Demystifyingthe Behaviourof Others

Demystifying the behaviour of others

Dr Robina ChathamDr Robina Chatham

Making aMaking adifferencedifference


Interpretation of behaviour

We tend to interpret the behaviour of others through our own value systems

For example:• John is not mean he’s thrifty

• John is not brave he’s foolhardy

• John is not open he’s naïveJohn is not open he s naïve

• John is not committed he is obsessed

• John is not sensitive he is over emotional

• John is not imaginative he is unrealistic

• John is not sceptical he is cynical

• John is not astute he is cunning

• John is not persuasive he is manipulative

Our interpretation tells us more aboutOur interpretation tells us more about us than it does about John

To truly understand John’s behaviour we need to interpret it through his value system; not ours

© Robina Chatham Ltd

system; not ours


Archetype model

• Eight life stories – identity & fulfilment

• What motivates & drives us – our innermost values

• Helps us understand where others are coming from – their personal agendaspersonal agendas

• Explains chemistry• Increases our chances of

hi i i i tachieving win-win outcomes


Making aMaking adifferencedifferenceArchetypes we live by

FEMALEMALE

MOTHERMOTHERFATHERFATHER

MEDIAMEDIAAMAZONAMAZON MEDIAMEDIATRIXTRIXSAGESAGEWARRIORWARRIOR

HETAIRAHETAIRAETERNAL BOYETERNAL BOY


HETAIRAHETAIRAETERNAL BOYETERNAL BOY

Making aMaking adifferencedifferenceArchetypes and “motor cars”

Volvo estateVolvo estatePeople carrierPeople carrierpp

BMWBMWMercedesMercedes CitrCitrööen 2CVen 2CV

Push bikePush bikeJaguarJaguar Push bikePush bike

PorschePorscheFerrariFerrari4 track4 track


4 track4 trackLarge motor bikeLarge motor bike

Making aMaking adifferencedifferencePrime motivators

Motivation to take Motivation to take responsibility forresponsibility forresponsibility forresponsibility for

othersothers

Motivation Motivation Motivation Motivation to learn andto learn andto achieve to achieve

and winand winto learn and to learn and understandunderstand

Motivation forMotivation for


Motivation for Motivation for adventure and adventure and

freedomfreedom

Making aMaking adifferencedifferenceAs perceived by others

Noted for maturityNoted for maturityand taking responsibilityand taking responsibility

but…but…but…but…Bossy and authoritarianBossy and authoritarian

Attitudes towardsAttitudes towardsAttitudes towardsAttitudes towardsresponsibilityresponsibility

Noted for independence Noted for independence d l f ld l f l


and playfulnessand playfulnessbut…but…

Untrustworthy and flightyUntrustworthy and flighty

Making aMaking adifferencedifferenceAs perceived by others

Noted for Noted for wisdom and wisdom and

intellect butintellect butAttitudes Attitudes towardstowards

Noted for drive Noted for drive andand

charisma butcharisma but intellect but…intellect but…Unworldly and a Unworldly and a

wimpwimp

towards towards ambitionambition

charisma but…charisma but…Aggressive and Aggressive and

pushypushy



Potential strengths and weaknesses

Strengths Strengths –– natural leader, dependable, protectivenatural leader, dependable, protectiveW kW k di i l i fl ibl idi i l i fl ibl iWeaknesses Weaknesses –– dictatorial, inflexible, anxiousdictatorial, inflexible, anxious

Responsibility

Strengths Strengths –– high achiever/producer, high achiever/producer, independent, dynamicindependent, dynamic

Weaknesses Weaknesses –– impatient, insensitive, impatient, insensitive, “cut throat”“cut throat”

Strengths Strengths –– wise, patient, modestwise, patient, modestWeaknesses Weaknesses –– unworldly, lack of unworldly, lack of

common sense, self sacrificingcommon sense, self sacrificing

Winning & succeeding Learning & understanding

Freedom & adventure


Strengths Strengths –– seizes any and all opportunities, exciting, funseizes any and all opportunities, exciting, funWeaknesses Weaknesses –– lack stability, fickle, tendency to abdicatelack stability, fickle, tendency to abdicate


Needs

Father/Mother

ResponsibilityResponsibilityChallengeChallenge

To be in control To be in control

ResponsibilityResponsibilityStability Stability

To learn/acquire To learn/acquire

Warrior/Amazon Sage/Mediatrix

new knowledge new knowledge

AdventureAdventureChallengeChallenge

AdventureAdventureFreedom Freedom

Eternal Boy/Hetaira

ChallengeChallengeExcitementExcitement New interestsNew interests



Dislikes and frustrations

Father/Mother

StupidityStupidityUncertaintyUncertainty

Incompetence Incompetence

ShallownessShallownessAggressive behaviourAggressive behaviourImproper behaviourImproper behaviour


RoutineRoutineWimpsWimps

RoutineRoutineMundaneMundane

Eternal Boy/Hetaira

WimpsWimpsInactivity Inactivity Taking responsibilityTaking responsibility



Dangers that might befall them

Father/Mother

WorkaholicWorkaholicInsufficient attention to Insufficient attention to

own needs/desiresown needs/desires

Unprepared to take a risk or Unprepared to take a risk or chancechance

Not experiencing life to the Not experiencing life to the f llf llNot being able to relaxNot being able to relax


fullfullLack of recognitionLack of recognition

Cut off nose to spite faceCut off nose to spite faceTaking risks with Taking risks with

health/safetyhealth/safety

Not completing Not completing anythinganything

MisunderstoodMisunderstood

Eternal Boy/Hetaira

health/safetyhealth/safetyNever being contentedNever being contented

MisunderstoodMisunderstoodBecome unsettledBecome unsettled



How others may see you

Father/Mother

SensibleSensibleHard workingHard working

ConfidentConfident

SeriousSeriousStudiousStudious

CalmCalm


RestlessRestlessWork hard/play hard typeWork hard/play hard type

Fun & excitingFun & excitingPlayful & immaturePlayful & immature

Eternal Boy/Hetaira

UnpredictableUnpredictableyy

Lazy but luckyLazy but lucky



Dealing with the archetypes – from an Eternal Boy/Sage perspective

Father/Mother

Toughen up, be more Toughen up, be more serious & serious &

demonstrate follow demonstrate follow throughthrough

Be more serious & Be more serious & temper enthusiasmtemper enthusiasm

throughthrough


Toughen up, stand my Toughen up, stand my ground & not get ground & not get

persuaded into doing persuaded into doing Be myself Be myself

Eternal Boy/Hetaira

p gp gthings I am not things I am not

comfortable withcomfortable with



Archetypes and occupations

Father/MotherSocial workerSocial worker

AcademicAcademicCouncillorCouncillor

Civil servantsCivil servants

CEO’sCEO’sSenior ManagersSenior ManagersPolitical leadersPolitical leaders

Army majorArmy majorPrimary teacherPrimary teacher

Cooking & readingCooking & reading

y jy jHead teacherHead teacher

Charity work & golfCharity work & golf


Nature guides Nature guides PhotographerPhotographer

Professional student Professional student

Sports peopleSports peopleSales peopleSales people

EntrepreneursEntrepreneursArchaeologist Archaeologist

ArtistArtistTravelling to new placesTravelling to new places

ppTraders Traders –– futures & futures &

optionsoptionsExtreme sports & Extreme sports &

drinking drinking Eternal Boy/Hetaira


Making aMaking adifferencedifferenceArchetypes and dress

Smart Smart –– suit & tiesuit & tie“Neat and tidy”“Neat and tidy”yy

Sensible and practical Sensible and practical –– umbrellaumbrella

Designer labelsDesigner labelsFormal or smart casualFormal or smart casual

Informal Informal –– cords, tweeds & cords, tweeds & sandals or slipperssandals or slippers

“Hippy”“Hippy”Make an impactMake an impact

HippyHippyComfortable and relaxedComfortable and relaxed

Brands & gadgetsBrands & gadgets


Non conformistNon conformistMake a statementMake a statement


CEO research

FatherFather

60%60%25%25%

WarriorWarrior SageSage

0%0%15%15%

Eternal boyEternal boy


16 males and 4 females16 males and 4 females


Comparative data – length of time in post

CEOs < 5 yrsCEOs < 5 yrs CEOs >18 mthsCEOs >18 mths

60%60% 10%10%

AxisAxis

F th /SF th /S 60%60%

25%25%

10%10%

55%55%

Father/SageFather/Sage

Warrior/FatherWarrior/Father

15%15% 30%30%Eternal Boy/WarriorEternal Boy/Warrior

0%0% 5%5%Sage/Eternal BoySage/Eternal Boy



Two types of leader…

Type E (egocentric)

CharacteristicsLarge ego

Type E (egocentric)

CharacteristicsLarge ego

Type H (humble)

CharacteristicsHumility - shy unpretentious

Type H (humble)

CharacteristicsHumility - shy unpretentiousLarge ego

Personal drive & ambitionStrategy first, people secondLikes to take the creditCite bad luck or external factors when things go wrong

Large egoPersonal drive & ambitionStrategy first, people secondLikes to take the creditCite bad luck or external factors when things go wrong

Humility - shy, unpretentious, awkward, eccentricFierce, even stoic, resolve towards lifePeople first, strategy secondApportion credit to others or good

Humility - shy, unpretentious, awkward, eccentricFierce, even stoic, resolve towards lifePeople first, strategy secondApportion credit to others or goodfactors when things go wrong

Fail to set up for enduring success

factors when things go wrongFail to set up for enduring success

Apportion credit to others, or good luckTake responsibility for & admit their mistakesRoutinely select superb successors

Apportion credit to others, or good luckTake responsibility for & admit their mistakesRoutinely select superb successors

ConsequencesImmediate positive shift in performance only to be followed by its subsequent

ConsequencesImmediate positive shift in performance only to be followed by its subsequent

ConsequencesTransformation to a truly great companyA pioneering and foresighted attitude

ConsequencesTransformation to a truly great companyA pioneering and foresighted attitudefollowed by its subsequent

decline/demiseAt best continued mediocrity

followed by its subsequent decline/demiseAt best continued mediocrity

A pioneering and foresighted attitude coupled with a good dose of shared values

A pioneering and foresighted attitude coupled with a good dose of shared values


Level 5 leadership, Jim Collins, HBR, Jan 2001Level 5 leadership, Jim Collins, HBR, Jan 2001


The Great Irony

The warrior archetype that often drives people to become Type “E” leaders, stands at odds with the humility (coming from the The warrior archetype that often drives people to become Type “E” leaders, stands at odds with the humility (coming from the y ( g

Sage archetype) required to become a Type “H” leader

When you combine this irony with the fact that boards of

y ( gSage archetype) required to become a Type “H” leader

When you combine this irony with the fact that boards of directors frequently operate under the false belief that a larger-

than-life, egocentric leader is required to make a company great, you can see why Type “H” CEOs are in the minority

directors frequently operate under the false belief that a larger-than-life, egocentric leader is required to make a company great, you can see why Type “H” CEOs are in the minority



Characteristics of a true team

Small number of peopleWith complementary skillsRotating leadershipRotating leadershipEngaged in the production of a collective work productU it d iUnited in a common purposeWork with positive intentions towards the collective goodUnderstand each other



Team values

What values do you believe should drive your team into the future? What values do you believe should drive your team into the future?

Being with people you like Helping other people Personal growthBeing with people you like

Budget control

Challenging complex problems

Change and variety

Competence

Helping other people

Helping society

Honesty

Independence

Influencing others

Personal growth

Power and authority

Public service

Quality of what I take part in

Recognitionp

Competition

Creativity

Decisiveness

Effectiveness

g

Innovation

Integrity

Intellectual status

Job tranquillity

g

Reputation

Respect

Responsibility and accountability

Search for truth

Efficiency

Ethical practice

Excellence

Excitement

Knowledge

Leadership

Love of country

Loyalty

Security

Stability

Status

Team work

Fame

Fast-paced work

Flexibility

Freedom

Friendship

Meaningful work

Membership of the Community

Money to spend

Order

Personal challenge

Telling the truth

Tolerance

Trust

Wisdom

Work under pressure


Friendship

Fun

Personal challenge

Personal development

Work under pressure

Making aMaking adifferencedifferenceProcess

Step 1Step 1Everyone works through the list of values on their own and selects the ten values they feel should drive the team into the future

Step 2 Step 2 Each group consolidates all their individual views and select the most popular five values

Step 3 Step 3 Each group lists their top five values on a flip chart and adds a one line justification for its choice to each value

Step 4Step 4Everyone now considers all the selected values along with their justifications and casts their vote alongside their top three. The top scoring three to five values are then selected



Team values and their relationship to the archetypes

R ibilit & St bilitResponsibility & StabilityFather/Mother

responsibility & accountability

effectiveness

love of country

tolerancethi l ti

public serviceorder

helping other people

efficiency

effectiveness leadershipcompetence

power & authority

influencing others

decisiveness

respect

budget control

h l i i tteam work

loyaltymembership of the community

stability

securitytelling the truthethical practice

integrity

being with people you like

status quality of what I take part in

excellence

money to spendcompetition

reputation

personal growth

knowledge

job tranquillity

helping societypersonal development

meaningful work

Growth & Profit Learning & Understandingrecognition

personal challenge

fame

creativity

intellectual statussearch for truth

wisdom

challenging complex problems

Warrior/Amazong g

Sage/Media trix

work under pressure

fast paced work

innovation

change & variety

freedom

excitement

independence

friendship


Innovation & RiskEternal boy/Hetaira

flexibility

fun

independence


Thank – you and any questions?

Dr Robina Chatham


Dr Robina [email protected]

+44 (0)1234 765103

Demystifyingthe Behaviourof Others

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