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CUMBERLAND and

PERRY COUNTIES, PA NEWS

JANUARY MEETING

NAMI PA of CUMBERLAND and PERRY COUNTIES

THURSDAY, JANUARY, 17, 2019 at S.T.A.R.

253 Penrose Place, Carlisle, Pa.

7:00 —8:30 Family Member Support Meeting &

Separate Consumer Support Meeting

P.O. Box 527

Carlisle, PA 17013 https://namicppa.org/nami.cp.pa@gmail.com

Message line number: 717 620-9580

240-8715

2019 brings changes to our newsletter and a Plea for more memberships. This page 1 is restyled to eliminate the table of contents. For an 8 page newsletter this is not really necessary. Also, the Calendar is moved from page 1 to page 2 using space that was previously used inefficiently to list support meetings. Much more significantly, there are changes to the frequency and the distribution of our Newsletter. The Newsletter will now be published five times a year. One for each season and an additional Newsletter for the holiday season at the end of the year when we have elections and reorganize. This is the LAST Newsletter that will be regularly mailed to non-members. This applies to both the emailed newsletters and the paper newsletters that are snail mailed. One complimentary Newsletter will be mailed (email or snail mail) to a new contact who is interested in NAMI, but that mailing will not continue indefinitely as has been the past practice. For those who receive this Newsletter by email, the email that transmits this Newsletter will inform you as to whether your membership is active. For those who receive this Newsletter in paper form, you can determine your membership status by signing into the National NAMI website at www.NAMI.org, or you can email or call the contact numbers for our affiliate. This change is to encourage membership in NAMI. Membership strengthens our organization and increases the vol-ume of NAMI’s voice at the national, state and local level. NAMI CP PA has existed for 34 years as an all volunteer organization. By comparing our activity level with similar counties that have some staff it is clear that we could provide more very much needed services if we had enhanced recruitment and coordination that could be provided by staff. Increased membership is vital to this effort. JOIN NOW BY USING THE PANEL AT THE BACK OF THIS NEWSLETTER OR THROUGH THE NAMI WEBSITE!

Duplication and distribution of this Newsletter is made possible by the MH/IDD Board of Cumberland/Perry Counties

NEWSLETTER CHANGES IN 2019 and

PLEA FOR MEMBERSHIPS AND RENEWALS

NAMI is the largest nationwide, grassroots membership organization devoted to improving the lives of those affected, directly and indirectly, by serious mental illness. NAMI is comprised of family members, friends and consumers.

Volume XXII, Winter Issue Winter 2019

Contact Us:

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NAMI Pa. Cumberland/

Perry Counties

P.O. Box 527

Carlisle, PA 17013

https://namicppa.org/

Message line number:

717 620-9580

President:

Kathleen Zwierzyna 717-877-7214

nami.cp.pa@gmail.com

Vice President:

Thom Fager

Treasurer: Stephen

Zwierzyna

Secretary: Taylor P.

Andrews

Board of Directors:

Bonnie Iorfido

Lisa Savadel

Brian Stubbs

Susan Orr Parker

Publisher:

NAMI Pa. Cumberland/ Perry

Counties

Editor: Taylor P. Andrews

243-0123 or 243-1645

Winter 2019 Vol. XXII No. 1

CALLENDAR

$40.00 For an individual

Membership includes membership in NAMI [national] and NAMI PA, and

Subscriptions to The Advocate, The Alliance, and NAMI PA C/P News.

$60.00 For a Household

A Household consists of two or more people living at the same address. A

Household has one vote, and will receive one copy of subscriptions.

$5 - $35.00 For “Open Door” membership

Anybody can opt to join as an open door member. Dues are any amount

that can be afforded. This option is available so that membership is not

denied due to financial hardship. Open door members are regular members

with all the privileges and powers of membership including all subscriptions.

$75.00 For Professional Membership

A Professional member shows support for the mission and goals of the or-

ganization. Upon request, NAMI PA C/P will provide multiple copies of our

newsletter for the waiting room of Professional Members.

Make Payment to: NAMI CPPA

Send Payment to: NAMI CPPA , Box 527, Carlisle, Pa 17013

JOIN NOW TO BECOME PART OF THE NAMI FAMILY

Memberships submitted now will extend for a year

January 17th—3rd Thursday Support Meeting in Carlisle, PA at STAR—7 PM

January 21st—Dauphin County Support Group at Epiphany Lutheran Church at

1100 Colonial Rd., Harrisburg, PA at 6:30 PM Contact: Marge Chapman 717 574-

0055

January 23rd—NAMI CP PA Board Meeting—HQ at 134 N. Hanover St., Carlisle, PA

6:30 PM.

February 5th—West Shore Support Meeting at St. Timothy’s Lutheran Church,

4200 Carlisle Pike, Camp Hill, PA 17011 at 6:30 PM

February 18th—Dauphin County Support Group at Epiphany Lutheran Church at

1100 Colonial Rd., Harrisburg, PA at 6:30 PM Contact: Marge Chapman 717 574-

0055

February 21st—3rd Thursday Support Meeting in Carlisle, PA at STAR—7 PM

March 7th—West Shore Support Meeting at St. Timothy’s Lutheran Church, 4200

Carlisle Pike, Camp Hill, PA 17011 at 6:30 PM

March 18th—Dauphin County Support Group at Epiphany Lutheran Church at

1100 Colonial Rd., Harrisburg, PA at 6:30 PM Contact: Marge Chapman 717 574-

0055

March 21st—3rd Thursday Support Meeting in Carlisle, PA at STAR—7 PM

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DESPAIR AND DEPRESSION AM I TOO DEPRESSED TO GET BETTER?

From HealthyPlace.com It’s one of the cruel-est aspects of de-pression and nearly every other mental illness. It’s despair, the feeling and the thought that you’ve fallen so far down that you’ll never be able to climb back out. When the symptoms of depression, severe anxiety, and more crush you under their weight, it’s almost impossible to believe that you have the strength to push them away and climb. The thing about despair is that it feeds on itself. It pushes the real you—emotions and thoughts and beliefs and actions and hopes and dreams and a sense of purpose and love and con-nections—aside so it can grow.

How to Deal with Despair

Despair, though, is nothing more than one of many human emotions. Rather than thinking of climbing up, think instead of slipping past it. The first step is getting out from under its weight. To do so, remember one part of the real you that is still there, and you want out of hiding. Gradually go after it. Maybe it’s an emotion like amazement. To feel amazement or awe, get online and explore things that you find interesting. Even if you still feel despair, you’ve brought back a piece of yourself and are starting to slip past despair. You are not too depressed to get better. We can all get better. Reclaiming pieces of yourself shrinks despair and nurtures your true self. (Note: If you feel like you’ll never get better and are considering harming yourself, please call or chat with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255); https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

TYPES OF DEPRESSION BY NATASHA TRACY

The Different Types of Depression

Depression is a common, treatable mental illness that can be experienced at any time in life. While the term "depression" always indicates a low or depressed mood, there are several types of depression. These different types of depression de-scribe slight, but often important, diagnostic differences. Only a doctor can diagnose what type of depression you have.1

Major Depressive Disorder

Major depressive disorder is the type of depression on which other types are built. While other types of depression have specific features, they must all match the diagnosis of major depressive disorder as well. Major depressive disorder is made up of one or more major depressive episodes which severely impact life functioning. A major depressive episode is two weeks or more of exhibiting five of the following symptoms (at least one of which must be of the top two):

A depressed mood (a low mood, sadness) Loss of pleasure in previously pleasurable activities Weight and appetite changes Sleep disturbance Increase or decrease in speed of muscle activity Fatigue, loss of energy Extremely low self-esteem Difficulty with thinking and concentration

Repeated thoughts of death, dying or suicide A suicide attempt or plan In order to be diagnosed with this type of depression, the symptoms must not be better explained by another physical or psychological disorder.

Depression with Melancholic Features

This form of depression requires a lack of pleasure from almost all stimuli previously found pleasurable and requires the addi-tion of at least three of the following symptoms:

A depressed mood that is distinctly different then that felt when a loved one dies

Depression that is worse in the morning Waking up 2 hours earlier than usual Observable muscle slowing or speeding up Significant weight loss or anorexia Extreme feelings of guilt

Depression with Catatonic Features

This type of depression can be very hard to treat due to the withdrawal of the patient from all those around them. Depres-sion with catatonic features requires two of the following symptoms:

Muscle immobility, trance-like

(Continued on page 4)

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Muscle activity without reason Extreme negativism or mutism Unusual posturing, grimacing and movements Repetition of the words or actions of others

Atypical Depression

Atypical depression includes a mood that is changeable by out-side stimuli. Two or more of the following symptoms must also be present:

Significant weight gain or appetite Increased sleep Feelings of heaviness in the extremities that lead to im-

paired functioning Sensitivity to interpersonal rejection

Seasonal Affective Disorder

Seasonal affective disorder, often known as SAD, is one of the types of depression that require specific timing of depressive episodes rather than a specific set of symptoms. This type of depression requires depressive episodes that correspond with a season. These depressive episodes must have occurred for at least two years and the seasonal depressive episodes must sig-nificantly outnumber the nonseasonal episodes (if present).

Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression (PPD) also depends on episode timing. While most new mothers experience the "baby blues," a full-blown major depressive episode can develop for between 10% - 15% of women following childbirth. PPD is made up of major

(Continued from page 3) depressive episode(s) in-distinguishable from any other major depressive episode, with the excep-tion of timing. Extreme sadness, tearfulness, anxi-ety and despair are com-mon in this type of de-pression.

Depressive Disorders Not Otherwise Specified

As with most mental illness, there is a type of depression known as not otherwise specified (NOS), which allows a clinician to di-agnose depression in someone who does not perfectly fit into the current diagnostic model.

Dysthymia

Dysthymia is sometimes confused with a subtype of depression but is actually a disorder in its own right. Dysthymia is diagnosed in children and adolescents when a depressed or irritable mood is present for more than one year. Dysthymia is not considered as severe a diagnosis as other types of depression.2

Dysthymia diagnosis is complicated, as it must take into account the individual’s developmental stage and personal history. How-ever, many of the symptoms of other types of depression are part of the diagnostic criteria of dysthymia. Dysthymia is only diagnosed when another type of depression does not better explain the symptoms.

Effects of Depression: Physical, Social Effects of Depression

BY NATASHA TRACY

The effects of depression can be devastating in all areas of a person's life. The side effects of depression can often be seen at work, school and home as well as in the person-al relationships of the patient. Diagnosis and treatment minimizes the effects of depression so early intervention is key. Without depression treatment, 40% of depressed individuals will still meet a diagnosis of depres-sion after one year. Depression often affects people during periods of change in their lives. The effects of depression on pregnancy include low-er birthrates and preterm labor.1 Babies born to depressed mothers also show:

Increased irritability Less activity Less attentiveness

Fewer facial expressions The most serious effect of depression is a suicide attempt or completion. Up to 15% of people with affective disorders, like depression, commit suicide.

Physical Effects of Depression

The physical effects of depression impact the brain, heart and other parts of the body. Research shows that depression nega-tively affects the brain. A decrease in brain volume is one of the most disturbing side effects of depression. Fortunately, antidepressants appear to be able to reverse this brain volume loss.3

Depression and pain are also inter-related. Long-term depres-sion is also known to negatively impact the heart. Depression causes inappropriate release of adrenaline which, over time, damages the cardiovascular system. An increase in artery and

(Continued on page 5)

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9 WAYS TO COPE WITH DEPRESSION THAT WORK THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 20 2018 BY MICHELLE SEDAS

blood vessel stress are further health effects of depression. This can increase the risk of blood clots and heart attack.4 The effects of depression cause an overall increase in mortality, where those with depression may die 25 years sooner than the average person. This is thought to be due to both the physical and social side effects of depression.

Social Effects of Depression

In addition to the health effects of depression, patients experi-ence social effects as well. The social effects of depression change how a person functions in the world and their relation-ship with others. Social effects of depression include: Substance use and abuse

Social and family withdrawal Decreased performance at work or school

(Continued from page 4)

Use distraction. Distraction from our depressed thoughts can greatly help to improve our mood. Find something you enjoy, and en-gage yourself in it.

Help others. When we help others, we get our minds off of our own problems and worries. Helping others helps to make the world a better place and helps to improve our moods.

Limit social media. Social media can cause us to feel more depressed. Try limiting your use of social media to improve your mood.

Engage in self-care. When we are depressed, we often ne-glect self-care. Self-care is so important to stay mentally healthy. When we engage in self-care, caring for our body, mind, and spirit, we will find that our mood will improve.

Celebrate achievements. When we are depressed, doing even small things can be difficult. Celebrating small achieve-ments when depressed can help to inspire improve your mood.

It's difficult to cope with depression. I have dealt with depres-sion for most of my life. While at times it seems that we are helpless to combat this mental illness, the truth is that there are things we can do to help us cope with depression. Here, I give my best advice on coping with depression.

My Best Advice for How to Cope with Depression

Exercise. The importance of exercise cannot be overstat-ed. Earlier, I did a three-part series on exercise and de-pression, starting with this post: "How Exercise Helps with Depression." Exercise releases endorphins, it gives struc-ture to our days and allows for distraction from our de-pressed thoughts.

Be mindful. Mindfulness is “paying attention in a particu-lar way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudg-mentally.”1 When we are feeling depressed, giving atten-tion to the present moment can help alleviate our de-pressed feelings. It removes thoughts of the past and of the future from our minds, and we are left feeling calmer.

Talk about depression when you need to. There are times

when it’s important to talk about depression. If you’re feeling suicidal, get help now. If you are suffering in si-lence, talk with a trusted friend or professional. To end the stigma associated with depression, it’s important to share your story.

Don’t always talk about depression. While giving voice to

depression is important, be mindful that at some point, the scales begin to tip and talking about depression isn’t helpful.

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You Don't Look Like You Have Depression By Brittany Kinsella | Dec. 19, 2018

Every ninety days, I need a refill. I have to sit in the waiting room and check off whether or not I am sleeping or eating or feeling irritable. Every time I need a refill on my antidepressant, since I was nineteen years old, a receptionist has handed me this short question-naire before I see the doctor. It's usually pretty mundane. I give her my last name, she pass-es me the paper, and I quietly take a seat. I work through the standard questions on depression and hand it back to her. I play a game on my phone until the doctor calls me in. Until recently, this interaction has always been the same back and forth between us. But a few weeks ago, a receptionist I wasn’t as familiar with broke the script we usually follow. Like always, I smiled when I approached the front desk, ever polite despite wanting to be elsewhere. I saw the question-naire next to the receptionist, the section I was supposed to complete already highlighted. Upon hearing my last name, a confused look took over her face, and she eyed me up and down. "Depression?" She asked, handing me the clipboard. "You don't look like you have that." Taken off guard, I awkwardly laughed and found a seat in the waiting room. I checked off my answers honestly and felt my body heating up. Her comment bounced around in my mind; the blatant assumption was upsetting me, and I couldn't tell if I was overreacting. I wondered, Should I tell the doctor? Or should I brush it off as an ignorant choice of words? After internally debating whether to mention it through the entire appointment, I ended up blurting it out to the doctor. She thanked me for telling her, and I felt better knowing that the next patient wouldn't have to hear something similar. I wish this receptionist had considered her words a more care-

fully. Why do I care? It’s really very simple: there is no face of mental illness. No face of depression or anxiety. No face of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. No specific look or standard that one can point out in a crowd of people. These illnesses come in every color and in every shape, at different times and through all ages. The receptionist was right. I don't "look" like I have depression be-cause we are encouraged to carry on as best we can given the circumstances. I don’t have any outward signs of my condition but this doesn’t make it any less real. I also don't look like I have two brothers or the ability to wiggle my ears or an addiction to coffee, but I do. I don't look like I can play the flute, or was born in Florida, or have sleeping problems, but that's all true too. I go to therapy. I take an antidepressant every day. Sometimes I don't eat for days at a time; instead I drink black coffee and red wine, and I cry. I struggle every day to get out of bed. I have tackled so much grief, emotional abuse and insecurity that it often doesn't feel worth it to wake up in the morning. But you wouldn’t be able to tell any of this just by looking at me. To the receptionist at the doctor's office and anyone else who doesn't understand, let me tell you this: there are hilarious co-medians and talented chefs and beautiful fashion designers who are taking their own lives. Someone like me might laugh a lot and wear nice clothes and pay her rent on time; it won't "look" like she's struggling to you, but it doesn't mean she's not. There is no way to tell what someone is fighting other than en-gaging in simple conversation. Ask your best friend, your col-league or the stranger next to you how they are doing. Check up on those you are close to, because it's a scary world and some people want to leave. Life is not always beautiful, but some-times it's extraordinary, and it's worth sticking around for. I know not everyone can be saved. But if we can save even one person, I still think we're doing the best we possibly can. Brittany Kinsella is a writer in her mid-twenties, living and work-ing in New York City. Her other work has been published on ThoughtCatalog. Brittany is a strong advocate for revealing the current stigma on mental health. Outside of writing, Brittany enjoys reading, running, cooking, and traveling to new places.

PMHCA Community Outreach Coordinator Pat Madigan will facilitate a seminar on well-ness and recovery on March 19 at 2 p.m. at Bosler Memorial Library in Carlisle. The free seminar is entitled The Strength of “I” in “I am the Evidence”. No registration is required.

Madigan and participants will explore their individual and collective experience of wellness and recovery through discussion and a Q&A session. The seminar is part of the Carlisle Institute for Lifelong Learning, a community-based series of programs and courses for adults on a variety of topics, including arts, civics, science, finance, and culture. The Institute was initiated by a group of community members with the vision of creating a setting for personal growth, social opportunities, and intellectual stimulation. It is sponsored by Bosler Memorial Library, and public input on future programs is invited. Additional information is available at www.cumberlandcountylibraries.org/BOS_CILL.

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HOW MY DEPRESSION MADE ME A BETTER STATE REPRESENTATIVE By Michael Schlossberg | Dec. 17, 2018

When I first told the world I suffered from a major depressive disor-der and generalized anxiety disorder, I mis-calculated. I was angry at the time, and I didn’t realize it would actually have a positive impact on me and the people I represent. I’m a full-time elected official. I have the great privilege of serving as a Pennsylvania State Representative for the people of the 132nd Legislative District, representing parts of Allentown and South Whitehall township. I’ve held this elected position since 2012, and it is one of the greatest honors of my life. I never planned on “going public” with my depression and anxiety. Certainly not in a loud way. My family and friends knew, but it wasn’t something I wore on my sleeve. That changed with the suicide of Robin Williams. Like many of you, I mourned his death. I wondered how a man with his resources could ultimately lose the fight against his demons. On the day his suicide was an-nounced, I was scrolling through Facebook, and came across this status: “So sad Robin Williams committed sui-cide. Shame he didn’t have enough faith in Jesus!” Did people really think this way? Apparently, given the guy’s statement and all the “likes” it had, yes. So, I decided it was time to tell my story, and wrote an op-ed in the Morning Call, my local paper. In it, I detailed my own struggles with depression and anxiety. A few years later, I went into more detail about the darkest mo-ments of my life, when I considered suicide. To my pleasant surprise, telling my story was, to be hon-est, an amazing benefit for my career. I was so angry when I wrote the op-ed that I didn’t think of the political ramifications. But I won awards and accolades from across the state. I don’t mention this to boost my own ego, but to make a point: Living a public life wound up being the best thing for my career.

It became an issue that my constituents knew I could speak about with the credibility of someone with lived experience. I have been approached by hundreds of peo-ple who also suffer; sometimes to ask for advice, some-times to say thank you and other times to simply express solidarity. Since then, I’ve done more. I co-founded and co-chair the Pennsylvania Mental Health Caucus. I spoke about my own challenges on the floor of the House of Representatives. I’ve appeared in PSAs and spo-ken at countless events. Legislatively, I’ve fought for fund-ing increases and introduced legislation to help poor mothers get access to treatment for postpartum depres-sion, as well as reduce suicides. My job requires I live a public life. Every success and every mistake—and believe me, I have made them—are for the whole world to see. The ultimate anecdote to that? Pure, unadulterated honesty. Even with my so-called “flaws,” like the depression and anxiety that periodically rear their ugly heads. I’m still in therapy. I’ve taken medication every single morning since I was 18. And I talk about that all the time, because I want the world to know who I really am. I have publicly said I don’t think I’ll ever “get over” my de-pression. Recovery is a journey, not a destination. I will always struggle. But I’ll do it for the whole world to see. That honesty—that willingness to live a public life—is beyond freeing. In a very public job, the whole world knows who I am. My point is this: Embrace the freedom that living a public life can bring. And help others show the rest of the world their authentic and true self without the fear of negative repercussions. Mike Schlossberg is an author, advocate and Pennsylvania State Representative. He has suffered from major depres-sion and a generalized anxiety disorder since he was 18. Check out his blog and his book, “Redemption.”

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FOUR WAYS TO PREVENT DEPRESSION RELAPSE By MICHELLE SEDAS

We can do things to help prevent depression relapse. I’ve relapsed with my depression more times than I can even count. I was first hospitalized for depression when I was 12. The second time, I was 25. My last hospitalization was a little over five years ago, and I have had many episodes of major depression in between those hospitalizations. There’s a good chance that I could relapse into a major episode, even one requiring hospitalization, again. While this might sound depressing and discouraging, I choose to believe that this awareness allows me to safeguard against future major relapses. For me, preventing depres-sion relapse includes several different actions.

My Top Ways to Prevent Depression Relapse

1. Take time for self-care.

2. Be mindful.

3. Be gentle and accepting of yourself. 4. Seek help early. Take Time for Self-Care Activities that Prevent Depression Relapse With my many relapses, I’ve learned that it’s important to take time for self-care. For me, this means making sure my spiritual, physical, and emotional needs are met. When I’m off balance with any one of these, my mental health deteriorates.

Keep your mental health appointments. Exercise daily (learn how exercise alleviates depres-

sion). Eat healthy foods that help depression and refrain

from drinking alcohol. Get the right amount of sleep. Socialize with others. Spend time offline, preferably in nature.

Do something creative. Make your own list of self-care activities.

Be Mindful to Prevent Relapse into Depression

Mindfulness is present-moment awareness. Using mindfulness to help with depression tunes you into the present moment so you can focus on what you are doing and how you are feeling. When I am mindful of my actions and my feelings, I am able to catch my de-pressed thoughts before they go careening out of control.

Be Gentle and Self-Accepting

Even after engaging in self-care and mindfulness, we still might find ourselves feeling depressed. If this is the case, it’s important to be gentle and accepting of ourselves and our conditions. When I’m gen-tle and accepting of myself and not overwhelmed with shame, I’m more likely to reach out and get the help I need. This, in turn, helps me to get better more quickly. Know Your Relapse Warning Signs to Prevent Worsening Depression For me, that means not waiting until I’m suicidal to get help. By knowing myself better and my warning signs -- for example, wanting to spend more time in bed or withdrawing socially -- I’m able to get the help that I need in the earlier stages.

Author: Michelle Sedas

Michelle is a wife and a mother of two children. She is the author of two books and the coauthor of a third. Her book, Welcome The Rain, will inspire you to see beyond life's storms. Find Michelle on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and her personal blog.

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PLEASE DON’T REACT; RESPOND By Sky Lea Ross | Dec. 06, 2018

Many people don't know how to provide comfort or re-spond appropriately in times of need or crisis. Instead of listening and taking the time to provide a constructive re-sponse, they jump to conclu-sions. They say the first thing that comes to mind, or in other words, they react. This can be unhelpful, or possibly even detri-mental to the person in distress. In order to respond in a help-ful way, a person must think beyond their initial reaction.

Reactions to Avoid

Based on my experience living with chronic depression and as a psychotherapist, here is my list of reaction pitfalls to avoid when someone talks to you about their depression. Dismissing/Minimizing Someone comes to you depressed, and the first thing you say is “it could be worse," or "it's not even that bad." Then, you bring up a story that happened to you or someone you know and compare/contrast. This may make the person feel bad for men-tioning what they're going through, as if they’re just complain-ing. People, especially those of us who suffer from mental ill-ness, want to feel heard and understood. Being dismissive or minimizing the problem makes it seem as if it doesn't matter, which can make someone feel more alone or as a burden to others. Another way of being dismissive is being too cheerful or overly optimistic. Saying things like "just think positively," "look at the bright side," or trying to cheer the person up by making a ton of unrelated jokes or changing the subject. If a person is feeling down, it can make them feel misunderstood or that you are too uncomfortable to discuss their condition. Being realistic and supportive is more helpful than being superficially happy. Gaslighting The definition of "gaslighting" is when you make someone feel irrational by discrediting them and making them doubt them-selves. It’s hearing phrases like:

"It's all in your head"

"You're choosing to feel this way" "Stop being so negative" "Stop feeling sorry for yourself" “You're being overdramatic” “You're such a crybaby”

Depression is a disease, just like diabetes or asthma, and should be recognized as such. A person with depression, is

most likely already facing guilt, shame, helplessness, low self-esteem, loneliness, among other difficult symptoms. None of this is a choice, but it is all a part of the condition. Making these types of comments can be incredibly insensitive and painful to hear. You may think you're giving them tough love or a reality check, but this type of language typically does more harm than good. Challenging/Playing the Devil's Advocate Say someone tells you about a friend that they feel slighted or betrayed them. After you listen to their story, you start relating to and defending their friend's actions. Maybe you think their friend didn't do anything wrong or malicious. That's fine, and you can express that and offer some clarity. However, if you go out of your way to analyze the story and identify with their friend, you're now taking sides and undermining their experi-ence. This can cause them to feel their point of view is insignifi-cant or invalid. They came to you and told you the story be-cause they were hurt and searching for support, not for you to ignore and invalidate their feelings. Giving Unsolicited Advice Humans, naturally, are fixers. When someone comes to us with a problem, it can be our first instinct to solve it. But giving ad-vice when it isn't requested can be unhelpful, especially if you're not well informed, qualified or familiar with the person's situation. Very often, someone feeling depressed just wants to vent and release their frustrations. If a person asks for it, give the best advice and guidance you can. But if not, don't assume someone needs it and can't figure things out on their own. How Best to Respond

Now that we've identified the unhealthy reactions people com-monly make, here are some healthier alternatives. Validating A person going through depression wants to feel heard, under-stood and comforted. Saying things like:

"I'm really sorry you went through that" "That must have been tough" "Wow, that sounds stressful" "You've been through a lot" Responses like this mirror feelings and show that you've been listening, you really care and you're acknowledging and imagin-ing what they've been through. It shows that you empathize with their struggles and can make them feel better.

Reframing

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Those who live with depression tend to look at life through a negative lens, and you can help them to see the positive side. If they make a statement like, "I'm a failure," rephrase it in a more realistic way. "No, you had a setback. But it's a lesson learned, and now you can try again." Or, "No, you struggled to get the results you wanted. But that doesn't define you." You can also compliment them by reinforcing their strengths, skills and accomplishments.

Having a Sense of Humor

Making a bad situation funny can be a great way of making someone feel better. But it’s essential to assess the needs of who you're talking to and their communication style. Do they like to laugh things off? Or would they prefer you to be seri-ous? You may be able to tell based on previous conversations, or you can always ask. Everyone has different needs at differ-ent times.

Instilling Hope

(Continued from page 9) Living with depression can make a person feel hopeless. Their view of the world may be shrouded in darkness. But you can help them feel hopeful. Remind them that there is help, re-sources, mental health services and support out there for them. You can offer to take them or go with them to therapy or a support group if they don’t want to go alone. You can also give them consistent support and reassurance. Let them know you believe things will improve for them. Let them know that you are there for them and will support them every step of the way. Born and raised in the poorer parts of Northern Pasadena, Sky had to navigate the resources available to her at a very young age. Having a family history of chronic mental and physical illnesses as well as disabilities, she was exposed to abuse and neglect and went into foster care at age 15. This opened more doors for her, introduced her to a loving and supportive foster mother, and allowed her to pursue higher education. Now, working towards her doctorate of psychology (Psy.D.) in Mar-riage and Family Therapy, she has dedicated her life to fighting for social justice/human rights and providing therapy as well as educating others on the importance of mental health.

Mental Health or Mental Illness - There is a Difference

New book of compiled blog posts by a psychiatrist and an advocate that differentiates between two terms commonly interchanged that are, in fact,

different.

DUNDAS, Ontario - Jan. 9, 2019 - PRLog -- This new book, Mind You, is a compilation of the most popular posts from the blog

called Mind You, Reflections of Mental Illness, Mental Health and Life.

We began this blog in October 2014 in order to provide commentary on the state of mental illness and its treatment for the

lay public. What we provide is a viewpoint from that of a psychiatrist with many years of experience (David Laing Dawson) and

a family member of someone who does have schizophrenia (Marvin Ross). Aside from his personal experience (or lived experi-

ence as it is commonly referred to), he is also a medical writer, advocate and publisher of books that take a unique look at

mental illness.

To date, we have had close to 75,000 views and have been read in 151 different countries. We focus mainly on mental illness

covering topics like recovery, treatments, suicide, addictions, and alternative treatments (or pseudo science).

Mental illness as a medical condition that disrupts a person's thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others and daily functioning. Just as diabetes

is a disorder of the pancreas, mental illnesses are medical conditions that often result in a diminished capacity for coping with the ordinary demands of

life. Serious mental illnesses include major depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), panic disorder, post trau-

matic stress disorder (PTSD) and borderline personality disorder.

In contrast, mental health as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life,

can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community. That is quite different from mental illness.

Unfortunately there is a tendency to confuse these and many organizations including governments and health policy planners have a tendency to talk

about mental health issues and problems which are not the same as mental illnesses. As a result, services for those with mental illness (more severe

and more life altering) are often deficient as people focus on mental health (often referred to problems of the worried well).

The usual concept of treating those with more serious illnesses does not apply with the result that many of the serious mentally ill are left to fend for

themselves under treated, under serviced, a burden to frustrated families and often homeless or in jail.

Mind You The Realities of Mental Illness, ISBN 978-1-927637-31-9, $17.95 print distributed by Ingram and available wherever print and e-books are

sold will be available January 15 (pre-orders accepted). See https://www.amazon.com/Mind-You-Realities-Mental-Illness/...

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