Depravda, November 1995 (part 2)

7/29/2019 Depravda, November 1995 (part 2)

1/5

You bought chuck smith at $2.69/lb.(Gary Patishnock)

li@~ ~~ Wl~~~ li@~!UL ~@lUJ~ ~~~~

WlOll.J l.. IF~O[b IF@~ ~~~@IF ~@@[Q) li~~~

It makes your gynecologist blush.(J ean Sorensen)

You send it to the New York Magazinecompetition by mistake. (J oseph Romm)

Your proofreader calls 911. (Mary Olson)

You can't decide which way is funnier:making light of the swastika, or suggesting

Newt will be President Dole's strong righthand. (Tommy Utz)

Twenty years from now, your daughter getsup the nerve to tell her analyst about it.

(Elden Carnahan)

Gerard Finnennan reads your material and isrepulsed. (Stephen Dudzik)

You accidenta!ny mail it to your Congressmanand it becomes the defining soundbite of the

'90s. (Mike Thring)

Someone leaves a severed "Ear" in your bed.(Nick Freeman)

Take

Title

1.061

1.083

1.179

1.258

1.416

1.679

2.008

2.056

2.126

2.126

2.153

2.258

2.324

2.337

2.337

2.337

2.390

2.442

2.442

2.4602.469

2.469

2.495

2.495

2.504

2.521

2.521

2.574

2.600

2.609

2.626

2.653

2.653

2.679

2.679

2.705

2.7052.705

2.705

2.705

2.705

.026

.526

.447

-.053

.000

-.158

-.053

-.079

.263

.242

.605

-.263

-.026

.000

.289

.447

.579

.579

.009

.237

3.00

4.00 46

1.00:3.00

5.00 33 -.316

22 2.00

7.83 26

12 12.00 16

21 16.00 10

6 17.50 9

4 13.50 13

6.00 30

16 7.00 28

1.00

1.00

1.00

3.50

3.00

1.33

5.50 28 2.00

14.50 7 10.00 1:9

13.00 10 0.75

10.00

7.50

3.00

13.00

8.00

15.00

17.00

4.00 36 7.50 27

14.00 8 4.00 47

6.00 25 13.25 1420.00 7

1.00

Year 1 Year 2 Top Yer

Crdts Rk Crdts Rk Best

42.33 3 .386

15.50 11 -1.017

19.00 3 69.00 2 1.895

75.33 1 83.33 1 2.728

13.00 11 29.00 5 .026

3.33 18.00 8 -.289

11.00 18 -.329

31.50 4 .798

11.50 17 -1.084

22.00 6 .368

10.00 20 -.237

3.50 -.474

12.00 14 13.00 15 .092

Conss

1.061

1.055

1.000

.955

.864

.712

.523

.495

.455

.455

.439

.379

.341

.846

.367

.333

.455

.273

.273

.262

.258

.258

.250

.242

.237

.227

.227

.197

.182

.177

.167

.161

.152

.136

.136

.182

.143

.121

.121

.121

.121

Year 3

"YEAR.3ONI.-Y

V\TEEKS~05-~.37

Too much roughage. (Kevin Mellema)

For J anuary, send us something for:"TopTen"WaysStyle

Invitational Losers Dif'f'erFromSerial KilIers

Continued from Academia Nuts, Page 5tion, such as 'he doesn't spread Ebola' in referencto Don Imus. That's the kind of thing that yoube likely to see in an editorial cartoon."

Sewell also noted that many of the entriecould be easily made into comic strips (perhaps he

foresaw Week 122?). "Mike Peters of MotheGoose and Grimm uses very similar imagesstrange images,. Sewell said.

While a cartoonist could easily put these ideainto a nice visual image, Sewell said, it's not ssimple to compare them to editorials, regardless o

the content. "Editorials tend to be more thought out," Sewell said. "and more PC than the entries I'vseen. And, of course, editorials are unsigned, whereas a major point of this contest is the recognition.Rash, politically incorrect, and out in the open. Sounds like a perfect commercial for the SI. It looks liprofessors do get it after all.

Rk Name Crdts

1 Rorrvn 35.00

2 Beland 34.83

3 Carnahan 33.00

4 Smith, C. 31.50

5 Witte 28.50

6 Hart 23.50

7 Kammer 17.25

8 Krattervnkr16.33

9 Sorensen 15.00

Worcester 15.00

11 Zarrow 14.50

12 Pannullo 12.50

13 OL u:lzik 11.2514 Litz 11.00

15 C or1nagtw111. 0016 Arnold 11.00

17 Plait 10.00

18 Chong 9.00

Sullivan 9.00

20 Styrene 8.6721 Smith, J .C. 8.50

Thuermer 8.50

23 Grinath 8.00

24 Patishnock 8.00

25 Cuddihy 7.83

26 Grove 7.50

Mellema 7.50

28 Kondis 6.50

29 Thring 6.00

30 Steinhice 5.83

31 Caron 5.50

32 Offutt 5.00

33 Fox Roe 5.00

34 Malcolm 4.50

Sabourin 4.50

36 Vanatter 4.00

37 Kocak 4.0038 Bross 4.00

Dawson, F. 4.00

Smith, D. 4.00

Weinstein 4.00

Y ear 3, Crdts: total print appearances in Y ear 3.Y ear 3, Conss: total credits divided by the 33

Weeks so far of Y ear 3.Y ear 1. Crdts: total print appearances in Y ear 1,

Weeks 1 through 52.Y ear 1. Rk: where you finished Y ear 1.Y ear 2, Crdts and Rk: as above, for Weeks 53

through 104.Top Y er Best: amount of credits you must earn

Week to improve on your best Y ear so far.Take Title: amount of credits you must earn each

Week to finish with #1 ranking for Y ear 3.

Here we list all persons who have reached 4credits so far in Y ear 3, Weeks 105 through 137.

Next month The Graduate relaxes, having nut out of professors to harass, er, intervi_. If anyone has any similar ideas for TGraduate, please send them to 4114 Port Rae Ln, Fairfax, VA 22033. Thanks, and we hope you enjoyed the findings of TGraduate.

Page 6


2/5

SCORELOSERS Russ Beland

STATUSAS OFWEEK:137 19Nov95 I I I I I I T I I IWMIlIw __

3monlll SIaIalor thev_ Com' Esllmated Protecllons Esllmated

R cn Net Total Name Cal Debu CoNI. 220cl29Clct6Nov12Nov19No1CClnIl. 1991 Ava I_ I_ stanclllQlfrom Score w w w 13 (Nt.- .7 11 CClnIl." . . .

__ I

WkI50 Wklet In 1Yea

132 133 136 136 136 137 w -" . . . Wk. out 3monlll I year Ilari< N.t1 = 190.00 Smlth.C A 6 1,45 -5 0.92 52.33 1 62% 3.77 0.01 48 - - 190.1 190.4 1 =2 = 121.00Camahan.E A 22 1.05 +1 3.00 2.llll Ul l 0.68 47.00 3 66% 3.00 0.97 2 71 133.6 171.4 2 =3 = 77.33 Romm.J A 58 0.98 -1 .Lllll 1.00 1.00 3.00 0.77 50.50 2 6CfIo 2.69 0.87 4 129 68.7 122.8 3 =4 = 70.50 Witte. T A 7 0.54 -1 2.00 1.00 1.00 2.00 1.12 38.50 6 51% 2.42 0.83 5 144 81.3 113.6 4 =5 +1 51.83 Beland.R A 73 0.80 +3 3.00 t4 2.00 .Lllll 1.19 42.83 4 6CfIo 2.64 0.99 1 139 64.8 103.6 5 =6 -1 46.83 Krattenmaker.1 A 80 0.81 -11 0.15 40.33 5 45% 1.70 0.00 49 52434 46.9 47.0 11 -5

7 = 44.83 Hart. J B 11 0.36 -3 3.00 1.00 0.73 34.50 7 38% 1.75 0.54 6 267 51.9 73.1 6 +1

8 +1 40.00 Worcester. S B 46 0.44 +1 2.00 1.00 0.62 19.00 11 30% 1.39 0.53 8 284 46.9 67.4 7 +1

9 -1 39.00 Kondis.P B 14 0.32 -{) 0.15 10.50 23 19% 0.75 0.10 26 1520 40.3 44.2 13 -4

10 = 36.50 Thrina. M B 23 0.32 .9 0.15 10.00 24 19% 0.73 0.06 32 2615 37.3 39.6 16-{)

11 = 35.75 Dudzik.S C 7 0.28 -5 0.48 15.75 13 28% 1.08 0.21 18 738 38.5 46.6 12 .1

12 = 32.50 Grove.R C 6 0.25 -11 0.15 12.50 16 28% 0.71 0.05 35 2947 33.2 35.3 19 -7

13 = 31.50 Mellema.K C 10 0.25 -2 1.00 0.15 14.50 14 26% 0.74 0.20 19 789 34.1 41.9 14.1

14 = 29.50 S mith.J C B 60 0.38 -8 0.12 11.00 19 19% 0.73 0.06 33 2853 30.2 32.4 20 -{)

15 +4 29.25 Kammer.J B 71 0.44 +2 2.00 1.00 0.60 25.25 8 40% 1.44 0.52 9 311 36.0 56.1 9 +6

16 -1 29.00 Malcolm.L C 18 0.24 -14 0.00 9.50 27 13% 0.50 0.02 40 7155 29.3 30.2 24 -8

17 = 28.92 Styrene. P C 17 0.24 -2 2 .J J J 1 0.26 16.67 12 36% 0.85 0.25 13 648 32.1 41.8 15 +2

18 -2 27.00 SUllivan. M C 14 0.22 .12 0.08 12.00 17 21% 0.59 0.04 38 3951 27.5 29.1 26 -8

19 +2 26.50 Sorensen.J B 75 0.42 .1 .L llll .L llll 0.46 19.50 9 36% 1.19 0.44 10 371 32.2 49.4 10 +9

19 -1 26.50 Geartv. T A 16 0.22 -73 0.00 0.00 n/a 0% 0.29 0.00 n/a n/a 26.5 26.5 28 -9

21 .1 25.83 Zarrow.D C 30 0.24 -4 .L D Q 0.38 19.50 9 30% 1.00 0.21 15 771 28.6 36.9 18 +3

22 +1 22.50 Klna.S D 16 0.19 -2 1.00 1.00 0.15 2.00 48 4% 0.41 0.17 20 986 24.7 31.3 21 +1

22 = 22.50 Caron.C 0 11 0.18 -8 0.08 5.50 34 11% 0.41 0.07 30 2523 23.4 26.0 29 -7

24 -1 20.50 Chonc.SL C 35 0.20 -7 0.31 10.00 24 15% 0.70 0.13 22 1258 22.3 27.5 27 -3

25 = 19.50ISeaal.S C 4 0.15 -40 0.00 1.00 53 2% 0.22 0.00 n/a n/a 19.5 19.5 34 -9

26 = 18.75 Coyner.P 0 26 0.17 -11 0.15 2.50 46 4% 0.39 0.07 29 2564 19.6 22.2 32 -{)

27 = 18.66 C uddlhv.K D 13 0.15 -5 0.42 9.83 26 19% 0.74 0.21 17 817 21.4 29.6 25 +2

28 = 18.25Sobourln.P D 17 0.15 -13 0.00 3.50 41 9% 0.27 0.03 39 5835 18.6 19.8 33 .5

29 = 17.83 Roonev.C C 16 0.15 -{)1 0.00 0.00 n/a 0% 0.20 0.00 n/a nfa 17.8 17.8 36 -7

30 = 17.00 Zane.B A 3 0.13 -102 0.00 0.00 nfa 0% 0.18 0.00 nfa n/a 17.0 17.0 40 -10

31 = 16.50 Alter. P C 41 0.17 -35 0.00 2.00 48 4% 0.24 0.00 nfa nfa 16.5 16.5 41 -10

31 = 16.50 Patishnock.G D 26 0.15 -5 0.23 9.00 28 17% 0.55 0.14 21 1246 18.3 23.7 30 +1

33 +3 16.00Amold.G C 72 0.24 +1 1.00 1.00 2.00 0.31 11.00 19 19% 0.72 0.28 12 633 19.6 30.3 23 +10

34 = 15.50 Pannullo. J C 84 0.29 -1 1.00 1.00 0.31 14.50 14 28% 0.81 0.30 11 587 19.4 31.0 22 +12

35 -2 14.00 Weisse. K D 6 0.11 -{) 0.08 2.50 46 6% 0.26 0.07 28 2520 14.9 17.6 38 -3

36 = 13.00Thuermer.K D 14 0.11 -4 .L D Q 0.15 4.50 36 11% 0.36 0.11 25 1605 14.4 18.7 35 +1

37 -2 12.50 Fox Roe.ML D 13 0.10 -24 0.00 6.00 30 4% 0.25 0.02 47 11570 12.7 13.3 45 -8

38 +7 12.00 Ulz,T A 125 0.92 -1 1.00 1.00 1.00 0.92 12.00 17 19% 1.70 0.92 3 193 24.0 60.0 8 +30

38 .2 12.00 Rlchardson.H D 14 0.10 -7 0.08 3.00 43 4% 0.25 0.06 31 2754 12.8 15.4 42 -4

40 -I 11.83 Steinhlce.J C 74 0.18 -5 0.15 6.33 29 15% 0.44 0.11 24 1551 13.3 17.8 37 +341 -1 11.50 Maclean.D 0 44 0.12 -31 0.00 3.50 41 9% 0.21 0.00 nfa nfa 11.5 11.5 48 -7

42 -1 11.33 Smith.J P D 60 0.15 -12 0.08 4.33 37 11% 0.31 0.05 37 3697 12.0 13.8 44 -2

43 +14 11.00Connaahan.M B 108 0.37 +1 )~W 1.00 0.69 11.00 19 11% 1.10 0.53 7 338 17.9 38.5 17 +2643 +1 11.00 P lait,P A 116 0.50 -4 1.00 0.54 11.00 19 15% 1.06 0.22 14 817 13.8 22.4 31 +12

45 -3 10.67 Oison.D C 14 0.09 -72 0.00 0.00 nfa 0% 0.12 0.00 n/a nfa 10.7 10.7 50 -5

46 -3 10.50 Hammer.MJ .!: 5 0.08 -16 0.00 3.00 43 6% 0.17 0.02 41 8296 10.8 11.6 47 -1

47 -2 9.00 Oison.MM D 38 0.09 -45 0.00 2.00 48 2% 0.15 0.00 nfa nfa 9.0 9.0 54 -7

47 -2 9.00 Dawson.F D 47 0.10 -7 0.15 6.00 30 9% 0.36 0.09 27 1940 10.2 13.9 43 +4

47 -2 9.00 RobblNJ E 5 0.07 -19 0.00 3.00 43 6% 0.15 0.02 43 9913 9.2 9.9 52 .5

50 -1 8.50 Glibert.E C 57 0.11 -51 0.00 0.00 nfa 0% 0.12 0.00 nfa nfa 8.5 8.5 56 -{)

LEGEND

CAT: Consistently Actively Trying. Consistency over the period from

-first appearance to most recent appearance (minimum 10 Weeks).

A = 0.5+; B = 0.3-0.5; C = 0.2-0.3; D = 0.1-0.2; E < 0.1.

Week by week: Winners shaded; all other non-HM underlined.

3month Consis 13 Weeks: Consistency oyer last 3 months (13 Wks).

Stats for the year: Totals for 1995 (not the same as Year 3).

Wks: Percentage of Weeks in 1995 with any appearance at all.

eomj?AVg: Composite Average--a summary rating on a 0-tcr4 scale

(just like a GPA) equal to Total Score plus Consistency plus 3-

Month Consistency plus SCore for the Year, each divided by that

category's top value. To get a 4.00, you have to be the leader

in each of the four categori!!s.

Estimated Consis: Estimated long-term future consistency. a statisti-

cal sample of future appearance rates. For those who have not

scored in 6 months, it is assumed to be zero. For those who

have scored in the last 3 Weeks, it equals the average of

Consistency and 3-MOl'1th Consistency. For those in between, it

is the same average. reduced by a probability factor based on

Consistency and Streak (for example, someone with a Consistency

of 0.5 who has missed 1a Weeks in a row is Iikely to havestopped submitting entries regularly and will have E stimated

Consistency reduced far more than someone whose overall Consis

is 0.01 and has also missed 10 Weeks in a row.

Estimated Rank: Ranking of E stimated Consistency. This is the order

of scores to be expected if everyone kept appearing at current

rates forever (n/a for those inactive 6 months or more).Estimated Weeks Out: Estimated number of Weeks take to reach the

current top score. based on estimated Consistency.

Projections: Score based on estimated Consistency 3 months from

now and 1 year from now.

Estimated Standing in 1 Y ear: Estimated ranking 1 year from now,

and the net change in ranking over that year.

Page 7


3/5

'"

_ """'"\Here it is! The only media event worthy of consideration as the

~ 'Y : 0 sequel to their West Virginia performance of dueling banjos--.~ Dueling Losers! (sung, oddly enough, to the tune of "The Beverly

Hillbillies"--go figure) .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _ . . . . . ._ - _ . . . . _ ..._ . . . ._. . . . . ._ ._. ._ . . . . _ . . . . . . ,. . . . . . . ,.......Greg Arnold Name Dave Zarrow

Herndon, Va., just west Residence Herndon, Va., just east

of Dranesville Rd. of Dranesville Rd.

Lehigh University, School Lafayette College,

Allentown-Bethlehem-Easton area of Allentown-Bethlehem-Easton area of

Pennsylvania, south of Interstate 78 Pennsylvania, north of Interstate 78

Lafayette College Arch-Rival Lehigh University

Works [ sic] for the federal Occupation Independent entrepreneur, the tax

government, the largest consumer base that keeps drones like Arnold

of paperclips in the free world off welfare

The late Defense Mapping Agency Employer Access Office Supplies*

Inaccurately-targeted smark bombs, The danger Nastycruise missiles, and other weapons of product paper

of mass destruction capable of misuse cuts

causing irreparable global damage

The office's funniest world Description of The world's funniest office

products dealer war k ethic or motto products dealer

A Favorite Letter A (no, wait--make that Z)

In the ears and nose Preference in From ear to ear below the

facial hair nose, and lots of it!

Juvenile; idolizes the Humor Infantile; was recently

network writers at Fox bent quoted by Imus

Gazing wistfully at the May 28, Can usually be found Wandering the streets triumphantly

1995, Style section on Sunday mornings waving that morning's Style Section

Couldn't carry a tune in a colostomy Musical inclination OK, perhaps they're not

bag (apologies to Chuck Smith) that different after all----_. .

* 137 Spring St., Herndon, 703-435-7110

Angela Cross, Riva, Md. Debuted with Honorable Mention, Week 126, Everybody's Talkin'--Babbitt: The Interior Department has solved the problem of bear attacks in our national parks. Bear:

More Prozac, please.

Y vonne Easter Driggers, Reston, Va. Debuted with Honorable Mention, Week 93, I Want TheMongoose. Latest--donated lobster-trap as first prize for Week 134, A Simple Clerihew Error.John Garner, Silver Spring, Md. Debuted with Honorable Mention, Week 124, Spoon-Feed Us:

How is a Texas footbal team like a group of insensitive Chinese monks? One is the Dallas Cowboys;

the other are the Callous Tao Boys.George Montgomery, Bethesda, Md. Debuted with Honorable Mention, Week 9, Vanity Unfair.

Latest--Win in Week 132, Give Us The Backs Off Our Shirts.Steve Papier, Wheaton, Md. Debuted with Win and two Honorable Mentions, Week 124, Spoon-

Feed Us. Win: How is the adoration of a pop group like a PBS documentary on an obscure European

country? One is Beatlemania; the other is "Meet Albania!"

Dan Royer, Alexandria, Va. Debuted with Honorable Mention, Week 92, Plotboilers. Latest--

Honorable Mention, Week 131, Droodleysquat: George Stephanopoulos's getaway car.Barry Talsky, Bowie, Md. Debuted with Honorable Mention, Week 130, Nicely Stated: Lillol, Me.

Page


4/5

,WITHAPPENSSome Good Ones That Got Away, Or Missed The Deadline, Or Curry Got On Them, Or Something

WEEK 54: ODD COUPLINGIf Tuesday Weld married Frederic March II, she'dbe Tuesday March the Second. (Paul Kondis)

Their bodies began to make beautiful music

together, if you can call contrapuntal grunting

music. (Chuck Smith. Woodbridge)

WEEK 137: VELVIS LIVESARE YOU LONESOMETONIGHT? The unknownartist's representation of the lone figure of Elvisagainst a black starry background conveys theexistential isolation of post-modern American lifeElvis, the tragic hero, fights the void with hissong, but is, as depicted here, ultimately

unredeemed. (Ellen Lamb)

WEEK 136: NEWEND IN SIGHTWuthering Heights: The ghost of Cathy luresHeathcliff out onto the moors and then

electrocutes him with lightning bolts coming fromher eyes and fingers. Then she makes his facemelt and explode. She's laughing the whole

time. (Sarah Worcester)

WEEK 129: REMAKEUS HAPPY"J erry, My ... uh .. J ohnson": The X-ratedadventures of a euphemist. (Peyton Coyner)

WEEK 133: LIKE, WOWO.J . Simpson is to the media as a human ovumis to 250,000,000 mindless, wriggling sperm.

(Phil Plait, Silver Spring)

WEEK 130: NICELY STATEDSo. Sioux ME (Dave Zarrow)Oozing, Mass. (Kevin Mellema)

WEEK 124: SPOON-FEEDUSHow is a mind-altering drug like Magnum2P.I.'s gay sister? One is a psychedelic, the otheris a dyky Selleck. (Steve Papier, Wheaton)

WEEK 121: IT'S NO USEPreparation J : Helps prevent and shrink those

swollen J ohnsons. (J ohn Kammer)

WEEK 123: WHY IS POOP FUNNY?Why is the sky blue? Your Earth comes withEcosystem 7.5 software already installed. To

change the environmental defaults, choose the

Global icon in the Preferences folder. Examplesof adjustable parameter fields, and their currentsettings, are: fossil record , carcinogens, extraterrestrials , and sky color. Note: your ecosystem must be shut

down and rebooted to activate any changes.

To shut down: open the Oval_Office folder inthe White_House hard drive and double-click

the big red button. (Greg Arnold)

WEEK 120: SIMILEOUTRAGEOUS

WEEK 116: WRITEPUREPOETRY

DOLETO TOPPLED.O.E.--ZOT! POOF! (StephenDudzik)

WEEK 117: GIVE 'EM HELOISEMy husband recently passed a kidney stone andinstead of throwing it out, I had it mounted on aring. You should hear the reactions I get! (J eanSorensen)

WEEK 113: WHAT KIND OF FOAL AM I?DeNiro + Cape Doctor = Max Cady, M.D. (Sue LinChong)

WEEK 115: THE MNEMONICPLAGUEIvy League Colleges (BCCDHPPY): Blood-Curdling

Cries, Dean Has President's Pants Yanked. (J ohn

Cushing)

WEEK 111: ASK BACKWARDS V

A: J oseph Romm's UnderpantsQ: On a scale of 1-10, with Sharon Stone's

Drawers being the 10, what Ask Backwardscategory slides in at Numero Uno? (Mike

Thring)

WEEK 109: SENDUS YOUR MAIL PARTSOutside a German Burger King: "Home of the BigLie" (J oseph Romm)

WEEK 101:CORRECTION:What appeared as the StyleInvitational contest for Week 101 should haveappeared in the Metro section under ",:

the headline: "New D.C. Trash Col- ~lection Schedule." (Mike Hammer) ~ ) _ :."l@ J

WEEK 106: DRAWINGCONQ.USIONS ~ - 'l L , : , ; ; Z : t W o -The legal profession comes up with an ugly atwist on the old "snipe hunt." (Meg Sullivan)

WEEK95: HOW'S THAT AGAIN?Colonials Blasted on Road: New evidence has

been unearthed suggesting that American troopsunder the command of Gen. George Washingtonwon few battles in the first months of theAmerican Revolution, due largely to a clericalerror that allowed each conscript tp draw 1gallon of rum from Army stores, rather than 1

pint, per day. (Elden Carnahan)

Page 9


5/5

W I I ~

327 Mont gomer y St .Laur el , Md. 20707

Ar nol dGr eg ' t t l e12607 LlHer ndon, Va.

st one Lane22070

J Q J ~J f J J R ? , ~WJ Q J ~The Official Mail Organ of the Not Ready for the Algonquin Roundtable Society

1 7 t h & 1 8 t h N O N - C O N S E C U T I V E N . R . A . R , S . B R E A K F A S T S

SUBSCRIPTION NOTEY ou are paid in full unless one of the boxes below is checked:

D Y ou're getting this because

we love you and knowyou'll return some day.

a.m." January7Papa's Cafe

Double Tree Hotel1750 Rockville Pike, RockvilleClosest Metro Stop: Twinbrook

Reservations under "Dudzik"First-timers RSVP to Publisher

Order from menu or do buffetfor $10.95

Free parking everywhere

D This is your first free issue.D

This is your second freeissue. That's it, bub.

Parking on Calvert, 29th, andCleveland Ave.

Open to all Style Invitational contestants, admirers, lurkers,skulkers, stalkers, support staff, mutually-dependent co-enablers,

wannabes, free-loaders, critics, and guests

December 3 -+ 9Sue Lin Chong's

2501 Calvert St. NW, #206Washington, D.C.

2 blocks fm Woodley Park Metro

Important: RSVP by Thursday.Nov. 30, 202-986-6493

$10.00 at the door

[ W ~ }j J ~ &, W lP J It!

327 Montgomery Sl.. Laurel, Md. 20707(30l) 317-6839

korggrok [email protected] -- Subject: Depravda

This is a publication of satire, buffoonery.juvenile humor and whatever else we canscrape together at the last minute. It isnot distributed to the public at large.

Not associated with The Washington PostCo. in any way, shape, manner, aspect,

form, or regard.

Publisher Grace Fuller

Editor Jackson TimbresGeneral Counsel Sue Lin ChongCi rcu lation Mike HammerComptroller Dave ZarrowChIef Mathematician J. Calvin SmithGrip Sarah WorcesterHead Gaffer Steve DudzikChief Photographer Kevin Mellema

Not Specializing inProduce

III ust rator Peyton CoynerAdvice Columnist Dr. StylePaste-Up Girl April CarnahanAlert Reader Kevin CuddihySpiritual Advisor John Peter ZingerAmerica's Funniest Dave Zarrow

OFfice Products Dealer

Investigations Nick Freeman
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]

Depravda, November 1995 (part 2)

Documents

Transcript of Depravda, November 1995 (part 2)