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The Terror of Our TimesVolume 1

They sent their spies, and blurted their negative tempo cries,

But alas o Lord, when shall those nitwits realise,

All their insipid efforts shall be futile, kyunki

Dushmano mein bhar de dard, Dehashatgard, Dehshatgard!!

Its high time the Cult Comm considered a change of name from T -nite to D-nite asthats what its all about. A Dominating show by Dehshatgard that left all the

others either jaundiced (read Bhuchaal) or crusading and cannibalising for scraps.

19:59:59: The skies reverberate with the bellicose chants of Dehshatgardis as they

storm into RJM, the acoustics of which failed to contain their piercing chants. To thegreat disappointment of all watching, then came trotting in the little red ridingchindichors, a one-flagged army of wannabe cannibals. Their garish red outfits weremore in the sadakchap Rom eo s on Valentines day league leave alone even an iotaof cannibalism. Then came the brown ones who must not be named, for their namesare a reflection of their collective stupidity.

Oh yes, then came the ones who came, who saw and conqu... err... nope...whochanged. A cheap publicity stunt? Mass Memory failure? Or just severe ineptitude?

We shall never know because those who saw it will not care, such was themagnitude of their faux pas. And finally, enter the haundiced (horny and jaundiced)

bhootkaals. Were they Coldplay fans or were they really sick, but they were allyellow . Read on for some insightfu l articles ahead.

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The 4 C Test

E Section Bags Contract for Institute Toilets

In a press release today the Institute announcedthat they would be providing toilet paper in alltoilets which will be provided solely by Section E.Section E will be providing their daily newsletterfor this purpose, which will serve the dualpurpose of serving in-toilet reading and keepingeveryones arse clean. In an exclusive interviewwith the Dainik Dehshat the SAO said that theclinching factors in the successful bid were the

utter crap that Section E posts in their newsletterwhich makes it apt for this purpose.

If your CR is dressed as a magnificent peacock, tohaap C hai. If you need the Pied Piper of Comatose Chimps tomake you sway to music, toh aap C hai. If you remember that you have a T-shirt to wearafter you reach RJM, toh aap C hai. If you can get disqualified from a sack race, tohaap C hai.

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Aaj ki Taaza Dehshat

Ohh cmon, now we dont know want to know all the details of what thehilakewaales..err..the elaakewales did

We all know about the strong caninepresence in WIMWI. Well, the dogs of

WIMWI have sent a mixed response toa certain section's name.While some feelcheated for they consider themselves thereal elakawaalas, some are happy that a section has finally decided to adoptthem. Since dogs are known to mark their "elaaka" by peeing around, so

everyone just beware when you come across the elaakawala. But you never know,this year might really be the trend changer if we see "tempo barks" instead of temposhouts for the first time in T-nite history.

Microsoft sues Section E for copyright infringement

Microsoft announced it was filing a law suit against section E for blatantinfringement of their copyrights related internet explorer logo. I dont knowhow much lamer do we need to make our logos to stop people from copyingthem. In a related case a con cerned TUCCHA filed public interest litigation

against the lewd display of creativity shown by section E. They look like abunch of numb nuts just out of methadone clinic (seriously an internetexplorers logo!!)

Hepatitis A epidemic hits Section B

PGP 1 section B has been hit by an outbreak of Hepatitis A. Most of theirmembers were seen looking decidedly pale and yellow. The institute doctorconfirmed that the situation is indeed very serious, The disease seems tointerfering with the functioning of the brain,they run around wearing hornsand compare themselves to earthquakes. We urge you to join us in wishingsection B a quick recovery.

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And now...Please bow down to the undisputed winners of Day 1. And deservedlyso! The Pub run was a one-horse race as the Dehshatgards stormed across thefinish line. Cheers and chants rang across the night sky. Once again Section D hadproved their might.

Apologies for repeatedly mentioning, but Crusaders, how do you get disqualifiedin a sack race?

Doesnt really matter cause:

Hamare saamne jhukega sabka sar,

Dehshatgard, Dehshatgard!!

Thats all folks for today! Heres wishing A,B,C,E and X an equally terrorising daytomorrow.