THE UNIVERSITY OF VICTORIA’S INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER •DECEMBER 5, 2013 • VOLUME 66 • ISSUE 17 • MARTLET.CA

DISTRESSED? DE-STRESSPAGE 3

ASSAULT HOLDS BACK OUR HOCKEY GAMESPAGE 16

UNITED IN ACTION ON VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMENPAGE 10

HERE’S HOPING CELLPHONE COMPANIES IMPROVE SERVICEPAGE 8

www.felicitas.ca

NEWS In 2003, rapper Bow Wow released his fi rst album without the Lil’ in his name. Aw.

December 5, 2013 MARTLET • NEWS 3

SOPHIE PINKOSKI

It’s that time of the year again. Once, twice, or even three times a year, stu-dents must face the end of term and prove what they’ve learned in that battle of wits that is last-minute assign-ments and prelude to exams. The UVic Student Ambassadors have done everything they can to make the penul-timate week of classes as stress-free as possible. They called it the fi fth annual De-Stress Fest—an extravaganza of events throughout the week designed to lower stress levels.

The events kicked off on Tuesday, Nov. 26, with free hot chocolate by the Petch Fountain. With the added entice-ment of cookies donated by UVic Food

Services, the event made a popular turnout. Student Ambassador Celeste Barnes-Crouse calls it a “quick little giveaway to brighten people’s day.” The aim, she says, is to reach the many students cramming away in the library and offer them a little relief from their studies. The setup proved successful, and Barnes-Crouse estimates a healthy 300 to 600 people stopped by for free treats.

Later that afternoon, the SUB played host to a lively Zumba session led by Claire Handley and Adriana Tobon of Studio VZF fi tness centre. Zumba, Handley explains, “is the most fun you will ever have working out.” The giddy grins throughout the room breathed truth into Handley’s words. A small

gathering of a dozen workout-ready students fi lled the room with their enthusiasm once they get going.

Soon, the Michèle Pujol Room became a Latin-based dance party, with a fresh, modern twist, and eve-ryone mastered their own personal brand of hip-shaking to “I’m Sexy and I Know It.” In this makeshift Zumba studio, imperfection was embraced. “You don’t have to be someone who knows how to dance or has any sense of rhythm,” Handley says. “All you do is come and do the class the way you feel comfortable moving to the music.” This may just be an ideal option to counter-act the strict expectations of university life.

Wednesday, Nov. 27, offered a more

creative outlet, with a crafty make-your-own stress ball table in the morning and splatter painting in the afternoon. These events show that even taking fi ve minutes to funnel sand into a balloon or throw paint at blank paper might be the difference between a good and bad day . Just like Zumba, the objec-tive isn’t to create a masterpiece; it’s to offer one more option to relieve stress.

By far the biggest crowd-pleaser of the week was Thursday’s Puppy Playtime. The volunteers at Pacifi c Animal Therapy Society (PATS) were on-hand with over a dozen pooches to take every last ounce of stress away. It was a much larger event than previ-ous years; the conference room was packed with students, and boasted a

busy lineup at the door. Circles formed around each dog as everyone fawned over the most adorable pup. An eight-month-old Basset Hound named Ian fl opped back against the fl oor as he received a perfect belly rub, while a tiny Pomeranian named Mitzy ran eager cir-cles before standing on her hind legs for a treat. The dogs were all well-behaved, and with good reason: every one of them had been hand-picked for this very occasion. PATS volunteers and their pets attend events like the De-Stress Fest with the intent of pro-viding therapy through human-animal contact. And with that many dogs in one room, helping to see the De-Stress Fest to a close, it’s no wonder students agree that it was so much fun.

De-stress fest: a sure-fi re way to stress lessBRENNA WAUGH

4 NEWS • MARTLET December 5, 2013

HANA RYU

Citizens for Safe Technology (CST) and B.C. Hydro’s commercial customers are taking expanded class action against B.C. Hydro, as they believe the Smart Meter program violates citizens’ civil rights. The exact court date is not yet settled, however, since the judge has yet to “certify the file.”

Sharon Noble, director of CST, said, “Our [new] class action is on behalf of the people who want [Smart Meters] removed, as well as analog owners who have been harassed and bullied.” According to Noble, commercial cus-tomers of B.C. Hydro have not been given the choice of opting out of Smart Meters. She said commercial customers who assert rights to opt out are partici-pating in this expanded class action.

The previous class action, certified last July, addressed the additional cost of $35 that B.C. Hydro is asking of those who don’t have Smart Meters in their

homes. “We believe that people have the right to live in their homes free and safe without paying for it,” said Noble.

Greg Reimer, B.C. Hydro’s execu-tive vice president of Transmission and Distribution, said, “A small number of people have asked for a choice. We are offering eligible residential customers the option of keeping an old meter, taking a radio-off meter, or installing a Smart Meter. Commercial custom-ers are not eligible for these choices, mainly because of the complexity of commercial rate structures.”

“[B.C. Hydro] began to harass and intimidate people who have analog meters by letters and telephone calls that are telling [people] to sign and send out new forms,” said Noble. She says the requested form shows whether customers are willing to pay additional costs with their analog meters or they will install Smart Meters. Noble believes that people are signing another contract by sending the forms

back to B.C. Hydro. Noble said, “You are authorizing, recognizing, and legiti-matizing B.C. Hydro’s rights [about Smart Meters].”

However, the judge has not yet certified this new, expanded class action. According to Reimer, “The B.C. Court of Appeal and the B.C. Utilities Commission have previously dismissed legal challenges related to the instal-lation of Smart Meters.” Among three class actions that were brought up, the second was dismissed. He also noted “B.C. Hydro is acting at all times within the law, to ensure that our electricity system operates in a safe and reliable manner.”

“We are just starting, [and] I believe that person who started [the class action] has 20 or 30 businesses signed up so far,” said Noble. She says differ-ent kinds of commercial customers who are participating in this new class action include hotel owners, doctors, chiro-practors, apartment units, dentists, and

organic farm owners. Noble also said, “Under the Utilities

Commissions Act, we discovered that B.C. Hydro is violating [one] sec-tion which demonstrates that utility should not discriminate in race and treatment.” She explained further by saying that B.C. Hydro is discriminating against customers based on the instal-lation of Smart Meters.

Jessica Klein, owner of Homestead Certified Organic Farm, believes that health issues are among the biggest concerns. “Studies that I trust show that emissions from [Smart Meters] are harmful,” she said. “We were never consulted democratically [about this matter]. We’ve been denied our dem-ocratic rights.” Klein says there are some people who are so sensitive to certain radio waves that they do not even have microwaves in their houses. “As organic farmers, we have chosen certain lifestyles, and we do not want [Smart Meters] to be forced upon us,”

added Klein. The World Health Organization

has classified waves such as those from Smart Meters as a possible human carcinogen, but B.C. Hydro has said the B.C. Centre for Disease Control, the Provincial Health Officer, Health Canada, and the World Health Organization have confirmed no known health risks from Smart Meters.

“This third class action, we are hoping to roll that in with first one as well. So we have to wait and see if it becomes certified or not,” said Klein.

Noble views this matter positively, as she thinks the court must protect citi-zens’ Charter of Rights and Freedom. She said, “If we allow this precedent to be set, then what will stop them from doing more?”

Reimer added, “The legal action being organized is a separate matter, and we will continue to work through the judicial process.”

CST expands class action against B.C. Hydro

ERIC HOLDIJK

The RCMP and B.C. Transit are inves-tigating a rash of pellet gun shootings targeting buses in the Sooke area. Nine incidents have occurred since Oct. 31. No one has been injured and B.C. Transit services were not interrupted, but authorities are treating the situation very seriously.

“The safety of our employees and our customers is of paramount concern for B.C. Transit,” said Manuel Achadinha, B.C. Transit President and CEO, in a Nov. 18 press release.

No arrests have been made and police currently have no persons of interest in the case.

“The person responsible could be fac-ing charges under the criminal code,” said Staff Seargent Steven Wright of the Sooke RCMP in a Nov. 6 press release. Elaborating in an interview, he said that

the perpetrator or perpetrators could be looking at nine counts of mischief under $5 000.

Many of the buses were shot while travelling southbound along Sooke Road, between the hours of 5 and 8 p.m. The shots struck the front windshield of each bus. B.C. Transit suspects the shots originated from an oncoming vehicle, due to the high accuracy and the amount of damage to the windshields. The total cost of the damage is not finalized, but B.C. Transit estimates at least $10000.

In response to the shootings, B.C. Transit has posted extra personnel in each of the buses that have been tar-geted, in hopes that if another shooting occurs, an extra set of eyes will help determine where the gun is firing from. The RCMP has also taken “extraordinary measures,” said Wright, but at this time can’t give details, to protect the integrity of the investigation.

B.C. Transit has been unable to recover any of the pellets and can’t iden-tify the exact type of weapon used. Pellet guns—also known as air guns—that can fire projectiles at a certain speed and force need to be registered and licenced under the Firearms Act. Less powerful air guns are exempt from these regulations but, when used to commit a crime, are considered firearms under the Criminal Code, which can raise the severity of a sentence.

“It’s disturbing that so many buses have been targeted for this kind of van-dalism. It’s very dangerous,” said Wright.

In an effort to encourage the public to come forward with information, Crime Stoppers featured the case as a Crime of the Week from Nov. 17 to Nov. 28. Anyone with info is asked to call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-8477 or the Sooke RCMP at 250-642-5241.

Pellet provocateur remains at largeCrime Stoppers seeks tips in bus-shooting crimes

BRANDON EVERELL

BRANDON EVERELL

December 5, 2013 MARTLET • NEWS 5

HELEN DE WIT

Political Science and Environmental Studies

”

“What are you doing to make a

better future for us students?

What would you ask the university president?

MABEL BOB-MANUEL

Third year Psychology and Environmental Studies

”

“What are you doing with

international students?

SCOTT RICHARDSON

Third yearPhilosophy

”

“What is your plan to make

UVic a better school?

MAI HIRABAYASHI

ELPI 419A levelEnglish Second Language

”

“I think the tuition is very

expensive for ESL students.

So, please, cut down this

tuition.

JEEWAN GILL

Fifth yearPsychology

”“

What’s his name?

DOCUMENTATION BY SHANDI SHIACH & BETH PARKER

6 NEWS • MARTLET December 5, 2013

TARYN BROWNELL

Every year, B.C. Transplant gives transplant recipients and donors the chance to give back to B.C. hospital staff. They deliver tins of popcorn to doctors and nurses in the intensive care units, emergency departments, and operating rooms. The event, called Operation Popcorn, took place this year from Dec. 2–6.

On Dec. 2 at the Royal Jubilee Hospital, three transplant recipi-ents and a volunteer joined Shannon McCloskey, the in-house co-ordina-tor for the Vancouver Island Health Authority with B.C. Transplant, to give their thanks to the hospital staff.

Glenda Beecham, a fourth-year Anthropology student at UVic, was among the transplant recipients in attendance. In August of 2012, Beecham received a liver transplant. This year is her fi rst year participating in Operation Popcorn.

Beecham says Operation was an important way to show her

appreciation for all the staff and the workers who helped her through her transplant. She wanted to say to hospi-tal staff, “Thank you for all of your hard work and everything you’ve done for me and all the transplant recipients.”

Steve Farmer, the team leader of Operation Popcorn in Victoria, received his liver transplant nine years ago on Jan. 1. He’s been participating in Operation Popcorn for two years. He said he wanted to “give back for all the caring of the B.C. health sys-tem.” Farmer spent Christmas that year in the Victoria General Hospital. He stated that at the time, his illness had caused his skin to turn to a yel-lowish colour.

Susan Harrison was on life support when she received her liver 12 years ago. She commented that a patient has to be practically dying to make it onto the transplant list. She believes that it is important to show hospital staff how transplants have helped the patients because, most of the time, doctors and nurses only get to see

people when they’re sick. The participants of this year’s

Operation Popcorn moved through the hospital, discussing their individ-ual transplant experiences and how the hospital systems work. As all the recipients in attendance had received livers, they spent some time talking about the trips to Vancouver they had to make for checkups. While Victoria does have places to go for after-transplant checkups, the Operation Popcorn attendees explained that there is nowhere in Victoria that caters to liver transplant recipients. Farmer stated that he has to go to Vancouver for checkups that take only 15 minutes. The group was in agreement, though, that having to sometimes make a short trip is worth it to be healthy.

Everyone who attended Operation Popcorn at the Royal Jubilee Hospital stressed the importance of becoming a donor. Medical expenses for tests and lab work that living donors are required to undergo are covered by the B.C. Medical Services Plan. There

is even a living donor expense reim-bursement program that some living donors may qualify for.

Operation Popcorn visited 28 hospitals between Dec. 2 and 6 and delivered 97 tins of popcorn to hospital staff. There were 107 volun-teers involved, groups consisting of

recipients, living donors, and donor families. The program has been run-ning for 22 years.

For more information on transplants and being a donor, go to www.tranplant.

bc.ca.

B.C. Transplant starts holiday season off with a popOperation Popcorn gives tins of popcorn to hospital staff

PROVIDED

PHYSIOTHERAPY SERVICES University of Victoria Orthopedic & Sports Physiotherapy Clinic Stewart Complex Physiotherapy services are available to UVic students, staff and members of the community. Please call 250-472-4057 for an appointment.

Winter 2014

UVic Campus Recreation Guide

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CAMPUS RECREATION

Pick up your copy of the

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@vikesrec /vikesrec@uvicrec

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or in person at the Ian Stewart Complex or McKinnon Gym

8 OPINIONS • MARTLET December 5, 2013

Opinions The referendum on increasing UVSS events funding failed, with 16.09 per cent voter turnout.

EDITORIAL

Editorial topics are decided on by staff at our editorial meetings, held weekly in the Martlet offi ce (SUB B011). Editorials are written by one or more staff members and are not necessarily the opinion of all staff members.

Happy? Sad? Enraged? Tell us: letters@martlet.ca

The Martlet has an open letter policy and will endeavour to publish letters received from the university and local community. Letters must be submitted by email, include your real name and affi liation to UVic and have “Letter to the editor” in the subject line. Letters must be under 200 words and may be edited.

ADAM HAYMAN

Fucking phone companies, right? If ever there were a group of compa-nies with a fi rmer grasp on the wallets of this fi ne country, I haven’t heard of them (besides maybe “Big Oil,” or “Big Tobacco,” but that’s another can of worms for another rant). Phone compa-nies have a history of pulling cash from the pleading hands of Canadians, using overly confusing, out-of-the-blue fees and unknown overuse of data. Then they paint on a smile and guide your hand as you sign away your paycheque on the dotted line; all for the hot new phone that always seems to die or is out-of-date halfway through your pain-ful three-year contract. They’re wasting our money, and I’m fed up.

By now we’ve all heard about how Canada has some of the highest cell-phone bills in the world, and you too may have been heartbroken upon hear-ing that Verizon won’t be coming to Canada soon (which would’ve hypothet-ically driven down the cost of monthly phone bills). However, a new Canadian Radio-television Telecommunications

Commission (CRTC) code just came into effect on Dec. 2. For those who are up for a new plan in the New Year, you may fi nally see some basic human decency from the usually impersonal “Big Three” phone providers: Telus, Rogers, and Bell.

The new code set up by the CRTC allows customers to terminate their contracts after two years, with no puni-tive cancellation fees (this sadly applies only to contracts made after Dec. 2. I checked—I still have a year left on my plan). Additionally, the new code allows consumers to unlock their phones after 90 days, or immediately if the phone is fully paid for from the get-go. The new code also requires plans to be written in plain language. No more hidden, small-print ripoffs. Certain aspects of a fi xed-term contract can be declined. Key terms of a plan must be summarized in two pages in a large font. Cellphones can be returned within 15 days if the owner is unhappy with the service. Furthermore, extra data charges are capped at $50 a month, and roaming is capped at $100 a month. No more sto-ries of absent-minded teens streaming

YouTube while on vacation south of the border and coming home to a $22 000 phone bill.

Canada doesn’t necessarily pay more than other countries, says a recent investigation by the Huffi ngton Post; however, Canadian phone companies do make more money off of us. Extra competition from Verizon could be great for the country. Cellphones are one of those commodities that are global by nature. While I’m all for local businesses, this competition could be really helpful. Hopefully the new code will at least make the “Big Three” more concerned about treating their custom-ers with respect. Contract headaches, hidden fees, and being put on hold for hours are the worst parts of phone companies. If this code changes the poor service offered by phone compa-nies, I’m all for it.

After losing my “fancy” new Sony Ericsson Xperia X10 one month into my contract two years ago, I am itching to get rid of my moody Blackberry Torch loaner phone. These new rules on con-tracts are a great victory for Canada and a step in the right direction.

CRTC clears up cellphone contract confusion

ERIC HOLDIJK

Like an old god’s curse, winter has descended once more. The north-ern half of the province at least has the pleasantries of snow—that inno-cent pillow stuffi ng that smooths out the sharp corners and hides the ugly bits. But in Victoria, snow means spillage from the world’s largest dirt-fl avoured Slurpee.  That’s if we’re lucky. Usually  it’s just rain and a ven-omous wet cold.

Winter is as an excuse to go to Mexico, you say. I say, screw that! Winter is the best, and I’d gladly toss the knife to it in a death-match against the other seasons. I’d support the coup that would see it reign all year.  

Before you tie your best boy scout knot and  slip the  noose around my neck,  let me explain myself. I’ll list the obvious points. The compara-tive argument: a hopeful ray of sun needs a concrete slab of cloud to punch through; for a warm sum-mer day you need a cold winter’s morning to stand in contrast. The

“Act  of  God”  argument: winter increases the  chance  of a class-can-celling storm right before that paper is due. The TV marathon excuse: not showering or leaving your couch feels so much more justifi able when it’s crap outside. The sporting traditions: road trips to [insert ski hill here]  or bellowing Luongo’s name at your TV screen are options.

All of these are standard.  But the best result of any miserable weather is our human reaction to it: a bad storm drives us into one another’s arms.  When Typhoon  Haiyan reminded us that we’re all just apes with delusions of grandeur, on an uncaring rock, we reacted with an outpouring of aid. Winter humbles us in a similar way. 

For example, during last week’s cold snap,  a woman bundled up to her eyes gave free hugs in front of the library for no apparent reason. These things do not happen in sum-mer when warmth is in glut.  Neither do food hampers. Even Christmas›s glassy-eyed consumerism makes me

smile because fundamentally it’s an excuse to pile love on one another, even if only the material-sort.

Fellow humans are much more precious when Nature is trying to expunge us like bacteria. When rain lashes our windows, we fi nd com-fort in a  cup of hot chocolate with a friend, or a beer in a noisy pub. We crowd around the fi re, or the yule log channel.

I am not saying don’t complain (though this city does have the mild-est winter in the whole province). By all means, complain away. But don’t complain  at people; complain with them. Revel in how miserable the sleet is. Share your umbrella at the bus stop. Make soup  for your lab partner and  nest with your lover underneath the duvet. Don’t have any friends? Winter’s misery is the great-est icebreaker. Next time you’re in the law library and feeling lonely, smile and loudly proclaim this Canadianism: Fuck it’s cold, eh?!

You will get a reaction, I promise.

In praise of winterWhat do the holidays mean in the 21st century? The winter holidays fundamentally promote and celebrate faith in humanity, family, and seasonal joy. Ironically, this time of the year can be, above all, isolating and lonely for many. Are the holidays ultimately as joyful as our cultural beliefs suggest?

Perhaps holiday loneliness is so profound because memories of past happiness and hopes for future happiness are half of what the holidays are about. For some, deep isolation stems from not celebrating the holidays while everyone else is caught up in celebration. Others may not have anyone to spend the holidays with, such as older generations who are left behind while their families go on vacation. And, in some cases, the holidays are simply a stressful time when expectations are high and pressure to “enjoy the season” is simply intolerable.

When it comes down to it, the holidays can create a lot of expectations. It may be the fi rst time you have seen your family since September, or perhaps you want to try to fi t in as much fun as possible in this fl eeting moment of time off. High expectations can often build up stress, despite the winter break’s purpose as stress relief from school. The pressure to be merry can have perverse effects, and that’s a natural thing—there is no need to feel guilty.

Particularly because we have challenges in our lives, the holidays are important for non-spiritual reasons; students need time to better understand the full purpose and meaning of their studies. It’s good to take the time to refl ect and feel proud of how far you’ve come, as well as appreciate the values that you hold. Even if you think jingle bells or dreidels are a bunch of hooey, the holidays are still redemptive and important unto themselves; although a little repose and mindfulness is some-times needed so we remember. Winter celebrations serve that immutable human need for social connection and recognition of the value behind relationships we spend the rest of the year building.

The holidays may be an opportunity to realize that more important things than assignments, tests, and grades are still part of our lives. Take a break from the stress of class, the stress of the holidays, and dig a little deeper.

There is plenty of magic to be found during the holiday season, whether you spend it celebrating or not, alone or with others. And it doesn’t need to be stress-ful or lonesome. Instead, the winter holidays can be a period of rejuvenation, thoughtfulness and rest. But if we’re at all resentful about our current station in life or overly preoccupied with, say, the exams and fi nal papers we spent months stressing over, some extra effort is necessary to get the most out of winter break.

For many people, particularly some seniors, the holidays can exacerbate exist-ing feelings of isolation. So spend time with seniors—either your relatives, your friend’s grandparents, or even just a new friend at a retirement home or a mall food court. Spread joy through simple acts of kindness, rather than only gifts. Honour old traditions, and leave space to try new activities that incorporate family, friends, and maybe even strangers. And, sometimes, a smile is all it takes to brighten someone’s day, including your own.

The holidays don’t need to be characterized by religion, tradition, or consumerism. They can truly be about things that are more subtle, such as caring for oneself, appreciation of others, and recognition of what we already have.

Finding and creating joy this holiday season

KLARA WOLDENGA

BRANDON EVERELL

December 5, 2013 MARTLET • OPINIONS 9

NICOLE FRASER

I had a most interesting experience today trying to book a party for my soon-to-be-four-year-old girl. It could have been simple. I knew where she wanted to have the party, who she wanted to invite, and when we wanted to book it; with lots of fl ex-ibility for working with whatever dates happened to be available. Her birth-day is Jan. 17, so we were planning it with some notice. She wanted to have a party at a local day spa and store for kids. They have many amazing, inex-pensive spa services, such as sparkly tattoos, manicures, make-your-own lip gloss, haircuts and styling, and so much more. To make it even better, they are more than happy to provide all services, including manicures and temporary tattoos, for boys. Their birthday parties are expensive, but, in my opinion, very much worth the cost. The experience the kids have during the themed parties is amazing, and they are sent home with all kinds of neat, party-themed presents. So, with all this in mind, it seemed to me that booking my daughter’s fourth birth-day party there would be simple; a piece of birthday cake.

First obstacle: boys. My daughter is a rough-and-tumble girl. When I asked her dance teacher what dance class would be most suitable for my daugh-ter, she recommended a hip hop class with mostly male students: “It has a very boyish energy, and so does she, so it will be perfect for her!” Most of her friends are boys. She also has an

older brother who is seven years old, and two stepbrothers ages six and 12. When I showed the woman at the front desk my daughter’s party-invite list, she refused to book the party. She called her boss. Her boss also said no. They explained that they had a maxi-mum number of 3 boys allowed to join a party. I explained that my daughter really wanted her party at the day spa, but excluding her brothers and best friends wouldn’t be okay with either of us. I was directed to call the owner myself, which I did as I sat at in the spa/store.

Next obstacle: Glow-in-the-dark vs. Princess party. My daughter wanted a glow-in-the-dark party. It involves glow-in-the-dark face paint, nail pol-ish, and games. I was informed that this would not be okay for a four-year-old girl, because she would be too scared. The room, I was informed, would be very dark. I let them know that playing with glow-in-the-dark-toys in the dark was an activity my daughter already engaged in, and that she would not be scared. I did not manage to convince them. The answer was a fi rm no.

All of the women I spoke to at the business told me that most parties were designed for girls, and that they had no parties designed for boys. I could see that they had many services for boys, so a lack of birthday parties was unexpected. I was told that there were no boys’ birthday parties and that there was a maximum of three boys allowed at a party because “boys like to run and play more than girls” and

“would take over the party.” I told her that my daughter’s male friends and brothers would be happy to have their nails and faces painted and engage in all of the birthday party activities.

The woman behind the front desk recommended a “Princess party.” I said that while the boys do love hav-ing their nails painted, I would feel strange inviting them to something called a “Princess party,” which is

overtly feminine. They reminded me that their parties are designed for girls. I responded with, “Yes, but the ‘Rock star party’ and ‘Glow-in-the-dark party’ are not overtly feminine. They include some stereotypically feminine activities, ones that I know the boys will enjoy, but the names of the parties are not as overt as ‘Princess party.’”

There are a lot of assumptions here

about what girls enjoy and how that differs from what boys enjoy. Seeing these assumptions made by an amaz-ing, fairly gender-progressive day spa for kids really took me by surprise. I think it’s time that we re-examine what it means to celebrate a child’s birth-day and what role the child’s gender plays in the type of celebration that is organized to honour that milestone.

Sexism and birthday parties

CHORONG KIM

JESSICA HOLDEN

Here in Victoria, the “City of Gardens,” we take pride in our spec-tacular natural surroundings and our environmental consciousness. It therefore comes as a disgraceful embarrassment to most that such a self-proclaimed “green” city would be spewing raw, untreated sewage into our beloved coastal waters.

Approximately 1 500 litres per sec-ond of raw Victoria waste is pumped out of two deep-ocean outfalls, just over a kilometre from the shore. Approximately 130 million litres a dayare fl ushed out the pipes, enough to fi ll 52 stinking Olympic-sized swim-ming pools. This reckless expulsion of sewage has prompted demands to build multiple sewage treatment plants throughout Victoria, a plan approved by the B.C. Minister of Environment in August 2010. The sci-ence behind this decision, however, is not as clear as you may think.

THE FUSS OVER POOP

Sewage has become a subject of increasing concern, because sew-age in the ocean tends to trigger blooms of algae—a process known as eutrophication. Eutrophication occurs when large volumes of nutrients are added to water bodies. These nutri-ents act as fertilizer for phytoplankton, which are microscopic photosynthetic plants in the top layer of nearly all bodies of water. When phytoplank-ton eventually die, they sink and are decomposed by bacteria at the bot-tom of the body of water. As these bacteria work, they consume oxygen, ultimately causing the development and spread of “dead zones”—areas where the dissolved oxygen levels are too low to support life.

In regions where human waste is emptied into an enclosed body of water, sewage treatment has been highly effective in preventing eutroph-ication and maintaining a healthy ecosystem. Scientifi c evidence, how-ever, suggests that the current system

is not only economically favourable, but also more environmentally sound for our area.

WHY FIX WHAT ISN’T BROKEN?

Scientists from the University of Victoria, the Institute of Ocean Sciences, and those hired by the Capital Regional District (CRD) have been monitoring the outfalls at Macaulay and Clover Point since the 1970s. Their research indicates that the impacts of sewage outfl ow on the communities of organisms that live on the ocean fl oor have been rela-tively minor and limited to within 100 metres of where the sewage goes out. Also, no evidence of oxygen deple-tion in these systems has surfaced, suggesting that fears of a dead zone may be unfounded.

The net current carries virtually all dissolved sewage effl uent out into the Pacifi c Ocean, due to the incredible volume of fresh river water fl owing into the Georgia and Puget basins. The

resulting dilution of nutrients in the open ocean precludes eutrophication. Additionally, shoreline monitoring and ocean water surveys have clearly demonstrated that the ocean outfalls have no role in beach contamination. Instead, stormwater discharges have been identifi ed as the true culprits.

THE TROUBLE WITH TREATMENT

A treatment plant raises many seri-ous issues. Someone has to run the thing. While this would create a few jobs, treatment plants pose health hazards to workers, exposing them to many types of micro-organisms and chemicals. A higher prevalence of respiratory disease, fatigue, and headaches may be reported by sew-age plant employees, relative to control groups. Sewage plant employ-ees also suffer increased incidence of gastrointestinal tract symptoms, as well as greater risk of infection, espe-cially of hepatitis A .

Then, the waste would need to be

transported across town by pipeline, to a sludge disposal facility. The CRD has expressed interest in two sites: one on Viewfi eld Road in Esquimalt and the other near the Hartland landfi ll. Both communities, however, have voiced strong opposition to the construction of this facility in their municipalities. The fi nal method of sludge disposal has yet to be deter-mined. Dealing with the risks of soil- and water-contamination is a whole other can of worms.

Notwithstanding the environmental impacts of a treatment plant (and there are many!), the scientifi c evidence suggests that the implementation of this $783-million plan will not benefi t the marine ecosystem adjacent the outfall pipes. Taking these potential consequences into consideration, the benefi ts of this project simply do not outweigh the costs. In an era of constant cutbacks to environmen-tal projects across the country, this money should be directed elsewhere.

Cutting the crap in Victoria’s sewage debate

10 FEATURE • MARTLET December 5, 2013

On remembering

and

resisting:

WHERE I’M COMING FROM

I’m not sure if where I’m coming from makes me the best person to write this piece. As a white male of privilege, what do I know of violence? What can I share about hate? And about dis-crimination? I come to you, not as an authority, but as a man hoping to help shed some light on existing conversa-tions on violence against women. To shed light on the people who would rather make jokes about rape than speak up against them. And to shed light towards those who think that, since they aren’t the ones committing the violence, they can live as if igno-rance is bliss.

According to the Canadian Women’s Foundation, 83 per cent of domestic assaults are toward women. There are over 40 000 arrests due to domestic violence each year, which only makes up 22 per cent of the actual number of cases, since many are not reported. Within the shocking number of sexual assaults, it is believed that only 10 per cent of cases are actually reported, and that number in 2009 was at 460 000. If we all can resist hatred, and resist violence—there can be change. It is undoubtedly in our hands to stop this extremely high number of domestic violence cases.

THE ORIGINS OF THE DAY OF REMEMBRANCE

The National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women (RAVAW) started after the hor-rific acts committed on Dec. 6, 1989 at L’École Polytéchnique in Montreal. A gunman went into the school, sepa-rated the women from the men and opened fire, killing 14 women and screaming his hatred for feminists. It is enough usually to reference this event as “l’École Polytéchnique,” and even people like me, who weren’t alive yet when this happened, will understand. It is because of this tragedy that each year since the early ’90s events have taken place across the country, in remembrance. UVic holds events each year, and this year was no different.

BUTTONS FOR CHANGE

You may have seen the pins: red with black lettering, informing those who notice about what the wearer is resisting. Maybe you even made one

yourself. Button-making stations were set up in the Fraser Building, Cadboro Commons, as well as the Student Union Building, on Nov. 25. At the station, people were able to write what they were resisting (for example, hate, homophobia, colonialism, vio-lence, racism, bullying) on the button to show their support. “What the idea around the button was,” said Renay Maurice, a RAVAW organizer, UVic student, and a survivor of violence, “was that I was thinking about pop-pies. It’s just a visual that keeps hitting you.” The UVSS and ResLife both lent their button-making machines to the organizers of RAVAW to help get as many buttons out there as possible before the event. There is simplicity in the idea of the buttons, and it is safe to say that they don’t necessarily have to be worn just around this time of year. The organizers for the event stress that the buttons are important in getting the message across, and the hope is that the dialogue that comes from wearing the buttons will be kept alive throughout the year.

MY INTERVIEW WITH TERRY FORST

Terry Forst, one of the men on the RAVAW organizing committee, met with me to discuss these ideas further. “How do we stand up to violence in the day-to-day?” asked Forst, wear-ing a bright blue Vikes shirt. “If you came to our event and then the next day you’re in residence in the cafete-ria, and you hear someone make that rape joke, and you don’t say anything, that’s the part where I hope people would be acting.”

Forst leaned back in his chair and exhaled. It seems this is easier said than done, but Forst continued, “It’s in those everyday moments where we can start erasing that culture of vio-lence. I don’t know if we’ll ever get rid of violence, but I think we always need to be diligent to observe it, and perhaps stand up to it, and that’s what I hope would happen.”

Forst is one of the few male mem-bers of the committee, and he is the only man who has been at nearly every single meeting. The commit-tee began meeting in September and then started meeting every week throughout November. “I don’t know

if I’ll ever really figure out the answer, but why don’t guys talk about it more? What is that barrier? Is it not wanting to be vulnerable? Do we think it’s shameful? Is it effeminate? Are we worried about those things?”

We both scratched our heads. A brief moment of silence rang through-out his office in the Residence Services Building.

“I can’t remember the last time I heard someone speak up against someone making a rape joke,” I said. Forst nodded.

This idea of standing up against someone making an offensive joke is hard, but Forst said the need for doing so was highlighted even more when he heard the stories concern-ing orientation programs at St. Mary’s University in Halifax and Vancouver’s University of British Columbia this past year, in which new students were led in lyrics that seem to refer-ence rape. “When it came to the frosh chants, and even as a professional during orientation, I was really upset that this was what was happening, but it also kind of put things in perspec-tive.” Forst then went on to say that, with one side saying that these chants weren’t a big deal, and the other side saying everyone involved was terri-ble, he realized there wasn’t a middle ground for both sides to open up a dialogue.

“And that’s why I like where the event went this year, because we have a dialogue. I don’t know if people really understand sometimes. They haven’t been asking the questions and we haven’t been having these conver-sations about what does this all mean, you know, so they don’t know they’ve been doing anything wrong. If you just tell them they’re bad, they’re evil, or they’re a horrible person, of course they’re going to get defensive.”

And with that Forst had hit the issue on the head. These remembrance and action events are important for many reasons, but I think there is one key reason highlighted here. If the people who are making these jokes, and who are perpetuating this culture, don’t see or hear just how it affects the peo-ple hurt by it, then why would they have a reason to stop?

Greg Atkinson

Angela Bello

Larissa Korns

December 5, 2013 MARTLET • FEATURE 11

National Day of Remembrance

and Action on Violence

Against Women

REMEMBRANCE AROUND THE WORLD

On Dec. 6, universities across Canada recognize this day and hold events (usually on this day or the days slightly before it, depending on exam breaks) in honour of the women who lost their lives in Montreal in 1989. In addi-tion, all federal buildings place flags at half-mast, and people are often seen wearing white ribbons. Canada also recognizes this day as part of the 16 days of activism against gender violence.

The first day of the 16-day period falls on Nov. 25, which is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. This day commemorates the assassina-tion of the Mirabal sisters from the Dominican Republic. Three of the four sisters were tortured and killed in 1960 after speaking out against the dictatorship of Rafael Trujillo. Since then, the United Nations General Assembly has held this day in their honour and encourages governments and organizations across the world to hold events that raise discussion on ending violence against women.

The 16 days of activism against gender violence finishes on Dec. 10 with International Human Rights Day. This day commemorates the United Nations’ adoption of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights on Dec. 10 of 1948, and is a fitting way to sum up the over two-week period every year where people of the world are reminded that gender violence must end.

THE STUDENT BODY COMING TOGETHER IN SUPPORT

It was beautiful to see the whole cam-pus come together to commemorate this day of remembrance and action. Without the help and support from various campus groups the event couldn’t have been able to offer its variety of displays. Groups such as the Anti-Violence Project, which donated the clothesline display, the Society for Students with a Disability, which donated vegetarian, vegan, and glu-ten-free food options, the Applied Theatre group, which contributed skits to the “pathways of resistance” exhibit, the UVic Equity and Human

Rights office, which donated funds and was a strong voice in making the event happen, and the UVic Students’ Society (UVSS), which helped with funding, as mentioned before. Organizer Renay Maurice said, “There has been a hands-on engagement this year and a [UVSS] voice present every meeting. I think it’s very fitting that it’s the director of student affairs because this committee was created by stu-dents’ voices.”

MY INTERVIEW WITH RENAY MAURICE

To know Renay Maurice is to know her as a headstrong and passionate per-son. She’s been involved with UVic’s RAVAW events ever since the school threatened to cancel it in 2011, and is now one of the main organizers for the event. She is a student and a sin-gle mother of two daughters.

We met in BiblioCafé for our inter-view, and she offered to buy me a coffee, even though I came with my own thermos from home. We dis-cussed the details of the event, such as who was helping out and who was on the committee, and then she began to discuss the screening of Keepers of the Fire by Christine Welsh. I could almost see the pas-sion flicker in the pupils of her eyes as she laid both palms on the table. “One of the wonderful things that’s happened in the past decade, in B.C. in particular, through the tremendous work of Indigenous women and their allies in the women’s movement and in feminist spaces, is that they’ve been able to bring to the surface the horrific ways that indigenous women have been targeted by the impacts of colonialism, and misogyny, and rac-ism, and sexism, and a violent world, and because poverty and all of these things impact these women, they become easy targets.”

Maurice has taken a year and a half of Indigenous women’s studies courses, and is now majoring in Women’s Studies with a minor in Sociology. She makes sure to mention that she isn’t a feminist, but simply part of the women’s movement. “For every act of violence, there is an act of resistance,” Maurice continued, “whether it’s overt or whether it’s surviving residential school. Sometimes just surviving is an

act of resistance.” This is one of the main things Maurice took away from her classes in Indigenous women’s theoretical and literary studies, a class taught by the creator of Keepers of the Fire, Christine Welsh.

“We’re featuring that film because we’re telling those stories about all of the work Indigenous women have been doing to survive and resist and transform our political system.” If you check the posters for the event you’ll notice they say, “The organiz-ers wish to acknowledge that we will be gathering on the traditional lands of the Coast Salish and Straits Salish Peoples.” Maurice is nothing if not respectful.

THE FUTURE OFREMEMBRANCE

“I would like to see it be another stat day, frankly,” said Maurice when asked about the future of this event. “When you look at the numbers, they’re quite staggering in terms of the amount of women who lose their lives globally every year.” Globally, 1.6 million peo-ple are estimated to lose their lives each year to violence. Maurice contin-ues, “[They] are injured or assaulted in horrific ways under the rubric of violence against women, which is sub-jective, but it’s also systemic. There’s a lot of violence out there. Women are still horribly under-represented in political spheres. In Canada too, 22 per cent does not equality make, in our Parliament.” Maurice feels like, “there’s a lot of work left to be done,” but, “a national day where we stop and take time to think, about not just the violence that’s being perpetrated, but what kind of violence,” would be able to really make a difference.

So this is where I stand, as a man, as a son, as a citizen of this country. I realize I don’t have to be a survi-vor, or a victim, to have a voice. I can spread the word to those unaware of the tragedies that women across the globe face. There is an equality that we all can strive for. Wear a pin when-ever you can and let people know what you’re resisting. Through greater understanding and working towards a collective conscious we can find the peace that the survivors of violence seek.

Written by Adam Hayman

Photography by Brandon Everell

Natalia Buendi

Yifei Li

Culture This issue is on stands until Jan. 9. Find fresh culture content on Martlet.ca.

12 CULTURE • MARTLET December 5, 2013

Some conditions apply. See pacificcoastal.com for details

ANGEL MANGUERRA

Picture this for me, please: it’s that time of year again, when rain clouds cry and the winds whip the dreary tears onto mon visage. Now that’s more like it. It’s a typical rainy day on campus. The sky pours out rain, and we mere mortals have to manage to stay dry in its wake. Otherwise, we run the risk of having a shower on the way to class. Trust me, wringing your hair out as you walk in will not please the prof. Nor will your soaking wet books be of any use come midterm crunch-time.

To survive the rains, I compiled some suggestions, tips and tricks on how to enjoy the wet weather.

A GOOD RAINCOATIdeally, your raincoat or jacket should also be able to withstand the winds that blow on the Island. Pick one that you are absolutely going to love and never get sick of putting on. If you want variety, like I do, then get a bunch of affordable styles that you can alternate

every day. I would suggest scouting the nearby thrift store racks, since I’ve found that they always have some good finds there.

To change it up on gloomy, gray days: wear a colourful, cozy scarf with it; belt it around the waist; wear it with fashionable pants that you love; wear a stylish hat with it; pair it with statement pants (printed leggings, or rolled-up jeans will do nicely).

Get one that you really like, and one that really suits your personal style, whether that is a classic trench coat, a sporty anorak, a bright cape, or any other style on the racks.

RAIN BOOTSThe effectiveness of rain boots depends a lot on their durability, material, and build. If you like classic styles that you will wear for years, consider investing in a pair that will last forever, such as Hunter or Burberry boots. But if you want to opt for different styles to go with all sorts of outfits then pick some affordable, creative ones. Since they

will be lower quality, they may wear out with many uses (they’re guaranteed fre-quent wear on Vancouver Island). But if you don’t mind replacing them every year or two, Target and Walmart carry some decent-quality ones in trendy styles and prints to suit every palette, with prices that start at $20.

What to wear with rubber rain boots: skinny jeans or leggings are classic, especially with knee high pairs; for ankle length styles, try rolling up the ends of your pants to playfully sit above the edge of your boot; cargo pants go really well with them, but make sure to pair it with a more formal top to bal-ance the casual feel of the pants and wellies.

When getting boots, first try them for comfort. Think about how you might need to speed-walk in them to your next class across campus, run in them to catch the bus, or even just to splash in rain puddles.

UMBRELLASYou can buy umbrellas anywhere, and

there are many different designs and prints. If you want to brighten up your day, pick a colourful, playful one. Quality is an important factor for umbrellas. I cannot count how often umbrellas fail people (including me). I invested in a durable (and pricey), retractable Samsonite umbrella. I would suggest getting a good, reliable, retractable one too—especially if cheap umbrellas have let you down in the past. But, like rain boots, if you don’t mind replacing them and want many different options, feel free to stock a collection.

I suggest you store your retractable umbrella in your bag at all times. This is one of the reasons that a light, port-able umbrella is ideal. If your bag has an extra water-bottle holder, you can stuff the umbrella in there. Or if the handle has a string attached, then you can tie it to your bag like a key-chain. If it’s rainy and windy, don a pair of warm gloves while holding up your umbrella, so that your fingers don’t freeze permanently around the handle. Some umbrella handles come with cute

hanging accessories. If not, you can attach your favorite keychain to hang from your umbrella handle, adding a fun-factor to it. Some umbrellas come with waterproof “bags” or sleeves in which to store them. Use this! Keep the sleeve dry while you use your umbrella, and store the drenched umbrella in it afterward. It will be worth it to keep the rest of your stuff dry when you put the umbrella back in your bag. When you get home, open the umbrella to let it drip dry. This will prevent premature damage (rusting of parts), and make it easier to use the next day.

On a final note, despite the possible unsightly side effects, don’t be afraid of the rain! Embrace the change of the seasons. Remember, your coat is for warmth; use it while you sit by the beach fire. The boots are for puddles; wear them to splash in the mud. The umbrella is for protection; keep it stored when you want to let loose. Have fun with it all. Welcome to Victoria’s rainy season. Enjoy the showers! There’s no better place on Earth to do so.

Rain, rain, come my wayHow to have fun with the soggy weather

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December 5, 2013 MARTLET • CULTURE 13

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JENN TAKAOKA

I was having one of those days when my brain was not having it with any-thing school-related, so I had to take a few hours off to do something else. Like bake cookies. And for an extra challenge, I figured I’d go gluten-free.

I’ve had a hankering for sugar cook-ies, mostly after my roommate’s parents brought over Hanukkah decorations and dreidel cookie cutters. I usually keep my gluten-free baking flourless, because the steep price of alternative flours has always deterred me. I’ve blended cooked quinoa into a choco-late cake mix before and it added an interesting crunch, but made a pretty coarse batter. Rice flour comes up in a lot of baked goods, but even though it’s one of the most affordable, I find it dry and crumbly. Flour blends are

also common, but a hassle to make, because the ingredients are usually expensive or tough to find.

A friend of mine recommended coco-nut flour, which I’d never seen before. I lingered in the gluten-free aisle at Lifestyle Markets, and although I was iffy about spending six to 10 dollars on a 500 gram pack, my friend assured me that a little goes a long way. Some of the labels even suggested substituting coconut flour in any recipe using white flour, by halving the amount. When I opened the package, I got a burst of coconutty aroma, which ended up add-ing a subtle flavour to the cookies too.

The recipe I found online seemed simple, with its organic, whole-food ingredient list, but as with all cookies requiring cookie cutters, it was a lot more work than anticipated. The dough was really moist and kept ripping, so I

greased the parchment paper to stop it from sticking so much and carefully peeled the paper off the cookie to transfer it to the baking sheet. If you’re not rolling all the dough at once, keep it in the fridge or freezer until you get to it, to keep it firm and not as sticky. And to avoid them breaking easily, roll the dough a bit thicker than you would for a normal sugar cookie (this also makes it easier to move them onto a tray). This will make fewer cookies, but I cut the ingredient list in half and got about a dozen anyway.

The sky is the limit when it comes to cut-out cookies, so get creative with shapes! And if you feel the need to colour co-ordinate your sprinkles, as I did, be aware of how long it takes to sort the blue elephants from the pink elephants in the zoo sprinkle pack.

Fuel for school

Sugar cookies, hold the wheat

¼ cup coconut oil¼ cup room temperature butter ¾ cup raw honey¼ cup cane sugar (may be subbed with more honey)2 eggs1 tsp baking powder1 tsp vanilla extract½ tsp salt1 cup coconut flour

Preheat the oven to 375˚F.In a large bowl, beat coconut oil, butter, honey, eggs, vanilla, and cane sugar. In another bowl, stir together coconut flour, salt, and baking powder. Add

this to the wet ingredients, and blend until dough is stiff.Roll dough in a ball, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least one

hour (I left mine in overnight).Between two sheets of parchment paper, roll out dough to about 1/4 inch

thick. Cut with cookie cutters and place on baking sheet. If adding sprinkles, lightly

press them into the dough before baking. Then bake for eight minutes.Enjoy!

JENN TAKAOKA

Coconut-flour Cut-out Cookies Inspired by a recipe from Whole Lifestyle Nutrition(Suggests 36 cookies, but I would say 24–30, depending on the size of your cookie cutters)

14 CULTURE • MARTLET December 5, 2013

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MIA STEINBERG

I was deeply affected by the first Hunger Games movie. I’m a girl who can sit through art-house horror without losing much sleep, but I thought about The Hunger Games for days after I finished watching it. The hand-held cameras may have seemed cheap to some, but they leant a grounded, indie grittiness to the story and made it feel like more than just an action film. The story of Katniss Everdeen’s (Jennifer Lawrence) journey through a Battle Royale death match against 23 other teenagers sounds fairly standard on paper, but Lawrence’s per-formance and the stark direction gave the film a weight that made you really feel the horror of each death, flinch at each cannon boom, and realize that sur-vival was not the end of her story—not even close.

Having now seen Catching Fire, the adaptation of the middle book in Suzanne Collins’ bestselling trilogy, I find myself mourning the loss of the gritty cinematography of the first film, but otherwise highly impressed. I think Suzanne Collins’ trilogy is one of the most important pieces of young adult fiction right now, and if I ever have chil-dren I will give it to them to read. What Collins does better than other best-sellers like J.K. Rowling and Stephanie Meyer is simple: she treats her charac-ters like real human beings, instead of action heroes, and therefore this sequel avoids many of the pitfalls that other series struggle with.

In order to explain why, I need to first give a quick review of the Monomyth, also called the Hero’s Journey. This is

a basic pattern of narrative storytell-ing that was most famously described by Joseph Campbell. Many writing experts believe that it holds true for almost every traditional narrative story one can tell. There are 17 stages of the Monomyth, but the gist of it is this: the hero begins life in an ordinary world, and receives a call to adventure that will take him into the unknown. The quest pushes the hero through vari-ous trials, and introduces him to new allies who will help him and foes whom he must conquer—often a metaphor for overcoming something internal in his own psyche. The most severe challenge includes death—either physi-cally or metaphorically—and the hero returns back home with his prize, hav-ing become the master of two worlds: the old and the new. The final stage of Campbell’s Journey is called “Freedom to Live;” the hero, having mastered the unknown, finds freedom from the fear of death and thus lives freely, never regretting the past nor worrying about the future.

The Hero’s Journey is found in everything from Star Wars to Greek mythology, and in a multi-book (or film) trilogy, one of the biggest hurdles lies in how the sequel must pull the hero out of the last stage and drag them back to the first. Facing great danger and living to tell the tale is no mean feat, and we’ve come to expect that our heroes will just shrug it off. The ending to the first Harry Potter and Hunger Games stories seem very simi-lar: the young heroes face off against a seemingly insurmountable challenge, defying expectations and proving their

abilities to both others and themselves, and then they return home. But in the next book, Harry is pretty much ready to go back to Hogwarts and get into all sorts of trouble again. He faced down an evil wizard and nearly died when he was 11; by the time he hits the age of 16, he’s had climactic showdowns every single year, barely escaping with his life on a regular basis, but he almost always bounces back. He renews his journey each year.

In contrast, Catching Fire shows that Katniss Everdeen has done anything but bounce back since surviving the Games. She has returned to the ordinary world as a victor, having become the master of both her home ground and the other-worldly universe of the Capitol and the

Hunger Games; however, she struggles with post-traumatic stress disorder on a regular basis and has only gotten more fearful for the safety of her family. She isn’t a victor; she’s a survivor. While she’s thrust into a similar set of situations during the events of Catching Fire, her previous experiences have not embold-ened her to embrace the quest. By the end of the trilogy, Katniss has become the symbol for a revolution she never wanted, and is tasked with representing the common man in the uprising—a role she does not want to fill. She’s fright-ened, traumatized, and both physically and mentally scarred by the end of the trilogy. There is no real happy ending for her, because there can’t ever be one after what she’s been through. We can’t

rely on her as a stalwart hero, as we gen-uinely don’t know that she will reach the end of her journey in one piece.

It’s bleak, but it makes for excellent character drama and growth, and it also faces the realities of mental health and emotional trauma head-on. There’s certainly room for escapist fantasies with heroes like Harry Potter; they are better than us, and can take on more challenges than we ever could. But The Hunger Games resonates because the emotional stakes are real and the char-acter reactions are relatable. Catching Fire sets up the true finale of the series, but it’s an excellent example of how to do a sequel right, and how to keep your hero’s journey interesting along the way.

Popped culture

The real stakes in The Hunger Games

Things aren’t okay

MICHEL GHANEM

Whether we’re decorating a tree with ornaments, or sitting by the fireplace drinking hot cocoa, we may all rely on a carefully crafted playlist to keep us in the winter holiday spirit. Here are 10 suggestions for cosy winter songs to help make it through exams and wel-come you into a well-deserved winter break.

1. ‘BLUE VELVET’ – LANA DEL REYOriginally written in 1950, Lana Del Rey’s rendition was created for her H&M commercial. “Blue Velvet” always resonated as a winter holiday song, with Del Rey’s deep, slow vocals and the dreamy instrumental. Blue velvet clothing makes for an ideal holiday party outfit, anyways.

2. ‘MANHATTAN’ – CAT POWERThere’s something about this song that makes you want to sit by a window when it’s raining outside, snuggled up with a blanket and holding a cup of tea, while dreaming about the future. I’m not sure if it’s the echo-y piano sounds, or Cat Power’s dreamy voice, but this is a definite turn-of-season tune.

3. ‘I LOVE YOU, PORGY’ – BILLIE HOLIDAYLate 1940s music sets the holiday mood immediately. Time to pour your-self a holiday cocktail and pretend you’re sitting alone in a smoky bar while it snows.

4. ‘WINTER SONG’ – SARA BAREILLES ANDINGRID MICHAELSONRecently popularized in promos for American Horror Story: Coven, the mel-ancholic duet is literally a song made about the winter season.

5. ‘WHITE WINTER HYMNAL’ – FLEET FOXESRequired for listening to this: a hol-iday-flavoured latté and a comfy blanket. Even the mention of snow on the ground gives me the December-time feels.

6. ‘I KNOW PLACES’ – LYKKE LILykke Li is an artist I am forced to come back to every winter. One of her best songs, “I Know Places” captures Li’s vocal abilities with excellence. The slow, instrumental outro will make you want to bundle up in warm knits and take a walk in the snow this holiday season.

7. ‘I MISS YOU (BEYONCÉ COVER)’ – THE XXOriginally written by Frank Ocean, recorded by Beyoncé for her last album, and covered by the XX—you already know “I Miss You” is a culmina-tion of talent. Plus, the holiday season is likely to bring about melancholy feel-ings of missing someone.

8. ‘WINTER WONDERLAND’ – ARETHA FRANKLINAlthough “Winter Wonderland” was written in the 1930s, and covered by over 150 artists, Aretha Franklin’s ren-dition always resonates with me as an iconic festive oldie.

9. ‘YOU’RE MINE, YOU’ – CHET BAKERBaker delivers a warm, softly sung bal-lad. I’m practically already sitting by the fireplace in an XXL vintage sweater.

10. ‘HAVE YOURSELF AMERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS’ – SHE & HIMIf you haven’t decorated your room with ornaments and procured some cinnamon-scented candles, this song will be all the convincing you will need.

10 songs to keep you cosy this holiday season

PROVIDED (MURRAY CLOSE)

REBECCA COMEAU

Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

December 5, 2013 MARTLET • CULTURE 15

KATLYN GOEUJON-MACKNESS

Of all of the expenses that come along with the holiday season, buying pre-sents for loved ones can be one of the biggest. The good news is that you can greatly reduce this cost by mak-ing your gifts yourself, which offers an added element of sentimentality that you just can’t buy in a store.

1. JUST KNIT IT

If you’ve never knit anything before, maybe now is the time to start. With prices for skeins of yarn running as little as a few dollars each, you could whip up something nifty for the cost of an eggnog latté from Starbucks. Scarves and hats are simple to put together, even for the novice knitter, but your options need not be so lim-ited. With scores of patterns available all over the Internet, you can make things like pillows, bags and purses, leg warmers, rosebud headbands, or perhaps a coffee sleeve to hold that eggnog latté.

2. MAKE A MIX CD

Have great taste in music that ought to be shared? Creating a mix CD for your

friends is a great way to commemo-rate your relationship. Pick songs that are important to both of you or that are iconic of the year, and they’ll have something to remind them of you and the good times you’ve had for years to come.

3. FRAMED PHOTOS OR ALBUMS

Since everything is digital these days, printed photos aren’t as common as they were back in the days when fi lm cameras ruled. Find meaningful photos that your loved ones will appreciate, and frame them, or assemble them in an album. Photos are especially great to give to those who live far away and whom you don’t get to see very often.

4. GIFT IN A JAR

When it comes to going homemade at this time of year, gifts-in-a-jar are an inexpensive and easy solution. You can make cooking and baking mixes for things like special cookies, or pan-cakes, peppermint or mocha cocoa, or spice mixes and BBQ rubs. Of course, you could make non-food-related jar-gifts, like sewing kits, mini-spa kits, or body scrubs (just mix sugar, olive oil,

and a few drops of the scented essen-tial oil of your choice).

5. INFUSED ALCOHOL

You know all that delicious schnapps at the liquor store that you would love to have but lies way outside of your price range? You can make it at home for the price of regular vodka and whatever with which you wish to fl avour it. Simply pour the vodka into a large jar or container, and add what-ever you like, such as vanilla beans, cranberries, apples, coffee, or what-ever else you can think of. Put the container into a cool, dark place, such as the back of your closet or under the bed, and leave it there for four to six weeks. When it’s ready, pour the vodka into bottles and decorate them how-ever you like.

Making your own tokens of thought-fulness takes more time than buying them in a store, but they can be more meaningful and fun to put together that way. You can even use inexpen-sive parcel paper decorated with paint or ink stamps to wrap the gifts, and take your craftiness to the next level.

Homemade gift ideas for the budget-minded

TARYN BROWNELL

Warning: spoilers included in this article.

The Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special aired simultaneously in over 90 countries on Nov. 23. This airdate was exactly 50 years after the fi rst episode aired in 1963. The anniversary was cel-ebrated by many fans, both young and old. Some of those fans had the oppor-tunity to view the special in 3D on the big screen of one of 1 500 cinemas across the globe.

At the Nov. 25 showing at Victoria’s Odeon theatre, Whovian Christine Defehr waited in anticipation for the show to start. She had dressed up for the event in a bow tie, red fez, and tweed jacket—all signature pieces worn by the 11th Doctor. Although it had been two days since the original airdate for the episode (titled “The Day of the Doctor”), Defehr admitted that the theatre showing would be her fi rst time seeing it.

“Me and my boyfriend missed spoil-ers all weekend,” said Defehr. “We avoided everything.”

Considering the massive follow-ing for Doctor Who, it is an amazing feat to avoid any prior knowledge of an episode as important as the 50th anniversary. Social media exploded with information and quotes about the episode after the fi rst showing. Defehr, however, wanted to be surprised on her fi rst viewing.

“I think it’s going to be great. I’m excited to see Billie Piper, because she’s my favourite companion,” said Defehr. She did, however, voice con-cerns about what head writer Steven Moffat would do with the episode. “Everybody’s going to die. You just know that. It’s going to be something where Moffat screws us over, but it’s going to be awesome.”

Billie Piper played Rose Tyler, the fi rst companion to appear during the 2005 revival of the show, did indeed make an appearance in “The Day of the Doctor,” but not as people expected to see her. Her character in the epi-sode turned out to be an entity known as “the moment,” that could only be seen by one of the three versions of the Doctor who appeared in the episode.

“I was expecting Rose Tyler as Rose Tyler, not as ‘the moment,’” said Nik Lamont, another Whovian in attend-ance at the Nov. 25 showing. “But that turned out a bit better than I expected in the end.” Lamont came fully pre-pared for the event, in a TARDIS dress of her own making.

The whole celebration felt like a whirl-wind to many people. After months of waiting, it seems Whovians were pleas-antly surprised by the episode. While many questions were left unanswered (such as why the Time Lords in Arcadia weren’t regenerating, and what hap-pens with the Zygon/human peace treaty), the episode exceeded expecta-tions. There were references catering to the older generation of Whovians and for the new generation to catch. The most important part appeared to be that, fi nally, fans got a glimpse into the missing chunk of the Doctor’s his-tory: the Time War.

In thinking back about what she had just seen, Lamont voiced a feeling that showed on many people’s faces: “I kind of have Doctor Who shock right now.”

Doctor Who 50th anniversary a pleasant surprise for fansLongest running sci-fi series celebrates with the biggest simulcast of a TV drama in history

Nik Lamont wearing her TARDIS dress at the Nov. 25 Doctor Who screening. TARYN BROWNELL

Would NHL without fights be the Ultimate Hockey Championships? letters@martlet.caSports | Lifestyle

16 Sports | Lifestyle • MARTLET December 5, 2013

SAMANTHA GRANT

Canada is well known for its love of the stick-and-ice sport, hockey. With the number of fights that have occurred in the 2013-14 season so far, hockey in the NHL is becoming more like UFC. Children admire and imitate NHL players, and when kids play, they see fighting as acceptable, which can lead to youth injuries. The effects of concussion on a young, developing brain are very serious. Some may say that fighting is too engrained in the sport for it to change, but if interna-tional hockey has banned fighting, and it’s the best skill-based hockey to watch, the NHL should too.

The NHL has projected (based on present stats) that in the 2013/2014 season, there will be 447 games with fights, amounting to 36 per cent of the total games played. Of the cur-rent injuries in the NHL that involve concussions, five of the eight players suffering from concussion or post-concussion syndrome (PCS) will not return this season, or are out indefi-nitely. This is an alarming number, considering the seriousness and lon-gevity of the injury. The acceptance of fighting needs to change and is an issue not to be taken lightly.

The NHL is trying to input rules to reduce the amount of fighting. One of these rules reads, “If a player penal-ized as an instigator of an altercation is wearing a face shield (including a goalkeeper), he shall be assessed an additional unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.” If this player takes off their helmet, the unsportsmanlike conduct penalty does not apply. By this logic, fights without protective headgear reduce penalty time. That makes no sense. It is contrary to the objective of reducing injury due to fights.

The penalty for fighting in the NHL is a five-minute minor. This makes it a mere slap on the wrist for an act that, in society, is deemed as assault. Fights in the Olympics result in a match pen-alty and the player being ejected from the game. In international play, a fight can sometimes lead to suspension as well. This provides more incentive to play a game of skill-filled hockey and not a boxing match.

To provide an example of recent detestable NHL hockey, the Philadelphia Flyers put on a stomach-turning show against the Washington Capitals on Nov. 1. In a display of revolting, unsportsmanlike conduct, a Flyers versus Capitals game (a 7-0 win for the Capitals) started with a

fight between Flyers right wing Steve Downie and Capitals forward Aaron Volpatti. The game later escalated into a wild line brawl in the third period: an unnecessary goalie fight between Emery and Holtby, a fight between Simmonds and Wilson, and a grapple between Lecavalier and Oleksy.

The fight involving Downie and Volpatti left Downie with a concus-sion. He was taken away from the game on a stretcher, and was still in hospital the next day, released Nov. 3. Lecavalier, also hurt, took it “day-to-day” with facial injuries.

The brawl started off with Flyers right wing Wayne Simmonds, in a childish rampage, knocking over and hitting two Capitals, which led to Capitals right winger Tom Wilson engaging Simmonds in a fight. Violence answered more violence, devolving the game into nothing more than a street fight. While this was underway, the Flyers’ goalie, Ray Emery, skated 200 feet to start an unwanted and unwarranted display of aggression against Braden Holtby, the Capitals’ goalie. Holtby was very obviously disinterested in starting a fight with Emery, but Emery said, “Protect yourself,” and burst into an onslaught of enraged violence.

This spectacle resulted in a total of 118 penalty minutes in the third period, 29 of which were a result of Emery alone. And how does the NHL respond? By awarding Emery the third star of that game. It only sup-ports the violence that he displayed, the utterly juvenile response to losing a 7-0 game. Losing is a part of the game; fighting should not be.

This is not UFC or boxing, where spectators pay to watch people beat each other. It is a sport that many Canadians are proud of and pas-sionate about—a sport of skill and excitement. Through the offensive sportsmanship of many teams, and the rules laid out by the NHL, the skill and excitement of this sport cannot be properly portrayed. Many claim that Olympic hockey, in which fight-ing players are ejected, is the most exciting hockey to watch. Other con-tact sports, such as rugby, soccer, and basketball, do not involve fighting and still enjoy great fan support. So why should hockey be any different? Get a hold on it, NHL, and there will be fewer injuries, fewer lifelong trau-mas to navigate, and a better game to watch and call our own.

ALEX KURIAL

As far as school sports trips go, few are likely to be longer or more successful than the one taken by members of the UVic sailing team this past month. The Vikes undertook a lengthy road trip to Santa Barbara, Calif., to take part in the Pacific Coast Championships, where they made a name for UVic by placing 10th out of a strong 21-team pool.

The journey to attend the regatta started long before the team left Victoria on Nov. 14, however. A limited number of entries are available to schools from out of state, which meant UVic had to begin the application process well in advance of the competition.

“At the beginning of the year, all the schools in the Pacific Northwest have to apply for the limited amount of spots you can get from out of state. Us and three other schools managed to get the invita-tion to the event from our district,” says head coach Geoff Abel.

“That was back in September, actually. So this had been in the planning process for a long time, and we knew that this event was going to be our premier event, so we wanted to make sure that we got the spot.”

With their spot at the table secure, all that remained, aside from months of training, was the long trip down to Santa Barbara. The team set off in a two-car convoy, and after 25 hours and over 2000 kilometres, arrived at their destination on Nov. 15.

While an extended road trip can often be risky for relationships, in this case it was a positive for the team. “It was great

to get the team together and go for a road trip; it was a really good bonding experience,” said Abel. “It was an epic road trip.”

The team did not have long to rest, with the first slate of races starting on Nov. 16. The format of the competi-tion split the 10-person Vikes team into an expert varsity fleet of six, including Abel and captain Sarah Berry, along with a junior varsity fleet of four. The com-bined success of the two squads would determine UVic’s final standing in the tournament.

This premier sailing event had no trou-ble attracting the top talent on the west coast, including powerhouses Stanford, CSU Long Beach, Hawaii, and the host, UC Santa Barbara. Abel points out the advantage these major American schools have in terms of their athletic programs.

“The big difference for us was all these other teams are varsity teams, so they have a lot more funding than we do. They have enough to fund a full-time coach and even support staff. Not only do they have amazing sailors, but they have the funding and resources.”

Refusing to be intimidated though, the Vikes shone on the big stage, posting a series of determined performances over the two-day event to finish 10th overall at the weekend’s close. Berry and team-mate Reid Cannon led the way for UVic, placing fourth in their division to secure major points for the Vikes cumulative score.

Abel was more than happy with the result. “When we went down our goal was top 10.” He believes UVic could have done even better if, ironically, the

weather had been a little nastier than the mild conditions that were on display over the weekend.

“As a team, we were hoping for dif-ferent conditions. We were hoping for much bigger wind and waves, because that’s what we train in a lot down here in Cadboro Bay. Where we find our legs against other teams is when we get into wind and waves.”

A top-10 finish, along with recogni-tion on the international stage, would be enough for any team’s checklist. UVic was in for even more, however, when they found out their score was high enough to qualify them for the Rose Bowl Interconference Regatta, to take place at USC in Los Angeles in January.

“Awesome. Really exciting,” Abel said of the team’s reaction. “We were really, really happy when we found out we qualified.”

This of course means the Vikes will be back on the road in a month, as they look to continue their triumphant repre-sentation of UVic abroad. To help offset the costs of trips up and down the west coast, the team has sponsored a series of events to assist with the travel costs, including a Krispy Kreme fundraiser and Naughty Nautical Night at Touch Lounge on View St. this past Friday.

“It’s going straight to financing our travel to these really big and important events. We’re really trying to represent the school,” Abel says, on the extended goals of the team.

The Rose Bowl will kick off a busy 2014 for the Vikes sailing squad, whose inter-national tour also includes the Rainbow Cup in Hawaii.

Top-10 finish in Santa Barbara for the Vikes Sailing teamAfter epic road trip, Vikes look to 2014

NHL or UFC? This fan’s gloves are off in the battle against fighting in hockey

BRANDON EVERELL

December 5, 2013 MARTLET • Sports | Lifestyle 17

LISTEN: 101.9FM in Victoria | cfuv.streamon.fm | Telus Optik 7033ONLINE: Twitter @CFUV | facebook.com/CFUV101.9 | cfuv.uvic.ca

*Canadian artist +Local artist

1. DOG DAY * Fade Out (Fundog)

2. COSY FATHER + Loser Birds (Hot Hand Cold Hand)

3. TOUGH AGE * Tough Age (Mint)

4. PHEDRE * Golden Age (Daps)

5. SHAD * Flying Colours (Black Box)

6. YAMANTAKA//SONIC TITAN * UZU (Paper Bag)

7. ARCADE FIRE * Reflektor (Merge/Universal Canada)

8. THE POLYRHYTHMICS Libra Stripes (Kept)

9. M.I.A. Matangi (Interscope)

10. BLACK WIZARD * Young Wisdom (War On Music)

CFUV TOP TEN — Week Of December 3rd, 2013

CFUV is an award-winning campus/community radio station based at the University of Victoria. For more information about CFUV, including volunteer info, our program schedule, complete charts and much more, visit us at cfuv.uvic.ca

HEALTHY SNACK

Sometimes my mouth craves a deli-cious  crunch. Are chips and fries the only solution to fulfi l this guilty pleasure? No, not at all. Instead of paying extra dollars to companies for packaging and brand labeling, why not make your own granola in half the time it will take you to run down to the grocery store? I would like to introduce wheat-free crunchy granola, to fi t every taste.

You don’t have to be an experi-enced chef to make this delicious

snack. I generally make one large batch every Sunday, and keep it in an airtight container. This way it stays fresh for up to three weeks. I portion small amounts for school, to satisfy my  crunch  cravings throughout the day. 

BONUSES1. You purchase the ingredients

and make it yourself, so you don’t need to worry about con-tamination with soy, dairy, or wheat.

2. It doesn’t take a lot of time to make it, and it saves you money in the long run, compared to buying overpriced granola snacks from grocery shelves and vending machines. 

3. You are decreasing your personal carbon footprint, by eliminating extra packaging.

TAILOR YOUR RECIPE TO MEET YOUR DIET

According to Health Canada, as many as one in every 100–200 people in

North America is affected by celiac disease. It is now recognized in the world as the most common chronic disease. Going gluten-free is also the “new” thing, as some students follow a gluten-free diet by choice. However, people who have the dis-ease can get infl ammation in the lining of the small intestine, causing damage and reduced absorption of essential nutrients. This recipe is not only gluten free, it also fi ts other dietary needs and choices: vegan, vegetarian, pescetarian, and lactose

intolerance. People say living with

celiac is diffi cult, and that is true,

but it can actually be quite easy; if

you prepare your own food, you run

lower risks. As a caution for people

who prefer or have to live a gluten-

free diet, just because something is

labelled gluten free, does not neces-

sarily mean it is healthy for you.

Prepare yourself for the delightful

recipe below.

Crunchy treat for your health

5 cups wheat-free rolled oats,

such as Bob’s Red Mill brand

½ cup chopped hazelnuts

½ cup chopped whole

almonds

½ cup raw sunflower seeds

⅓ cup raw pumpkin seeds

⅓ cup dried cranberries

⅓ cup sliced dried apricots

¼ cup sultana raisins

2 tbsp flaxseeds

2 tbsp sesame seeds

⅓ cup Stevia, liquid honey, or

agave/maple syrup

¼ cup canola, coconut, or

olive oil 

½ tsp cinnamon

½ tsp nutmeg (optional) 

In a large bowl, combine oats, hazel-nuts, almonds, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, cranberries, apricots, raisins, flaxseeds, and sesame seeds.

In a saucepan, heat together honey, oil, cinnamon, and nutmeg over medium heat until blended, about three minutes. Pour over oat mixture; toss to coat.

Spread evenly on two greased or parchment paper–lined, rimmed baking sheets. Bake in an oven at 160°C, stirring every 10 minutes and rotating pans halfway through, until golden, about 25 minutes. Let

cool. (Make-ahead and store in an air-

tight container for up to three weeks.)

WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING IN YOUR GRANOLA?

Are you already drooling over the

golden and crisp brown oat flakes?

They glimmer with healthy monoun-

saturated and polyunsaturated nut

and seed fats that are essential for the

body. The number one reason why I

choose to make my food and treats

is mainly because I recognize and

choose every ingredient. The next

time you go to the grocery store, put

on your investigator hat and explore

the ingredients. My rule of thumb is

if there are more than two items in

the ingredient list I don’t recognize, I

put it back on the shelf. Don’t forget

to check the nutrition labels. Did you

know one gigantic gluten-free choco-

late cookie sold on campus contains

over 600 calories?

Food is a huge issue in our society

today, and for many, it is no longer

feasible or affordable to eat out. The

best food is homemade, and the

Gluten Free Crunchy Granola recipe

is a win-win: it's economical, healthy,

goldenly rich, and delightful. This

recipe is flexible, so if an ingredient

doesn’t appeal to you, feel free to

mix it up with different fruit, nuts, and

spices to satisfy your personal taste

buds!

LEAT AHRONY

Gluten Free Crunchy GranolaPortion size: 9 cups

MARTLET.CA

Find us online over the break

at

PROVIDED

18 Sports | Lifestyle • MARTLET December 5, 2013

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SHANNON K. AURINGER

As the month of December starts to poke its toes quietly around the cor-ner, the reality of Christmas is quickly closing in. With this comes the tan-talizing tickle of childhood memories of eggnog, gingerbread cookies, and presents. Most of us remember vividly how hard it was to concentrate in school as Dec. 24 drew nearer. Christmas con-certs, trips to visit Santa at the mall, and TV classics like Frosty the Snowman and How the Grinch Stole Christmas gave us an entire month to celebrate a one-day holiday. Christmas through “kid” eyes was a time of excitement and candy-cane wishes. But then we grew up.

Now that we’re adults, the idea of Christmas brings with it a certain amount of stress. Most of us who observe it still want to enjoy all the fes-tivities and traditions that we grew up with, as well as creating new ones of our own. We delight in the feeling of giving gifts to family and friends, going to Butchart Gardens for the “Twelve days of Christmas” display, and even attending work parties. The only prob-lem is that we’re funding it all on our own dime. January comes quickly, and the hype is gone as fast as it happened.

Credit card statements clog up the mailbox and consumer regret makes its uncomfortable appearance, like last night’s decision to eat that second bowl of chili.

Can we still enjoy the Christmas sea-son without getting ourselves stuck in that seemingly unavoidable pit of anxi-ety and remorse? Is it even possible to have a great holiday while staying within the bounds of the fi nancial reality in which we live? The answer to both of those questions is a big, hell yeah!

Let’s tackle the idea of gift giving. Who told us that presents had to be the latest and greatest thing out there? The companies that want us to buy their products, that’s who. Seriously, why do we let them make us feel bad for not being able to buy our sibling the fi fth generation iPad? How about bringing the concept of gift-giving back to “it’s the thought that counts.”

Try saving a bundle of dough by making your gifts this year. Handmade scarves and toques are always appreci-ated and can be easy to make. Looms are available at craft stores for under $20, and a ball of nice yarn is about $6. A beginner may make a full-sized scarf in about two hours while watching TV. Another great gift idea is a batch

of cookies in a jar. Simply layer the dry ingredients of a cookie recipe in a mason jar, and attach the instructions with a ribbon. All the receiving person has to do is add the wet ingredients and bake. Pick a lesser-known recipe to make the gift more personal.

Now that we have our gifts fi gured out, we are ready to wrap. Rather than going out and spending $30 on expen-sive wrapping paper, whose destiny is only to be torn off and thrown into the recycling, just go to your own Blue Box and pull out yesterday’s newspaper. Wrapping your gifts in newspaper is not only free and environmentally sound, but also interesting to look at and sure to bring a smile your friends’ faces.

Partaking in the local Christmas fes-tivities is the quickest way to feel a big

drain in your wallet and leave you feel-ing bored and frustrated. It seems like everything in town costs a bundle, but you may view this as a fun challenge. How many things can you fi nd to do that will feed your Christmas spirit for either cheap or free?

A good start is at the Empress Hotel’s “Festival of Trees.” Local businesses and organizations each put up uniquely decorated trees throughout the entire hotel, to be judged by the public. Apart from a small donation for casting your vote, this activity is free and can take as long as you’d like.

If you wander over to the Laurel Point Inn, you can catch the “National Gingerbread Showcase.” This amaz-ing display of art and imagination runs through to Jan. 5, 2014, from 9 a.m.–9

p.m. Both amateur and professional cookie crafters make the gingerbread creations, and these displays will leave you amazed at the edible art.

Every mid-November until just after New Year’s, the Hotel Grand Pacifi c hosts the annual “Bear Wear” event in support of the Children’s Health Foundation. Beautiful displays of teddy bears adorned in interesting costumes line the hotel’s lobby for anyone to view. Donations are accepted and appreciated, but not required.

It’s true that Christmastime can bring stress, but it doesn’t have to. Focusing on the tradition of togetherness and simplicity can give you a fulfi lling and amazing holiday without the lengthy hangover of overdone consumerism.

Kickin’ it old school

Ways to cut consumerism this Christmas

KLARA WOLDENGA

Humour If we keep putting bad one-liners here, maybe you’ll send us your good ones? edit@martlet.ca

December 5, 2013 MARTLET • HUMOUR 19

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Cover PhotoHugo Wong

VOLUME 66 ISSUE 17

1. Zooey Deschanel falls in love with a man-child who wears yellow leggings and eats candy for breakfast.

2. An eight-year-old boy spends Christmas Eve as a vigilante, while befriending a creepy old man.

3. Tim Allen accidentally kills Santa Clause. His punishment? Massive weight gain and a beard any hipster would be proud of.

4. Jim Carrey refuses to wear pants. The citizens of Whoville slowly grow accustomed to seeing his green, furry bottom.

5. A cookie-cutter Christmas comedy that must include a scene of Kranky Jamie Lee Curtis in a bikini.

6. The sound of Tom Hanks’ voice for two hours set against the backdrop of a train in a snowstorm. Two hours!

7. Viewers learn the very important lesson that buying on credit isn’t a smart idea, after Chevy Chase berates his family on Christmas and doesn’t get that swimming pool.

8. A bunch of attractive Londoners are forced to hear “Christmas Is All Around” for six weeks.

9. A sequel and third installment of #3 above.

10. A woman saves a ton of money by buying all her Christmas gifts from Amazon.ca**Actually, this one may just have the beginnings of a script.

KAITLYN ROSENBURG

10 Christmas movies that should never, ever be produced

A-list

REGAN SHRUMM

HUMOUR — Thanks to the success of UVic President Jamie Cassels’ inaugu-ral run on Sept. 6, and his United Way walk on Nov. 20, the new president has now begun to plan several differ-ent activities. These events include the Santa Saunter, the Reading Break Limp, and the Groundhog’s Day Scamper.

Cassels hopes to promote healthy living on campus, while also dem-onstrating to the public how many methods of walking there are. “There’s waddling, strutting, strolling  .  .  .  the possibilities for these events are really endless,” explains the excitable president. “I even plan to incorpo-rate a Monty Python’s Ministry of Silly Walks somehow.” Cassels is, in fact, a big health nut himself, who can be seen constantly moving around as he is signing papers, eating his lunch, or even while he sleeps. “I once fell asleep in my home in Victoria, only to have woken up in Vancouver. I must have sleep-walked across water!” states the president.

“At fi rst I thought he had to pace in order to concentrate,” affi rms Cassels’ head secretary, Charles Felix Steppinhower. “But he has now bro-ken free from his offi ce and is lapping

around the Ring while he does work,” states Steppinhower. “On a windy day, papers fl y everywhere. The momen-tum of his legs keeps everything in a tiny hurricane around him. The robust breeze seems to make a great invis-ible clipboard to sign documents on.”

A secretary of the President’s Offi ce, Alex Goldblum, states, “Frankly, his legs are always moving so fast that I swear he just has a blur of colour where his feet should be. When he fi nally does sit down at his desk, I real-ize how shapely his calves are.”

Not all students are excited for Cassels’ new organized walking events. First-year English major Tucker Denarde feels like the walks are not supporting the lazy students on cam-pus. “I wake up at noon, walk from res to class and back again. I don’t need to walk any further than that unless drinking is involved. I feel like Cassels is really discriminating against us lazy students, which, when you think about it, inactive people probably make up 95 per cent of the student population.”

In order to encourage these near-comatose students to join in the activities, the university is offering free hot chocolate, cake, and other desserts at the end of the run. As third-year Psychology major Alissa

Keene points out, “There is nothing like fi nishing a six-kilometre run, then eating a piece of cake! It really makes you realize that all that effort of exer-cise was used to gorge yourself in the end.”

The next walking event, the Santa Saunter, will take place in December. Students, faculty, and staff are encour-aged to dress up like St. Nick and leisurely saunter around Ring Road. UVic will release a number of reindeer on the run to add to the festivities. “Students are encouraged to travel for as long as possible. In fact, there is no charity we are donating to this time,” declares the president. “I sim-ply wanted to stroll during the holiday break, and the Santa Saunter inspires students to spend Dec. 20 through Jan. 3 walking with me. I’m just hop-ing the whole reindeer thing won’t backfi re. If we can’t catch them, then perhaps we will have another problem like the bunnies. But then we could have a walk devoted to the reindeer. I’m thinking either Reindeer Ramble or the Deer Steer.”

*Editor’s Note: Since the writ-ing of this article, the Deer Steer has been scheduled to take place on Wednesday, Jan. 8. Students are encouraged to wear reindeer cos-tumes and walk on four legs.

Run, Jamie, runMARY ROBERTSON

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