby girl, who I named Tabitha (which would have been Zane's name had he been a girl). I gave Lillian the same recessives I gave Mary, but with Goopy being black/black, dark blue/dark blue, it was going to completely override Lillian's blond/gray recessive.

Also note that Lillian didn't get any sort of aspiration boost for Having a Baby, most likely because she has the want to get engaged to Goopy.

And so, to celebrate the new arrival, I placed out a floor mat and automatic baby feeder for when Tabitha becomes a toddler.

And despite the fact that I kept canceling out Keith's burning desire to watch Tabitha being born, he still stopped skilling and that Family Sim part took over. He socialized with Mary for the first time since this all began.

Unfortunately his first interaction with her was to talk to her belly, which she obviously rejected.

Naturally she much preferred to pee on the floor once everyone had left the room. Please note the happy expression as she does so as she thinks about the new relative who just joined the family.

This should come as no surprise to anyone. Zane was pretty much the only person who really paid attention to the baby, though he wasn't quite bright enough to figure out that her diaper needed to be changed.

(Day 5)

Lillian: "What on earth is that thing laying on the floor? It's crying. It has green fumes. It's icon looks yellow. Why isn't it in your arms like it has been for the last few hours?"

Zane: "La la la la la. Resting my arms and eating my food to restore my energy."

As well he should because at that moment, Mary was giving birth to her daughter, Karliah (those of you who played Skyrim and did the Thieves Guild quest should recognize that name).

And KACHING on the recessives. She got the blond hair AND the gray eyes, though she still got Mary's S2 instead of Josh's S1.

And much like I celebrated Tabitha's birth, I did the same for Karliah.

Then things became worrisome. Oh, not Lillian's bathroom accident (but that will be important in a moment) but Mary and Goopy began to just stand there, not moving, as they flashed hunger warnings at me. I tried resetting them, it didn't work. Talking with them didn't either. Finally, I used 'move_objects on' and moved them over a couple of squares.

Then they reverted back to "normal."

"Normal" for Mary being, of course, ignoring her daughter as she and Josh hopped into the photo booth to get pregnant again. I guess that's ONE way to get rid of the "I was stuck by invisible things" blues.

Second verse, same as the first for Zane here.

And then he placed Karliah in the pee puddle Lillian left.

Please note that the puddle disappeared as soon as the baby was put in it. Those diapers must be super absorbent.

Zane: "La la la la la. Just staring out the window while I rest my arms. Don't mind me."

By the way, I don't show much of the babies because they pretty much spent the entire time on the floor being ignored except by Zane, and a few times with Alexander, of all people.

Did Josh, Mary, or Lillian pay attention to the babies? Nope. Not at all.

Mary spent a lot of time wondering if she was pregnant (though now that I think about it, neither she nor Lillian ever threw up). She ended up having YET ANOTHER accident even though the toilet was empty. Well, okay, "empty" is used loosely here seeing as its been clogged up since Day 1. "Unoccupied" would be a better way to put it.

(Day 6)

Tweetie 3: "Squwaaak! You have a heart of gold. Squwaaak!"

Zane: "That doesn't matter. I just want what I've always wanted. A nice, peaceful, quiet life."

Zane, as far as I could tell, hasn't gotten any aspiration points for skills he got (I assigned everyone their secondary aspirations) and yet, he also hasn't done a single Worry Hands. I was almost tempted to flag him as gay for this because I'm quite certain that he has the "Fall in Love" or "Have a First Kiss" want cemented in his panel. But in the end, I couldn't see him as anything but straight, and I really don't like the thought of he and Thaddeus getting it on. So, for now, he's just coasting along like this really isn't happening. Much like he is in my story, actually.

And, crap, Lillian got food poisoning. She was incontinent WITHOUT any sickness >.<

So, NATURALLY, the only way to cure food poisoning is to WooHoo and get pregnant. I mean, hey, she's already (hypothetically) throwing up and she's already running to the bathroom and constantly tired, so why not add a little bit more to that. Am I right? Am I right?

Oh, and by the way, NOW she's in love with Goopy. She had one kid by him and is pregnant with the second, might as well seal the deal. Oh, and Lillian, yes, you are pregnant, but those symptoms you're showing (needing to use the bathroom and such) is most likely from the food poisoning. Just thought you should know.

Thankfully Keith was able to nab the girls at the right time (in between their dirty diapers and floor naps) and they were able to have their birthdays via birthday cake.

I also made him fill up the automatic baby feeders before he got sent back to skilling.

TabithaGemini

2/8/9/2/7

KarliahPisces

5/5/6/5/9

Yeah, don't let Tabitha's evil brow fool you.

Of course I really hope the Social Worker comes to take them away because there isn't enough food or sleeping space for them once they become children.

Aaaaannnnd THIS is when I realized that I had pulled out the Baby Harassment hack. I didn't realize how BAD it was WITHOUT it. I mean, seriously, Rhys hovered over the babies in the main house like frickin' Edward Cullen Edmund Cummings WITH IT IN! "How bad can it be with it out?" I asked myself.

It was this bad. Zane, Josh, and Mary ceased to do anything other than complain that the baby mat was in the way of them picking up Karliah, who they wouldn't have been able to interact with ANYWAY because she was sleeping. So a quick exit of the game, placing the mod back in, and reloading the game and things were "functioning" properly again. As in they suddenly remembered that there WAS food on the counter and that they should eat it instead of starving to death.

Alexander decided to in Thaddeus in the Worry Hand brigade.

Oh. And the fucking bird died. Again. Seriously, I had sent Keith over to fill Tweetie 3's food dish because it said "Fill Tweetie 3's dish for $19." I took that as my sign to get there before it emptied. Too late. The bird ate the last bit and then keeled over. So I had to buy another bird and have Keith teach Tweetie 4 to talk. If Tweeite 4 dies, I'm going to just buy a frigging mirror, to hell with everyone else getting Charisma points.

(Day 7)

"La la la la la. I'm ignoring the gelatin on the counter and stuffing my face. I'm fine. Nothing's wrong with me. La la la la la."

Lillian: "I REALLY need to use the bathroom!"

Goopy: "Nope. You REALLY need to stand here and be goosed by me!"

"Lillian: "Oops! My bad! OF COURSE we'll flirt with each other for a while, tee hee."

Zane: "Ice cream. Thoughts of ice cream. I think THAT'S what I'm going to think about today to keep me sane."

As you can imagine, the girls aren't doing all that well. They aren't sleeping because the dance sphere (that everyone is obsessed with, I just am cutting out most of the pictures) keeps them awake. They also won't eat from the automatic baby feeders.

Instead, they do what Tabitha is doing here: drinking rotten bottles and then puking on the floor. It's their own fault, really. I mean, come on! There's PERFECTLY GOOD Puppy Chow in the baby feeders. This ain't a legacy household, girls, where you will be taught your skills and treated nicely. The only dream you really DO want to come true is having the Social Worker show up for you.

Then I realized that it would probably be better for traffic, as well as for the girls, to have actual pet beds placed with super special magical barriers around them. I also made sure that the footprint to the automatic baby feeders were facing out.

Lillian actually made it through her food poisoning, but it left her brain in a fragile, mush like state where she refused to go to one of the empty beds or use the empty unoccupied toilet.

Mary has also decided that playing on the dance sphere while pregnant is still a good thing.

And, surprisingly, Alexander is still pissed off at Lillian for "cheating" on him, even though it happened almost a week prior and other than some dirty looks at Goopy, he hasn't made much of a fuss. Actually, now that I think of it, Alexander hasn't made much of a fuss during this entire week. He must be taking lessons from Zane.

As Week 1 draws to a close, Keith manages to max out his Logic skill, leaving him with five more to go.

And I'll leave you with his skill panel open. Technically he has about five and a half more skills to go because he has to keep training the effing bird how to talk because it keeps dying >.<

Also, please note the lovely shades of displeasure, especially Tabitha's. Hopefully the Social Worker will come soon. I'm making it a point to not look at their want panels as well, and the only controlling I did was when I changed their hair and clothes.

Week 2 will hopefully be coming soon. Until next time, happy Simming!