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There is always a big question as who's lifestyle is easier: stay-at-home moms or working
moms? It is for sure that both types of mothers work very hard, but what is better for a
woman, to stay at home with kids, or to work is very hard to determine. o let's dig a little
deeper and find out all the pluses and minuses for staying at home or working while being a
mom.
!nyone who has "hildren, espe"ially infants and toddlers, will know and agree that this is
not an easy task at all. #eeping up with "hildren is very tiresome and is equal to working a
full time $ob. There is a "onstant attention that kids require, no matter whether they need to
read a book, wat"h T%, eat, play or go for a walk. In addition, women have do the work
around the house "leaning, "ooking and doing laundry.
ome e&perts in early "hildhood development believe that parental "are "annot be
substituted by anything, in"luding day"are, babysitter or nanny "are, or even a relative "arefor a "hild. There were two studies published in ((), one "ondu"ted by the *ational
Institute of +hild ealth and uman evelopment and the other by the Institute of +hild
evelopment of the niversity of /innesota, that found that "hildren who spent all day long
in day"are "enter were likely to be e&posed to more stress and more aggression than kids
"ared for at home.
tay-at-home moms have the opportunity to dire"tly supervise the "hild's "are, making sure
it is in a familiar, "omfortable, rela&ed, and nurturing environment. They have the
opportunity to be in tou"h with their "hild on a regular basis, and are able to witness the
"hild's emotional and physi"al "hanges. They are given a better "han"e to be the first to see
anything new that happens in a "hild's life. ome mothers "onsider staying at home with
kids as 0the most rewarding "areer0 that one "an ever imagine to have.
1or some families, it is, in fa"t, less e&pensive for one parent to stay home rather than to
pay for a day"are or to hire a babysitter. They also benefit, in their words, by avoiding the
stress from unsatisfa"tory $ob. taying home gives women more time to spend with "hildren
and a spouse, and at the same time to maintain the home. 1or many families it is a better
way to keep the family life running smoothly.
2ut the life at home is not always that perfe"t for many women, and the ma$or reason for
that is loneliness. 1or those used to work and being surrounded by other "o-workers,
"olleagues and friends at work, the "hange of pa"e "an lead to stress, and sometimes to a
deep depression. 1or those who were happy with their work and tried to build a "areer, it
might even "ause the feeling that they are losing their identity. The self-esteem suffers if
they do not feel the appre"iation of their boss or "olleagues. /any women also prefer
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"rowded busy offi"es to diaper "hanging and laundry, whi"h they "onsider as boring and
upsetting.
!s to working moms, unfortunately, they may not have the opportunity to spend as mu"h
time with their "hildren and spouses as they would like to. It is very stressful for many
women who do not have any other "hoi"e and have to work in order to keep both ends
meet. 3n the other hand, they have their own in"ome and bring home a regular pay "he"k
whi"h means more independen"e, freedom and a little e&tra money to spend. They "an
make their own de"isions about money and pur"hases, and they know how the money is
being spent.
It is better for many working moms to use their potential, knowledge and abilities at work
rather than to stay at home. 1or them, intelle"tual stimulation, problem solving, and "oping
with "hallenges in"rease feelings of self-esteem and self-"onfiden"e. If mom is happy and
"hallenged in her own life, she has a better "han"e to provide a happy and "hallenging life
for her "hildren. 4hen women are fulfilled in themselves, they have mu"h more to give to
their kids. /odern women were raised to fulfill themselves intelle"tually, finan"ially, and
so"ially, and very few might feel "omplete and satisfied if they give all that up to stay home
with small "hildren.
To be a working mother is surely a hard task. !fter spending the whole day at work they
have to "ome home and "lean, "ook, do laundry, and everything else. nless they have a
housekeeper or some other kind of helping hand, they have to do all the work by
themselves. 4orking moms deserve a big respe"t for their strength and energy to be able toperform their $obs everyday.
1a"tors su"h as finan"ial stability, work availability, spousal support, passion for work, kid's
age and health play a big role in the de"ision to be a working or stay-at-home mother. 2eing
a mom, in general, "an be tough enough sometimes, let alone having daily "hores and
responsibilities. The "on"lusion is, no matter what they have de"ided in their lives, all good
mothers deserve a big applause and respe"t $ust as mu"h as anyone else.
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Are Stay-At-Home Moms Better?
+an we really have it all5 a "areer, the good life and parenthood?+an parents afford to raise a "hild on one in"ome?ow "an new parents de"ide whether to work or stay home with the kids.
#ristie Tamsevi"ius, author of I 6ove /y 6ife: ! /om7s 8uide to 4orking from ome saysthat the answer has never been "learer. in"e eptember 99, ((9, people are going ba"kto basi"s. 1ueled by frustration with their "urrent work environments, people long to spendmore time at home with their families. This desire has led millions of parents to saygoodbye; to "orporate !meri"a and hello; to a work at home "areer.
3ne of the toughest de"isions you fa"e is whether you will stay at home with the "hildren orgo ba"k to work. 1inan"ially, it "an be diffi"ult to make the swit"h to living on one in"ome.!dditionally, women often wonder if they are sa"rifi"ing their "areer by "hoosing to stay athome.
*ew parents are overwhelmed with the onslaught of "hild relating e&penses in"luding babygear, "lothing, diapers, and medi"al bills. In fa"t, a""ording to the .. epartment of!gri"ulture, raising a "hild from birth to age "osts
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mothers "an develop a lasting bond with their "hildren. This bond "reates a stronger senseof se"urity and well being within the "hild.
#ids en$oy other benefits too. /oms "an provide a more varied diet and better nutrition.!nd "hildren re"eive more mental stimulation when one on one sharing time with mom.
ow "an moms learn to live on less and stay at home with the kids?hopping smart saves money. Thrifty minded moms "ut "oupons, look for sales, and buy inbulk to "ut "osts. /any families are learning that a simple life beats the pressures of tryingto keep up. 2y setting a lower standard of living, you "an learn to en$oy the simple things.ou tea"h your "hildren that wealth lies not in material possessions, but in the $oy of living.
4orking from home "an help parents to have the best of both worlds:pre"ious family time and e&tra in"ome.
tatisti"s show that today7s working people are eager to say goodbye;to "orporate life and say hello; to the $oys of working from home.4orking from home offers a variety of benefits in"luding being your own boss, fle&ibility, theultimate offi"e spa"e, no "ommute, in"reased "ontrol, time with family, and the sheer $oy of
designing your own business and life.
@ntrepreneurship offers thrills, stimulation, "hallenge, and a new powerful "hoi"e-drivenreality. It provides an option for single parents and families struggling with family and"areer "on"erns. It7s allowing dads to quit the A-to-B grind and stay at home with the kids.It7s providing a new "han"e for people who have been laid off or ki"ked out of the "orporatesystem. It7s providing a new in"ome-earning opportunity for people who "an7t live on theirretirement funds alone.!t-home "areers offer an in"ome for people with disabilities who have trouble finding $obs inthe traditional workpla"e.
o realiCe that as a parent, now you don7t have to de"ide to work or stay at home, you "an
have both: a "areer and time with your kids.
Kristie Tamsevicius, is the author of "I Love My Life: A Mom's Guide to Working fromome"! Thousands of asiring entrereneurs have used her ste#$y#ste home $usiness
system to earn money %orking from home& Get a free ecourse ome usiness (uccess(ecrets at %%%&We$mom)&com
Cuepacs chiefs sexist remarkBy IZATUN SHARI
PETALIN !A"A#Wanita MCA and Wanita Gerakan are appalled by the gender-biased statement
by Cuepacs secretary-general Ahmad Shah Mohd Zin, who complained about the upward trend of
female employees in the ciil serice, as well as his alleged complete misreading of goernment
policy on the issue!
http://www.webmomz.com/http://www.webmomz.com/ -
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Wanita MCA chairman "atin #aduka Chew Mei $un said Ahmad Shah%s condescending and
chauinistic statement demonstrated sheer disregard and disrespect for women and their
contribution to nation-building!
She said it also reflected an utter lack of understanding of the actual state of female representation
in decision-making positions and the implications of gender dynamics!
&'t is shocking for a leader of an organisation which represents ciil serants to e(press such a
blatant gender-biased position,) she said in a statement *uesday!
Chew was responding to reports about remarks by !hmad hahe(pressing concern oer the
increasing female profile in the ciil serice, saying it would hae long-term implications on the
progress and growth of the nation!
+e was also uoted as saying that women ciil serants tended to be infle(ible and rigid, and thus
were unable to proide effectie and friendly serice, besides their need to go on long leae aftergiing birth!
Chew said Ahmad Shah%s inaccurate statement showed sheer disrespect for the Goernment%s
intention of increasing women%s participation in decision-making in Goernment institutions and
public administration bodies!
&*he Goernment%s efforts in achieing at least ./ of women in decision-making 0positions1 would
be futile if such gender-biased mindsets continue to permeate society,) she said!
Chew said that Ahmad Shah did not fully comprehend the national policy!
*he Cuepacs secretary-general had said that almost three uarters of new posts in the
administratie and diplomatic serice were being filled by women, claiming that this was &contrary to
the present goernment policy to resere only ./ of decision-making posts for women!)
*he actual goernment policy is to hae women in at least./ of decision-making posts!
Chew said Ahmad Shah%s inaccurate statement was tantamount to &sheer disrespect towards the
Goernment !!! and its international pledge to the 2334 5ei6ing #latform for Action to ensure women%s
eual access to and full participation in decision-making in goernment bodies and public
administration entities!)
She noted that according to Gender Gap 'nde( 7..3, Malaysia%s oerall rank had dropped to 2.2
last year from 38 in 7..9!
:choing Chew%s sentiment, Wanita Gerakan deputy chief ;g Siew
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&We should not worry too much about the current dominance of female employees in the ciil
serice! *his is the nature of progress of society! +oweer, we must also take measures to
encourage males to become ciil serants,) ;g said!
#ublished= Monday $ebruary 77, 7.2. M>* =.3=.. #M
?pdated= *uesday $ebruary 7, 7.2. M>* 9=43=.9 #M
Cuepacs c$%cer%e& a'$ut (fema)e
&$mi%a%ce( *Up&ate& +ith reacti$%s,
-UALA LU.PUR#Cuepacs is concerned about the &increasing dominance) of female employees in
the ciil serice, saying it would hae &long-term implications on the progress and growth of the
country!)
'ts secretary-general Ahmad Shah Mohd Zin said on Monday that the trend now was that more
women officers were being appointed to important decision-making posts!
$or e(ample, almost three uarters of the new posts in the administratie and diplomatic serice
0#*"1 were being filled by women, he said, adding that this was contrary to the present goernment
policy to &resere only ./ of decision-making posts for women!)
0*he actual goernment policy is to hae women in at least./ of decision-making posts! -- ED1
*he teaching profession was also dominated by women, he added!
According to +uman @esources Minister "atuk "r S! Subramaniam, the ratio of male and female
teachers was .=.!
Ahmad Shah said that while Cuepacs appreciated the Goernment%s gender euality policy, it
neertheless wanted it to be implemented with great care so as not to &upset the balance between
male and female employees!)
+e said both males and females had their own strengths and weaknesses and they should balance
each other for the good of the serice!
+oweer, the ;ational ?nion of the *eaching #rofession 0;?*#1 secretary-general im #hengsaid that although there were more women teachers, the decision-making process in the education
serice was dominated by men!
She said women teachers were performing ery well and proiding uality education to children!
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She suggested that the ministry recruit more male teachers in certain areas like sports, physical
education, and co-curricular actiities, saying that the ideal would be a 4.-4. ratio for male and
female teachers!
'n PUTRA!A"A, #uteri ?mno e(pressed regret at the statement, saying that Cuepacs% concern was
unfounded and &showed the shallow thinking of its leaders!)
#uteri ?mno chief "atuk @osnah Abdul @ashid Shirlin said the moement belieed that the
appointment of more women to the #*" was supported by their ability and would not hae a long-
term impact on the deelopment of the country as claimed!
She told 5ernama that Cuepacs should instead look into factors which led to fewer males in
decision-making posts, especially from the aspect that women outnumbered men in institutions of
higher learning!
She also said that the ./ decision-making posts resered for women only inoled high-rankingposts in the administration, which had yet to be reached, and did not apply to other posts, including
new #*" posts!
She said Ahmad Shah should rethink his statement which did not take into consideration the
contributions of women to nation-building simply because he could not accept the fact that there
were now more capable women than men!
uteri ?mno beliees that the inolement of women in whateer field is based on merit and should
be balanced with that of men,) she added! B 5ernama
(D!ug
(E
n air= Should women stay at home after allD
2yhelenmaguire9BF +omments
+ategories: 1irst thing
Tom is our presenter today, and has written this:
up, it7s a man who is writing this. 2ut before you say, hah typi"al, read this.
! study by +ambridge niversity has found that in"reasing numbers of men and women
believe working /ums are having a negative impa"t on family life. The suggestion is "areer
http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/author/helenmaguire/http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/author/helenmaguire/http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/author/helenmaguire/http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#commentshttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#commentshttp://en.wordpress.com/tag/first-thing/http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7543576.stmhttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/author/helenmaguire/http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#commentshttp://en.wordpress.com/tag/first-thing/http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7543576.stm -
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and family "an7t "o-e&ist. #ids suffer. 4hat do opinions like that mean for women7s rights 5
was gender equality $ust a flash in the pan?
Glenty of strong opinions on the 22+7s ave our aysite.
3r why turn the question on its head: Isn7t it about time men started staying at home? !nd
doing their fair share around the house 5 in Italy men spend on average an hour a day on
household "hores, a woman in full-time employment spends D hours a day doing
housework.
6ook at "andinavia. 4omen there seem to manage both "areer and "hildren. on7t they?
!""ording to this arti"le, it7s not the generous welfare handouts, but gender equality that
makes this possible. 4omen "an "ombine $obs and kids, be"ause the men are pit"hing in.
Tom
9. 4e "annot ignore innate differen"es between the genders. 4omen are born the with mindset
of mother while fathers are not. owever depending on the so"ioe"onomi" "ir"umstan"es in whi"h
the woman finds herself, she may "hoose to stay at home or not.
Gersonally, I always like to see women be independent and I would never date, mu"h less marry a
woman who is not. 4omen are human beings $ust like men and are therefore entitled to the same
priviliges and rights but also to the same H@G3*+I2I6ITI@.
9. Arnaud Ntirenganya Emmanuel
!ugust D, ((E at 9=:==
ello Tom,
I want to believe that this pra"ti"ed about A( in !fri"a where women even those who are employed
"lose from work with their head in the air $ust heading at home to res"ue the situation while men head
at drinking pla"es.
Heply
. Melanie Chassen
!ugust D, ((E at 9=:==
http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?forumID=5203&edition=2&ttl=20080806135040http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/29/magazine/29Birth-t.html?_r=1&partner=rssuserland&pagewanted=all&oref=sloginhttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56712http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56712#respondhttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56713http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?forumID=5203&edition=2&ttl=20080806135040http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/29/magazine/29Birth-t.html?_r=1&partner=rssuserland&pagewanted=all&oref=sloginhttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56712http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56712#respondhttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56713 -
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This will definitely be a tou"hy sub$e"t. 4hether a woman Jor a man for that matterK stays at home
with their "hildren instead of pursuing a "areer is simply a parenting "hoi"e. I think we are all probably
a little biased based on our own upbringings. /y /om stayed at home L not be"ause she wasn7t
interested in a "areer Jshe was part of a su""essful advertising "ompanyK but be"ause there were
several fa"tors in our household so it $ust made more sense. !nd my /om was happy to do it. The
question is, did I benefit from my /om being at home? ure I did. 2ut I don7t think this argument
should be about "hoosing one side or the other. There is a middle ground. I envision having "hildren of
my own one day. !nd I would like to a"hieve a balan"e between raising my kids and my work. /aybe
it means working part time or from home until they7re old enough to go to s"hool. 3r maybe the man
I marry will be the one to work out of the house while I "ontinue to work full time. In this situation,
you "an have it both ways.
Heply
). Michael Chung in Hong Kong
!ugust D, ((E at 9=:==
4ell, I don7t think there is a bad effe"t on a "hild if the mum works. Take my "ase, without my mum
around me =MF, I feel myself more independent and more responsible than my s"hoolmatesNN
Heply
=. Angela in Washington D.C.
!ugust D, ((E at 9=:B
I think women should have a "hoi"e whether to work or stay at home. ome women have to work and
others do not. 4omen that stay at home are usually sa"rifi"ing finan"ially to stay at home. 4hile
women that work are sa"rifi"ing time with their kids to work. There are women that work and are able
to still raise their "hildren and some men are staying at home, while their wife works. I personally
would rather stay at home while my kids are young. I realiCe that I would suffer professionally but
that is a risk I would gladly take.
!dditionally, women must realiCe that there may be differen"es in pay if you work and have kids. !
man may make more money and should if he "an performs a better $ob than the women and is
available more than the women is able to be avaialable.
http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56713#respondhttp://happymichael.vox.com/http://happymichael.vox.com/http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56714http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56714#respondhttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56719http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56713#respondhttp://happymichael.vox.com/http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56714http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56714#respondhttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56719 -
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Heply
B. immy !i"son in Mu#ress"oro$ ennessee
!ugust D, ((E at 9=:BB
I think it is time for men to stop thinking that this is a so"iety in whi"h women have to be submissive
to the men. If a woman wants to work, then she should be allowed to do so.
Heply
D. ste%e
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:((
!s teve /artin said in Garenthood, women have "hoi"es, men have responsibilities.; *ot suggesting
that staying home and raising kids isn7t a responsibility, but in all honestly, how many men have the
option of not working? I know if I don7t work, I7m homeless. *obody is going to provide for me.
Heply
F. Arnaud Ntirenganya Emmanuel
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:(9
ello Tom,
4omen who e&er"ise liberty out of their home are seen as harlots, while to see men who stay at home
and help their wives JfamiliesK here in !fri"a it7s very hard e&"ept those with western ideology Jlived
thereK.
Heply
E. &arth guragain
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:()
here in *epal men e&pe"t women to stay at home.women are treated as slaves in rural area of
*epal.if the so"iety is to progress rapidly women should look beyond their four walls of house.
Heply
A. Melanie Chassen
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:(D
http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56719#respondhttp://www.sundaymars.net/http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56720http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56720#respondhttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56721http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56721#respondhttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56722http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56722#respondhttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56723http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56723#respondhttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56724http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56719#respondhttp://www.sundaymars.net/http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56720http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56720#respondhttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56721http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56721#respondhttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56722http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56722#respondhttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56723http://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/?replytocom=56723#respondhttp://worldhaveyoursay.wordpress.com/2008/08/06/should-women-stay-at-home-after-all/#comment-56724 -
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!ssuming that parenting is a partnership and that the parents are sharing finan"es with ea"h other
Jwhi"h they would probably doK the man has $ust as mu"h of an option as the women of not working.
There7s nothing wrong with the woman being the primary breadwinner in a family and the man staying
home to raise the "hildren. It7s no different than if the woman stayed at home L it7s simply $ust not
what so"iety is used to.
Heply
9(. nelsoni
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:9E
trike a balan"e, motherhood and "areer will go hand in hand without "onfli"t of interest.
Heply
99. 'o"ert
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:9A
I don7t believewomen should stay at home but I do believe that a parent should be at home until the
"hild is s"hool aged at least, and perhaps even 9(. 4hether that7s the ad or the /other or both
alternating depends on the family situation.
Heply
9. Brett
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:)
I7m not a fan of both parents working and pawning the "hild off on day"are providers, friends or
relatives. !t the same token, I wouldn7t e&pe"t my wife Jif I were to get marriedK to be the one to stay
home. 4e "ould weigh the pros and "ons, who makes more money to provide for the family, and if she
"an provide better than I, I would be happy to stay at home with my "hild M "hildren.
Heply
9). Melanie Chassen
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:D
O 2rett,
4ell put. /y sentiments e&a"tly.
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Heply
9=. Nic( in )SA
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:A
4hat a hornet7s nest of a title that is. I think the real question is: oes one parent need to stay home
with the "hildren, in order to raise them properly? To this, I would answer, yes. !s /elanie noted,
marriage is a partnership. oes it really need to be mum who stays home? 4hy not dad? If mum has
a better "areer, then it should be dad.
Heply
9B. 'o"ert E%ans
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:)
Hob I agree with you that the "hildren should have someone looking after them. !lthough I think if the
mother is in a an important $ob then it should be her husband who looks after the "hildren. !lthough
nowerdays both parents have to work be"ause they both have important $obs. This means that the
grandparents of the "hildren if in good physi"al and mental health. This situation happened when I
was younger be"ause both of my parents had $obs.
Heply
9D. gary
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:)
*o doubt about it, "hildren fare better in the "are of someone who has vested interest in their future
happiness. 4hile it doesn7t need to be a loving mom or dad, good results o""ur if it is, and better if
this responsibility is equally shared. 2est results happen if the so"iety understands its intersts are
served by meeting the needs and fa"ilitating the a""omplishments of every "itiCen, in"luding those
who wear nappies.
g
Heply
9F. Asad*Ba"yl
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:)D
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I thought all of you de"ided not to have any more kids be"ause the sky is getting polluted and is in
grave danger of falling?
Heply
9E. troo&
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:=(
/y wife is the main bread winner. I work and have a tiny pension. 4e have an 99 year old son. oes
very well in s"hool. Is a loving and good boy, happy as a lark.
The important thing is we always en$oyed him. e knows he is loved and valued above all else. e is
very affe"tionate.
4e also live in a great area by the sea. There are no bad peer influen"es upon our son, su"h as gangs,
and or $ust aggressive people.
4orse is welfare state, where mothers get pregnant out of wedlo"k, and have men stop by for their
share of welfare money, and the single mother has multiple "hildren by different fathers. /other is
stay at home, but there is no solid "hara"ter instilling going on, usually in slum areas or pro$e"t
housing set up for the poor.
#ids really do need two parents, male and female to raise with good intent, love and observe their
folks being, honest, fair, helpful and generally good.
troop on 3regon "oast
Heply
9A. +ulie ,
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:=
This is a de"ision that is made by two people in a "ommitted marriage, if either partner de"ides to stay
and take "are of the "hild or "hildren, then that is their de"ision, along with if parents de"ide to work
our of the home. In either "ase both parents are still responsible from welfare of the "hild or "hildren
regardless of the de"ision.
Heply
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(. Angela in Washington D.C.
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:=B
I have met several men that would not marry a women if she didn7t work, even if they had "hildren.
They thought that a woman that stayed home was selfish. It used to be normal for a woman to stay at
home while the man worked. I wonder why people think that philosophy should or "an no longer
apply.
Heply
9. Dight in Cle%eland
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:=B
The trouble is that this question is pro&imal, but not related to the problem at hand. in"e 44II we
have went from a""epting women in the work pla"e, to e&pe"ting them. Today in the you have to
have in"omes to get by. This "reates a situation where "hildren are being raised by various
unreliable sour"es. That in turn leads to unreliable adults. 1or the best results to the benefit of the
"ommunity, a "hild needs one parent at home. The only matter of whi"h gender is whi"h one is best
suited for it. owever, to do that would mean a drasti" e"onomi"al stru"ture "hange where one in"ome
would be enough.
To be honest, the father not being home is only e&isted as a "ommon family stru"ture for less then
9( years.
Heply
. Melanie Chassen
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:=A
O !sad
o we really want to open that "an of worms again? haha5
Heply
). A"delilah Bou(ili
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:B(
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It7s an ideal that women should stay at home to take "are of their "hildren, but this "an7t be possible
without a pri"e as they are going to be denied the opportunities they "an get through work. Today it is
be"oming in"reasing rare for a woman in a developed "ountry to be finan"ially dependent on her
husband. In developing "ountries, many male workers and "ivil servants who have a low in"ome prefer
to marry a working woman to "over finan"ial needs.
The other "hanges "on"erning women is that a lot of them are now single mothers. It will be
impossible for many of them to stay at home, as they need a $ob to take "are of their "hildren.
It7s up to women to "hoose whi"h is best for them, to be full-time mothers or part-time workers to
"ome to terms with the finan"ial needs to raise a family.
Heply
=. Nic( in )SA
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:B9
O Garth
Gut frankly, that is quite appalling. Gerhaps the situation will "hange now that *epal is a republi".
Heply
B. Dra(e Weideman!ugust D, ((E at 9B:B9
I think an important point is, that like everything in life, the more time, energy, effort and attention
invested in something Jin this "ase, "hildrenK, the better the end result. 1or a so"iety to be stong and
prosper long term, its "hildren should be very "arefully nourished P "ared for5treasured, as they are
the future.
I believe that ea"h "hild deserves a lot of time invested and for that to happen, someone should be at
home with the "hild5whether it is the mother or the father should be up to the individual family
situation JI don7t believe in Qone siCe fits all7 solutionsK.
I believe that many "hildren brought up in homes with working parents are very su""essful, but I also
think that the odds for their su""ess greatly in"rease with a "aring, attentive parent present.
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If, due to money or life "ir"umstan"es, a parent will not be able to stay at home with a "hild, then a
63T of thought should go into whether that family should have a "hild.
Heply
D. +ulie ,
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:B)
O!ngela,
4omen have been holding down paying $obs outside of the home for a very long time. I have
do"umentation going three generations ba"k of this on my mother7s side of the family. In fa"t, my
mother7s mother was the breadwinner in the family.
Heply
F. che"uret/00/
!ugust D, ((E at 9B:BF
*owadays, there is little attention given to "hildren by parents be"ause the parents are busy Qworking7.
3n one hand, a wife "an stay home and take "are of the home and "hildren. 3n the other, the "ost of
living is so high that the man being the sole bread-winner is a daunting task.
o, for me, this an issue that should be handled at the domesti" level by the spouses. They "an sort it
out through "onsensus.
/y wife has a full time $ob like me. I appre"iate her "ontribution, parti"ularly when things are tough.
Heply
E. Angela in Washington D.C.
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:(
O!sad
That was hilarious, but true
Heply
A. Melanie Chassen
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:(
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O $"heburet((
I would $ust like to point out that your "omment that nowadays, there is little attention given to
"hildren by parents be"ause the parents are busy working; is Jin my opinionK a misunderstood
generaliCation. It I possible to be a working parent and still be able to be attentive to your "hildren.
It7s unfortunate that the generaliCation given to working parents is that their "hildren automati"ally
suffer. That is not always the "ase. There is a middle ground here JI mentioned in an earlier post the
possibility of a parent working from homeMpart time until the "hild is old enough to be in s"hool during
the dayK.
Heply
)(. +ohn in Salem
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:(
The heart of the question is about "hoi"es and "onsequen"es. Things like gender equality and equal
rights are great "on"epts but they are *3T free.
If you "hoose to have "hildren then T@ are the top priority in your life, and if you have made that
"hoi"e without thinking it through or using only the logi" of, it7s my right;, or, everyone else manages
to do it;, then it7s your "hildren who will pay the pri"e.
es, men need to a""ept more responsibility for maintaining the home, and yes, it7s near impossible to
raise a family on one in"ome, but those are not simply realities that have to be a""epted L they are
fa"tors that have to be "onsidered when making the "hoi"e to have a family.
!nd if you "an7t imagine what your answer might be in 9( years when someone asks you, 4hat were
you thinking?;, then you7re not ready to make that "hoi"e.
Heply
)9. Angela in Washington D.C.
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:(D
O>ulie G
I realiCe that some women did work. ! ma$ority of women did not work in the early 9A((7s. The
women in my family worked also but they worked be"ause they had to work. !lthough I think my
grandmother $ust wanted her own money be"ause my grandfather was "heap. /ost of my relatives
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think I am stupid for wanting to stay at home when I have kids, if I am able to. I am truthful to myself
and to the people I date. /ost of the people I have dated would never want to stay at home but they
would perfer their wife to stay at home when they had kids.
Heply
). 1iay Srao
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:(F
Isn7t that why there is maternity leave?
The more generous the maternity leave and the better the "hild "are provision is the more "ivilsed a
"ountry is ,look at the "andanavian "ountries.
es men and women should be able to have it all ,have a fulfilling $ob and en$oy time with their
families.
Heply
)). amily2
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:9=
Otroop,
4owN too many stereotypi"al "omments to address.
I would and have stayed home nourturing my "hildren.
I saw it as my responsibility.
!nd, I gladly sa"rifi"ed for it.
+hildren need to be raised by family and not "hild "are workers.
It is important that if the woman works, Jas so many have pointed out for e"onomi" reasonsK that she
make time to bond with her "hildren.
es, this is also true for the father.
2ut, I felt that it was paternally optional, but maternally ne"essary.
>ust be"ause I have the right to do something does not mean that it is good for me andMor my family.
4hy would we be setting ourselves ba"k a "entury Jor soK if women stayed at home?
taying at home, "aring for "hildren, does not equal work that should be less valued.In fa"t, the idea
that women would be turning the "lo"k ba"k by staying home is a bit offensive and I feel quite
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ba"kward.
it suggests that "hild rearing is unpleasant and undesired by most women and it puts more value on
out of home work.;
The well being of the "hildren should "ome before any "areer de"ision and should be dis"ussed way
before "hildren are "on"eived.
Heply
)=. Melanie Chassen
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:9D
O >ohn in alem
%ery well put. If people make the "hoi"e to have "hildren, they should a""ept the responsibility of
raising them. nfortunately, people don7t all have the same viewpoints about how "hildren should be
raised. 2ut that is a whole other argument5.
Heply
)B. Nic( in )SA
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:9F
as the "ost of living really "hanged that mu"h, sin"e the times when a man "ould be the sole bread
winner? 4hy has it "hanged? I agree, it is nearly impossible for the average E year old man to earn
an adequate in"ome to "over the "osts of his wife and "hildren. I had enough trouble "overing the
"osts of my wife and myself. The bloated housing market "ertainly doesn7t help the situation either.
!re we $ust living beyond our means and e&pe"ting too mu"h, or is simple survival a"tually more
diffi"ult now?
O !sad
id anyone "laim the sky was falling?
Heply
)D. Angela in Washington D.C.
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:9A
O>ulie G
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I $ust wanted to say that I agree with your earlier post. The de"ision to stay at home or not resides
with the "ouple but they are both responsible for the welfare of the "hild.
/y un"les and father were the bread winners. They took some responsibility with the "hildren but it
was ultimately the woman7s responsibility.
Heply
)F. +ulie ,
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:(
O!ngla,
I will sppeak for myself, I "ome from a working andMor middle "lass ba"kground, women from those
ba"kgrounds have traditionally worked outside of the home. I believe that what is taking pla"e with
women working outside of the home is a "lass issue.
If you want to be a stay at home parent, and it is agreed to between you and your spouse, then that
is your de"ision. owever, I have had the same e&perien"e as you haveR the men I meet want a
woman who holds down a paying $ob outside of the home. /any have stated it is a waste of a
woman7s mind not to.
Heply
)E. 'o"ert
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:)
%i$ay
/aternity leave is less than a year. Gaternity leave is weeks. 4hat do the family do for the remaining
= 9M years before s"hool starts is the question? 4ould you suggest that "ompanies keep women on
paid leave for possible a de"ade to have a family Jsay three or four kidsK ? I "ould imagine last night
guest having a few "hoi"e words about that.
Heply
)A. amily2
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:=
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O%i$ay,
*o, people "an7t always have it all.;
In every situation there are good and bad "onsequen"es.
a"rifi"e is part of parenthood and why not?
o we $ust want things so easy that we "an always do what we want all of the time and think that
things are fine?
4hen we have "hildren, someone will have to take a signifi"ant amount of time out of their days to
raise them S far past maternity leave.
The parents must de"ide if they want to raise their own "hildren or have someone else do it for them.
Then, they will need to take the "onsequen"es of their a"tions.
If I "hoose to stay at home with my "hildren, then I "an7t "omplain about my de"ision.
imilarly, if I "hoose to give my time and energy to my "areer instead of my "hildren, then, I "an7t
"omplain when my "hildren are more independent than I believe ne"essary or when they bond to
other individuals.
Heply
=(. Anthony
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:D
hould the woman stay home? 3f "ourse, how else are pies going to be made and dishes aren7t going
to "lean themselves. I mean, whats ne&t, they7ll start reading, then get opinionsN?N?N?
The truth is, the .. system is set up so that if you want to live "omfortably, a family will need a
se"ond form of in"ome. I envy the past when you "ould support your family off of a minimum wage
in"ome, but it7s all been "hanged.
-!nthony, 6!, +!
Heply
=9. sushil
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:D
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that is the narrow "on"ept
but
widely pra"ti"al
sushil bhatta
nepal
Heply
=. ste%e
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:F
O !ngela
6ot of men don7t like dealing with golddiggers. It7s no fun to be a walking !T/ ma"hine. 4here I live,
there plenty of women driving around in 2/4s, that have no kids, that don7t work at all. These men
are funding those lifestyles and then will have a 8@ alimony payment when they ultimately get
divor"ed. 2y providing for a woman, you open yourself to finan"ial hell in divor"e.
Heply
=). Angela in Washington D.C.
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:A
Owight
ou stated the father not being home is only e&isted as a "ommon family stru"ture for less then 9(
years.;
4hat e&a"tly do you mean by that? /en generally worked and women generally stayed at home with
the kids going ba"k hundreds of years.
Heply
==. Brett
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:)
* Asad
+id anyone caim the sky %as faing-
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+hi"ken 6ittle? /aybe he has that mi&ed up with 4? shrugs
6et him take things to the e&treme, its amusing
Heply
=B. sushil
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:)B
that is the narrow "on"ept
but
widely pra"ti"al < used
sushil bhatta
nepal
Heply
=D. Asad*Ba"yl
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:)A
*o one is adressing my very reasonable post way up top. I guess that7s be"ause we7re pretty mu"h on
the same page when it "omes to upholding women7s freedoms, but also lament frequent e"onomi" and
so"ial obsta"tles preventing them from spending more time with the kids.
Heply
=F. ste%e
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:)A
O !ngela
4hat e&a"tly do you mean by that? /en generally worked and women generally stayed at home with
the kids going ba"k hundreds of years.;
undreds of years ago, pretty mu"h the ma$ority of $obs were $ust produ"ing enough food so you
didn7t starve. They didn7t have offi"e $obs really ba"k then, so you didn7t have a "ommute or go very
far away. 2oys would normally help their dads out in the farmyards. 8irls would help too, as well as
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learn domesti" duties. Hemember, it wasn7t really possible to travel that far from home ba"k in those
days be"ause the fastest method was by horse.
Heply
=E. amily2
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:=(
!gain,
omehow women staying at home is seen as ba"kward or not fulfilling her full potential.
4hy is that?
o I need to have a "areer to be validated as a woman?
o I need to a"t $ust as "areer-oriented men do, to be taken seriously?
I guarantee you that raising "hildren tea"hes you lots about people and a"tivity management.
!nd, a good mother is always using her brain to tea"h the "hildren and get everything done that is her
work.
4hy is raising "hildren looked down upon?
/y sister is a fulltime nurse and her husband stays at home with the "hildren.
They have done this for at least Fyears and she is quite su""essful. he pulls in the bu"ks.
Haising "hildren and housework bores her.
he is not very maternal.
o, it works for them.
o, how many of you see this position for a man worthy?
4ould you, as a man, find it immas"ulating?
Heply
=A. ste%e
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:==
O $amily
I think the point is you "an7t have both. ou "an7t both be a +@3 and be a mother if you want mentally
balan"ed and happy "hildren. ou have to pi"k one or the other. #ind of like how I "an7t pi"k to not
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work or I will wind up on the streets. 6ife isn7t all fun and games and you "an7t have the dream life,
be"ause it7s only a dream.
Heply
B(. 3u"na
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:=A
i gang N 5 /en in general are not as good "hild "are providers as women are, espe"ially if the
"hildren were in the infan"y and the early "hildhood period5To me the most adorable and lovely noise
in this world is the noise of an infant "rying, while Jand I am talking from a personal e&perien"e
here K, many men "annot stand su"h a noise for a long period of time5 4ith my love5 ours forever,
6ubna5
Heply
B9. amily2
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:=A
Oteve,
2ut, that is pre"isely what I am saying to %i$ay.
et, it does seem that in some posts, here, that mothering is not seen as a real $ob,; whi"h requires
mu"h mental "apa"ity to do it.
4e are sa"rifi"ing one "areer for another.
omehow parenting JmotheringK has been portrayed as an easy; and mindless; profession whi"h is
devalued.
If my husband was the bread winner and I stayed at home, I would want both of us to see it as an
equitable partnership.
Heply
B. 1iay Srao
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:B(
3n !ugust Dth 9A=B in iroshima when the @nola 8ay dropped 6ittle 2oy,did it make a differen"e
whether women were at work or at home with their kids?
OHobert O$amilyB
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6ast nights female guest was a bit of a wit"h.
There are "ountries whi"h provide pre-natal, post natal ,nurseryM#8 "are for their "itiCens .It all
depends how you want to spend your ta& dollars where does you so"iety put its emphasis.!meri"ans
pay federal ,state and lo"al ta&es and do not get mu"h for their money and their priorities are
squewed.
O
Heply
B). Melanie Chassen
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:B(
O teve
4hen you say that you "an7t have both Jbe a +@3 and a parentK are you referring to single parent
families? I think it is very possible to have an e&tremely su""essful "areer and be a great parent, but
you need the support from your spouseMpartner to fill in the gaps for ea"h other. In single parent
families a"hieving both these things would be mu"h more diffi"ult.
Heply
B=. 4560a
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:B
hello everyone
Uuite a "ontroversal topi".
i think human beings are built a""ording their requrements.Therefore there are some works whi"h
women are not "apable to doJheavy worksK be"ause they are not built with the substan"e provided to
that parti"ular work.but yes there should be equality between both the se&es espe"ially when the work
"an be done by both.the problem with equal pay between men and women is an e&isting problem in
the mordern world.
thankyou
Heply
BB. ste%e
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!ugust D, ((E at 9D:B=
O /elanie
4ell, if you were wealthy, you "ould $ust hire a nanny, and both parents "ould work. 2ut then you7ll
have distant "hildren, it7s not in their best interest, and given that the vast vast ma$ority of men work
and are e&pe"ted to work and not be stay at home fathers, a woman "an7t both be a +@3 and raise
kids at the same time. she would need someone else to do it like a nanny, and that7s not really good
for kids, unless you want your kids to be strangers and never feel very "lose to you. o again, you
either "an be a parent or a +@3, but not both. Gassing your kids off to a nanny isn7t parenting;. It7s
delegating the $ob to someone else.
Heply
BD. +ens
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:BB
is this a seriouse question?
of "ourse women should stay at home prefereably "hained to the stove and out of the rea"h of the
remote "ontrol, so that they "annot wat"hMlisten any T%Mradio or read newspapers giving them ideas
of developing their own thoughts and a"tions.
is this a seriouse question?
Heply
BF. +ens
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:BF
%i$ay,
look how little ameri"ans pay in ta& "ompared to other "ountries with better so"ail networks, like
norway, sweden and even switCerland.
as usual you get what you pay for, e&"ept for the # where pay for what you have voted for, a bun"h
of buero"rats that line their and their mates po"kets.
Heply
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BE. Angela in Washington D.C.
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:BF
Oteve
Geople have to be very "areful with the people they marry. /ost of my friends would want to work
when they have kids be"ause they don7t want to be a typi"al stay at home mom. I would love to stay
home if I have kids but I would never dream of being married and not working, with no kids.
ou always dis"uss these golddiggers but the men get with these women. ou do not seem like the
type of individual that would ever deal with a woman like that, so you don7t have to worry about it. I
know several men that are with real golddiggers but they get into the situation and love it while things
are going well. 4hen the relationship turns sour, they be"ome digusted with the women. I know this
guy who is dating this girl and when she met him she said that she only dated athletes or people
involved in illi"it a"tivities. he is about to have a kid by this man, who plays professional football. he
is a true gold digger but he doesn7t "are or "an7t see it. I don7t know whether to feel sorry for him or
not be"ause she is definitely going to take him to the bank and she has said it to people around him.
owever when people tell him these things, he thinks they are lying. In a situation like that the man is
responsible for what he gets. I do not think you resemble this person.
Heply
BA. Melanie Chassen
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:BE
O teve,
True, ! mother or father "an7t be a +@3 and raise their "hildren at the same time. 2ut a G!H@*T "an
Jassuming here that there is a partnershipK. If the parents "over for ea"h other, there is no need for a
nanny, and the parents "an still have very su""essful "areers.
Heply
D(. Melanie Chassen
!ugust D, ((E at 9D:BA
O >ens,
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I agree5 I think the question would have been more effe"tive if phrased does a parent need to stay
at home in order for "hildren to be properly raised?; This does not apply to women alone.
Heply
D9. Dictatore !enerale Ma7 Ma7imilian Ma7imus 8
!ugust D, ((E at 9F:(D
U: hould women stay at home after all?
,re#era"ly yes9If one looks at *ature it is the female whi"h does the mothering or most of the
mothering. In some spe"ies both the male P the female share the responsibility of feeding P
prote"ting the offspring.
1or humans and in our "urrent state of thinking and being the "on"ept of a Qhouse husband7 is okay
tooN
The KE:point is: Is the welfare of the kidJsK paramount in the minds of the parentJsK? ;'is the
lifestyle, QparentJsK right7 to pursue a "areer, et". more important?
2ased on my personal observation homes whi"h have a stay at home mother have
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ituation also varies from "ountry to "ountry in terms of the population. 1or e&le, ingapore has a
total population of about ) million plus Jnot "ounting the foreigners working hereK. !s su"h I see that
many or most households have a working mother and father. If this wasn7t happening there wouldn7t
be enough ingaporeans to fill in the available $obs. The unemployment rate in ingapore is very very
lowN
!s usual and like most issues it is a very "omple& issue with elements of feminism, rights, and needs
of the so"ietyMthe "ountry, ideal environment for the kids and so on.
Heply
D. ste%e
!ugust D, ((E at 9F:(D
O !ngela
ure, in some "ases, if it7s painfully "lear she7s a golddigger, then yes, he sort of deserves what he
gets. 2ut I know plenty of guys who got married to women with su""essful, good paying $obs, and
soon after marriage, they de"ide to quit or work part time, meaning he7s supporting her Jeven with no
kidsK and ifMwhen she divor"es him, the "ourts take the lifestyle he provided into a""ount in the
alimony, despite her ability to work and make her own money. If you elevate a woman7s standard of
living, the "ourts will punish you for it.
I feel very bad for this one friend of mine who married a foreign woman. e doesn7t make mu"h
money, has a government $ob, but his wife is pestering him to get a higher paying $ob. he was a
lawyer, but quit to be a tea"her Jhen"e the gender pay gap mythK, she works only a little bit. /y friend
is going to wind up getting a $ob he hates, having a kid, and getting divor"ed and having to pay
alimony to a woman who "omes from a wealthy family.. he pressures him very mu"h to work in fields
he won7t like $ust to get a bigger pay"he"k. 4hen he married her, @ was a lawyer.
Heply
D). Angela in Washington D.C.
!ugust D, ((E at 9F:(F
O/elanie
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I realiCe that some woman "an have a good "areer and be a good mother. /any times the $ob or the
"areer will suffer. I do not think you "an have a hugely su""essful "areer and spend the quality time
you need to spend with your "hildren, in most $obs. /y auntie worked part time while her "hildren
were young and then started working full time when they were in high s"hool. he has had a very
su""essful "areer but she had her kids young and my un"le was the bread winner and still is.
Heply
D=. Elias
!ugust D, ((E at 9F:(E
2efore 4orld whi"h started in 9A)A it was an a""epted fa"t that women stayed at home and men
went to work. /en generally were employed in nearly all industries wether it was T%, radio, fa"tories,
managing offi"es and the like. The war took men away from their work pla"es and women were
needed to fill their pla"es, espe"ially in armanents fa"tories and other instituitions. !""ordingly more
women went to work and from then on it was an a""epted fa"t that both men and women worked so
that the in"ome be"ame two fold, hen"e they "ould more afford to meet household e&pen"es, as a
result families moved into better houses and afforded a better standard of life. That was all very well,
as a "onsequen"e women were more independant met other men and the opposite is true, from then
on more and more devor"es resulted with "hildren living with one parent. owever a su""essful
marriage is when a man is working and meeting all e&pen"es whilst his wife is "ontent in staying home
with the "hildren whi"h is not often today. 3n the other hand if a man is not working and his wife is,
so that she alone meets all e&pen"es, the marriage is doomed to failure and heads for devor"e.
4ether you agree or not this is generally a fa"t in life.
To make another point in "andinavian "ountries where a woman stays at home doing the usual
"hores and men work, for some reason or other, men usually tend to be too affe"ionate with their
"hildren and in many ways mother their "hildren so that his wife gets psy"ologi"ally depressed and
feels not needed, "andinavian men are pit"hing in mu"h to mu"h without knowing it.
4here as before the 4orld 4ar, few devor"es resulted. 4e "alled this QGH38H@7.
Heply
DB. amily2
!ugust D, ((E at 9F:(A
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Omelanie,
The problem is that in most "ases, a parent "an7t always be home.
1or most "areers to blossom, people usually have to put more than the Ehour day in.
a mother and a father "an7t both be +@3s of a "ompany and raise their "hildren.
There is $ust not enough time.
!nd, there will be times when "areer "lashes with "hild responsibilities.
If you "hoose "areer, then you are putting it first and distan"ing your "hildren.
If you "hoose "hildren, then, you are, in effe"t not putting the effort needed into "limbing the ladder.
Garenting is a $ob, in itself.
There are going to be sa"rifi"es: it is $ust a matter of who; will be making them.
Heply
DD. Shaun in Hali#a7
!ugust D, ((E at 9F:99
If the question is 36 women stay at home;, then my answer is no. It is a +3I+@ to be made
and "onsidered by ea"h family.
If the mother feels she7d rather stay home and raise her "hild, then more power to her. If there are
nearby grandparents or immediate family that don7t mind looking after the "hild for a bit beforeMafter
s"hool so the mother "an work a little, that7s fine too. owever we shouldn7t for"e a woman to stay
home. That7s $ust plain silly.
!nd on the topi"s of stay-at-home dads. It7s not "alled Glaying /ommy; or /ister *anny; it7s "alled
2eing a 1ather.;
Heply
DF. amily2
!ugust D, ((E at 9F:9=
Osteve P !ngela,
ounds like your friends would have benefitted from a prenup.
!nd, it does not have to be as harsh as people make it out to be.
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Heply
DE. +ens
!ugust D, ((E at 9F:9F
@lias,
4here do you get the idea that in s"andinavian "ountries woman stay at home???????? thes "ountries
are some of the most eman"ipated ones in the world, where equality is mu"h more advan"ed than say
the usa or uk.
both men and women get time off after the birth of a "hild.
you must be talking of a different s"andinavia than i know
Heply
DA. Melanie Chassen
!ugust D, ((E at 9F:9F
O !ngela,
I agree. I think it7s important for us all to remember that if one "hooses to stay at home or not
advan"e as far in their "areer be"ause they are raising a family, this should not be viewed as a
sa"rifi"es Jwhi"h has a negative "onnotationK. 6et7s be general for a minute: I7ll assume that people
who have "hildren, made the "ons"ious de"ision to have them and are happy with that "hoi"e. If I
were to go without a "ertain amount of su""ess in my "areer be"ause I was "reating a balan"ed
environment for my kids, I wouldn7t see this as a sa"rifi"e be"ause it7s something I would want.
Heply
F(. +ens
!ugust D, ((E at 9F:(
tve et al,
the dis"ussion of +@3 of a "omany and beeing a mother is futile. how many "eo7s are out there?
dis"ussion simpple $obs from working in a supermarket to working as an a"ademi" or tea"her of
"raftswoman makes sense.
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i am very well edu"ated and a fa"ulty, but the position of +@3 is way out of my rea"h. let7s say real
here.
women "an have e&"ellent "han"es in having a "hild and a "areer. i see it in my enviroment. it7s $ust a
matter of how mu"h @%@H3*@ is willing to parti"ipate, and yes parti"ipation also requires a sa"rifi"e.
Heply
F9. Angela in Washington D.C.
!ugust D, ((E at 9F:9
Oteve
i remember you referred to this situation before. I think it is bad when you go into a relationship
getting things out in the ope