8/7/2019 Days in the desert

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Days in the desert

Antony Feltham-White describes Lent in Afghanistan

On patrol: the Revd Antony Feltham-White, armed with his cricket bat, on duty inAfghanistan. “I don’t carry arms, and find a game of cricket with the local childrenmuch more appealing,” he says

This time of year is fantastic: life is bursting forth all around, as nature once morecolours our world with a rainbow of beauty. The weather is slowly getting warmer,and the evenings are finally becoming lighter after a long, long winter. Easter iscoming. Our celebration of Christ’s triumphant resurrection is just a few weeksaway.Here in Helmand, the winter has not been as cold as the one you have had in Britain.

Recently, however, we have been deluged by weeks of torrential rain that has turnedthe normally dusty desert landscape into thick mud. Apart from brown, there is notmuch colour anywhere. But Easter is still coming.When you are surrounded by new life, it seems much easier to prepare to celebrateEaster. Apart from perhaps a lack of choco-late or alcohol, Lent is a lovely fewweeks of joyful expectation. When you are surrounded by death, injury, and mud, itseems so much harder. Or so I thought until I began planning my Lentenendeavours.I BEGAN by puzzling over what I could give up, as our living conditions arealready somewhat austere, with little in the way of home comforts. I took encouragement from my namesake, Antony of Egypt, one of the original DesertFathers.I imagined that his opportunities for washing himself would have been limited, andso I considered giving up my weekly cold shower. Then I remembered that I live

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cheek by jowl with seven paratroopers in an eight-man tent. It’s none too fragrant asit is; so I reasoned that this was not a good option for any of us.I don’t know whether Antony was a honey-and-locust man, but I next assumed thatfasting of some sort would fit the bill. However, our life here is active, to say theleast, and the Army calculates precisely how many calories we need in our rationpacks.

If I were to forgo any of my quota, I would not only be putting myself at risk, butalso potentially my soldiers’ lives, too, if I were not able to function properly whileon patrol with them. There is also no opportunity to buy snacks in our patrol basesor checkpoints, and therefore no opportunity not to buy them.Athanasius of Alexandria, who wrote a biography of Antony, says that he sufferednumerous temptations in the desert. The devil afflicted him with boredom andlaziness. There is no danger of that here, as everybody works at least 16-hour days.So, next, I considered whether I could give up any aspects of my work in order to domy Lenten soul-searching. I certainly cannot reduce the time I give to caring for mysoldiers: God knows, they could do with more than I can give anyway.My other main source of activity is in building relationships with the Afghan peoplewhom we work with and among. The news always makes it sound as if we donothing but fighting. That’s not true. We spend the majority of our time in securingand building communities, encouraging people to move back into what were oncewar-torn areas. We have built schools and clinics, we have repaired homes andmosques, and we have dug wells and water courses.Our soldiers have learnt about Islam and Afghan culture from the local people,soldiers, and police whom we mentor and encourage, and I have shared with their leaders what it means to be a Christian. I have sat with mullahs as we lamentedtogether about the “youth of today” and the struggle to keep a roof on a place of worship. I would hate to give any of this up, as we have been making great progress.THAT rules out washing, food, and work, leaving only sleep, leisure time, andprayers. Any spare time I have is spent exercising, as the Army needs me to be fit. Ihave to wear body armour and carry a rucksack full of equipment every time I moveabout. I have to be able to look after myself, as there is nobody else to do that.Lifting a few weights and sitting on an exercise bike a couple of times a week is anecessity for my survival: I don’t carry a weapon; so I need to be able to run fast.As for sleep, there is little room for manoeuvre here, either. Most nights, it is after midnight before I am in bed, and then we are woken by our local mosque’s call for prayer just before dawn. Some nights, operations mean that there is no sleep at all.Finally, cutting out prayer would be impossible. It would defeat the whole object of my Lenten reflection and repentance. I pray in the morning when the call to prayer

gets me up, and I don’t stop all day.I pray like crazy when I am on patrol or out of the safety of our base areas, and Ioften have some sort of Bible study or prayer time in the evenings. On reflection,my whole life out here in the once-dusty desert involves nothing but prayer.ANTONY gave away all that he had inherited to live a simple existence in an oldfort in the desert, west of Alexandria. He discovered in his ascetic lifestyle that therewas so much more room for God.Life here in Helmand also has a simplicity to it. I have few possessions with me, andmy basic living requirements are all provided for. There are no televisions, nomobile phones, no bills, no cars, and no diversions at all — save work, sleep,exercise, and prayer.

My planning for Lent was unnecessary. Here, Christ is so much more a reality in allthat I do. I feel him closely with me in the wilderness of Lent; I will endeavour topray with him in the garden on Maundy Thursday; and I hope to stand at the foot of

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