Dealing with Assholes
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DEALING WITH ASSHOLES WITHOUT PUNCHING THEM
IN THE FACE
@vcagwin
#noassholes
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THE DIRTY DOZEN 1. Personal Insults 2. Invading one’s “personal territory” 3. Uninvited physical contact 4. Threats and intimidation, both verbal and nonverbal 5. Sarcastic jokes and teasing used as insult delivery systems 6. Withering email flames 7. Status slaps intended to humiliate their victims 8. Public shaming or “status degradation” rituals 9. Rude interruptions 10. Two-faced attacks 11. Dirty Looks 12. Treating people as if they are invisible
The No Asshole Rule by Robert Su7on
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RUN!
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NEGATIVE EFFECTS
• Reduced innovation and creativity • Reduced cooperation and cohesion • Higher rates charged by outsiders • Inability to attract good talent
The No Asshole Rule by Robert Su7on
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SNIPERS
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COMPLAINERS
h7p://www.biz.uiowa.edu/bizblog/wp-‐content/uploads/2011/12/milton-‐office-‐space.jpg
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SILENT PEOPLE
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THE KNOW IT ALL
h7p://www.criEcaltwenEes.in/wp-‐content/uploads/2010/12/social-‐network-‐movie-‐review_211010124406.jpg
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• The criEcal parent – disciplinarian and judgmental • The nurturing parent – protecEve and soothing PARENT
• RaEonal, objecEve and posiEve communicaEon • OOen mediates between the parent and the child parts of our personality.
ADULT
• The duEful child – submissive and obedient • The free/irraEonal child – creaEve and a7enEon seeking
CHILD
NATURAL RESPONSES
Transac0onal Analysis by Eric Berne
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TAKING CONTROL
P
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P
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P
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Complimentary TransacEon
Crossed TransacEon
Transac0onal Analysis by Eric Berne
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ASK QUESTIONS
CALL THEM OUT, BUT COME PREPARED.
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I VS YOU
h7p://www.ohmygahh.com/wp-‐content/uploads/2013/08/harrison-‐ford-‐finger-‐point-‐conan-‐2013.jpg
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EMPATHY
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MAKE FRIENDS GET PERSPECTIVE FROM COLLEAGUES
h7p://www.antoniogenna.net/friends/download/friends05.jpg
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SUGAR & SPICE ALL THINGS NICE
h7p://www.shaunareid.com/2013/04/if-‐anyone-‐has-‐lost-‐a-‐duck.html
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REMAIN CALM
WHAT EVER YOU DO, DON’T THROW A TANTRUM.
h7p://www.billdesowitz.com/wp-‐content/uploads/2012/05/Hulk-‐2.jpg
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CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF ICE CUBE
h7p://www.mycustomer.com/sites/default/files/styles/608x350/public/images/Ice%20Cube.png