DATING OUTLINEDATING OUTLINE

I. Definition of Dating

• A shared social relationship between two people who are attracted to one another

II. Dating Patterns• Stage 1: Casual dating

II. Dating Patterns• Stage 1: Casual dating

• Stage 2: Pairing

II. Dating Patterns• Stage 1: Casual dating

• Stage 2: Pairing

• Stage 3: Developingcommitment

Stage 3: Developing Commitment

The amount of commitment you develop depends on:

1.The couple (personalities)2.Their stage of life3.The purpose of their relationship4.Consideration of their future together5.Engagement6.How strongly they share values & goals7.Their interest in marriage

III. Purposes of DatingA. EnjoymentB. Friendship and companionshipC. Learning social skillsD. Personal developmentE. Learning gender rolesF. Giving & receiving love & affectionG. Selecting a mateH. Preparing for marriage

IV. Attraction

A. What do you like?

Zits

IV. Attraction

• What do you dislike?

V. Social Changes

• A. Female Role

V. Social Changes

• A. Female Role• B. Male Role

V. Social Changes

• A. Female Role• B. Male Role• C. Well-defined Responsibilities

V. Social Changes

• A. Female Role• B. Male Role• C. Well-defined Responsibilities• D. Formality

V. Social Changes

• A. Female Role• B. Male Role• C. Well-defined Responsibilities• D. Formality• E. Rights &

Responsibilities

One Date is All it Takes

• One of the purposes of dating is to meet a marriage partner eventually. The Lapps are people who live above the Arctic Circle in parts of Norway, Sweden, Finland and the former USSR. They have cut dating down to the bare essentials: boy meets girl, boy meets girl’s parents, boy and girl get married.

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• Although less common than in the past, traditionally, the Lapps herd reindeer to make a living. Different groups of Lapps rarely meet each other. Once a year, however, they gather at a fair to trade with each other. Naturally as young men meet young women from other groups at this time, they begin to think about choosing a bride.

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• The boys watch the girls at the fair as they help their families. If a boy decides he likes a particular girl, he speaks to her – very politely and respectfully. If she shares his interest, she can expect him to come to meet her parents.

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• Later, when the boy shows up at the family’s reindeer-hide tent, he will compliment the girl in front of her parents to let them know he appreciates her. Then, he sits down and waits. He will rarely be acknowledged. It is up to him to make the next move.

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• When he thinks the time is right, the boy asks to make coffee. The parents supply him with a pot and cups. If the girl’s parents ignore the coffee, the boy takes the hint and leaves. He has been formally rejected.

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• If the parents accept the coffee, however, it means they accept him, too. The wedding will take place within a few days. Once the fair breaks up, the bride and her new husband will begin to follow the reindeer again.

» The End

VI. Family Rules

• What kind of rules do families set for dating?

VII. Positive Relationship Qualities

• A. Compatibility

VII. Positive Relationship Qualities

• A. Compatibility• B. Honesty• C. Respect• D. Mutual nurturing• E. Independence