Beverly Byrum-Robinson and B.J. Hennig “ Defensiveness affects a host of communication functions in organizations as well as individual understanding and perceptions, interpersonal effectiveness, work effectiveness, and organizational effectiveness.

(Argyris, 1986; Baker, 1980; Giacalone, 1987; Peterson, 1977; Sussman, 1991) “ Defensiveness—the act of protecting one’s self—often is viewed as a serious threat to communication and the subsequent success of organizations

Beverly Byrum-Robinson and B.J. Hennig “ Defensiveness affects people self-understanding, interpersonal effectiveness, and work effectiveness.

Self-Understanding

Self-understanding is an important prerequisite to understanding and

relating with others.

Self-understanding is enhanced when one can identify the reasons one

becomes defensive and the behaviors one exhibits when defensive.

Self-Understanding If someone tells a trainer in a training session that he or she does not live in the “real world,” so the skills he or she teaches won’t work, the trainer feels defensive.

The reasons may be:

¤  The trainer’s credibility is being attacked, so he or she feels attacked.

¤  The trainer feels threatened (someone may think he or she is incompetent).

¤  The trainer feels angry because he or she thinks the skills being taught are very practical.

Self-Understanding Because of these feelings, the trainer switches to a self-protective mode, which results in defensive behaviors. These may include:

¤  Responding with a sarcastic comment.

¤  Overexplaining and justifying.

¤  Asserting his or her status as an expert.

Unfortunately, behaviors such as these are unlikely to change the other person’s mind or help the trainer to feel better.

Self-Understanding

Individuals need to know to what they respond to defensively and how they respond defensively.

The focus needs to be on their own behaviors (which are under their control), not on the correctness or fairness of

the other person’s behavior.

In the example given, if the trainer were more aware of the triggering behaviors, he or she could handle the situation

better and contribute to a productive outcome.

Interpersonal Effectiveness

Interpersonal effectiveness is the ability to communicate effectively and to

resolve problems with others.

Controlling defensiveness enhances interpersonal effectiveness.

Interpersonal Effectiveness ¤  Continuing with the example, if the trainer responds with a

sarcastic answer to the person who tells him or her that he or she doesn’t live in the “real world,” the trainee may not participate for the rest of the session.

¤  If the trainer simply reasserts his or her explanation and justification, the trainee may not feel listened to.

¤  If the trainer reasserts his or her status as an expert, the trainee will feel discounted.

Thus, defensiveness results in deterioration of communication, which may lead to withdrawal, win/lose arguments, and/or standoffs. None of these situations allow relationships to be built or problems to be solved.

Work Effectiveness

Because defensiveness prevents individuals from establishing trusting

relationships, issues cannot be openly discussed; valuable opinions are not

offered; and information may be withheld.

Work Effectiveness

Problem solving then cannot address all necessary facts.

Consequently, defensive behavior polarizes individuals and eliminates the

possibility of arriving at creative and collaborative alternatives.

Activating event consequences

beliefs

Activating event consequences

thoughts

Physical reactions

feelings

behaviors

Activating event consequences

feelings

Feeling attacked

behaviors Sensitivity to flaw

Activating event consequences

feelings

Feeling attacked

behaviors Sensitivity to flaw

Factor 4: Sensitivity to Flaw ¤  I  screamed.    ¤  I  did  not  let  the  other  person  talk.    ¤  I  thought  that  I  was  different/did  not  

belong.    ¤  I  cried.    ¤  I  thought  my  values/beliefs  were  

a<acked/challenged.    ¤  I  felt  uncomfortable  with  my  

surroundings.    ¤  I  was  emo=onal  about  the  topic.  

Activating event consequences

feelings

Feeling attacked

behaviors Sensitivity to flaw

Factor 1: Feelings, Fear, Sadness ¤  I felt depressed. ¤  I felt scared. ¤  I felt alone. ¤  I felt uncertain. ¤  I felt ashamed. ¤  I felt hurt. ¤  I felt deflated. ¤  I felt flushed. ¤  My voice became “shaky.” ¤  I felt inadequate. ¤  I felt disappointed.

Activating event consequences

feelings

Feeling attacked

behaviors Sensitivity to flaw

Factor 2: Feeling Attacked ¤  I had been wrongly attacked. ¤  I felt a sense of injustice. ¤  I had a “personality conflict” with

someone. ¤  I felt discounted. ¤  I realized there was a flaw in my

viewpoint.

Activating event consequences

feelings

Feeling attacked

behaviors Sensitivity to flaw

Factor 3: Consequent Behaviors ¤  I wanted to hurt the person(s) that

made me defensive. ¤  I wanted to damage something. ¤  I lectured the person. ¤  I wanted to get even. ¤  I became defensive toward person(s)

similar to those involved in this situation.

closing

How do you think your inventory would have been different if you had thought of

a personal, rather than an AIESEC, situation?

What does that tell you?

closing

What have you learned about sending messages that engender defensiveness?

How might you change your own messages to decrease the likelihood of

defensive reactions from others?

closing

What is your hypothesis about how defensiveness is affecting your work

relationships at your LC?

How is affecting your life in general?